October 2, 2011.
When I was young, they called me names. The names stung, and not just because they were cruel, spoken half in jest and half to make me hurt. They were wrong. They didn't fit. There is nothing worse than being called by a name that doesn't suit you. It's part of the magic of names, and why the stupidest thing you could ever do is to chose badly for the name you take.
One label that has always, always followed me around is 'insane'. I guess that one was kind of my fault. I never really tried to fit in, and people can't accept that. People are idiots, I guess. Hell, I was born blind, and I think most people can see even less than I could. Or maybe they could see, but never perceive, because their brains have been closed, their understanding frozen shut.
I'm not like that. I'm very open-minded. Everyone says so.
I'm the crazy girl with the Cheshire-Cat smile. I'm the one with the unsettling eyes. I'm the one who belongs in an asylum, but escapes it by working for people who don't give a damn about mental stability. I'm the retard who smiles too much.
I am fey and a temptress and a seer. I'm an oracle, a Cassandra, an ever-falling doll. I am inhuman, demonic, cursed. I'm the sweetest angel you'd never want to meet on a dark street corner.
I am clarity and I am uncertainty and I am mad. That is all I ever have been, and all I ever will be.
I am Clarabelle. I am the girl who talks about death like it's nothing, the one who'd do anything to feel, the one who is powerless to do even that. I am the girl who no one cares for. I'm the one with the eyes that shift color, that look like glass. I am the girl without a heart.
It's funny, but I wasn't always this way. I did, at one point, have a family. I could, at one point, feel. I had parents, and I had brothers. They were both younger than me – much younger. Their names were Stentor and Civet – well, they weren't then, but they did eventually choose those names. My parents loved them a lot. So did I. I think they even loved me, at one point. Just a little bit.
I am Clarabelle, and I am the girl without love.
A/N: This is something along the third rewrite of this I've done...
Palsy and amusia and silent murder~
Sweethearted.