Doggy Style
It was a grand day at the city's museum of natural science. Dr. Thomas Light was moments away from unveiling his latest invention to the world, and with him as always was his robotic family. As Megaman and his sister Roll toiled in erecting the presentation stage, several reporters were interviewing Doctor Light.
"I call it the 'mind-map,'" the doctor announced. "Using the latest technological breakthroughs we can now plot out the vast recesses of the brain and explore the many mysteries that still exist inside our heads."
"Amazing Doctor Light, how safe would you say your device is?" A reporter asked.
"Well that's what I intend to find out today. Using my Robot assistants as test subjects for my first public demonstration we will see how close we are to actually using the device on people."
"Very ahem, interesting Doctor Light, aheh heh heh." An orange reporter commented.
As the interview went on, Megaman and Roll were just about finished with the stage. The cybernetic dog Rush ran into the room and began to run around Mega frantically.
"Ruff, ruff, Mega, Mega!" the dog barked constantly. Megaman pet his loyal dog and companion.
"Not now, Rush. I still have work to do." He pushed the dog off of his lap. The robotic canine then jumped on top of Roll who gave a similar response.
"Rush leave us alone, we have to finish the presentation. What's next Mega?" The plastic blonde asked.
"All that's left is to roll out the device to center stage. Why don't you take Rush and do that? I'll check in with Doctor Light and see if he needs anything else taken care of."
And so Roll and Rush went backstage where the mind-map device was stored. The mind-map appeared to be a large recliner with an enclosed turbine attached to the backing.
"That looks comfortable!" said Roll, an android with no concept of comfort except what was programed into her. Somewhere in her processor it seemed like a reasonable idea to sit in the mind-mapper for a moment. As she reclined and breathed a sigh, Rush's tail wagged furiously.
"Ruff, ruff! Rye run!" Rush whimpered. He jumped into Roll's lap and his weight combined with hers was enough to shift the interior workings of the mapper, setting off the machine. A combination of gears and cranks whirled and churned as a bright light engulfed the robots. At center stage, Megaman and Dr. Light noticed the anomaly and rushed to the scene. When they got backstage, everything appeared normal as if nothing at all had happened.
"Roll what's going on here?" Dr. Light asked.
"I don't know, there was this flash and…" Rush said. The doctor and Megaman stared at the dog puzzled. The robotic canine shook it's head and looked around equally stumped. "Why is my voice coming out of Rush?"
"Wry don't know?" Roll admitted. The Robot girl got up from the recliner and found it initially difficult to walk. "Wroah!"
"Doctor Light what exactly happened? Did that light have something to do with this?" Megaman asked pointing at the girl and dog, which were acting quite peculiar.
"Well Megaman, it's pretty damn obvious, Roll and Rush's minds have swapped. Somehow the mind-map must have malfunctioned and we've got this crap to deal with. God it's something every week with you damn robots…"
"Hmm curious…" Cutman, who was disguised as one of the reporters peeked at the strange situation. "I've got to 'report' back to Dr. Wily at once!"
…
After cancelling the event at the museum, a distraught Doctor Light arrived home with his dysfunctional family of robots.
"What do we do now?" Roll asked. Her mind still trapped in Rush's body.
"I'll just have to fix the mind-mapper as soon as possible and reverse the change. I'll get right on that after I catch up on my TiVo subscriptions…"
"Well what about in the mean time?" Megaman asked, feeling useless for the first time ever.
"Oh I don't know just try and keep them out of trouble… steer clear of the usual clichés and what not. But whatever you do there is one thing you must absolutely not do…" Doctor Light instructed.
"Wruts That?" Rush asked.
"Don't bother me."
…
Meanwhile at Doctor Wily's crazy skull lair, the mad genius and Protoman, (Megaman's brother) were in the middle of assembling an Ikea desk.
"Vhere is 'A'? I need it immediately!" the doctor hollered. Protoman searched through the pile of planks and nails and pulled out on that was labeled 'A'.
"Here it is doc, but I think you put that last leg on backwards!" The cocky robot pointed out.
"Horse genitals! I've got to start all over now!" Wily kicked the desk on its side. "Vhere is that Cutman? I sent him to spy on Doctor Light hours ago!"
"Right here master, ah heh ah heh ah heh." Cutman appeared before the pair. "I decided to 'cut in' on Doctor Light's demonstration, but there was an accident and he had to…cut things short. Ah heh ah heh ah heh."
"Vat happened report now!" Dr. Wily demanded, and so Cutman explained all that had happened at the museum.
"But let me cut to the chase, Megaman's robot dog and sister's mind's have been switched."
"Vhat a perfect opportunity to… vait a minute I don't see any real tactical advantage in this situation." Dr. Wily admitted.
"Well I've got a great plan to mess up that mega-dork and his pooch." Protoman boasted.
…
"How does it feel?" Megaman asked. The three Lightbot's were conversing in the hallway leading to the laboratory.
"It's strange being controlling Rush's body, I can figure out most of it but there are a lot of functions I am not familiar with." Roll admitted.
"Well Rush does have a lot more transportation and combat modes that your body definitely isn't equipped with." Megaman laughed.
"What's that supposed to mean!?" Roll barked at her brother.
"Rush is just built to handle different tasks, hopefully Dr. Light will be able to reverse the accident before Dr. Wily shows up again." And as irony would have it several alarms inside of the laboratory sounded off, indicating that Dr. Wily had once again showed up.
"Gadzooks! Dr. Wily's up to no good!" Megaman shouted as he read one of the scanner screens. "His robots are terrorizing the national dog park!"
"But Mega, what reason would Dr. Wily have to take control of a national park dedicated to dog walking?" Roll asked.
"Rah rhat gives?" Rush added.
