sunsets

by talcumpowder

Roxas' best 2.5 seconds every day were at sunset. Axel/Roxas, au involving bad mythology.

Pre-Notes: To be perfectly honest, I mostly hate this fic. I never want to see it again. Also: RIKU IS LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE. Obviously Riku = important to plot =/= character Reili writes well. I'm sure I could do it if I tried, but I didn't feel like trying.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Or Les Misérables. Or Listerine. Or anything, really.
Summary: Roxas' best 2.5 seconds every day were at sunset.

---

sunsets.
"I'll be waiting by the sunset."

Roxas sat on the same hill he did everyday. He faced the same direction, sat on the same patch of grass, and was more or less always the very picture of upset. The sun was made the same nasty, bright colours across the sky. Roxas scowled.

Muses, he chided himself, do not fall in love with the sun god. They do not sit on the same hill every day for four years to see said sun god for two-point-five seconds. Especially not when they know that a day has 86,400 seconds in it and there is absolutely no reason why those 3,650 seconds of the last four years should be any better than the other 126,144,000 seconds. Or something like that.

And that was how bad it had gotten. Roxas had to resort to numbers and calculations to remind himself that this was not logical. Ah! There he was. And now he's gone. Great! Best two-point-five seconds of Roxas' day and that was really sad. Because it wasn't like Roxas had a crappy life or anything, oh no. Roxas was the valedictorian of his class, had a nice, stable job that he actually liked and great friends.

But noooooo, Roxas' best two-point-five seconds were every day at sunset. Because the sun god is, like, really fucking hot and man his speaking skills were really degrading. Since when did English majors say really fucking hot to describe the sun god? Since they started, um, what was the word? Oh yes. Pining. Since they started pining over said sun god.

Because they'd met in a bar. Okay, well, a kiddie day park that had a bar in it for some weird reason. Roxas always wondered why there weren't more drunk teens wandering around with alcohol that close. He also really, really wondered why they let him work bar for five years when he'd only been legal for four. You just don't question things like that though, because then you uncover government flaws and conspiracies and things that Roxas just did not want to deal with.

But back to the bar. Five years ago the sun god allegedly royally pissed off Zeus and was sentenced to a year on Earth. Something about how that would teach him to appreciate his duties or something equally stupid. It ended up being more of an exercise in partying with the demigods than an exercise in responsibility though. Which led them to Roxas, because the bar-that-was-not in the kiddie day park was the cheapest place to get drinks before three in the morning. Or some shit.

And so he had politely served the god and his party of friends, in order to keep his job, but slipped a lot less alcohol in their drinks than he could have. They didn't seem to notice, acting just as drunk as any other shmuck to walk through the bar-that-was-not. Roxas had sighed and cleaned up after them until his shift ended. They still hadn't left, but there was a credit card to their name. It wasn't his fault if they drank inordinate amounts and couldn't pay. That was their problem.

And, just as he was hanging up his apron and Kairi came in for her shift, the one with the hair like flames stood and sauntered over to Roxas nonchalantly. He grabbed Roxas' wrist, took out a marker and wrote a number down. Roxas remembered staring at it blankly and looking back up at the red-head.

"Whoops, my bad. Forgot to put my name down."

And two minutes later, Roxas was sitting next to them and quietly sipping a glass of orange juice. It was getting dusky out. For the second time that day, the red-haired stranger grabbed his wrist. He was dragged outside and deposited on a small hill that offered a startling view of the sunset.

"Do you like sunsets?"
Roxas shrugged, "Sunsets are sunsets."
"What if," the stranger drawled, "I told you I was the god of the sun?"
Roxas snorted ever-so slightly, "Would you honestly expect me to believe you?"
"Yes, because it's perfectly true."
"Gods don't," Roxas said pointedly, "write phone numbers down onto the wrists of people they don't know and forget to leave a name."

Thoroughly annoyed, Roxas stood up and started walking back to his car. Aforementioned stranger followed him, which only made Roxas walk faster. Stranger grabbed Roxas' wrist for the third time that day, and spun him around. He pulled out the marker again and scribbled something above the string of digits.

"Name's Axel," and the redhead had the gall to smirk here, "got it memorised? Don't hesitate to give me a call if you're ever bored."
Roxas scowled, "Go find yourself a whore, you stupid sunuvabitch!"

And with a slightly dramatic approach, Roxas kneed "Axel" in the balls and drove off in his tiny, red Honda Civic Coupe. Fifteen and a half minutes later, Roxas was furiously scrubbing at the most annoying string of seven numbers he had ever encountered and the name that went along with it. A minute of scrubbing later, a very loud and colourful string of curses rang out in his tiny apartment.

"That stupid fucking sunuvabitch! He used a fucking permanent marker!"

---

And so, the next two weeks passed much in the same manner. Roxas would politely serve the extremely deluded, so called "sun god" and his friends. Every day, said delusional person would trace over the number on Roxas' arm with permanent marker. Go knows where he got it from.

Then, every night when Roxas got home, he would scrub it off and let out a long string of curses when his skin was rubbed raw. Somewhere around day 9, Roxas stopped scrubbing because it hurt too much and just attempted to wash the numbers away. It never worked.

His friends had gotten used to seeing Roxas with a raw, irritated left arm. They had also gotten used to the simple string of digits that seemed to cause all of Roxas' problems. Even so, it was only a matter of time before one of his friends asked exactly why he was walking around with a phone number on his arm. It was his brother Sora that finally asked about it.

"Roxas-baby, what's up with the phone number on your arm? Did you get a boyfriend and not tell your dear brother about it?"

Roxas twitched violently at the questioning of his manliness. He was manly dammit! It wasn't like it was his fault Mother Genetics gave him long eyelashes and curves certain women would kill for. Oh no, the blame for that rested squarely on Mother Genetics. She probably though it'd be funny to give Roxas such feminine qualities. In fact, she was probably—

"Hello? Earth to Roxas!"
"No Sora, I didn't get a boyfriend. I got the most fucking annoying suitor in the history of Earth!"
"Come again?"
Roxas sighed, ". . . This customer of mine keeps claiming he's the sun god. And he keeps writing his fucking phone number on my arm. I'm two inches from applying for a restraining order."
"What," Sora said suddenly, "you don't believe he could be the sun god?"
Roxas favoured Sora with a sardonic look, "Right. And gods usually walk among men for the singular purpose of tormenting them."
Sora shrugged, "I'm just saying that people aren't always what they seem."
"Yes, of course. Fine words from the brother who's gone through sixteen boyfriends in the past four months. Honestly, like your advice has any merit."
"It wasn't sixteen, you jerk! It was six, and two of those weren't even proper boyfriends."
"Oh, right. They're just the ones you cheated with when your current boyfriend was neglecting you."

Roxas expertly dodged the copy of Les Misérables that Sora, quite predictably, threw. It crashed against the wall and added another small dent to the many similar ones already present. They were named War and Peace, Don Quixote, Uncle Tom's Cabin and Emma. He picked up the book and set it on the coffee table, rolling his eyes.

"You really shouldn't throw things. What are you, ten?"
Sora pouted, "I'm twenty and you know it, Mr. I'm-So-Much-Better-Than-My-Younger-Brother. One minute, Roxas-baby. One minute!"
"And which of us failed the AP World History test?"
"Which of us didn't take the test because they were too busy fucking Demyx's brains out?"

Roxas picked Les Misérables up and chucked it at Sora's head. Hard. The grinning brunette simply caught it and opened it back to whatever page he had been reading before it had gotten thrown across the room. Without even looking up, Sora started questioning Roxas again.

"So, why don't you believe this guy?"
Roxas rolled his eyes, "Would you believe a guy who walked up to you and told you he was the sun god?"
"Roxas-baby," Sora said very matter-of-factly, "Demyx is a demi-god. What, exactly, the difference between that and this?"
"Demyx dropped that bombshell on me after I'd known him for a while and things started happening that he couldn't explain. Like the time I swear I bit him heard enough to draw substantial blood and it was gone the next day. Gone! Like it had never even happened. It's easier to believe than a guy walking up and going I'm the sun god just totally out of the blue, wouldn't you say?"

Sora looked up at his brother and raised an eyebrow. He marked the page in the book with a ratty piece of paper with digits scrawled all over it and set it down on the table in front of him. Setting his elbows on the table, he rested his chin in his hands and stared intently at Roxas. The two boys seemed to be playing a sort of staring game that made no real sense to anyone but them.

