EDWARD POV

The trees were dark as I walked silently through the woods.

I should have been cold. I should have shivered under the cold wind wrapping its way around me. But I did not. In fact, I barely flinched..

The cold had ceased to mean much to me anymore. For years, not many, but enough to serve as a painful reminder. Of one that I had lost. And all in a moment of foolishness....

"Bella..?"

The question had rung out in darkness, one that I was not accustumed to. I was looking for Bella. Normally, I would not have left her side willingly, but I had been talking to Carlisle about something...I cannot remember what it was about now, because the next thing , I saw , clouded my mind.

Bella was there, oh, she was there. What I noticed first, was that she was crying... Tears fell down her cheeks, her eyes, bloodshot and tired. I moved forwards to comfort her. To hold her and ask what was the matter? Why was she sad? My heart groaned to see her like that. About to move forwards, actually putting my foot out towards her, I then, sensed something.

I would have sensed him before, long before now, but I suppose Bella's plight had distracted me somewhat. Now, I recoiled, as the scent of musky dog reached up into my nostrils. I took a step backwards, as his odour filled the air between Bella and myself.

It was Jacob.

It was then, and only then, that I noticed that his arms were wrapped around hers. She was coocooned in his arm, weeping. What made me stop, I still dont know. For one mad moment, I thought he was strangling her, and i was prepared to go out, and personally rip his throat out, even if I had to do it in front of Bella.

But,, instead, I heard his voice, low, and far, far too emotial for my liking..

"Bella..." He began. " Bella....You chose him...You dont , you never wanted me..what makes you want me now?"

What?

"Jacob..." Bella sobbed. " Jacob....I do...I mean..I want you....its just that ...I want him as well..."

Jacob broke away slightly. " Well, Bella, You're gonna have to choose, because you can't have both of us.."

"I know, I know!" Bella wailed..

"Bella.." Jacob leaned down. " Think of the possibilities, if you were to pick me...I could give you something, that he can't..."

Bella was silent, staring at him.

No, Bella...

I silently begged. A part of me, knew that his was the more attractive offer. He could give her children, a life, hell, he could even grow old with her.

He had the choice. I didn't.

Still. I begged, what would I do without her?

Bella's voice was shaky when she next spoke.." What could you give me, that Edward couldn't, Jacob?"

She didnt want to , to offer him a chance to offer himself, but being Bella, she felt that she should.

Jacob knew this also. He knew that he was always going to win.

"I could....give you children.. We could go places. We wouldn't have to hide in the shade, because I'm not like him, Bella. Sure , I might not be completely human, but...I look out for the safety of others...I would always, always put you first..." His voice broke.

"So would Edward..." Bella murmered. I stood there, frozen in place, my entire existance depending on the next words out of her lips.

" I could grow old with you, Bella"

I knew it. Realisation hit me, right there and then. Those were the words that would finally convince her. Bella was maternal.

To my horror, they were. She stood there, for what seemed to be an eternity.

"Okay. "

And slowly, I watched, my heart shattering into a thousand pieces, as Jacob smiled once at her, dipped his head, and kissed her very softly on the lips.

A howl of fury rent the air, I realised it was me, Bella, and Jacob moved to stared at me.

Bella, frightened, and Jacob, defiant.

" How long have you been spying on us, bloodsucker?" he cried his eyes alight with a potential fight.

I was ready to give him one. Oh, God, how I wanted to leap at him, and rip his head from his shoulders, his limbs from his body , how I wanted to drain his body of his blood....

One look at Bella's pleading face, and my cold , non existant heart melted. She wanted him.

He would make her happy.

How could I distroy that?

Instead, I turned tail, and ran.

Its been years since I saw her last.

The left soon after, telling everyone that they were going to travel.

She came looking for me. Of course she did.

She even ventured into the woods to find me, saying she was sorry, that she had never meant for this to happen this way, etc.

I couldn't look at her.

I couldnt bring myself to look once more into those two pools of innocent brown. And know, that I was going to lose them.

Lose them to a dog.

Its been five years now. Every day, I curl up into a ball, trying, in vain to forget her.

Every day, instead of the pain easing, it gets harder. Harder , and harder to bear.

No one knows.

I could leave. I could journey back to Alaska, to Denali, but....the pain would attack me , even there.

I dont know how to escape.