A/N: Voila, a new story! Warning- This is somewhat similar to Kagerou Daze and HetaOni, which is partially why the former makes a great background song while reading.

Come to think of it, Antonio was smiling.

Lovino trotted alongside Antonio, holding one of the bags with their gardening supplies and listening to his boyfriend chatter on about how excited he was that they were going to be planting more vegetables, not just tomatoes, and how he'd make Lovino the best salad when they'd grown and a multitude of other things. Lovino would occasionally add his own comment (usually something sharp-sounding but with little malice) but Antonio carried the conversation mostly on his own.

It was how they worked, one of the reasons that they could fit so well together. Antonio didn't mind talking to someone who didn't always talk back, and always found something exciting in even the smallest thing. Lovino didn't always feel like talking, and was usually content to just listen to Antonio's cheerful voice fill the air. He didn't even mind that Antonio had taken his hand- at least he didn't swing both their arms up and down the way Feliciano did.

People bustled around them, on their way to their usual Saturday afternoon activities. The sunlight splashed light on the pavement in front of them, filtered between the trees. They arrived at a crosswalk, and Lovino could see the bright awning of a cafe across from them. He wondered if Antonio would want to stop there for lunch, and was planning to ask him when time stopped.

One second….

Lovino's head turned from looking at the cafe and looked at the street.

Two seconds…

An car was hurtling towards them. It was a simple fact stated in Lovino's mind, his mind not quite processing that it was speeding and not stopping.

Three seconds….

Other people were talking, but their voices seemed louder. They pounded in Lovino's skull. His hand was suddenly released from Antonio's.

Four seconds…

An arm shoved Lovino, and the world resumed its normal flow, its previous honey-like version melting away into stark reality. However, this version of reality was different from what Lovino had experienced before time stopped.

He hit the pavement and rolled instinctively. This reality was loud and moved fast and was filled with a heightened sense of terror. He could hear people's screams of shock, the squealing of brakes.

And almost as quickly as time had resumed its normal function, so did Lovino's mind. It flooded into him all at once, the fallen bags of seeds and spades, a tossed aside bag of fertilizer. The piercing sound of his own name emerged as a memory. Lovino rolled over slowly, looking back to the crosswalk. The crosswalk….

"ANTONIO!"

"Cazzo, cazzo, cazzo…." Lovino repeated frantically, pacing back and forth, He clutched at his hair, running a hand through it before dropping it to his side and clenching both into fists. His breathing was too fast, he knew that, but he couldn't stop gasping for air. He couldn't make sense of the situation at all.

"Calm down, Lovi, calm down…"

"Mierde, Feli, how can I calm down? Oh God, oh my God…"

Somehow he was in Feliciano and Ludwig's house, except Ludwig had put the dogs and one cat outside and there was no pasta cooking, only Feli holding back tears and trying to talk soothingly to Lovino and Ludwig standing by the phone, his normally serious expression now incredibly grave.

What had happened? There had been blood, a lot of blood. And a car. And people talking frantically and sirens and...and Antonio. Lovino squeezed his eyes shut. It wouldn't disappear. The image was burned into his eyes. What had happened? What had happened to their day? It didn't make sense. Antonio had been smiling. Lovino could picture it clearly. And then suddenly there was blood.

Maybe somewhere, in the back of his mind, Lovino knew what had happened. He knew how Antonio had seen the car coming, and how he'd pushed Lovino out of the way. But Lovino, his mind in its current jumbled, panicked state, didn't believe it. Because how could Antonio be dead?

He'd been smiling.

Feli's arm was on Lovino's shoulder, and he could hear his brother's voice, for once completely calm in an emergency. But Lovino didn't hear the words- all he could hear was the small moan that rose in his throat as he sunk to his knees.

Then Lovino remembered.

There was one more thing. It had simply appeared in Lovino's hands at the scene of the accident, or maybe it had been next to him. No matter where Lovino had gotten it, it was an object one would not normally expect to be rolling around randomly. It was a small hourglass, nothing fancy about the design, but some part of Lovino's mind had acknowledged it as important, and, in his last act of rational thinking, had slipped it into his pocket just as the ambulance had arrived.

