Like Diamonds and Glass
Disclaimer: The following is a work of fan-fiction. I claim no ownership over the characters therein. No copyright infringement intended.
Mitchsen Prompt: Sometimes, even the toughest girl break, and when that happen, Aubrey has to put aside her distaste to help.
A/N: Just a little Mitchsen written to fulfill a prompt. Hopefully you like it. As always your feedback is always appreciated. Leave a review here or you can talk to me on Tumblr, same username. Enjoy.
Beca fancies herself like a diamond, no not insanely beautiful and coveted by woman everywhere but tough and impossible to crack. She's tough, she's always been tough, that's her thing. She was tough when she broke her leg after she fell out of a tree at 6, she was tough when she had to have a surgery when she was 12, and she was toughest of all when her parents fought all the time and inevitably divorced. Never let anyone see you cry, that's Beca's motto.
Sometimes though, the pressure is just too much and cracks start to show. A few quickly brushed away tears at practice, excuses made for skipping practice, screaming matches you wouldn't otherwise engage in, little cracks that just get bigger and bigger as you try to keep up the façade. Beca couldn't help it, she was still a tough girl but even the toughest girls break sometimes.
4 o'clock, she should be getting to practice but she just doesn't know if she wants to today. There are probably a million other things she'd rather do than listen to Aubrey berate them about their lack of co-ordination, and a million other things she needs to get done. She's only got a few minutes to decide, she's about to walk past their rehearsal space, its either go in there or walk back to her dorm. She goes it, what the hell; if she doesn't listen to Aubrey in there she can expect an even bigger lecture about not showing up to practice.
Luckily they're practicing "The Sign," again, at least Beca knows the choreography to this like the back of her hand. At least she thought she did, until she trips over Fat Amy's foot and lands face first on the floor. Of course she falls, what could possibly make things worse but falling flat on your face in front of Aubrey, in front of the rest of the Bellas. Aubrey doesn't say anything though, doesn't yell, doesn't even so much as look at her for more than 10 seconds. Fat Amy helps her up, "sorry shorty, are you alright?"
That's a complicated question, physically yes, Beca is alright, the fall didn't hurt anything but her pride. "Yeah, I'm fine," she huffs, getting up and dusting off her pants. Her shiny exterior though is cracked, and perhaps a little hint of no, I'm not alright slips out in her answer. Fat Amy doesn't question though, just smiles, one of those smiles that screams feel better because that person knows you're totally lying about being fine.
Another hour, no more incidents thankfully, Beca even manages to get all her backing vocals right this time. Finally she can go back to her dorm, she wishes now that she had walked past the rehearsal space a few hours ago. It would have saved her the bruised ankle, and stopped her from letting out the exasperated sigh that said anything but I'm fine. Hopefully no one noticed, more importantly hopefully no one cares if they did. Someone not caring; that was always something Beca had been able to count on. Well perhaps it wasn't that people didn't care, just that they were too busy dealing with their own crap. That seemed to be the case today, no one bothered her after practicing, packing their stuff away in their bags and exiting the rehearsal space. No one bothered her that is, except Aubrey and anytime Aubrey bothered with her it was not a good sign.
"I'm not in the mood for a lecture right now," Beca quipped. There never really was a time when Beca was in the mood for one of Aubrey's lectures, but right now, she definitely wasn't.
"Okay, ummm, I actually just came over to ask if you're okay."
The blonde's words startled Beca. Aubrey wanted to know if she was okay, likely story. The only things Aubrey cared about were a capella, winning, looking hot, winning and a capella. At least that was the impression Beca got, its not like she spent any time outside of Bellas' rehearsals trying to get to know the other woman. All Aubrey ever seemed to offer her was hostility and a harsh look. Now though, she was asking her if she was okay, unbelievable.
"I'm fine, umm, thanks." Aubrey may be a pain, but she had been nice enough to ask, the least Beca could do was thank her.
"Are you sure? You seem off lately, and I've seen a few tears here and there. I know you're a bad ass or whatever, but if there's something wrong, you can tell me."
