A/N: This is the first chapter, because I wanted to give you all an idea of the things I've been working on instead of my other stories. The rest of this tale will be a long time in coming, however, because I want to finish it before I post anymore. I'm only posting this chapter to let my followers know that they have a LONG wait for my other stories.

Anyway, Percy is incredibly OOC in this. That's sort of the point.

It's weird not seeing the font in purple...

One: Percy Is Annoyed.

I'm known as the prat. The boy with the stick up his arse. The boy who cares more about his reputation than his family. Prefect Percy.

Scoff. Yeah, like THAT'S true.

Honestly? Why the hell would I put my reputation higher than my family on the hypothetical priority list I just made up a second ago? It's ridiculous. Do you take me for an idiot?

Snort. Yes. You do. Don't deny it.

Which is just dumb. I'm not an idiot. You are.

Why, you ask? Because only idiots would completely disregard the fact that I'm a Weasley. And everyone knows nothing comes between a Weasley and his family.

NOTHING. Not even food. Or Quidditch. Which, if you aren't a hermit – and I'm assuming you aren't because you're reading this and how the hell would a hermit even get a hold of my rant thing anyway and good God this is horrible grammar but I digress – you'd know that every blood-born Weasley has a huge appetite and an insane love of Quidditch. Even the girls.

Even me.

Gasp. WHAT? Percy Weasley likes food and Quidditch? Percy Weasley can eat as much as his siblings and is a brilliant Chaser? What has the world COME TO?

I'll tell you what the world has come to. It's come to REALITY.

I mean, really. How oblivious ARE you lot? Not noticing my appetite? Or the fact that I gave up my spot on the Quidditch team for my little brothers? (How did THAT happen, you ask? Because of a certain chain of events that I'll explain to you now: 1. My family is poor, which leads to 2. My family cannot afford a Quidditch broom for all of us, which leads to 3. The twins, who share everything, have to share a broom, which leads to 4. They can't both play on the Gryffindor Quidditch team while sharing a broom, which leads to 5. Me giving up my broom so they can play together because I am an AMAZINGLY UNSELFISH brother and they are UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BRATS who 6. Refuse to give my broom back even though I've EXPLICITLY stated that they can't use it if they're going to continue to be OBNOXIOUS PAINS IN THE ARSE. Ahem. Moving on.)

Now, I won't deny that I want good grades. But if I had to choose between good grades or keeping my family safe, I'd rather my family be safe.

Despite the fact that my siblings all suck. Well, not Bill and Charlie. They're great. No, it's all my younger siblings that are completely insufferable. Bill and Charlie are the only ones who seem to remember that I'm not a stuck-up, goody-goody prick. It's like Fred and George have completely forgotten that I'm the one who always covered for them. (Granted, I used it as blackmail to get them to stop pranking me...) Or like Ron has forgotten that I'm the one who taught him how to fly a broom. (Well, taught him how to fly, but not how to land. Now, THAT was amusing.) Or like Ginny has forgotten that I'm the one who teased her the most. (Come to think of it, I was mean as an eight year old...)

But yeah. Suppose it doesn't make sense that I'm a prefect and I couldn't really care less about the rules. Well, yeah, I don't want to get in trouble (simply because it takes longer to deal with a punishment than it does to just avoid getting in trouble in the first place and I can't be bothered to talk my way out of something) and I'll report anyone else who isn't following the rules, but that's just because in my experience, every time I don't report them, I get in trouble.

Silence. Ah.

FUCK.

Just realised Mum might be reading this and I'm swearing worse than Charlie when he's drunk. AND I'm insulting my siblings... She'll kill me...

…

...Ah, well. Too late now, I suppose.