And just like that, one thought of the memory sent Lovino's mind spiraling into confusion and denial once again. "Nothing we can do to save him." "He was killed instantly when the car hit him." "What a tragedy…"

Did I tell you that I loved you that day? I can't remember. I usually forget in the mornings. Did I forget that day? I shouldn't have. Because that would've been the greatest mistake ever.

Even with Feli rubbing his back soothingly, and Ludwig in the kitchen, preparing some tea or something to calm him, the only relief Lovino garner came from running his fingers over the cool glass of the hourglass.

The sun was too bright outside. It beamed in through the windows of the guest room, where Lovino lay on his back, a hand flopped lazily over his forehead as he gazed at the plain ceiling. The room was decorated quite cheerfully, in playful shades of bright green, as Feliciano's infatuation with interior decorating went.

The color was painful enough. Bright green was Antonio's eyes, the grapes that he loved (but not nearly as much as tomatoes). Sometimes Lovino would wake up to an empty bed and stare outside to see a brilliantly green garden illuminated by sunlight, and Antonio crouched in it, tending to the plants.

For some reason, Lovino wasn't crying. He'd cried slightly before, in the early hours of the morning lying in bed, when he was barely awake and slipping off into sleep. But it hadn't happened since or before then. And he wasn't screaming either, and found that the need to curse had faded slightly. He felt numb and frozen.

Lovino rolled over, closing his eyes. He couldn't see the clock's red numbers, but he knew what time it was. The time when Antonio would excitedly rush to the living room and plant himself in front of the television to watch the ridiculously dramatic and cheesy soap operas that he loved.

In fact, Lovino had once found Antonio sobbing about the ending of his soap, only to be pleased when an equally sappy one aired the next week. While Lovino had caught a few episodes-only because the idiota had begged him- he'd been fed up with the love lives and secret twins and couldn't fathom what Antonio found worthy of crying over.

There was a knock on the door, and Lovino raised his head, saying listlessly, "Come in."

Feliciano entered, a nervous smile on his face and his steps quick and precise. He'd practically been walking on eggshells the past two days since the accident, which was logical, except Lovino couldn't feel the energy to snap at anyone, even Ludwig.

"I made some pasta, Lovi, would you like some?" Feli always cooked when he was upset. Even though it was lunchtime, Feli had already made pasta for breakfast and would probably continue cooking for the rest of the day. Ludwig had relinquished control of the kitchen for the next few days or so.

Lovino had already eaten some pasta in the morning, which, he supposed, was progress, or at least in Feli's eyes. But he didn't particularly feel like eating at the moment Shaking his head, Lovino replied, "No thanks, Feliciano."

Nodding, Feli turned towards the door. For a moment, he glanced back, and Lovino knew that some part of his brother wanted to come over and hug him, or try to talk about his feelings. But the moment passed, and Feli seemed to be aware that Lovino wasn't in the mood for anything, and the door closed and the sound of Feli's steps faded down the staircase.

Lovino turned his eyes back towards the ceiling. The day after the accident- accidents could be fixed, mistakes could be redone, right?- Feli had asked if he'd wanted to stay in his house- the house he and Antonio shared. Used to share. Shared. Shared.

Just the thought of it made Lovino sick, though, literal sick like he wanted to throw up and hide under the covers of the bed forever, so he'd ended up staying with Feliciano and Ludwig. And he didn't mind- he was grateful to them. But seeing Ludwig and Feliciano together hurt, and it wasn't out of jealousy. Because they clearly adored each other, and Lovino had just experienced how easily things you loved could slip out of your hands.

The curtains hung limply by the window, and the air was completely still. Lovino reached into his pocket, pulling out the hourglass he'd found at the scene of the accident. His brow furrowed as he studied it, rubbing the glass. He didn't understand where he'd gotten it, but for the past few days, at the most random of moments, he'd pulled it out to look at it.

Lovino gazed at the hourglass, and then turned it over, watching the first grain of sand fall from the mound at the bottom and to the other side.

And then the world abruptly disappeared.