Hello everyone, sorry for not updating the rest of my stories, but I needed to get some things out of my system, and I am currently in a writer block on most of my stories. I will try to write them up sooner or later, but right now, I just put this story I thought it would be funny to see. Just enjoy the mishaps.

- "Come on! We must reach the hill if we want to ambush them!" – A cry could be heard in the forest, as I ran along my friends. I was at a forest, plenty of hills and some ruins to top the scenery, doing some LARP. I was a battle mage, with a shield in my left arm and a sword in my right hand, and as further protection leather armour. I was a bit overweight, and clearly not someone who would want to exercise so much, but in this case I was having a lot of fun with my friends. Not always I could enjoy fighting without any worries, and I needed some way to release the stress of studying for exams at the university.

- "Ok, we reached the position. Now, the formation." – Pedro said. He was the friend who convinced me to participate in this, and I was glad I followed him. As for the moment, we already fought some people, and beat them without taking damage. I was glad that I could use the shield, otherwise I would be already beaten and out of the game. Pablo was taller than me, slender with dark long hair and using a plate armour with a shield and a sword. We were a total of eight people, counting me of course.

- "We will form a shield wall. Samael, Varick, Ingrid and me will be there. The rest will cover our rear and flanks." – Pedro; also called Ulric on game, ordered, and I put myself in my position. My real name was Markus, but while we were on game, I had to go with the name of my character. I sighed, trying to relax a bit while I was thinking on how I would have to fight, but then, I felt the nature calling in my rear, and wanting an out immediately.

- "Guys… I have to go to the toilet." – I said, a bit ashamed of it, but they nodded and looked at me with some humour in their faces. – "Go on, we will signal them to wait." – Adrian, the one who was Varick and with the plate armour too, told me, and I sighed happily as I started running toward one of the special toilets they had along the camp. The forest and the ruins were really good for this type of battles, and they reminded of the scenes of Amon Hen of the Lord of the Rings, so I was happy to even think of the battle.

I reached the toilets, and after some pained minutes, I was feeling refreshed and prepared to fight. I started going again to the place, and had to go by a clear part of the forest, but then, I watched as some strange people were running… well, maybe they were people of the LARP dressed as Uruk-Hai, I could see an orc among the players after all. But then, I started to hear a sound which I never heard before, a sound that resounded in my heart. I ran toward it, and then I saw in front of me one of the Uruk-Hai, with a sword in his hand and going to cut me down like a log.

I ducked to avoid it, and then I pushed him, making him hit a tree with his head and fell limp. I could see how his neck was put in a strange way, and my blood ran cold. I killed someone! I was going to go to prison, or worse… but as I tried to calm myself, I could see that the man looked nothing like it… For a moment, I thought that it was a very good makeup, but when I tried to remove it… it didn't remove. It was real… a real Uruk-Hai, and there were a lot of them here.

I gulped, and I could hear sounds of fighting and cries of hurt people. My friends probably were fighting too, trying to save themselves, but probably they were a lot more prepared than me… most of them were with plate armour while I only had leather, which in the end it didn't protect anything. I left the sword I had; as it would be useless in this situation, and tried to grab the sword of the Uruk-Hai, having problems to lift it, but it would have to work, and changed the shield of the one the Uruk-Hai had, having some troubles to remove it from his arm and then put it on mine.

I started to run, watching how a lot of Uruk-Hai were running toward one place… and my memory clicked. This place was exactly like Amon-Hen, so maybe… - "No fucking way…" - I said to myself, as I ran as fast as I could. If this is exactly like that, I could already think on how it would develop, and it was clear that it would be a very grim situation. My friends and I weren't prepared for this, we only wanted to do some battles, imitations and that sort of things, no trying to survive right now. With the amount of Uruk-Hai in the place, it would be very easy to be overrun by them.

As I ran, I had to stop as I was watching something impossible… I could see how a man was fighting with a sword, blowing a horn with the same sound I heard before, and some little people throwing rocks toward the Uruk-Hai with very good accuracy. It was very clear that they were Boromir, Merry and Pippin… and at the back of the horde of Uruk-Hai, I could see Lurtz tensing the bow, pointing it toward Boromir. I ran, and then I put the shield up, surprising Boromir for a moment, before I felt a big impact on the shield making me go to the ground.

I rolled, as I got up and put myself again, feeling two more impacts in the shield, and the fight Boromir put toward the Uruk-Hai intensified, but the wave of Uruk-Hai went through us, grabbing Merrin and Pippin while I was merely using my shield to avoid the swords and protecting Boromir from the arrows which came from Lurtz. The flow of the fight went through, and I couldn't even guess how I ended up in front of Lurtz.

I put my shield up again, as I watched how a sword came toward my head. I had to tumble a bit after that hit, but I could put again my shield up to avoid a second hit, but the impact made me go to the floor in a heap and the shield flew out of my arm, leaving me without any effective protection. I grabbed the sword I had with me with my two hands, and I used it to parry a lethal blow as I rolled to pull myself up. My heart was pounding hard, and I was so scared but I couldn't even think of running or another thing to save myself.

Lurtz came toward me again, and I put again the sword in the way, but the strength behind the blow sent me flying toward a tree, leaving my back in the tree and the pain shot through my body. I closed my eyes for a moment, before I opened them again to see how a sword came toward my head. I ducked, and that sword embedded on the tree. I rolled and I could see Lurtz trying to remove the sword from the tree.

