(A/N: Before you guys start, this story takes place in an alternate universe in a completely made up city with some parts from my home town, also it's told mainly in Youko's POV Also, I initially rated this "mature" for now it will be rated T until sexytimes happen or whatever. But right now, there's just going to be a bunch of strongly worded language bwahahaha, so if that ain't your thing, this isn't the story for you)

Kurama has done a lot of stupid things in the past, but those were little bumps on the road he encountered in his youth and honestly, he had no excuse for what he was doing now. First off, never in his life would he think of entering a bar with the name Pink Flamingo. Secondly, frottaging in the disabled stall in said gay bar was definitely something he never thought he would do.

After downing two fingers of whiskey, I found myself loosen up. I don't drink that often, or go to gay bars, actually, and I don't really do anything irrational even when it comes to the most pressing matters, but sometimes life just catches up to the point where all you can do is make a string of crude decisions until you're satisfied with fucking yourself over.

Although the bar had a tacky name, at least the interior was pretty clean. Downstairs led to the club scene while upstairs had a simple trendy bar, and thankfully it was the middle of the night so the bar was nearly empty and music wasn't making the floor vibrate from the lower level. Weirdly enough, Pink Flamingo was situated smack down in the middle of the financial district, right in fucking back of the Enma publishing company where I currently work. I tried to tell myself I came here because I was in desperate need for a drink and this was the closest bar, but I knew that I couldn't fool myself.

"I'll get a whiskey, neat, on the rocks. And another one for this guy too," I heard a voice reply. "Looks like he could use another one," he mock whispered to the bartender. I turned in my seat to where the voice was coming from to come face to face with a very indistinct looking mug. He had black hair, dark eyes, and didn't really look any different from the day to day pedestrians you find around the area.

"And you are?" I asked rather rudely. He was better looking than the average person, I'll give him that, but that's more of a reason why I should keep my defenses up.

"Whoever you want me to be," he winked and gave me a toothy grin. I rolled my eyes and stood from my seat, preparing to move away. "Hey, no wait, I'm just kidding," the dark haired man said as he grabbed my arm and sat me back down on my chair. "My name is Kuronue and I swear I am not always this bad at socializing," he stuck his hand out with eager eyes.

"Kurama," I replied curtly, ignoring his handshake.

"Are you always this cold?" Kuronue asked as he retracted his hand.

"Only to men who try to hit on my by using cheesy pick up lines," I took a large gulp of my free drink, feeling the buzz kicking in.

"You're pretty intimidating you know that?" he said in a completely nonchalant manner. As if he was stating a fact rather than an insult. "But I guess you have the right to be, I mean look at you. You're absolutely stunning," it looked like he was about to reach for my face, but thought better of it when I shot him a glare.

"Thanks for the alcohol and the petty compliments but I'm not going to fuck you just because you're playing the part of a gentleman," I saw him take another sip of the whiskey, completely unfazed by my blunt remark.

"I'm not trying to be crass here, but you're at a gay bar at 2AM in the morning and you've been here for over an hour obviously waiting for something to happen. So forgive me for reading you the wrong way." His voice sounded genuinely sincere yet his comment felt like a slap to the face, mainly because it hit so close to home.

"I'm sorry if I came off rude. Mother warned me not to trust people that buy me drinks," I said after a while, slowly tracing the edge of my glass. I was drunk, I was flirting back, and this bastard was completely right. I was here for a reason. The reason I came to this damn place was to get him out of my mind, and I'd rather be losing control with someone I find attractive than some balding fat middle aged man.

He tilted his head back and laughed. I could feel my mouth dry up as I took a good look at his long pale neck. "Well sometimes you just have to follow intuition when it comes to these kinda things," he stood up from his seat and started walking to the bathroom, turning around only to beckon me to follow.

I wasn't going to follow him. I really wasn't. But his ass looked good in those jeans and tonight I had very little self control. "Fuck my life," I cursed under my breath as I followed him into the bathroom stall.

The restroom was surprisingly clean, with a little ficus in the corner and a tasteful leather couch to match, then again, I'm pretty sure people did more than go to the bathroom here. But before I was really able to scan the area, Kuronue pulled me into the disabled stall and pushed me until my back hit the door. He wasted no time as his lips crashed into mine, shoving his tongue in until I groaned, arching into the touch. He was an aggressive kisser, and I tried my best to mimic his energy, trying to go with whatever felt right. Without breaking the kiss, Kuronue lifted my dress shirt up and began to unbuckle my pants, rutting onto me as he shoved his thigh between my legs. When we finally pulled apart, his lips were red and swollen, our breathing hard and rough.