Tell you, she must be kidding. Aubrey was probably the last person Beca could fathom wanting to talk to about her issues. Still though, she was caught, Aubrey had seen the cracks, however small, she'd noticed.
"I'm fine." I'm lying.
"Beca, you're talking to me remember, the girl who vomits under pressure. I can tell when someone's about to crack."
That's right, Aubrey, Aubrey cracked under pressure and couldn't hide it thanks to unfortunate genetics. She should have known a girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders would notice someone else with the same fate.
"I'm just…"
If she told Aubrey, if she let her in she wasn't tough, how could she be tough when someone who doesn't even like her could so easily get her to open up. Still though, she needed to talk to someone or the cracks would get too big to mend.
"Everything is falling apart," Beca started, "I'm failing most of my classes, I can't seem to make a mix to save my life anymore, my father's found out and he's on my case, I can't get that Treblemaker dude Jesse to leave me alone, and I'm not even good at this whole a capella thing, the one thing I have to do to get my ticket out of here. I've got all this pressure weighing down on me and I can't think of anything that will relieve it."
Once Beca started spilling her feelings, she couldn't stop. Once stuff started slipping out the cracks, it was over. Aubrey knew everything that was troubling her now. Beca just hoped she wouldn't hold it against her. Hopefully she wouldn't yell at her for bringing all this baggage to the Bellas and throwing them off or something. That would be ridiculous, but Aubrey was usually ridiculous. This moment of weakness she was clearly having couldn't possible last.
Tears, dripping down her face, damnit, the one thing that could make this situation worse. Tears, the one thing that could make her even more vulnerable in front of the last person in the world she wanted to cry in front of.
She was shocked then when Aubrey offered her a tissue from her pocket, even more so when she felt an arm around her back. Comforting her, Aubrey was comforting her. If she wasn't so upset she'd probably have some snarky comment to make about the situation, but as it stood, it was welcome.
"Beca, I'm sorry if all my yelling and toughness is contributing to this in any way. I'm sure it is, I really shouldn't be so hard on you guys. I guess it never occurred to me that people have other things in their lives than a capella," Aubrey kept her arm around Beca as she made herself just as vulnerable, adding "its all I have."
"Yeah, well, Bellas is probably the least aggravating part of my life these days, at least its fun," Beca couldn't believe the words herself, but the smile on Aubrey's face told her the admission was welcome. "I just wish I could get back on track in my classes, I wouldn't mind staying at Barden if I was actually doing well and didn't have to listen to my father's lectures. They're worse than yours."
Aubrey laughed, it was clear she knew her lectures were over the top. Perhaps she'd tone that down if it meant taking some pressure off the other girls, she really hated to see any of them this upset and overwhelmed. Winning was important, but not at this cost.
"I could tutor you," Aubrey spoke up suddenly after a few minutes of silence between the ladies.
Beca raised an eyebrow, "you'd do that?"
"Of course I would. Like I said, I know what its like to be under so much pressure, to feel like everything in your world is crumbling down around you. I don't want to see your situation get any worse, I'd like to help make it better if I can," Aubrey was being sincere, Beca could tell, it was the softest expression she'd ever seen on the blonde's face.
"I thought you hated me."
Aubrey frowned, she didn't really mean to come off as abrasive as she apparently did, especially not towards any of the Bellas. "Not you, just your attitude. I hated that you didn't care and your apparent disdain for well, everything. Its clear that I was wrong about you though, you do care, you just need a helping hand."
"I don't hate your either," Beca said sheepishly after Aubrey's admission. Aubrey frustrated her beyond belief, but there wasn't anything inherently detestable about the woman.
"Well good. What subjects do you need the most help with? I've taken a lot of different courses. Just please don't say math."
Beca laughed, "nope, I've been avoiding math myself."
The two women walked out of the rehearsal space, both smiling a lot brighter than they had been when they walked in earlier. Aubrey agreed to help Beca every night after Bellas' practice, and even cancel one Bellas' practice a week until Beca was caught up with her course work and passing. Beca told her that wasn't necessary, but really, she needed all the help she could get.
