Author's note:
So yes… I got sucked into that pivotal moment in the series, just like everyone else. I wanted to pop Lisbon over the head for her repeated tolerance of Jane abusing their relationship to what I thought was a breaking point. Oh well…
Not my best work, but it's something for fun.
Crescendo
This was not what she had been expecting. Coming to the park, no longer an agent, Lisbon had prepared herself for reassuring a morose or manic Jane that was ready to take on the FBI and getting them back on the track of Red John. But then, this whole vendetta was personal. She should have known a face-to-face challenge would be issued. She just thought they had more time, now that Bertram had been outted and was on the run.
Now she stared up at the tense form of her friend and ex-consultant. His eyes were burning into her face. A stray thought crossed her mind that at least he wasn't using his conman smile.
"You knew this day was coming. It's here."
"Let me come with you." Lisbon was proud that she managed to contain her desperation and sound like a professional. She knew that after his stunt on the beach, his plans would not include her. She still had to try.
"No, I don't want you involved."
Anger sparked in her chest, battling the numbness that seemed to have lodged there when Agent Abbott ordered the shutdown of the CBI. She snorted, "Involved? I am involved!"
He held his ground. "Not anymore."
Finally his green eyes broke their laser lock on her and he glanced down at her waist. "I'm going to need to borrow your gun."
Alarmed, Lisbon almost stepped back, her hand slipping to her holster under her jacket. "My gun?"
The classic, impatient Jane rolled his eyes at her. "Yes. I'm not going to use it. It's just a prop."
She still hesitated, torn between indecision to let him dig himself even deeper into this hole, or giving him a chance to survive whatever mad encounter he would have with Red John.
"Teresa, trust me, please. Just trust me."
Didn't she ultimately always do what he asked? Somehow, even against her own stubborn nature, this man managed to get her to do his will. Sometimes he manipulated her through trickery, sometimes through blatant lies, and sometimes, just sometimes, through the begging in his eyes. She was involved – regardless what Jane would argue or strive to protect her from. Ironic that he was asking this last favor.
She slowly un-holstered her personal weapon and passed it to him with a glance around the park. He took it. Their hands met over the cold steel. It was strange that his hands were so warm, and hers felt like ice. Those haunted blue-green eyes were once again fixed on her face, drinking her in because she knew this was probably the last time they would see one another. This was it.
Jane tucked the gun into his belt under his jacket. With a half-hearted smile, he said, "Thank you."
Lisbon stood awkwardly shifting her weight from one foot to the other, out of words, out of arguments, and out of any actions that would stand a chance at changing the impending future. He stared for one long moment and she swore he was about to hug her. She doubted she would be able to let him go if he did. As if he could read her mind (though hadn't he always been able to?) he flashed her a broken smile, turned, and jogged away.
She inhaled long and slow, trying to release the pain that lanced through her chest at the sight of his back.
Minutes later, she was proud that her team, led by Cho, stands at their defense against the FBI. How she longed to simply order Abbot to strip off his shirt and show them his shoulder. Rigsby, Grace, and Cho – her family standing together to help their last, wayward member on the mission that has consumed his life. All Jane could do was take her car and give them a blinding smile as well as a "Thanks guys!" before he's gone.
This time it sounded like goodbye.
When she was given her phone a few days later, she listens to his last message with a pounding heart. The FBI had been scrambling to put out APB's and securing airports, but Jane had clearly slipped through their nets.
On the recording, he sounded out of breath. She wondered how long it had taken him to pick up the phone between the death of McAllister and thinking of her. Thankfully she had the foresight to listen while in private, locked in her room, curled up on the bed. When his voice cracked as he said, "I'm going to miss you." she couldn't stop the tears.
He was going to live.
One of her darkest fears had always been that he was going to do something morbidly dramatic like suicide once he caught Red John – if he wasn't killed in the process. It was a fear she had carried in a little mental box, and braced herself for every time they came up with a new Red John lead. But he was going to live, at least for now. He was going to live and miss her… and so was she.
That was going to be enough.
Now she had to be practical and find a means to survive in a world and a job without the CBI, her team, and Patrick Jane. It was daunting, but not impossible. She'd faced bigger odds.
Author's Note:
There is a part 2 to come.