As these thoughts run through my head
They keep throwing me off balance
The ones I talked too I don't see
The ones that I now know do not see
That these thoughts are affecting me
I don't know what to do
These thoughts crashed down on her all at once, Ari had died over 6 years ago at her hand but her sister had been killed in a Hamas bombing my other sister can't see me, she wasn't allowed into Israel by the hand of my father who might I add I hate, I don't act like it on the outside but in the inside I hate him more than anyone else in the world he sent me on this suicide mission, he let Salem capture me, torture me, rape me, I know have no reason to live. I have lost Tony the only one that I have ever really loved yes I have loved Michael but not for the same reasons as I do Tony, Michael is the father of my daughter who is living with my only sibling left, her name is Arielle she had been disowned by my father when she hadn't wanted to join Mossad. She lived in America but nobody in Gibbs team knew about her not even Jenny, she had been looking after my daughter Rose for a couple of years now, Rose was ten and understood that living with Ariel was the best thing for her if my father found out she would not be in the best position he would try and get her to live in Israel and create another Ari. My head has been covered with a dirty bag, I had heard new captives come into the place a couple of days ago but i could not will myself to try and hear who they where my body is weak I can hardly stand up I haven't had food in many days and water since the day before last, they kept me weak so I could not fight back. Suddenly my door was flung open, my bloody flinched and the man laughed as I knew it was Salem his body radiated with the smell of caf-pow the drink that Abby had drunk so many times before.
"Ziva get up" growled Salem as he walked over to me grabbing my ties that held my hands together
"Salem I can't" I said I knew he would beat me and laugh for saying those words but I couldn't go on, the only thoughts that kept running through my mind to get me this far was Tony, Ariel and Rose. Their faces filled my mind as I thought how much time I had waisted because of stupid rules and reasons in my life, my father, Gibbs and Mossad.
"Get up you have a visitor" growled Salem as he pushed my battered body up off the rags that he had chucked into my cell to sleep on they smelt disgusting when they first came in but now my body had adjusted to the smell that came of them. Last time I had a visitor he had beaten me nearly to death, he has been a passerby I tried to fight him off but as many times before I had failed because of my weakness. It had been weeks maybe even months since I had been captured my father planned this suicide mission I am sure. My life was now a cycle of rape, torture and starvation sometimes more than others but still the same no the less.