"You know," Sora said flatly, "I'm going to fail my test tomorrow if I don't finish that book."
"You know," Roxas countered, "you'd be done if you didn't spend so much time mucking around in my life instead of reading."
"Ah," Sora said slowly, "but then you would muck around and never realise that there maybe is a world out there that's larger than what you know."
"Oh, of course. Because where would little ol' English major me be without the Great and Mighty Sora-who-has-conquered-the-world? In a nice, quiet room where I don't have to listen to philosophical literature shit. I don't understand how I'm an English major, you're a Creative Writing major and we have almost none of the same classes. We don't even think the same!"

Sora had reopened his book and had progressed another page. There were still maybe 400 pages left, and Roxas knew that Sora would polish them off in a few hours. The brunette devoured books like small kids devoured candy, even the ones he absolutely despised, like Les Misérables. It wasn't, as Sora explained to Roxas a week earlier, that the book was absolutely boring. It was that the author simply spent too much time setting things up.

Roxas had snorted at that. This had come from his Creative Writing brother who, while an excellent writer, once spent five pages of essay rambling on about Julius Caesar's sexuality. Or maybe it was more rambling about Caesar's sexuality because he was trying to set up the point that homosexuality has always been present in history. Roxas was almost tempted to read a bit of this novel, if only to see what irked Sora so much.

"Hey," Sora said suddenly, "Riku called again."
Roxas sighed, "I keep telling you to let the machine get it."
Sora turned the page, "I know. I don't care that you don't like him, he's still my best friend and he's still coming over to help me study."
"Polyhymnia," Roxas hissed, "I don't want you associating with that freak! He's Erato for crying out loud!"
Sora turned another page, "Hypocrite. Really now, Melpomene, if you wanted me to use real names you should just say so. What are the chances of anyone recognising them anyway, hm?"
"High. We're both English majors, retard."
Another page, "Oh, but Melpomene! You're a muse and you don't believe that the sun god is trying to court you? I do believe that's high offence hypocrisy. Calliope would be so pissed to hear you."
"Do not," Roxas warned, "bring that back stabbing bitch into this conversation. She has no power over me! It just means she's the oldest out of us."

Sora just smiled and turned another page. There were certain perks to being the muse of rhetoric, the best of which was the ability to weasel whatever the hell you wanted out of people. He knew that the only person Roxas hated more than Riku was the tiny, loud-mouthed girl that was commonly known as Callista. She was actually Calliope, chief of the muses and had stolen many a client from Roxas just on the basis of "keeping life interesting."

Sora peeked over the edge of his book and quietly thanked this mysterious "Axel" for writing his phone number so big just as Roxas finally finished whatever he had been doing on his laptop and shut it. He placed it on the coffee table and fixed Sora with a dark glare. Sora pretended not to notice and turned another page.

"Don't do anything stupid."
"Wouldn't dream of it, Roxas-baby."
"If anything catches on fire, where's the fire extinguisher?"
"Hidden under the couch. Have fun at your job, Roxas-baby."

Roxas muttered something under his breath before storming out of the room. Sora waved absent-mindedly before setting the book down. The phone flew into his hand and he punched a series of numbers in before getting up and cradling the phone between his shoulder and ear. He hummed softly as he opened a can of ravioli and dumped it into a bowl.

Before he could shove his ravioli into the microwave though, the person on the other end answered. The voice was deeper than his own with a slightly hard edge to it. Sora immediately decided he liked this person. A most excellent choice to get Roxas laid, never mind the fact that anyone was a good choice at this point. Sora still had standards.

"Who the fuck is this?"
"Mmm," Sora said as he shut the microwave door, "the twin brother of the blond kid at the bar."

Sora thought he heard glass breaking. It could have just been his imagination.

"What?"
"The kid at the bar you keep hitting on. I'm his brother."
"He has a brother?"
Sora rolled his eyes, "Yes. Isn't that what I just said? Your name is Axel and you're the sun god. Am I right?"
"Yes, but where the fuck did you get this number?"
"If you don't want people knowing it," Sora said flatly, "maybe you shouldn't write it so big."
"You copied it off your brother's arm?"
"No. I just memorised it. 'kay, um, seriously. What do you want with my brother?"
"You can't use that. That's my catchphrase!"

Maybe, and this thought was just beginning to creep into Sora's head, this guy wasn't such a good choice. Maybe he ought to listen to his brother for once. But really, it was too late to turn back.

"Look, just answer my question. What do you want with my brother?"
"Oh, just the time of day."
Sora laughed, "You're better off asking a rock. Want a tip?"
"At this point, I'll take anything I can get."
"Roxas-baby is an English major. His favourite type of food is Japanese but he hates most seafood. The best way to woo him is to make him laugh."
"The kid's name is Roxas?"

Was this guy stupid or something? Sora sighed.

"No," he drawled, "his name is Bunny Von Hophop. Do you know Demyx?"
"Blond, funky hair, loves his music to death?"
"Yup, that's the one!"
"Yeah, I know him. Why?"
"Roxas-baby's ex-boyfriend. Ask him how to make Roxas-baby laugh."

The microwave beeped impatiently and Sora sighed. He opened the door of the microwave before adjusting the phone's position between his ear and shoulder.

"Okay, Mr. Sun God, I have to go. Don't tell Roxas-baby I told you any of this."
"Uh, okay. Thanks, I guess."
"You're very welcome. My brother needs to get laid."

With a soft click, the conversation terminated and the phone was sent back to its cradle. Sora picked up his bowl and blew on the ravioli softly just as the doorbell rang. With a roll of his eyes, he walked over, setting his ravioli down on the table in the process.

"Ew," Sora laughed, "it's a Riku!"

---

Roxas was only mildly surprised to see Demyx at the bar when he got there. The record store up the street had employed the blond musician since he'd been able to get a job and he taken to stopping by the kiddie park on break once Roxas had got his job. Roxas had started to wave when he caught sight of an unmistakable flurry of crimson.

"Roxy," Demyx called, "can I get free booze?"
"Not if you know that perverted sunuvabitch sitting next to you."
"Aw," Axel cut in, "you don't wub me Bunny Von Hophop?"

If Roxas were as proficient in his muse-powers as Sora, Axel might have met his doom through the look of the somewhat effeminate boy who was currently glaring daggers. As it so happened, Roxas was not as proficient as his younger brother and Axel did not die of guilt. Demyx, however, almost did.

"This guy? Nah, never seen him before in my life. Nope. Never ever."
Roxas glared a little more, "Where did you learn the name Bunny Von Hophop?"
"Well," Axel said nervously, "a friend who might know your brother might've let it slip?"

Roxas seemed slightly sceptical as he slipped on an apron and mixed up a drink for Demyx. He slid it across the counter and rolled his eyes when the musician's head tipped back and he downed the entirety of the cup's contents in one gulp. The cheap plastic cup was slid back and Roxas sighed as he fixed up another drink. This one was lighter, he didn't want to be responsible for Demyx's state later.

"You're paying for the next one. Correction," Roxas said with a nod in Axel's direction, "he's paying for the next one."
Axel stared blankly at Roxas, ". . . What?"
"You," Roxas said smoothly, "are paying for Demyx's drink because I will kick you out on the grounds of sexual harassment if you don't."

A slightly arrogant smile spread across Roxas' face. Axel fixed him with a look that said something like "are you shitting me?" and received one back that said "I hate you, do not push your luck." With a heavy sigh, Axel pulled a beat-up, brown leather wallet from his back pocket.

A thin rectangle of plastic was set before Roxas, "Here."
"Thank you," Roxas said tonelessly.

Demyx, although he normally talked up a storm, was now quietly watching the interaction between Roxas and Axel. Taking a small sip of the drink Roxas had just given him, he was contemplating exactly what to tell Axel and how to do it without Roxas hearing when "Barbie Girl" exploded from his phone.

Ignoring the vaguely disturbed looks from both Roxas and Axel, Demyx downed the rest of his drink as he somehow managed to pull his phone from the pocket it was in and slid it open.

"Hello?"

Demyx set the cup back down and pushed it toward Roxas as he listened to the person on the other end. Roxas washed the cup out with a swish of water and mixed up something else as Axel tapped his fingers impatiently against the counter.

Demyx bit his lower lip, "Um, I guess so? You wanna talk to Roxy? . . . No, but he's working and I'm sitting at the bar . . . Uh-huh, okay. Roxy, it's your brother."

Roxas handed Demyx his third drink while simultaneously taking the phone from him. He leaned against the counter as he brought the phone up to his ear.

"What do you want?"

There was a slight pause. Roxas paced. Demyx took this as a cue to nick one of the napkins oh-so neatly stacked on the counter and pull a pen from his pocket. He quickly scribbled something and shoved it in Axel's face.

"Read it later," came the barely audible whisper.

Axel nodded and pocketed the napkin just as Roxas yelled something vaguely insulting into the phone and snapped it shut. He whirled back around, practically chucked the phone at Demyx and stormed out into the parking lot. Axel and Demyx exchanged a glance.