Kuronue stared at me, his dark violet eyes bore into my gold ones as he bent down to place a gentle kiss next to my ear. This sudden switch up from the energy before caught me off guard and I suddenly found myself remembering something I desperately wanted to forget. His touch was too slow, too intimate, too close to what I was used to. "Is something wrong?" he asked, stroking my cheek.

"What the hell," I huffed out as he halted everything.

"I just want to make sure you're okay with this. I don't want to force you into anything," he murmured next to my ear. Kuronue's hand traveled down to my inner thigh, stroking it lightly enough to earn him a breathy gasp.

"You're fucking kidding me right. You basically try to get me drunk, then hit on me, and now that we're in the middle of almost screwing each other in the bathroom you want to stop?" I asked incredulously.

"I don't want you to regret anything, that's all.," Inside the bar, Kuronue looked like the type of person who could eat a person alive. Although pretty average in physical traits, his velvety voice and bedroom eyes were a deadly combination when it came to flirting, but this man in front of me looked completely different. He locked me in a questioning gaze, a silent ask to see if I wanted to go any further.

"Don't try to be all sentimental when you're trying to have a one night stand with someone!" I yelled, suddenly feeling very turned off. "Why the hell did you even try to pick me up!"

"Because you're breathtaking," he placed a light kiss on the corner of my lips and I glared at him. He wasn't allowed to touch me that way. "And you looked like you needed to forget about something. I thought that maybe I could help you with that until.."

"Until what?" He cocked his head to the side and looked at me, like I didn't understand what he was getting at. After noticing my genuine confusion, he held my face and wiped the tears that formed there.

I was in shock. I didn't even know that I was crying. I bit my lip and cursed at myself internally, I went here to forget about today, but all I was doing was remembering. If I thought my situation five minutes ago was awkward, this was downright embarrassing. I rarely cried, I haven't cried since my mother's funeral, yet I was tearing up in front of a person I don't even know, and the most annoying part was he was staring at me with the utmost concern, almost like a lover would.

"I'm sorry," I sniffled as I used my hand to wipe my face. "This isn't what you were expecting was it?" I gave an empty laugh as I felt more tears fall.

I expected him to stop, to bolt out of the bathroom as quick as he can and leave me here in a blubbering mess. It would be easier on my pride if he did that. But to my surprise he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my forehead. An intimate gesture, albeit awkward considering we just met literally ten minutes ago. "Whatever you're thinking. Get it out of your head. Stop thinking about it, just forget," he pushed me back against the door forcefully, but with less vigor than before. He stared at me, fixated on my face, looking at me as if he was sorry, as if he actually cared.

"Forget about him," he said before his lips descended down on mine, slow and languid. Without thinking, I kissed him back, creeping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. After what seemed like forever, he pulled away suddenly (much to my disappointment) and sighed heavily. "I was going to probably give you the best lay of your life, but now doesn't seem like a good time," he smiled apologetically.

"Wait, what? So you're just going to leave me here?!"

"What? No, I just have something better planned," Kuronue winked as his hand snaked down to my hip. "Tell you what, I'll meet you outside after you get that fixed." He glanced at the front of my jeans and threw me an all knowing smirk, quickly placing a soft kiss next to my cheek before darting out of the bathroom.

And that is, unfortunately, how I ended up spending 10 minutes 'tending to my business' in the disabled stall at the nearest gay bar.

"You're idea for 'something better planned' was an ice cream shop?," I wanted to literally kill this man. First he has the audacity to leave me with blue balls in a bathroom stall, and then proceeds to drag me out to get ice cream.

"In my defense, they have some great pie here too," he deadpanned.

The blinking neon light that read "Henderson's Creamery" looked inviting enough as he pulled me inside. "How the hell is an ice cream store open at three in the morning?"

He shrugged. "Don't question it, haven't you ever had an ice cream craving in the middle of the night?"

"No," I responded irritably. I was annoyed, and tired, and I was most likely acting like the worlds biggest brat, and honestly, the fact that I didn't leave right then and there surprised even me.

Kuronue shook his head at me as he placed his order. He asked me if I wanted anything and I responded by angrily turning my heel and sitting at the nearest counter seats facing the front of the window. Kuronue came back with two cups of coffee, and two paper cups which contained what looked to be vanilla ice cream with some type of nut.

