What if...
As he stood in the middle of the courtroom staring at the floor that was littered with Chief Taylor's blood stained shirt and belt he couldn't help but feel sick to his stomach. It was no secret that he had his issues with the chief but he had actually grown to like the man.. As he looks around the room his eyes land on Sharon and his heart breaks for her, this entire case has rattled her to the core but it is really hitting her hard right now. Andy carefully walks up to the row of seats where Sharon and Judge Richwood are currently sitting and talking. He's careful not startle them. "Uh, Sharon, Do you want to go wait in the judge's chambers for F.I.D.?"
She turned at the familiar sounding voice, "No Andy, I have to stay here at the scene of my action."
Sharon looked up at him. As he stood there before her he laid his hand on her shoulder, he replied, "Yes, Captain." Then he walked back over to where Provenza was standing.
"How's she doing Andy?" The older gentleman asked as he stood there observing their captain. They both look up to see the F.I.D officers walking into the room.
Sharon stood up to leave she first turned back and looked at Andy, then walked out with the other two officers to start her after action interview. He looked at his best friend; "to be honest I don't know how she is really," he sighed sadly.
They went about trying to figure how Dwight managed to shoot a courtroom full of people. They really couldn't stop to mourn the loss of Chief Taylor right now; they wanted to finish this case so that the people responsible for his death were brought to justice. The team had all gotten back to the murder room and began working on a theory. They all fell silent when they heard the familiar sound of heels clicking on the tile floor. All eyes looked to the Captain walking back into the murder room and straight to her office shutting the blinds.
The team all turned their attention back to their work. After several hours of going over every piece of evidence and talking to all the witnesses they all decide to call it an early night. By then Sharon had been in her office all afternoon. Only Detectives Sykes and Sanchez had gone in there when the mother of the suspect wanted to talk about her son. Andy stood next to the murder board staring at the closed blinds when Provenza nudged him, "You going to go check on her or not?"
He looked at his friend as he spoke, "I've learned when to and not to push Sharon. She will talk to me when she's ready."
Provenza stood by listening to him. "Well, I'm going to tell you like I told Rusty this morning, she's going to need both of you right now to be strong for her."
Andy was shocked by his concern for Sharon. He looked at his best friend, "You really care about her don't you?"
His friend and partner let out frustrated sigh, "Yeah I do, and there I said it. I've been in her shoes more than once and it's not a good place to be, Andy."
With that Provenza and the rest of the team left, leaving Andy standing in the middle of the room by himself. He walked toward her office just as he was about to reach the door it flew open and Sharon came running out. She was moving so fast that she never saw Andy standing in the doorway until she ran right into him. "Hey, where you going in such a hurry?" he asked as he stepped back away from her.
Sharon knew she was horrible at hiding her emotions especially from the man standing in front of her. She looked to see him smiling at her as he wiped her away. "I was on my way to the break room to get some tea."
He stepped closer to her as he whispered, "how about we go home?"
She turned and walked back into her office, as he shut the door with his foot he wrapped her in his arms and held her. After a few minutes Sharon stepped out of his embrace and walked around the desk grabbing her things, "that sounds good right now, Andy." She walked around him and started to open the door.
"Wait a minute, Sweetheart," he said and he reached for her again. Andy could see the hurt and anger on her face he knew her well enough to let her go and she would talk to him when she was ready to.
She stared at him for a moment, "I thought we were going home?" He didn't say anything as he followed her out of her office and down the hall to the elevator.
Once inside the elevator she leaned into his side as he wrapped his arm around her again. The drive to the condo was a quiet one; they were both too tired to think much less talk. When they arrived home she took her badge off and laid it next to his and his gun, her weapon was still with FID. At this point she didn't care if she got it back or not. Andy sat down on the sofa watching her every move as she made them some tea. Sharon walked back into the living room as he continued to watch her every step, she sat down on the sofa next to him. She still hadn't said much since they walked in. As she sat on the sofa holding the cup of tea in her hands, he knew better than to press her. Hopefully she would come to him if she needed him. "Andy," he looked up when he heard her calling his name. "Does it ever get easier? Shooting someone I mean."
When he turned to face her he noticed that she was crying again. "Sweetheart, I can't really answer that question." He spoke as he wiped the tears off of her cheeks with his fingers. He cupped her chin with his hand; "All I can tell you is that I will be here for you anytime you need me." She smiled sadly at him as she moved closer to him, setting her cup of tea on the coffee table and laying her head on his shoulder while she cried.
After several minutes of sitting in the silence it was interrupted by the front door opening and Rusty walking in. "Mom, Are you ok?" he asked as he rushed over to his mother on the sofa.
Sharon hugged her son tightly as she tried to control her emotions. "Yes, I'm fine," she spoke as she felt her son start relax a little.