"I'm going to guess he's mad."
"I'm going to say you're right."

---

Sora, under most circumstances, was an extremely happy young man. He always had a smile for everyone, and was possibly the most popular person on campus. He also had a slightly over reactive brother who was currently engaged in an emphatic yelling contest with the slender, dark-haired Callista. In Latin.

Riku raised an eyebrow and Sora shrugged. He went back to reading Les Misérables. Riku looked at the slender red-headed girl sitting next to him and she shrugged too. Her twin-but-not sitting next to her, Naminé, never looked up from her sketch book and the young man sitting in the kitchen and reading was too far away. That left the spiky blond who reminded Riku of Roxas and the brunette girl who reminded Riku of Sora. Make that just the spiky blond. The girl was trying to calm both Callista and Roxas down.

"Cloud? Do you know what the fuck is going on?"
"The hell if I know. We got called in for a meeting and suddenly Roxas explodes."
Sora spoke from behind his book, "Roxas-baby is fraternising with the enemy."

Riku rolled his eyes and snatched the book from Sora. He folded the corner of the page down and set it on the table. The brunette made a move to grab it again, but Riku pushed him back.

"What else have you been hiding and how much of this did you cause?"
"Just some little pieces," Sora said nonchalantly, "like the fact that the sun god is down for punishment and Roxas-baby has been serving him beer. And I didn't cause any of it for once, Roxas-baby did it all on his own. I'm so proud."

A snap of Sora's fingers and his book flew back to him. He continued reading. The others all looked at Roxas and Callista, trying to decide what exactly they were arguing about. It was mostly the fact that the conversation was in Latin which no one, save for Sora, spoke fluently.

"Fuck you Calliope! I'll do whatever the fuck I feel like!"
"Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert.*"

And with that calm, collected phrase, Sora burst out laughing. The apparent humour was lost on everyone in the room—including Roxas, but Riku had a sneaking suspicion Roxas was unamused because whatever humour was in the statement was at his expense. He jabbed Sora in the side.

"What the hell?"
Sora took a calming breath, "I'm sorry. She just told him she didn't give a damn. It came out of nowhere."

The other occupants of the room stared at Sora. He calmly picked up his book again and continued reading like nothing had never happened. Realising that Sora probably binged on sugar that morning, the six other muses went back to seeing what Roxas was going to do.

They didn't have to wait long. He spun on his heel and stormed out of the apartment the same way he stormed out of the bar. After a few uncomfortable seconds of silence, Cloud got up really slowly and headed for the door.

"Stop."

Cloud stopped and slowly turned to face Callista. Sora adjusted the position he was sitting in and, without looking up from his book, spoke.

"Certe, Riku, sentio nos in Kansate non iam adesse.*"

At this point, Callista burst out laughing. Cloud stared at her for a moment before taking this as his cue to run out of the apartment and get back to those deliveries he was supposed to be doing but wasn't. The others also left quickly and quietly until only Callista, Sora and Riku were left.

Sora was still reading his book, ignoring pretty much everything going on. Riku sighed and tugged the book out of Sora's hands, setting it on the table again. He cupped Sora's face in his hands and stared at Sora for a couple of seconds before saying anything.

"As much as I love you Sora, you are batshit crazy when you have coffee."
A small shrug, "It got the job done."
"Yes, but you're still batshit crazy. What is it with you and The Wizard of Oz anyway?"
A soft chuckle, "I thought you didn't know Latin, Riku."

---

Roxas was currently working what was shaping up to be a triple shift at his kiddie park bar. Kairi, the slender red-head, had come in and he sent her home. Actually, he didn't send her home. He glared at her until she took the less than subtle hint and left. It was always better to leave when Roxas was upset. Unless you were Sora.

Demyx had hung around for the hour that the record store allotted him for lunch and then left. The redhead, Axel, left with him and had a hundred-dollar tab despite not drinking anything. Roxas had mixed himself a drink and downed it, despite not being legal. And then he charged it to the redhead's card.

Everyone knew that Roxas was not in the best of moods. They gave him a wide berth and left him to do what he did for stress-relief: mix drinks.

Roxas' boss, a shrewd and slightly shifty man named Xehanort, walked up to the bar and placed his palms flat on the counter. Roxas ignored him until he cleared his throat. Roxas looked up for about a half second before going back to what he was doing.

"Roxas," Xehanort said sternly, "go home."
Roxas rolled his eyes and passed a drink to a customer, "Fuck off, Xehanort. Go study your treasure maps or some other stupid shit."
"Roxas," Xehanort repeated, "go home."
Roxas leaned forward on the counter, voice full of venom, "Give me one good reason why I should."
Xehanort sighed, "Roxas, you've consumed at least three Photon Debuggers. You're intoxicated, go home."
"That," Roxas said with a snort, "is all the more reason for me not to go home."

Xehanort was gently pushed aside and Sora stood in front of Roxas, arms akimbo. He seemed slightly disappointed.

"Roxas-baby," Sora whispered, "come home."

An excessive sigh and Roxas undid his apron. He hung it up and walked around the bar to stand in front of Sora, who hugged him. They left, just as Xehanort yelled out something about Roxas' car. Sora yelled something about getting it later and gave Xehanort a small smile. Xehanort slumped against the counter.

"I really need a better bartender."

---

Demyx collapsed, face-down on his couch. He mumbled something into the cushion and hardly noticed when the cushion shifted with new weight and a hand hesitantly rubbed his back. He lifted his face up from the cushion and looked to see who it was.

"Oh, it's just you, Zexion."

Demyx ran a hand through his dirty blond hair and waited for the other boy to say something. The other shifted a little and tucked a piece of slate grey hair behind his ear.

"Roxas seemed unhappy."
Demyx laughed, "Unhappy is an understatement. Roxy was pissed."
"I assume you met with him earlier?"
"Yeah," Demyx shrugged, "while I was meeting up with Axel."
A small nod, "I see. Things are okay between the two of you?"
A sigh, "It's been two and a half years, Zexion. Roxy and I parted on good terms, no bad feelings."

Zexion looked at Demyx for a moment before pulling him forward for a soft kiss. Demyx returned the kiss and smiled at Zexion.

"Axel was asking about you."
"Oh? And what did he ask?"
"After he asked if I was trying to sleep with all the muses, he asked if you were treating me nicely."
"And what did you say?"
A small shrug, "I said, compared to Roxas, you're like the sweetest thing on earth."

Zexion gave one of his rare smiles and Demyx gave a bright sunshine one back.

"Compared to Roxas," Zexion said flatly, "serial killers look like the Easter Bunny."
Demyx laughed, "Oh, but we didn't come up with the name Bunny Von Hophop for no reason!"
"There's a reason behind that godawful name?"
Demyx laughed again, "I am sworn to never reveal the secrets of that one drunken night."

---

Another week, maybe, passed before it was Friday night and Roxas was watching TV on the couch while Sora was working some new, toxic baking experiment in the kitchen. Roxas though Sora had said they were macaroons, but . . . He could never be too sure. The phone rang.

Sora held out a hand and the phone flew to him. He answered it, cradling the phone between his head and his shoulder.

"Hello, you've reached Sora and Roxas' apartment. How can I help you? . . . Sure, I guess. Hey, Roxas! Phone call for you! Catch!"

Roxas caught the phone as it flew across the room again and held it to his ear as he flipped through about twenty channels.

"Who are you, what do you want and why didn't you call my cell?"

There was a pause before a deep voice answered, "I'm Axel, I want to go on a date with you and Demyx refused to give me your cell number because he said it's never on."
"I hate you and I'm hanging up now."

The phone clicked off and Roxas put it on the table before returning to watching TV. It flew back to the cradle, presumably Sora's doing and Roxas didn't pay it much mind after that. Fifteen minutes, one batch of baking failure vanilla-overdosed chocolate chip coconut macaroons later, the phone rang again.

Sora blinked before answering it.

"Hello, you've reached Sora and Roxas' apartment. How can I help you? . . . Uh, not off the top of my head. Why do you want to know? Oh. Okay. 131-6013 . . . Why would I lie? . . . You can ask Demyx, if you like . . . No, I can proudly say I've never fucked Demyx . . . No, I'd rather not. Thank you for offering though! . . . 131-8008? Got it, thanks. Yeah, you're welcome."

The phone clicked off and Sora grinned. Roxas mentally prepared himself for whatever crazy idea was about to come out of Sora's mouth. Sora and grins almost always equalled crazy ideas. Especially rather devious ones like the one Sora was currently giving him.