I made a war cry, or a desperate one, as I put up the sword I had in my hands with all my strength, and made it descend toward the skull of Lurtz. I could hear a sickening crunch and the resistance of the sword as it continued until it stopped in somewhere between the chest and its side… and I dropped the sword, making the body of Lurtz go down and embedding the sword more.

I could only watch the body, and my hands now coated in blood. I felt sick, and threw up the lunch without any announcement. I only wanted to have fun fighting with enough security that only bruises would be present, and ended up fighting in a scene of the damn Lord of the Rings film for my dear life. And I didn't know about my friends… Were they alive, dead…? The sounds of battle weren't anymore, and steps could be heard in my direction.

- "You saved my life. I am in your debt." – A voice said, and I turned, seeing Boromir looking at me with a solemn face. I could vaguely remember that people from medieval ages were always going on about honor, and I could see that now. I merely nodded, and I could even vaguely feel that I was kneeling on the ground, shaking like a leaf. I could hear more people coming, but I couldn't even move, I was feeling like this was a nightmare.

- "Markus!" – I heard, and felt someone trying to make me get up. I could see Pedro and Adrian looking at me, with obvious dents in their armour but otherwise fine, with worried faces. I could see the rest of my friends, and I started to cry in relief, as everyone were alive. Boromir was watching but stayed silent and took a look at the direction which went the Uruk-Hai with the hobbits.

Everything was a blur afterward, as I went toward a special medical area of the place, where there were a lot of people hurt. I couldn't see a body, so luckily no one was killed, but after everything I went through, I was only willing to comply. There were a lot of bandages on most people, and I could feel how I was being given the notice that I was one of the "lucky ones" which were free to go home as I wasn't hurt enough to go to the hospital.

I sat on one of the benches prepared for the people to eat, and tried to make sense, but that wasn't on the plan as I saw Boromir going toward me. – "I am Boromir, son of Denethor, Steward of Gondor." – He said, extending his hand toward me. I grabbed his hand, trying to reciprocate the gesture but I had to try two times until I got my voice again.

- "I am Markus…" - I said weakly, and Boromir nodded, sitting beside me. I put my hands again in my face, closing my eyes as I tried to rationalize how the hell I had the fucking Boromir here, and possibly Merrin and Pippin lost somewhere along a big horde of Uruk-Hai. Possibly they would be killed on sight by the government, but maybe they went to the universe of where they came from, as I couldn't hear more panic shouting and no news about that horde.

- "Where are we? This is no place I can relate to Middle Earth." – Said Boromir, and I could feel a bit better as I had something to do… even if it was to deal with a supposedly fictional character from a book and films who should have died instead of lived as I put myself between Lurtz and him.

- "Well, this world is called Earth, and… well, most explanations would work better if I had the books to show you and so on… The only thing I want to do right now is go home…" - I said, trying to figure how I could explain everything, but at the end, I was at a dead end, as everything would be questioned, and I needed to have some facts before I could deal with everything else… and it didn't help that I had to go to class tomorrow.

- "I guess that you should come with me." – I said, and the look of Boromir was one that told me I would have to fight a bit to convince him to accede this, but at least he wasn't going to put a physical fight… I doubted I could win that one without kicking in the nuts.

- "I couldn't importunate you anymore. I have to go after the hobbits, they are in danger and I have to look after my comrades." – Boromir said, but before he could say anymore, I put my hand in his mouth and looked at him angrily, as I was tired and didn't want to deal with anything at the moment, or at least having a discussion about something that I was right.

- "Look, I am tired, wanting to go home after a fucking battle for my life, and you have no idea of where to look after them. So you are coming with me so we can plan better… and take a damn shower, you stink!" – I said, afterward I started to smell something horrid. Damn, I forgot that in the medieval era the part of taking care of hygiene was something overlooked at most except for some people.

- "What's a shower?" – Boromir ended up asking, and I put my hands again in my face with a groan. Yes, I opened the Pandora's Box right away… - "Later…" - I said, not knowing what I would even do after all of this. – "Just follow me, and please stay silent…" - I ended up pleading as I watched my friends coming toward me, without their armour and looking battered and ready to go home.

- "We are going to go now. Do you need us to take you home?" – Adrian asked, while making motions for me to approach to remove my armour… I forgot that I was still wearing it. I felt the weight being removed, and my shoulders relax, as well as the arms and legs started to feel the cool air after removing the protections from there. I sighed in relief as I relaxed a bit more.

- "Yeah, and this guy needs one too if you don't mind. He lives near me." – I said, and they agreed readily enough, as they wanted to go home and just forget everything about this day. I had to discuss a bit more with Boromir to follow me, as he watched in puzzlement the car, before entering at my silent insistence and then in amazement at how everything looked. Luckily, everyone was just dealing with their own demons of the battle and didn't take notice of this.

Then, we reached my home, a nice apartment where I was paying a rent from a partial job I was doing. After some more prodding to enter the elevator; which didn't feel well to Boromir to be in a reduced space, we reached the door and I opened it, making Boromir enter before I closed the door behind me, grateful to be at home right now.

- "This is so different from Middle Earth. What was the contraption we used to travel here? And the one we used to get to this height? And what's a shower?" – Boromir asked, reminding me that he was here. I groaned and put again my hands in my face, something I was feeling I would do a lot of times while dealing with this…