A/N: One shot, with slash references. Set around 20-25 years ago. Just an idea that came to me and begged to be written.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you're not gay."
Heart thudding, palms sweating and with a single tear forcing its way down her pale face, the teenage girl slowly followed the instruction given to her.
"I'm not...gay."
The realisation of what she had just done hit her hard like a punch to the stomach: winding her mentally, suffocating her physically. She'd lied to the person she considered her closest friend, for fear of losing her respect. The ache of denial would be no match for the pain she'd suffer if her best friend were to abandon her.
Her friend left the house in silence, making sure to slam the door on her way out, confirming the brunette's suspicions that her closest ally was slowly slipping through her fingers. She collapsed on to her bed, her body trembling as vigorous sobs engulfed her, tears shamelessly falling from her eyes.
She knew, in her heart, that she was gay. She never anticipated just how difficult coming out would be. She'd shared secrets, some rather dark, with those closest to her before and it had proven relatively easily. Revealing to her loved ones something as trivial as her sexuality should be easy, shouldn't it? Especially for someone usually so confident, so bold. Someone who used wit in almost every situation and piled on the charm with a trowel. No amount of charm or wit could help ease the pressure of this particular situation however.
She wasn't ashamed of her sexual orientation as such, just frightened as to how others would react. She recalled the time a couple of years back where one of her classmates was outed in public, humiliated in front of everyone. She knew there was no way she could deal with that kind of embarrassment or bear that amount of pain, both physical and mental. On the other hand, she knew she couldn't cope with the strain of hiding such of a big secret. No matter which way she looked at her predicament, whatever did happen was going to hurt.
Dabbing at her tear-stained cheeks with a tissue, the curvaceous brunette made an attempt to compose herself. Suppose she told her parents, but instead of disowning her like she believed they would, they promised to support her? Suppose she told her best friend and instead of freaking out, she held her close and swore to always stick by her? Both of these positives were also possibilities but for some reason, the negative reactions she'd imagined over and over in her head were most prominent. Even though the likelihood of either scenario was fifty-fifty, she couldn't help but believe she'd be alone if she ever revealed her sexuality. It then struck her that she also faced loneliness if she continued to lie to those she loved and hid her true identity.
Jo Masters knew that she had to face her fears and reveal that she was gay.