"Guess what, Roxas-baby," Sora said, as he sat down on the couch, "we're going out to dinner."
Roxas blinked, that couldn't be the entire story. It was never just dinner with Sora. It was usually more like "dinner with people Roxas hates." Sora grinned wider.
"Demyx and Zexion and Kairi and Namine and Selphie and Cloud are all going to be there."
". . . You deliberately left out Riku and Callista."
"Okay, fine. They'll be there too, but so will a bunch of other people. Now go get dressed or I'll dress you mentally like that one time. It will be pink and ruffly, Roxas-baby."

Roxas winced. His twin had a slightly sick sense of humour. Actually, make that an extremely sick sense of humour. Sora thought it was funny to give people condoms for their 18th birthdays and to abuse his powers as a muse ever so slightly in order to force people to do things he thought were entertaining.

Like that one drunken night. Roxas winced some more and pushed that particular memory down into the deepest, darkest depths of his mind. As in, he never, ever wanted to think of it again if it could be helped at all. Roxas would die a horrific death if the full story of that night got out.

He sighed and got up. It never did any good to deny Sora what he wanted—he was the muse of rhetoric. He could cajole you into sleeping with your sister if he felt like it, but Sora never used his powers for pure evil things like that. Oh no. Sora just used his powers to make his life interesting. Roxas seriously wondered why they gave the powers of rhetoric to a hyperactive ball of energy.

Powers like that should never be put into the hands of someone who gets bored easily. Roxas sighed as he pulled on some slacks and shrugged on a white, button-down shirt. He grabbed a decent looking jacket that wasn't covered in checkers or bleached designs and went back out to the living room. He found Sora there, sitting on the couch in a glaringly bright green shirt and khaki slacks. Roxas rolled his eyes and tapped Sora on the shoulder. Sora looked up and grinned.

"I can see you don't approve of my clothing choice. Might I remind you that this is the only shirt that keeps me from being molested constantly?"
"You look ridiculous in girl's clothing."
"That's why it keeps me from being molested."

---

It was a decent, sit-down type restaurant. The kitschy kind of diner where the waiter called you hun and all the seats were covered in vinyl. Nasty, glittery vinyl that squeaked when it was sat on.

Roxas hated it. And not just because his two least-favourite people were sitting in the same twenty-foot radius, but because the people were so damn nice. Roxas was a firm believer in the truth that people should not be nice to people that are rowdy, tiresome and rather annoying. Like most of the other muses. Especially when you got them all together and added Demyx into the mix.

After all, Demyx was the son of Chaos and some random guy she met on the street. He had a little of his mother's powers, which Roxas knew for a fact. Demyx had just stood up rather abruptly. Roxas gave one of his very rare smiles as he watched Zexion place a hand on Demyx's hip. Demyx sat back down and made wild hands gestures as he tried to explain something to Zexion. And then he stopped and waved to the person that just walked in.

Roxas looked and stiffened. He turned to the left slowly and was met with a completely unabashed, smiling Sora.

"I hate you. I hate you so much it isn't even funny."
Sora shook his head, "You really fit your title of tragedy, Roxas-baby."

Demyx was talking to Axel and he waved a hand over to where Roxas was seated. Roxas abruptly stood up and stormed out of the diner. And then Demyx pointed this out to Axel, who followed Roxas out of the diner and into the parking lot.

"You know," the redhead said suddenly, "it's considered bad manners to leave a diner without paying."
Roxas twitched, "Sora can pay. He makes more than I do as a bartender anyway."
"It's also," the redhead continued, "considered bad manners to leave your brother stranded in a diner."
Roxas rolled his eyes, "Sora can't drive anyway, no one will let him. Riku will bring him home."
"Why do you hate me?"
"Because you're a fucktard, my brother seems to think you're good for me and you have red hair."
"What does having red hair have to do with anything?"
"You're Sora's type. I think he's slept with every redhead we've met so far—boys and girls."
"So, in a nutshell, you hate me because your brother likes me?"
"No. Mostly I hate you because you're a fucktard."

They finally reached Roxas' tiny, red Honda and Axel grabbed Roxas' wrist. Roxas jerked it from him and huffed. He was not having a good day.

"That is a fine example of your fucktarded behaviour."

And with that, Roxas got into his car and drove back to his apartment. He stormed to the apartment, after locking the door, grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. The redhead was the most annoying person he'd ever met, hands down. Calmer, Roxas sat down on the couch to do some meditation. He figured there was about two hours of peace and silence before Riku drove Sora back home.

Then, the loud and incessant knocking on the door started. Roxas ignored it for the first thirty seconds or so. He stood up, grumbled and went to go open the door after about forty-five seconds of non-stop knocking. And, when he saw who was behind the door, he promptly slammed it shut again.

"Fuck off, you insufferable piece of shit!"

Roxas stormed over to the couch, sat down and buried his head in the cushions. He screamed again, which neatly coincided with the knocking starting up again. He groped around on the coffee table until he found Sora's copy of Les Misérables. He picked it up and threw it, not caring that Sora would probably be very angry at him for that when he got home.

"What part of I hate you do you not understand?"

There was a muffled response that Roxas partially didn't hear because he had a pillow over his head and partially didn't hear because the apartment had a very thick door. And then the door clicked open, to which Roxas shot up and started at the doorway with abject horror.

Axel was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. He had a cocky grin plastered on his face and Roxas wanted to curl up in a little ball and die. This was worse than his 18th birthday, when he got two boxes of condoms, a birth control prescription, a packet about pregnancy and a giftcard to Babies R Us. It would seem that all of his friends had the same demented humour as Sora.

"The nice thing about being a god," Axel drawled, "is that you can do nifty things like pick locks mentally."

Roxas buried his face the the pillow he was clutching like a flotation device. This was almost as bad as immediately after his 18th birthday when everyone thought he was a girl for two weeks, no thanks to Demyx at all.

He mumbled something that Axel thought sounded like "maybe if Sora had put me in the frilly dress." Axel raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. Instead, he walked over and stood in front of the couch. Roxas mumbled something that sounded like "frilly dress would've cured the problem."

Axel cleared his throat and Roxas looked up.

"This had better be one of Sora's sick, sick nightmares."
Axel smiled, "Nope, I'm all for real."
". . . I am going to close my eyes and count to ten. If you're still here, I think this is officially the worst day ever. If you're not, then I am going to kill Sora when I wake up."

Roxas screwed his eyes shut and started rattling off numbers. Axel stood patiently in front of Roxas and waited for him to reach ten. When Roxas opened his eyes again and Axel was still there, he stood up and calmly walked to his room. And then he locked himself inside.

Axel blinked. Roxas was a very peculiar creature. He walked over to what he presumed was Roxas' room and knocked on the door. No response. Axel pulled a sleek cellphone out of his back pocket and shuffled through the numbers until he found the one he wanted.

He hit call, put the phone to his ear and waited. There's a slightly muffled answer and Axel smiles.

"So he wasn't lying. Hello, Roxas. Would you like to talk?"

Another muffled response and Axel laughs.

"I'm just going to keep calling you and running up your phone bill, got it memorised?"

What had the tone of a sarcastic, biting remark on the other end. Axel laughed again.

"Yes I realise I'm probably about four feet away from you and I'm calling. I don't really care."

Axel leaned against the wall.

"So, Roxas, what's your favourite colour?"

A tired, slightly annoyed response. A small smile from Axel.

"Black is a shade, silly. And my favourite drink is Pink Agaricus . . . Oh really? Hospitality? Gee, thanks."

Axel walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. As he shifted through the contents, he asked Roxas another question.

"Do you really hate me or are you just generally irritable?"

A long, drawn-out response from the other end as Axel pulled an obscenely gay pink bottle out of the fridge. He shut the door with a well-placed smack of his hip and opened the bottle with a little abuse of his god powers. The bottlecap landed neatly in the trashcan. Axel listened intently to the answer and smiled a little.

"I knew there was a reason why I like you."

---

About an hour and a half later, Sora came home and found Axel sitting on his couch talking into his cell phone. Axel looked up as Sora entered and waved to him before taking another swig of his Pink Agaricus and turning his attention back to his cellphone.

"Your brother is home, Roxas. I think it's about time we hang up."

Axel seemed to be listening to the response on the other end. He smiled a little.

"No way. I'll see you on your next shift, Roxas."

With a click, Axel shut his phone off and stood up. Sora stopped him and pointed to the phone.

"How long were you talking to him?"

Axel shrugged and looked at his phone. He did a little bit of calculation, tapped his lower lip and thought for a couple of seconds before answering.

"Hour forty-five minutes?"

Sora stared at Axel and made fishy, gaping motions with his mouth. He gave up trying to say anything and looked at the floor. The copy of Les Misérables Roxas had thrown earlier was on the floor. Sora looked back up.