"I don't know but I've got to stop him. Wilikers, how am I going to get all the way over there in time?" Megaman pounded his fist on the console. Hastily pressing down on his communicator he rang Dr. Light. "Dr. Light, the Wilybots are causing a ruckus down at the national dog park!"
"Can you describe the ruckus?" Dr. Light laughed. "Sorry Megaman just screwing with you. So what, just go clobber them like always…"
"But sir, how do I commute there?"
"Take the bus, I don't know… that's what I got that blasted dog for."
"But Dr. Light, Roll's mind is in Rush's body remember, she doesn't know how to fly proficiently enough to take me all the way there."
"Megaman quit your bitching and ride your sister into battle… now stop interrupting me, I'm at the part in the Breakfast Club were they all start crying."
"Roll it looks like I've got no other options, we're going to have to team up this time." Megaman admitted. "Can you transform into jet mode?"
"Ok let me try." Roll nodded. With little effort her dog body transformed into submarine mode.
"Rut roe" Rush commented.
"Hold on I'll get the hang of it." Roll pleaded, on the second try she successfully transformed into jet mode.
"Alright let's go kick some tail!" Megaman jumped on top of the robot dog.
Once at the national dog park, Megaman instantly recognized the Wilybots who were causing trouble for all the peaceful citizens. Gutsman and Cutman were disguised as oversized dogs and being walked on a laser leash by Protoman.
"I don't know what your up to Protoman but I'm here to stop you!" Megaman shouted, firing off a round of plasma blasts at his metal brother.
"I'm not up to anything just going for a stroll, bro." Protoman joked, deflecting the blasts with his shield. "Sic him boys!" he yelled as he deactivated the leash. Gutsman, who was disguised as a bulldog, lunged up in the air and bit Roll, forcing her to transform back into standard mode.
"Owch, Megaman we're going down!" She screamed as they hit the ground with a bang. Cutman who was also disguised (as a French poodle.) approached the Lightbots and began his usual banter.
"Time to cut you down to size, Megaman. Ah heh ah heh heh."
"Cut it out, with the puns Cutman!" Roll barked, latching her fangs into the Wilybot's leg. Megaman focused on firing more blasts at Gutsman. Protoman leaped into battle, knocking his brother to the ground with a sucker punch.
"That was a dirty move, Protoman!" Megaman spat oil onto the ground as he rose to his feet.
"What can I say, it's a dog eat dog world bro!" Protoman chuckled. Suddenly he was thrown to the ground, Rush had arrived on the scene.
"Mega, Mega!" Rush gave a thumb up to his master as he pinned down Protoman, who was charging his arm cannon. While the dog was distracted Protoman man released the charge shot, blowing a hole clear through Roll's body.
"Rush!" Megaman cried.
"My body!" Roll yelped, still attacking Cutman.
"Fetch this!" Protoman commanded his fellow Wilybots as he tossed Roll's limp body across the field. Cutman and Gutsman proceeded to kick the tar out of Roll's deactivated form.
"NO!!!" Megaman hollered. He grabbed his brother by the scarf and punched him directly in the face, and then again, and again. It got pretty crazy at that point. Protoman just laughed, and jabbed Megaman in the gut, (Which shouldn't actually be a point of weakness considering that he's a robot, but whatever.)
As Megaman fell to the ground, Roll transformed into jet mode and attempted to save her brother, but just then an electromagnetic net engulfed her and she too was forced to the ground.
"Vho let the dogs out?" Dr. Wily, (dressed as a dogcatcher) laughed maniacally to himself. Roll struggled to free herself from the net to no avail.
"Why is everything so difficult today!?" Megaman asked himself harshly. Frustrated he fired off several more plasma blasts towards Protoman, and as he was shielding himself, Megaman escaped towards Cutman and Gutsman. Landing a strong hit to Cutman's jaw Megaman knocked the wilybot down. Megaman clutched the fallen robots arm, absorbing his power temporarily. Now with Cutman's ability he leap into the air and fired a cut scissor at Gutsman. "Sorry Gutsman but it's the law to spay and neuter pets!" the scissor slashed the chrome nether region of Gutsman, who processed the happening as a critical blow even though all his key components were in his chest cabinet. As Gutsman also fell to the ground, Megaman proceeded to steal his powers as well. Using his new found strength to pull a light pole out of the ground Megaman swung the pole at Protoman who was admittedly unprepared and therefore utterly obliterated by the piece of cheap city metal.
"Ah…um…vell I vas alvays more of a cat person…" Dr. Wily threw his hands up in surrender.
…
"Doctor Light, Doctor Light!" Megaman screamed over the communicator. "It's Roll's body, she's in real bad shape." He held her broken body in his arms as he ran into the lab. Roll followed still in jet mode.
"Huh. I could have guessed the dog would have messed up in battle. Well just throw her body in the pile over there. I've got a spare in the storage closet."
"What spares?" Megaman questioned his master as he laid the wrecked android on top of a scrap heap in the corner of the lab.
"Of course, you don't think I don't have multiple copies of my robots? It's not like I can send any of you kids back to the manufacturer should you malfunction. Think of the spare closet as my extended warranty of sorts."
"Ah ha!" Cutman muttered to himself, his head disguised as a flowerpot on the lab windowsill.
"After watching the first season of Warehouse 13 I think I figured out how to successfully reverse this whole switcheroo we've got on our hands." Megaman wasn't sure if he was more surprised by the doctor's means of research or by the fact that the word switcheroo cleared his spell check without any problem. "I'll just use the mind mapper again to put Roll's consciousness into a new copy of her body. Simple as that really…"
"But Dr. Light, what about Rush?" Megaman asked with a tear in his eye.
"Uh… how about I get you a new dog Megaman?" the doctor suggested.