In which the Spades finds out where Akainu takes his shore leave, and a convoluted plot twist is in order.

It happened by chance, when the Spades had been reviewing the fruits of their labor from a certain Marine base in GrandLine, that they came upon the information regarding the prank-made-Romeo, Akainu.

Specifically, the places he takes his shore leave.

"Baterilla and Nike islands? What could Akainu want from there?"

"Apparently, Akainu was born on SouthBlue, and he bought propery at Nike. " Deuce explained for further information.

"You know, I was born in South Blue, Baterilla more specifically." Ace said out of the blue, and that's how Alice had written the most romantic love story ever written by a pirate about a marine admiral and a female pirate captain. It was full of b***, but what do you expect from a pirate?

But of course, such a masterful creation should not be contained, could not be contained- with how busy-bodies Spades were with their crewmates' businesses.

So next week's news coo's gossip section held bits and pieces from the so-called "Journal of Annie Noir "Lady Spade" D. Portgas"

It was the summer of my 20th birthday. I thought I'd forever be stuck on the port of Baterilla with my lovely baby brother Ace. Well, troublesome and crazy, as he is my brother, and craziness runs in the family.

Ace had been growing-up rather fast, and filling-up into a fine young 10-year old. Sometimes, I catch the village girls gazing at him with eyes of admiration, and blushing as bright red as a tomato when he greets them good morning.

I haven't the slightest clue what they see in him, my baby brother. But the old gals have been teasing and asking me if I've gotten myself a man that I fancy. I honestly could not tell them that their kids the same age as I, are just that, kids. If they're trying to subtly imply that I have to choose a man between their litters, then jokes on them, they aren't men at all!

But of course, I couldn't say that to our customers, so I smiled and said I haven't met anyone that I find interesting yet.

As you could tell, I'm not like that of the average girl. Growing up as a barmaid, I'm made of sterner stuff. I truthfully thought no man could ever capture my heart, up until one fine summer day when I turned 20 years-old.

He wasn't like the other boys. He was, older of course. He was a man. Broad shoulders, stern-faced and sharp features. When he entered the bar, it was obvious that he didn't belong, and like a magnet, I was attracted.

He wore a marine uniform with a high rank, a commodore maybe. Too high for the likes of here at South Blue. The highest I know of such stationed here were lieutenants and captains.

I've never liked marines, but I don't hate them either. You see, the history of Baterilla is bathed in the blood of dead infants by the hands of the marines. We don't have a whole 2 year's worth of children because of the great Pirate Prince's hunt. Luckily, Ace was born a year after the hunt, so there was no great offense to my family.

Still, I have neighbors who've lost their babies in that unfortunate hunt. It doesn't help that they blame Gold Roger for their loss, instead of the World Government or the marines who ordered and executed the killings.

It is sad. Because when I was 10, and that was the first time I held Ace, I was so delighted to have a baby brother. He was so wrinkly and tiny, of course, but he was so wonderful and small and adorable! And so innocent while growing up. I never would understand why the government would send assassins to kill a baby. They haven't the slightest clue what or who they are and would be until they're older.

Some kids take after their parents. I took after the bar when my mom died. Ace... I don't know his dad, but I don't know mine either. But in memory and honor of my ever loving mother, I choose to stay here and continue her life's work as a barmaid.

Ace wants to be a barman too. He's good at entertaining people, as bat shit insane he is and does random stunts which lands him in the clinics around town. He's been helpful, but I want him out of this bar. He's a young lad, and his longing for adventure. But here doesn't have anything to offer him.

Maybe if he were a marine... I laugh at the thought of Ace as a soldier.

But back to the present. A marine at the table at the far corner of the bar. A handsome one, maybe at their late 20's.

I approached him, to get his order.

He was serious, and sort of boring for the first half of the conversation. Until he commented that my skirt was stuck to my undershorts...

I blushed bright red, I was worried I'd explode.

Well, that's as gentlemanly as a man can get. Frankly, I like frank people, straight to the point, no flowery words, clipt.

I immediately pulled my skirt loose from my shorts and settled it back in place. I gave a stink eye to the "kids" who were sniggering at me and my little incident and immediately returned to my customer.

"Thank you for telling me. Let me get you a drink, free of charge." The least I could do to thank him.

"If you're bribing me to forget, then I'd rather decline miss. You just made my day." He said with a smile. By how stiff his cheeks were, and unpracticed, I could tell he isn't the kind to smile often. He reminds me so much of the rabid dog of that one senile old farmer down the road. When he smiles, he looks constipated.

"Oh? How about I give you a drink to remember me instead. My break's in 5 minutes, enough time to make your order and serve it to ya' and chat a bit, how about that?" I recall batting my eyes, I normally wouldn't, but I've been doing a ton of weird stuff today.

"Sounds fine to me."

And that's how I met Sakazuki Akainu.

July 12, xxxx

The past two days had been wonderful.

His name is Sakazuki Akainu, 31 years old, occupation- marine. He's polite, stoic but kind, and has a black and white sense of justice, he called it absolute justice. Whereas I'm more of a- PRANKS ARE JUSTICE. And KARMA IS GONNA GET YOU- type of girl. He laughed and told me how cute I was.

For some strange reason, Ace doesn't like him. And he doesn't like Ace's freckles either. Reminds him of an old acquaintance, Suki-san said. Ace just doesn't like his face, he says.

He's a good man. Well-meaning, but I could tell he isn't going to stay here. He's too much like Ace, and he loves his job. He told me he's climbing the ranks, and his dream is to rid the world of filthy scum like pirates.

He says it with so much determination like it will actually come true in the future. I love a man with ambition.

I also love a man with a chiseled torso and a figure of a Greek god. And gowd he has it all. I just couldn't help myself, why my hands keep on finding their way to his arms and his pecs. So nice and firm, and I just want to squeeze them so much. I just wanna wrap him up all nice and pretty and stuff him in my closet where only I could touch him.

At this point, Ace and a few other men were laughing, some were gagging, showing disgust, but it's obvious they were just jealous because they don't have chiseled figures. Alice was amused.

"So Ace, you gonna call Akainu Suki-san when you meet him?"

"Fat chance!" Ace laughed. "We've read the dummy journal. You all know the ending anyway."

But the girls who were reading the news who did not know the ending of the journal's story, somewhere out there in the world, actually agree with Lady Spade and support her epic giggle-inducing romance.

And those fangirls requested a weekly column of Lady Spade's journal pages on the gossip section.