"You are a very amazing person. Roxas hardly ever talks on his phone for more than fifteen minutes."

He bent down to pick up his book and when he straightened again, he gave Axel a decidedly crazy grin and was very slightly afraid.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to go maim my brother."

Axel managed a slightly apprehensive smile and a nod as Sora dusted off his book and set it on the coffee table. He walked slowly over to his brother's room and knocked on the door. Axel, not wishing to see the carnage, took this as his cue to carefully exit and shut the door behind him.

He even managed to block out the rather high, girly squeak that penetrated his ears after he shut the door. Well . . . Mostly, anyway.

---

"I can't believe your advice actually worked for once, Demyx."

Zexion looked up at Axel, who was shutting the door. He pointed down to Demyx, who was curled up and asleep on Zexion's lap. Axel nodded and walked across the apartment into the kitchen. He grabbed a slice of bread and dug through the drawers trying to find a packet of hot sauce. Zexion raised an eyebrow.

"Third drawer from the right."

Axel checked the drawer Zexion indicated and produced two packets of crappy, restaurant squeeze-packet hot sauce. He proceeded to squirt this all over the bread and eat it. Zexion grimaced a little and then remembered that Demyx once ate peanut butter and mayonnaise in a sandwich because they ran out of jelly and he couldn't be bothered to go get some more.

And Roxas had told him some horror stories about Sora eating chocolate covered quiche because there was a chocolate fountain and Lord knows you just have to try certain things. Or so Sora believed, Zexion personally thought he was just a little bit crazy.

Demyx shifted a little and mumbled something. Zexion petted his hair and gave a small smile before nearly jumping out of his skin when three cellphones went off simultaneously, each playing a different asinine song. Demyx snapped awake, pulled a phone from his back pocket and answered it while both Zexion and Axel did the same.

As if timed, three voices rang out, "Hello?"
A pause and then, collectively, "What?"

---

It went something like this: Roxas called Axel, Sora called Demyx, Cloud called Zexion. They each had entirely separate concerns which nicely fit together and amounted to almost the exact same thing. Namely, Riku.

Roxas needed to rant about the fact that Riku had just sexed his brother up and he hated Riku. Sora had to ramble to Demyx about the fact that Roxas had just exploded all over their apartment. Cloud called because Riku was being an unbearable bag of emo. All in all, it was a large and complex problem that required an immediate meeting of all involved parties.

Which included Cloud, Demyx, Zexion and Axel because the actual involved parties were too wussy to talk to each other. Especially Riku. Mostly Riku. Roxas was not a wuss in any way, shape or form and Sora was too gay to be called a wuss in the first place which left Riku.

This was why all seven people were currently sitting in Sora and Roxas' apartment scattered across the couch, two chairs and kitchen table. Roxas was not in his happy place, Riku looked about two inches away from breaking down and crying and Sora was calmly surfing the net on his laptop.

They were certainly nowhere near resolving the issue, which was precisely the reason why Zexion was pinching the bridge of his nose and mumbling things that sounded an awful lot like curses under his breath. Axel was sitting on the kitchen table and completely missing all the underlying tension partially because he was looking at the apartment and partially because he didn't understand the entire backstory.

But mostly because he was focused on Roxas.

"Roxas, stop antagonising Riku. Sora, shut that off. Riku, stop being a pansy."

Sora obeyed without question, setting the laptop on the floor. Roxas lowered the intensity of his glare. Riku stopped twirling his hair on his index finger. Zexion relaxed a little and pointed to Riku.

"Explain yourself."
Riku blinked, "Huh?"
Cloud sighed, "He wants you to justify the mess you've caused."
"Oh. Uh, Sora said it was okay and said he'd take care of Roxas. He doesn't have a boyfriend currently and I think he's cute."

Riku failed to notice the rapid hand signals Sora was trying to send him. Roxas' eyes narrowed a little more and Zexion pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"Riku, I am going to ki—"
"-dnap your puppy."
Riku blinked, "Huh?"
"Your puppy. I'm going to kidnap it."

Sora smiled sweetly at Riku and rolled his eyes at Roxas. There was some hushed, angry whispering between the two of them, confusing everyone else. They were talking quietly, for one, and Zexion was pretty sure they were talking in Latin anyway.

He was not amused. They were dealing with a ticking time bomb, a total wuss and a sweet face that got what it wanted. Except when it came to Riku. Even the most perfect of pouts would not budge Roxas in matters concerning his sworn enemy, Riku who looked like he walked straight out of a Herbal Essence commercial. Roxas hated those Herbal Essence commercials. A lot.

". . . If the three of you don't get this worked out within the next ten minutes, I shall be forced to make you work this out. Are we clear?"

Zexion was losing his patience. This was quite possibly the most inane thing he had ever experienced and he was getting tired of it. Roxas, in his opinion, should just shut the fuck up and go screw Axel. Sora and Riku should go . . . Make out. Or something. He hadn't quite worked out the entire plan yet, but he was pretty sure it jut mostly involved everyone getting laid and leaving him free for some goddamn alone time with Demyx. Was that so much to ask for?

"Um, guys? Can't you just get along?"
Roxas glared, "If Riku wasn't the muse of erotic poetry, then maybe. But since he is, then no."

Demyx opened his mouth to say something and smooth the mess, but he was cut off by Zexion.

"Roxas, you need to get laid."

Roxas, being the over-reactive little time bomb he was, sputtered as Sora carefully hid a small chuckle. Zexion had a look of extreme seriousness on his face and that only made Roxas sputter more. Demyx whispered something in Zexion's ear and Zexion sighed.

Sora patted his brother and muttered something in Latin. Roxas scowled.

"What does my sex life have to do with the situation at hand?"
Zexion calmly replied, "If you were to get laid, then you wouldn't care so much that your little brother was being fucked by Riku."
"Right, so just because I'm having sex I'll forget about my little brother's well-being."
Zexion shook his head, "No. You'd just be more receptive to this situation. It's not as bad as you make it seem, Riku really seems to care for Sora."
"He's a horny bastard that just wants my brother's ass."

Riku opened his mouth to answer but was silenced by the frantic hand motions Sora gave him. Demyx opened his mouth to try and smooth the mess, but was cut off by Axel.

"I propose a truth test."

Everyone turned to look at the redhead. He was lounging on the table, leaning back on a hand and watching the twins on the couch. His eyes flicked toward the silvered-haired Riku in the armchair and he grinned. Demyx didn't like the sound of this.

"Isn't the truth test what got you kicked off Olympus?"
Axel waved it off, "What's Zeus gonna do to me? I'm already down here!"
Roxas focused on Axel for the first time, "What are the conditions of this test?"

The feral grin that spread across Axel's face made Roxas immediately regret that innocent question. Demyx opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it and shut his mouth again. Axel looked just a little crazy before responding.

"I put each of you in a separate room and cast spells over you so that all you can say is truth. Each of you is questioned for twenty minutes and at the end, your results are compared to create a comprehensive analysis of the situation."
Zexion snorted, "That's not what a truth test is. It's more of a torture session that involves questioning."

Roxas looked at Riku and then to Sora. He looked up to Axel and had the same sort of feral grin.

"I'll take it."

---

Exactly sixty minutes later, Riku was hiding under the dining room table and Sora was completely zoned out. Roxas, however, was staring Axel in the face and smirking.

"That wasn't so bad."

Axel blinked. He looked at Roxas, who seemed perfectly fine after twenty minutes of intense questioning. That wasn't normal, most people were either drained or extremely afraid after the questioning. Axel was rather intrigued at this.

"You're the only person I've ever done this to that hasn't broken down."
Roxas shrugged, "I have Sora for a brother and I'm the muse of tragedy. That was nothing compared to what I'm used to, Sora pesters like hell."

Axel shook his head and muttered something before looking over the psycho-analysis of their answers and a lot of other mumbo-jumbo that didn't make much sense. He walked out of the room and called Demyx, who put Zexion on.

"Roxas is a ticking time bomb, Sora is a sweet face who gets anything he wants except when it comes to Riku, who's a pansy. But! Riku really does love Sora and Roxas really does need to get laid. Oh and Roxas is also one of those fabled Adamantoise. Just thought you'd like to know."

Axel glanced over to Riku, who was whimpering. He listened to the response and rolled his eyes. Zexion was going on scientific rant again, so he didn't really have to pay attention. He was vaguely aware of Sora stumbling out of his room and over to the kitchen.

"Oh totally. Pink's your colour, got it memorised?"

A sputter on the other end and Axel laughed. He loved screwing up Zexion's thought processes. Sora was dumping a can of . . . Ravioli? Yes, it was ravioli and he was dumping it into a bowl. And Sora was eating it cold. Gross.