"Here," he handed me a spoon as he dug into his own frozen treat. "It's my favorite, they call it Secret Breakfast," he informed me with a spoonful already in his mouth.

I rolled my eyes and picked around my own cup, taking a sample and putting it in my mouth. Fuck. It was delicious.

"What's in it," I tried to make my voice sound as uninterested as possible.

"Bourbon, cornflakes, and walnuts. You think it doesn't work but it does? Doesn't it?" Kuronue just went from a sex fiend to a five year old, and I wanted to smack myself for being so close to having a one night stand with him.

We ate ice cream and sipped coffee in a comfortable silence. The few times I glanced over at him, he was staring outside the windows with his hand on his chin, watching the almost non existent traffic trickle by. I began to feel more irritated if that was remotely possible. He was supposed to be easy to read. He was supposed to be some smooth talking sleazy guy who liked to take advantage of men that were wasted out of their minds. He wasn't supposed to be someone who actually noticed the tears of the man he was about to suck off, he wasn't supposed to be this all around nice guy that took me out for dessert in the middle of the night like I was some old friend who begrudgingly tagged along.

Kuronue took the last sips of his coffee and stared at me with the corner of his eyes. "So what happened?"

"What do you mean what happened?" I dug the spoon at the bottom of my paper cup, playing around with the liquid remnants of the secret breakfast. Kuronue shook his head and swiveled to face me, turning my own chair until I was looking straight at him.

"Whose the fucker that broke your heart to the point where you felt the need to run into the Pink Flamingo in hopes to have a one night stand with the first person who shot you a smile and offered you a drink," he leaned forward a little, his elbows rested on his knees as he stared at me intently. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But for some reason I'm guessing you don't have anyone else to tell."

I grabbed the empty coffee cup, squeezing it hard enough to leave a small dent. "It was supposed to be a secret. After all, he was the CEO of our publishing company and I was just his subordinate," I began. "To make the story really short, after about a year of screwing around, I found out he as a wife and a kid. It was one of those large fancy book opening parties, I never go to those but I needed to drop off a couple of files to him and.. well the rest is really history," I suddenly felt as bitter as the coffee.

"Wow," Kuronue just stared at at me for a moment, then swiveled back to the window. "What a dick," he made it seem like I didn't get terribly crushed, like the worst Yomi did to me was accidentally break my stapler.

"He's not all that horrible though. He pulled me out of a really bad place, helped me get my life together. He made it so my life was built around him, to the point where I didn't even know how to function without him," I covered my face in my hands, too tired to try to deny how I was feeling. "It might sound pathetic but—"

"It's not pathetic." He placed his hand on my shoulder. "You should never apologize for loving someone unwillingly. And this guy might have done a lot for you or whatever, but anyone who screws around in a relationship is still considered a dick in my book."

I could feel myself trembling, all the stresses that lead up to this moment has finally been released. I didn't feel like crying anymore, yet I felt like I did just that. I felt refreshed, as if a wave of worry suddenly washed out on my shoulders. "Do you always do this?" His dark eyes stared at me for a moment in honest wonder.

"Do what?" His hand slipped from my shoulder and settled onto his lap. My left shoulder tingled slightly at the loss of contact.

"Play therapist at your local creamery." Kuronues face twisted into a smile as he shook his head. "You don't have to do all this. I would have slept with you regardless of what I was feeling," I admitted.

"You looked like you needed someone to talk to," he repeated. I sat in my seat staring outside the window, trying to ignore what he just said. I take a lot of pride in myself, more importantly, the way I act around people. For someone to just offhandedly read me like a book irked me to no extent. I didn't like getting close to anyone, I didn't want anyone to know me. Putting on an elaborate facade in front of a rather unsuspecting crowd was a talent that I never had to brush up on, the only person that managed to shatter that mask was Yomi, and even he had trouble doing that. I was far too sober to blame the alcohol for spilling everything I had to a complete stranger and that fact nearly threw me over the edge.

He drove a 1998 black Pontiac, it was in need of a good paint job, but other than that, Kuronue kept it in fairly good condition. "She's not the fanciest thing out there, but she gets the job done," he patted his car lovingly as he held the door open for me.

Kuronue leaned close to my ear and whispered, "Where to miss?" I almost whispered back "to the stars" but I was in no such mood to quote a 1997 classic.

"I don't care. Just don't take me to my house."

That place where all my belongings sat in was never my home to begin with, ever since last night, I lost that home I could go back to.