Aubrey helped her with all her subject, and really, to Beca's surprise she was a good tutor. No over the top yelling and lectures when she didn't get something right, that was a bonus. She was sweet really, trying to explain things to her in terms she'd understand. It helped a lot too, as her grades started to get better, and her dad was a lot happier with her these days. She started making mixes again too, she all of the sudden had the inspiration again. When they world wasn't crashing down on her, she was able to create with fresh ears. Aubrey even encouraged her to tell Jesse she wasn't interested, and to her surprise, he understood. He thanked her for being honest with him and not wasting his time. She even started to see how she was actually pretty decent at the whole a acapella thing. Perhaps Aubrey complimenting her vocals and her improved choreography helped with that, a lot. Things were looking up, all thanks to Aubrey and that was something Beca could never have imagined no matter how hard she tried.
Study date at the café on the corner, I'll buy. Beca sent the text early on Saturday morning. It was the weekend; she didn't really need to study today. Still though, she invited Aubrey out anyway. It was weird, the more time she spent around the other woman, the more she wanted to spend time with her. A few weeks prior she could barely fathom the idea of seeing Aubrey outside of practice, now, just seeing her at practice wasn't an option.
Sure, I'll be there in 10. See you soon :)
Beca was very clearly bookless sitting in the café. Not exactly ready for studying. Aubrey noticed this immediately on entrance.
"Where are your books Bec?"
"I thought we could just have coffee today, and talk. No studying. I hope that's okay."
"Yeah that's cool, you could have just invited me to coffee," Aubrey teased, "you didn't have to lure me here under false pretenses."
Beca blushed; she had said it was going to be a study date. Maybe now it just looked like she wanted to hang out with Aubrey, but was that so bad.
They talked and laughed, about the usual stuff, just no talk of literature or history, a welcome change. Beca liked to read, but she wasn't sure how many more times she could listen to Aubrey explain the themes of a book or play. She was a good tutor, Beca was just bored of talking about school work all the time. She liked it when they would verge off into other topics. They talked about movies, music, hobbies, and more often than Beca would expect, themselves. Imagine, Beca opening up to Aubrey even more so than she already had, and even stranger, Aubrey reciprocating. She was an only child, never close with either of her parents, always loved music, came to Barden to get away from home, wants to be a teacher, and Beca could go on and on. There is so much she knows about Aubrey now that she never would have if she hadn't cracked, just a little.
"Ugh, he was definitely the worst boyfriend ever," Aubrey finished her story about some doofus she dated in high school. He apparently told everyone about her stress vomiting, and stood her up a total of five times. Beca wasn't sure why Aubrey didn't ditch him before the second time; hopefully she'd learned a lesson since then.
"Aubrey…" Beca started cautiously. She wasn't sure about what she was about to say. It had popped into her head moments ago, and she was fighting the urge to blurt it out. "would you like to go on some time?"
Aubrey looked confused momentarily before realization took over and her lips turned upward, a smile evident on her face. "Like on a date?"
"Yes."
Aubrey laughed, causing the brunette to frown. It was one thing to be rejected but to be laughed at was even worse. Aubrey noticed the look though and grabbed her hand. "Sorry Beca, I didn't mean to laugh. I just can't believe you just asked me out."
"Yeah, sorry, momentary lapse in judgement." Beca couldn't believe she had been so stupid. Aubrey had offered to help her, not date her.
"No, don't be. My answer is yes. Yes I would absolutely like to go on a date with you some time. Sometime soon, I hope," the smile returned to Beca's face.
"I think I can arrange that. How about tonight?"
"Tonight is good."
Beca was going on a date with Aubrey, no one would believe that without seeing it. Even so, she was excited. Maybe being like the hardest substance in the world wasn't exactly the best thing in life. Maybe Beca could stand to be a little bit softer, a little bit more willing to let cracks show. Perhaps she's more like glass than diamonds, hard, though breakable with the chance to be fixed.