A murmur from Sora, "David says cold ravioli cure broken hearts . . ."

Axel decided it was better not to ask. In the space of an hour he had learned that it was always better not to ask what was going on in Sora's head. He saw Roxas walk out of his room and make a face at Sora out of the corner of his eye. Demyx had regained the phone and was chattering now. Axel laughed.

"Hey, Demyx. I gotta go, I'll be back at the apartment later, okay?"

There was a cheerful reply and Axel shut his phone before turning to face the scene in the kitchen. Sora was sitting on the table and eating cold ravioli and half paying attention to Roxas, who was digging through the fridge and giving a sermon. He emerged with two bottles of Pink Agaricus, one of which he tossed to Axel.

"Axel, catch."

The redhead caught the bottle and opened it. Riku finally crawled out from under the table and scrambled over to the fridge, where he retrieved a bottle of water with GULLWING plastered on it. He opened it and drank. Roxas shook his head before turning to Axel.

"So, what were the results?"
Axel shrugged, "You all have major personality defects, but Riku really does love Sora. And you need to get laid, got it memorised?"

Roxas glared and Axel laughed. Sora smiled and Riku walked over to him to whisper something secretly in his ear. A giggle and Sora turns to Axel.

"Hey, Axel, would you do the honours and sex Roxas-baby up for me?"
Axel blinked, "What?"
A dangerous grin spreads across Sora's face, "I think you and Roxas-baby will be excellent for one another."

---

Exactly a month passed before the next reasonably important event. During the lull, Sora and Riku went at it like rabbits and Roxas talked to Axel. And that was it.

But it was deep, meaningful talk at least. The kind that left Axel swimming in a headache and wondering if maybe Roxas was the true muse of rhetoric and not his brother. Then, as tragedy is wont to do, Roxas disappeared and wrecked havoc on his brother's vaguely unstable psyche.

This is why, at exactly ten minutes past midnight, Axel was slapped awake by a hysterical Sora. After a couple of seconds of blinking, Axel's cat-like night vision kicked in and he tilted his head to the side and ran a hand through his hair.

"Sora . . . ?"
"OMGRoxasisn'thomeandIdon'tknowwhattodoOMGhelpmeAxel!"
". . . What?"
"Roxas! Gone! Help! Please?"
"Uh . . . Did he go out somewhere?"
"Never. Nope. No friends!"
"I'm sure he does have friends, don't be so harsh on your brother. He'll probably be back by morning."
Sora shook his head frantically, "Roxas. Test. Tomorrow. Sleep."
Axel blinked slowly, "Then where does Roxas go when he wants to be alone?"
". . . Park?"

Axel dragged himself out of bed and ruffled Sora's hair. He walked across the hall and opened the door to Demyx and Zexion's room. Walking across, he tapped Zexion on the shoulder. There was a mumbled before Zexion sat up and looked at Axel.

"What?"
Axel whispered, "Apparently, Roxas ran off somewhere and Sora's hysterical. I need you to watch him, maybe take him to Riku?"

Zexion gave a curt nod before turning over and whispering something to Demyx. There was a yawn before Demyx blinked.

"Roxas gone again?"
". . . How'd you know?"
Demyx shrugged, "Roxas hasn't gone missing for six months. It was about time for him to go missing again. Just call him and talk to him. I gotta go take care of Sora."

Demyx smiled and tumbled out of bed to go calm Sora down. Zexion, in all his infinite wisdom, had gone back to sleep. This wasn't his problem, so he didn't need to be awake. He had class tomorrow and it tended to be better if one was awake during those.

Axel pulled out his cellphone and hit speed dial number 2. There was ringing and Axel silently willed Roxas to pick up. Seven . . . Eight . . . Why don't you want to talk?

At ten rings, a tired voice, "Hello?"
"Roxas?"
"Tell Demyx twice by nine is that with which to orient and four past two is thrice where you should be."

There was a soft click and Axel looked at the phone before shutting it. He walked out to the living room where Sora was being consoled with cold ravioli and sweet talk. Demyx looked up and saw Axel. He motioned for him to come over and Axel did. He sat at the kitchen table.

"What did he say?"
"Twice by nine is something to orient and four past two is thrice where I should be?"
Demyx thought for a second before smiling, "There's a diner about three blocks from here called Clockwork. He'll be sitting in the booth closest to the front window. Go, he'll be waiting."

Axel nodded and ran out the door. He didn't even bother to think that he had no idea where this diner was, he just ran. And, in three blocks plus a little backtracking, he was there. The harsh fluorescent light made Axel appear almost holy, maybe a little more god-like than normal, or so Roxas would say later. It didn't much matter, because Axel entered the diner and it made the same tinkling bell noise as all diner doors did. Roxas looked up after sitting in the diner and being served coffee for three hours and Axel had never seen him look more hellish.

Though, as Axel would say later, the smile he got from Roxas was beautiful. That smile marked the first time Axel ever wanted to wax poetic and buy a thousand million bajillion roses just for Roxas. He had liked Roxas before that smile, but he hadn't been the lovesick puppy that one smile turned him into.

And in that moment, Roxas felt more like a muse than he had in a long time. He finally felt that he could inspire the great poetry and creative enterprises that his parents had so often told him he was going to inspire. More importantly though, Roxas didn't feel like the train wreck he was. The muse of tragedy, as any muse will tell you, is the most volatile of them all.

---

"You seem different somehow."

Roxas looked up at Sora, who was rummaging through the refrigerator for something. He rolled his eyes before replying.

"I'm not any different than I was a week ago, Sora."

Sora stood back up, now holding a persimmon in his hand, and turned to face Roxas. He shut the fridge with a solid hit from his hip, Roxas shook his head at the act. And Riku wondered why Sora had bruises all over the place.

"You are too different. You have a boyfriend now."

Sora walked over to the sink and rinsed off the persimmon before cutting it into four neat quadrants. He put one in his mouth as Roxas shook his head and went back to typing up his essay.

"Having a boyfriend doesn't make me different, you weirdo."

Finishing off the piece of persimmon he had been eating, Sora chewed it thoroughly before he responded.

"Yes, it does. You seem happier and you haven't yelled at Riku as much. And you've been looking less like a zombie in the mornings. Or maybe more, I haven't decided yet."

With that profound comment, Sora popped another persimmon piece back in his mouth. Roxas erased what he had jut written and wrote something else. Their apartment kitchen was so not the best place to write essays. Especially with Sora there. He looked up at Sora, who was happily eating the astringent fruit. Roxas didn't care for it, but Sora loved it.

There was a knock at the door, which Sora went to go answer after popping his last piece of persimmon in his mouth. A thin, slightly scrawny, blond girl in a white sun dress was standing at the door , Sora let her in.

"Roxas, Naminé is here! Are you guys going to an art show or something?"
"Yes, we are and no, you're not invited. Hi, Naminé."
"Hi, Roxas. Are you ready to go?"

Roxas shut his laptop and set it down on the table before grabbing his messenger bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He extended a hand to Naminé and she took it gratefully. They walked out, but Roxas stopped just before he shut the door behind him and glared at Sora.

"You two have sex anywhere but on your bed and you're fucking dead when I come home."
"Wouldn't dream of it, Roxas-baby."

And with that, Roxas shut the door and a slow smirk spread across Sora's face. The phone flew out of its cradle and Sora caught it expertly. Seven numbers, six words and fifteen minutes later, Riku was in Sora's bedroom and pounding him into the mattress.

Sora has the distinct feeling that Roxas was not going to be happy that he had laundry duty this week. Really, it was just payback for all the times Sora had to do laundry after Demyx had been over.

---

"What the hell is that? It looks like a monkey ingested paint, barfed and then some guy thought it was awesome so they put it up!"

Roxas had to hold his tiny paper cup of watered punch up to his face so that he wouldn't burst out laughing. He saw Naminé hit Axel out of the corner of his eye and he smiled.

"No, it kinda looks Jackson Pollock thought that giving a monkey paint so that he'd throw it up was a good idea. Has Xemnas been feeding Saix paint again?"

Roxas cringed visibly at the harsh voice. He was afraid to turn around because he knew that voice. It was a voice he had come to know intimately and it belonged to the only girl he was actually afraid of: Larxene. Roxas turned a little and saw a glimpse of gravity defying antennae and bleach blond hair.

He sipped his watered down punch and tried to drown out Naminé's calm voice and Larxene's loud one. Sometimes he really wondered why Naminé had to pick Larxene. It wasn't that he minded that she was lesbian—that would be stupid because he was gay—it was that Naminé couldn't pick someone nice and safe like Kairi or that pretty girl who was the muse of comic poetry. Sayla, was it? No, he was pretty sure it was Selphie. And he was pretty sure she was lesbian too.