His car purred lightly as it came to life as he backed out of the parking lot and headed north. We hadn't said a word in a while and I was tired of the silence. "Do you have any music you could play?" My arms were still crossed protectively over my chest, and although I was already probably being a nuisance, I still felt the need to ask when I wanted to touch something.

"Sure, I just hope you like the Smiths. It's the last CD I put in there."

My ears were greeted to melodic strumming, and I turned my head just in time to hear Kuronue start singing along.

So please please please let me, let me, let me let me get what I want this time

His voice was deep and comforting and I found myself being lulled to sleep by the sound of the music with the company of his voice in the background. I had no idea where we were going or how far we were headed, hell, I don't even know if this man was even safe to be around, but I was too tired to care. I turned my head lazily to stare at my driver and realized this was the first time I actually got a good look at his face. Kuronue's ears were a little too big and his chin was very pointed, his hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and his appearance (although he was dressed quite nice) had a hint of ruggedness. But he had kind eyes and high cheekbones that framed his face quite nicely specially when he turned his profile at the correct angle. My eyelids felt heavier by the second and I felt them slipping closed. Before I drifted off into sleep, I could have sworn I felt Kuronue's hand stroke my hair.

"Hey, wake up. We're here," I felt a hand shake me until my eyes shot open. The interior lights were open and Kuronue was holding Great Expectations on one hand.

"Huh, how long were we driving?" I mumbled as I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes. My hair was probably a tangled and knotted mess right now but I had no energy to even try to comb my fingers through it.

"Believe it or not, you slept ten minutes before we arrived here. But you looked so peaceful that I let you sleep a bit longer."

"How long?" I yawned and brought up both my arms to stretch. My throat felt sticky from the ice cream and coffee I drank before and it left an unpleasant feeling on my tongue.

"An hour... Maybe two or three," he flipped a page from his book.

"I was asleep for three hours? What the hell were you doing in mean time?"

"Caught up on some much needed reading. I was going to let you sleep longer but then you would have missed the sunrise."

I peeked out the window to see that the sky was already a dark blue that slowly but surely began to lighten. We were in an empty parking lot that was situated in front of what seemed to be a large body of water. I opened the door and the smell of salt and sea instantaneously hit my nose.

"Come on, we can see it better if we go outside," Kuronue closed his book and stepped into the brisk air, climbing onto the hood of his car. He patted the seat next to him, motioning me to come over.

"The beach?" I asked as I climbed onto the top of his Pontiac. I was a lot calmer, a lot less snarky after my nap.

"I come here when I want to think," he placed his arm behind him and leaned back, his neck tilted up towards the sky as he drank in the sea breeze. The cool air whipped our hair back and I had to admit it felt a little good. I brought my legs up to my knees and huddled myself. It was cold, but not to the point of uncomfortable. "Here it comes," he pointed towards the ocean. I could see the darkness begin to fade, only to be replaced with a striking contrast of the brightest hues of orange and subtle blues. The head of the sun peeked out from the water, slowly lifting its way up to the sky. I've seen many sunrises in my lifetime, but never paid much attention to any of them. Now I was beginning to regret my decision. I looked at Kuronue only to see him staring out far into the horizon, where sea met sky. His gaze was distant, making me feel like I would have to somehow find a way to pull him out of his reverie to bring him back. He didn't sport his usual smile, but his face looked serene, content.

"Hey," I could feel his gaze on me but decided not to look "Thanks."

He didn't say anything for a while. We stared off to the sea for what seemed like forever, waiting until our clothes smelled of ocean and sand and until the sun warmed our bodies. No words needed to be exchanged, and in my own little way, even for a moment, I felt content as well.

Before Kuronue drove me home he asked for my phone.

"You aren't going to steal it are you?" I teased. He rolled his eyes and grabbed my phone, pressing the contact button and typing in his number. "You know this is a one time thing right? I usually don't go into strangers cars and watch the sun rise with them."

He shrugged and tossed my phone back to me "That's why it's up to you if you want to call me or not. I just want to make sure that you have my number if you ever need anyone to talk to." By the tone of his voice and from the look he gave me, he wasn't trying to be smooth. But he did look hopeful.

I stared at him for a moment, wondering if I should say anything, before deciding to get out of the car without a word. I didn't check if he looked at me or not as I entered my apartment, but part of me wished I did.

A/N: Thank you all for taking the time to read my work of fiction. Just a warning, this the pacing of this story is going to be a slow build up! Don't expect them to start necking by the second chapter!Also, it will be dealing with self-harm and a bunch of other heavy themes that I'll probably warn you later about.

Again, thanks for reading~