Age is Just a Number

Peri

Summary: Chris gets caught in a lie, and a trap. However, he doesn't find his punishment to be very fitting. ONESHOT

Disclaimer: Yep, that's right, I don't own anything.

Note: I've changed some things, so I think this is technically an AU, and for anyone who isn't aware, the drinking age is 21 stateside. Written during the early Billie years, but she plays a minor part. Just a short little ficlet that was written for my own personal amusement, and because I'd rather write FanFic than study.

Chris and his aunts were at P3 decorating for the big Halloween bash, when something occurred to Piper as she watched Chris take a sip of the drink she had just handed him.

"Chris," She said casually, "I know you don't want to divulge to us too much information from the future but...are you actually old enough to drink?"

"Uh yeah." Chris said evasively turning away from his mother.

Phoebe smirked knowingly, obviously no one had taught Chris to lie well.

"Chris," Paige said "My dear, sweet, innocent, little nephew...you know I'm sure I must have taught you to lie much better in the future"

"Hey!" Phoebe said "I thought it was going be my job to teach them how to deceive their parents."

"No way!" Paige objected. "I'm the cool aunt, the one who teaches them that important stuff."

"Zip it." Piper told them. "No one is going to teach them how to lie--especially you two, 'cause you get caught all the time."

"Do not." Paige sulked.

"Me either." Phoebe denied.

"Anyhow..." Piper continued, "Chris how old are you?"

"I'm not lying" he maintained.

"I didn't ask you if you were lying." Piper said. "I asked you how old you were"

Chris mumbled something incoherently.

"Hmmm..." Piper said "I didn't quite catch that"

"Nineteen." He 'fessed up, "But..."

"No." Piper said taking his drink away, and pouring it down the drain.

"Unbelievable," Piper continued, not missing a beat. "Absolutely unbelievable! All this time you've been letting me give you alcohol and you're underage!"

"Wait." Phoebe said as this new fact about Chris sunk in. "Okay you're nineteen, you are way to young to have been considering marriage. You are just way too young"

Out of the corner of his eye as Phoebe was talking, Chris spotted a darklighter about ten feet away from Paige. Before the sisters even realized what was happening, Chris ran to where Paige was standing and pushed her out of harms way. Piper spotted the darklighter and blew him up, but not before he shot off an arrow.

"Paige," Piper looked to her sister, once she regained her bearings "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Paige nodded her head. "Thanks to Chris"

"Chris." Paige looked over to him, but didn't see him. "Chris?"

Chris was still lying on the ground.

"Oh god...Piper" Paige's eyes widened fearfully as she realized what had happened. "Chris was hit by an arrow"

Piper moved to run to her son's side.

"Piper no." Paige stopped her. "Don't forget you have whitelighter blood too"

"Leo!" Piper called. "Leo!"

Leo orbed in, looking quite relaxed "What's wrong?" he asked, the relaxed look, morphing into worry at Piper's panicked expression.

"Chris." Piper told him. "He was hit by a darklighter arrow"

"Leo." Phoebe said, "Wait, you shouldn't get to close either. Not until we get the arrow out"

Chris was unconscious which had everyone very worried, but Phoebe knew they couldn't do anything until the arrow was removed. Phoebe had to admit she figured it was better that Chris was out right now because taking those arrows wasn't exactly painless, and she didn't want to cause her nephew any unnecessary pain. Phoebe rolled her nephew over onto his side, breaking the arrow in half, then pulling it out. She grabbed the two pieces and ran them to the garbage immediately; after all, the last thing they needed around was a darklighter arrow.

Leo went immediately to his son's side to heal him . Chris came to quicker than he expected.

"This is starting to get really damn irritating" Chris said sitting up slowly rubbing his shoulder.

Leo couldn't help the smile that spread onto his face, Chris sounded so much like Piper.

"Okay." Leo said, "If no one else needs healing I had better get back to the manor, because I left Billie there alone when you called me."

Paige grinned as an idea popped into her head.

"Leo, I've got a better idea. Chris is a witch, he'd be a much better babysitter for a witch in training. After all, she could use some help with those potions, and Chris is so good at potions..."

"Okay," Leo shrugged, and looked to his wife with a slight smile. "Why not? Have fun Chris"

"No." Chris shook his head vigorously. "Please Paige, c'mon I'm here to help you guys, to save Wyatt…not baby-sit that blonde hindrance."

"You can help us sweetie," Piper said with a smile. What could be a better punishment for lying about his age. "Back at the manor."

"Mom!" Chris complained, "Please?"

Piper shook her head.

Chris pulled his last card, giving her his best puppy dog eyes. "Remember I just got shot."

"Exactly." Piper agreed. "You'll be much safer back at the manor"

Chris orbed out angrily. He couldn't stand Billie, she was the rookie when it came to being a witch. He mastered how to make potions she'd never manage...at the age of twelve. He was Charmed for god's sake, and not here to baby her--he was here to save Wyatt, which they just consistently seemed to forget.

He was sure they'd all be better off if they dumped her in the nearest fire pit. Maybe orb her into a volcano.

Chris grinned at the thought. If anyone would deserve it, it was her.

-Fin-