"Jealous of artsy-fartsy and her girlfriend?"

Roxas scowled. At both the artsy-fartsy remark and the insinuation that he was jealous. He heard a chuckle as he felt the hot air on his neck and the thin, bony hands on his hips. A pair of thumbs hooked into his waistband and Roxas shivered.

"You're supposed to be looking at art, dumbass."
Another low chuckle, "I am. This piece of eye candy is definitely a work of art."

Roxas took a sip of his not-quite-punch (really, what did they do to this stuff?) and raised an eyebrow. The piece they were standing in front of was a chalked, pastel drawing of him. Naminé's work, he supposed. She never told him what pieces were going into these art shows, but there was usually at least one of him. Naminé said he made for a very aesthetically pleasing portrait or something.

Roxas turned to look at Axel.

"D'ya like spaghetti?"

It was a simple question and Roxas had zero idea why he asked it. Axel hummed a little and considered the question for a few moments before he answered.

"Only if it comes with a side of you. Why?"
Roxas shrugged, "I'm hungry. There's a diner about a block from here that serves kick-ass spaghetti."
"Bella Notte, right? Sure, we can go, but won't Naminé be angry?"
Roxas shook his head, "I mostly come to these to keep her company until Larxene gets here."
There was an extended silence. Roxas looked at Axel and blinked slowly.
"You okay, Axel?"
"Larxene? As in the god of chaos? As in Demyx's mother?"

Another silence. They both turned to look at Larxene, who was playfully tugging on Naminé's hair. They looked at each other before blinking and bursting out into laughter.

"I think lunch sounds like an excellent idea," Axel said suddenly, "shall we?"
Roxas grinned, "I knew there was a reason why Larxene never liked me. Lead the way!"

They said goodbye to Naminé, who simply smiled and told Roxas to wear a condom. He sputtered a little and Axel laughed before the two of them walked down the street to the diner. When they were seated, Axel grinned.

"What was that about?"
Roxas rolled his eyes, "Inside joke. My friend got me a couple boxes of condoms, some birth control and a pamphlet on pregnancy for my 18th birthday."

Axel nodded and his grin got wider. Roxas pretended to be very interested in what was on the menu. It was obviously a farce though, because the menu consisted of spaghetti, gelato and tiramisu. It also had six or seven kinds of speciality coffee on it, which Roxas wouldn't drink because he didn't drink coffee.

"Do you still have some of those condoms?"
"Demyx can answer that one. I couldn't walk straight for three days."
"Why did the two of you break up, anyways?"
Roxas shrugged, "I love Demyx, but he's a little too much like my brother. And as much as I love sex, the picnic table was a bit much."
Roxas smiled as the waiter came over to take their orders.
"What would you like today?"
"A full order of spaghetti and a strawberry Italian soda, please," Roxas said smoothly.
Axel looked at the menu for a second, "A full order of spaghetti and a lime soda."

The waitress nodded and left to place the order. She came back shortly with their drinks and Roxas thanked her. Axel swirled the straw in his drink around.

"So. No sex on picnic tables, no coffee and no seafood . . . Anything else I should know about?"
Roxas grinned, "I don't like bottoming."

Axel nodded, as if taking this into consideration. The waitress returned with their spaghetti and Roxas simply looked at it for a second. He sighed before picking up his fork and twirling some spaghetti aimlessly. He didn't pick the fork up to eat.

"And I hate Lady and the Tramp."
Axel blinked, that was certainly odd, "Why?"
Roxas shrug, "I've never been able to do the spaghetti thing and I always wanted to. Demyx sat through a whole afternoon of trying once. Then we gave up and had sex."

There was a slight look of hurt on Axel's face at the mention of Demyx and sex together in the same sentence. He picked up a fork and twirled some spaghetti around before looking up at Roxas. He held up the fork and smiled softly.

"Wanna try one more time?"

Roxas raised an eyebrow, but picked up a noodle. Axel did the same after clearing off his fork. Somehow, probably with a little magic on Axel's part, a single noodle hung between them. Roxas seemed a little surprised as Axel inched along the noodle until his lips met Roxas'. It was a quick kiss, but it made Roxas blush. He took a sip of his drink to hide his embarrassment.

"I think I maybe kinda love you."

---

Sora knew. Sora had probably known from the very first time he had called Axel to give him Roxas-catching tips. Roxas couldn't hide anything from his twin. Ever. Sora also knew that over the course of four months, Roxas and Axel went out on a handful more dates and they had to be the most patient people ever. Nothing past cheesy love songs and clandestine kisses was exchanged. For horny, young boys they certainly had the patience of saints.

Riku kisses all of Sora's worries away though. And, unlike his previous boyfriends, Riku remembered things like Sora's birthday, his favourite food, what kinds of flowers he liked . . . All the little things that made Sora feel loved and love Riku all the more.

But back to Roxas. Demyx was worried about him too, although for a slightly different reason. Demyx was worried because Axel only had a year on Earth and six months of it had already gone by. He had figured the Axel-Roxas thing would be a quick fling. One, maybe two months. A couple rounds of mind-blowing sex and they never spoke to each other again. At the rate this was going though, the whole situation was going to turn out messy. Very, very messy.

Then again, it was already a clusterfuck of bad mojo. Callista still didn't like that Roxas was dating the sun god. Zexion dating Demyx she had no problem with, but the sun god? Oh, that was a big no-go. It just could not be done. Gods did not mix with muses.

Roxas really wanted to strangle her sometimes.

---

"So," Axel said suddenly, "are all the muses gay?"

Roxas shook his head and responded without looking up, "Cloud, the astronomy muse, is pretty damn asexual. It's traditional for muses to be either big flaming homos or asexual though. Mostly because they used to be only girls and girls making out is just somehow inspiring to guys or something."

"More like the Greeks were into homo eroticism."

Sora set a plate of cookies on the table. They were located at the kitchen area in Roxas and Sora's apartment. Roxas was working on something, probably an essay for one of his classes. Axel was picking at the plate of cookies Sora had just put on the table. They were peanut butter and almond.

"How do the new muses become muses then? I know you guys eventually retire after a couple hundred years . . . But who replaces you if you're all homos?"

Sora put another plate of cookies down. These were lemon orange sugar cookies.

"They get the demigods who aren't gay to make babies and choose us out of the lot, duh."
Roxas snatched a cookie, "We only officially became muses when we turned 18."
"Which wasn't too long ago. Weren't you at the ceremony, Axel?"

While Axel made faces at the new plate of cookies—he wasn't one for sweets and especially not what Sora deemed "things I'm testing"—Roxas kept typing and snatching cookies without looking. He seemed to like the lemon orange ones the best.

"I don't think I was there, I might've skipped it to party with some demigods or something. Is that why you guys seem to only date in the circle of gods?"
Sora shook his head, "That's just because it's easier that way. Roxas in particular has trouble keeping his powers under wraps and it's kinda difficult to explain magic stuff away."
"Like you should talk! Do you remember the time when you were dating Green Tea and you made the cup explode because he badmouthed Demyx?"

Axel blinked as Sora pouted and started arguing with Roxas over the details of the incident.

"Green . . . Tea?"
Roxas shrugged, "Guy drank more green tea than we do when we have to go visit our relatives in Japan. Like hell if I remember his name!"
"It was Shigure."
"Oh, right. And then you found out that his family was a bunch of freaks!"
"I still kinda wonder why I didn't know about them and that they turned into animals. You'd think that'd be part of Identification class."
"I still wonder why he didn't turn into a dog when you hugged him."
"Idiot! It was only members of the opposite gender!"

There was more blank staring from Axel and more bickering between the twins. It felt really weird to sit between two brothers who knew everything about each other. Especially when the conversation turned to past boyfriends. He sighed and Roxas gave him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I slept with Hypnos once."
Axel groaned, "How is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"It was," Roxas said matter-of-factly, "the worst sex I've ever had. I fell asleep. Weirdest shit ever."

Before Roxas had a chance to say anything else, Axel leaned over and kissed him.

"Mine. Okay?"

As he pulled away, Roxas pulled him back and they were well on their way to a hot, steamy make-out session until Sora slammed another plate of cookies (mint chocolate shortbread this time) on the table and coughed loudly. Roxas rolled his eyes and spoke two words.

"Listerine Breath."

Sora gasped and threw the oven mitt he had been wearing at Roxas. He slammed his palms on the table and huffed.

"That was an accident. How was I supposed to know you were sleeping in that tree?"