"Thank god."
She smiled sadly at him. "Rusty, I saw you a few hours ago Sweetheart nothing's changed since then," she said as she moved back over to Andy's waiting arms.
He watched her as she settled against Andy. "I know, but you seemed so upset and…" he stopped as he watched her face; she was horrible at hiding her emotions especially from him.
"Rusty, she's just shook up right now, it's been a very tiring, emotional day for all of us." He listened intently as Andy spoke.
"Yeah, I guess you're right Andy." He said as he stood up and started towards his room stopping midway, "uh, Mom." Sharon looked up when he called her. "I'm here if you need me too." Rusty walked back over to the sofa as he bent down to hug his mother he whispered in her ear, "I love you." He held her for a moment.
As he walked away she said, "I love you too, Rusty."
He looked at her, "I know Mom," and he walked into his bedroom leaving them alone again.
She sat up on the sofa and looked at Andy, "What if I hadn't shot Dwight today? Things could have ended so differently," she said as her voice began to crack.
He held her hands as she looked down at the floor, "Sharon, Sweetheart look at me." She looked up to see him looking at her with misty eyes. "I know you didn't want to shoot him but you had no other choice he had a gun pointed at you and did what any of the rest of us would have done to protect ourselves and the other's in the courtroom."
She stood up and started pacing around the room, his eyes watching her the entire time. "Why did he have to shoot Chief Taylor and all of those other innocent people?"
He walked over to her and wrapped her in his arms. "No one knows why. It's something that we may never be able to fully answer." She buried her face into the crook of his neck while he held her. "You only did what you had to do to stop him from killing anyone else.
Sharon looked up to see him staring at her, "it doesn't make it any easier Andy. I took a human life today and I can't wrap my mind around it. How can someone be so angry and so evil to shoot innocent people in a courtroom?" she asked as she started pacing again.
Andy watched her, "I have no idea. You and I both know that there are some evil people in this world and it's our jobs to put them in jail."
She stopped at his words she knew he was right. He stood there while she processed what he said. "You're right about that Andy."
He watched her facial expression change again; she looked so defeated and tired. Andy smiled at her as he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, gently kissing the knuckles on her hand. "How about we leave all of this out here and go to bed? We are both exhausted." She wrapped an arm around him and walked into the bedroom. Once they are both settled into bed Sharon curled up next to him with her head resting on his bare chest. He watched her as she drifted off to sleep. Andy held her as he drifted to sleep himself.
Several hours later he was awaken to the sounds of what sounded like her fighting with someone. "Sharon. Sharon, Sweetheart wake up," he gently touched her shoulder as he spoke trying to wake her without startling her. After a few minutes she started to open her eyes and she reached for him and held on to him for dear life. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he could feel her shaking in his arms as he is able to reach over and turned on the lamp next to the bed.
He turned back to see her staring at him. "Andy, I had a horrible nightmare."
Andy moved closer to her, "it sounded like it," he answered as she settled against his chest again. "You want to talk about it?"
Rising up on her elbow, she studied his features for a moment. "It's late and we can talk about it later," Sharon tiredly said as she started to lay back down. Andy took her hand and moved her up to sit next to him against the headboard.
Just then they heard a knock on the door, "Mom, you ok?"
She heard Rusty ask from the other side of the door. "You can come in, Rusty."
He quietly made his way to just inside the door. He very rarely came into this mother's room and he really didn't since Andy moved in. "Yes, Rusty she's fine," Andy spoke softly as Sharon gave her son a reassuring smile.
"Okay, I just heard her crying and it sounded like she was fighting with someone." He said concerned about his mom.
"I'm sorry you heard that Rusty," she said as she hung her head.
His heart broke for her, "Mom, it's ok. Just try and get some rest." Rusty walked to her side of the bed giving her another hug. He wasn't usually this emotional but it had been extremely hard day for all of them and he knew that she needed it and like Andy he would do anything and everything to make her happy and feel protected.
Once he was out of the room, Andy wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. As he kissed the top of her head, he was met with a low hum. "How about we try and get some sleep again?"
Sharon raised her head and their eyes met. "Sounds good to me," she said as she began to yawn again.
As she got comfortable next to him again, Andy tightened his hold on her as he spoke, "I hope you know that I will always be here for you anytime you need me."
She looked up at him as the tears fell once more, "I know, Andy. Thank you for never giving up on me. I love you more than you know and I am thankful to have you to lean on during the rough times as well as the good times."
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Here is this strong, intelligent, beyond beautiful woman feeling so unsure of herself and questioning just how strong she actually is. He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her into a gentle kiss. Andy turned off the lamp and they started to drift off to sleep, both feeling better for having been there for each other and ready to face whatever life threw at them.