A slow blink from Axel. As the two twins argued, Axel tried to put a timeline together in his head. And then he realised that Sora had way too many fucking boyfriends to even count so he was better off just not trying. As far as Axel knew though, Roxas had only slept with Demyx and (apparently, Axel wasn't sure if there was actual sex involved or not) Hypnos. Probably, and Axel was only guessing at this, he'd slept with Riku too at some point. There had to be a reason for the deep and intense hatred between them. Actually, deep and intense hatred on Roxas' part. Utter fear on Riku's part.

It couldn't all be accounted for by Roxas hating Herbal Essence commercials with an undying passion. He had to have first-hand knowledge of how those quicksilver lips worked. Or some shit like that. Maybe Riku gave really bad head? Whatever. Roxas was kissing him again, he didn't need to think any more. But then again, maybe he did because Sora was coughing again. Oops?

"This is going to end like that time you threw Demyx against the wall and fucked him. In the middle of dinner. Do you know how scarring that was?"

Axel chuckled and Roxas groaned before banging his head against the keyboard.

"You fucked Demyx against a wall? In front of your brother?"
Roxas banged his head against the keyboard and groaned, "Maybe."
"What do you mean maybe? You just threw him against a wall and before I knew what was happening I had to hide under the table cover my ears, and pray to Zeus that it would all end soon! God, do you know how much Demyx screams?"

As Sora started to rant about how much Roxas scarred him and Roxas started to yell back about four years of stained sheets, failed tests and sleepless nights, Axel shook his head. They were both completely and utterly batshit insane. Who up and fucked their boyfriend in the middle of dinner? Secretly, Axel kinda wished Roxas would do that though. Colour him kinky, but the aggression of wall sex was hot. Actually, all aggression was hot.

Never mind that Axel was eight or nine inches taller than Roxas. He had heard that Zexion did it to Demyx once, so it was entirely possible.

And Axel was rudely snapped out of his sexy little daydream by a frustrated noise and a hand clamping around his wrist and pulling him in for a rough kiss. As he made out with Roxas, there was another frustrated noise and Axel swore he felt a cookie bounce off his head but he totally didn't think about it for more than half a second because there was a hands snaking between them and—

"ARRRRRRRRRRRGH, ROXAS I HATE YOUR GUTS!"

There was a distinctive smirk-y quality to the kiss as Sora stormed out of the apartment and screamed things (with a unhealthy dose of profanity, Axel hadn't known that Sora like the word clusterfuck so much) at the top of his lungs. It was a wonder no one came to check out what had happened. Then again, Sora and Roxas had been living here for a few years already and they were probably all used to it. This probably happened all he time.

Roxas pulled away for air—his cheeks were the tiniest bit flushed—and walked over to the front door, which he locked. He spun around and looked at Axel, who was just the slightest bit dazed right now.

"Peace. And. Quiet. I'm going to finish my essay now."

Axel slumped forward on the table and groaned. An essay was more important than him? An essay? Oh, how could Roxas be so—holy fuck what was that.

"But first, I think I should probably study for my anatomy final."

---

"I. Hate. My. Fucking. Brother."

Zexion raised an eyebrow at Sora's sentence. Each word was punctuated with a bang! against the table and Demyx looked more than a little worried. Zexion sighed and got out a can of ravioli.

Demyx placed a hand on Sora's shoulder, "Wanna talk about it?"
Sora didn't seem to notice, "Fucking. Piece. Of. Shit."

At the new series of bang! punctuated words, Zexion rethought the can of ravioli and found the package of sweet, red bean paste they kept in the pantry for dire occasions. Sora was muttering things that were punctuated with more head trauma now. Zexion thought for a second and got the can of ravioli back out too. Demyx looked up and nodded in approval.

"Hey, Sora, eat some bean paste. It'll make you feel better."

Sora grabbed the block of sweet paste and wolfed it down. An entire 8 ounce block of sickeningly sweet red bean paste gone in, like, a minute. Maybe. And then he finished the entire can of ravioli off with aggressive stabs and much hand motion. After that, though, Sora was finally calmed down and was no longer inflicting large amounts of head trauma upon himself. That was a good sign, so Demyx tried one more time to get the boy to talk.

"Wanna talk about it?"
Sora growled and glared at Demyx, "Scarring for life. Sex. Dinner."
Demyx laughed nervously, "You're not still mad about that, are you?"

Zexion raised an eyebrow. Demyx gave him a look that said I'll explain later. Sora sunk his head onto the table and sighed.

"Middle of dinner," he hissed, "middle of fucking dinner."
"Look, it's not like I could stop him and say 'hey, this probably isn't such a good idea' in the middle of the ravishing. I was kinda preoccupied and, like, Roxas is like a panther when he pounces."
A vague and unintelligble hand motion, "Sanity go pouf!"
"What brought this up, anyway? That was, like, four years ago!"
"Pouf! Bye-bye sanity, nice to know you—yes?"

Sora went on talking to himself and Demyx shook his head. He stood up and motioned for Zexion to follow him. They walked into the hallway between their room and Axel's. Demyx leaned against the wall and looked at Sora. He sighed.

"Did I ever tell you that Roxas fucked me against a wall during dinner once?"
Zexion raised an eyebrow, "No. It doesn't come up often in normal conversation."
"Well he did. And it kinda scarred Sora, but he got better and I don't know what – oh fuck."
Zexion looked at Demyx, "I'm not going to fuck you during dinner."
"No," Demyx said frantically, "no. Not that! Fucking Axel, he's going to fuck everything up!"
A calm, calculated response, "Exactly how is he going to fuck things up this time?"

Demyx didn't answer. He whipped out his cellphone and hit number 8. There's some silence before someone picks up and Demyx starts hissing and yelling.

"The fuck are you thinking, screwing around with Roxas? I don't care if you love him, you're going to break him . . . Fucking muse of tragedy. Of all the fucking muses to pick? You picked the worst. Excellent choice, you know . . . This is going to cause a clusterfuck of trouble and I get to clean it up when you're gone. Gee, you're an excellent friend . . . That's a fucking lie! You know they'll never let you—oh fuck no. You're not taking him up there, they'll eat him wh—no, I don't want to fuck Roxas. I want you to realise that breaking— yes breaking it—what are you, seven? This is not a—yes, I'm aware that you're older. That has—let me fucking finish! Yes, I agree that your love for Roxas is pure. But you don't get it. Roxas isn't like them. He's glass, you have to treat him like it!"

There was a low growl that probably would've been sexy if Demyx hadn't looked like he was going to kill something. Zexion stepped forward, quietly tangled their fingers together and pressed a soft kiss into the crook of Demyx's neck. He felt Demyx relax just a little, but he was still nearly crushing the phone.

Zexion wrapped his free arm around Demyx's waist and pulled him a little closer. Demyx loosened his grip on the phone as Zexion whispered sweet nothings into his ear before gently taking the phone and slipping it into Demyx's back pocket.

"I love you. Remember."

---

Axel slumped against the wall and smiled bittersweetly. Roxas was in the kitchen area with his headphones on and was typing away at whatever he was working on. He sighed. Demyx was, essentially, right. In six months, he was leaving and very likely never coming back. But . . . As much as part of him wanted to listen to reason, all of him just wanted to buy flowers for Roxas and hold him close. He never was good at listening to reason. And hey, if he got good head out it he wasn't complaining.

Still. Could he really do that to Roxas? He loved the kid, sweetest thing ever. Wait—no, not the sweetest thing but certainly the cutest. And the most fuckable—whoa, stopping that train of thought right there. But yeah. He loved Roxas and when you loved a person, you did what was best for them . . . Right? But what if the best thing hurts them more than the not-so-best thing?

Then what do you do? Axel sighed again. Stay with Roxas or ditch him so he'd be happier later? Not big decision there. He was gonna stay with Roxas because he loved him. Moments of now versus happiness (and even that wasn't for sure) later. Eventually, he'd have to leave but if he could have just a handful moments and memories, however small . . . Well, that was enough for him. Besides, he had a feeling that Roxas wouldn't forget him even if he did leave and then he might try to sleep with Hypnos again and for some reason, Axel just couldn't bear that thought.

He wanted to be the one making Roxas scream. Or the other way around. Probably the other way around. Axel pushed off the wall and walked over to Roxas, wrapping his arms around Roxas' neck. Roxas slipped his headphones off and craned his neck to look at Axel.

"Something wrong, Axel?"

Axel just nuzzled Roxas' neck and didn't say anything. Roxas shifted entirely to look at Axel.

"Let me rephrase that. What's wrong, Axel?"
A pause, "Would you be mad if I left?"
"Yes . . . Why?"
A longer pause, "Because I'm leaving in six months."
"What kind of leaving?"
An even longer pause, "The I might never be back kind."

Roxas pulled Axel as close as the position they were in allowed him to. He whispered into Axel's ear.

"I fucking hate you. Let's make the best of the time we do have though."

And Axel just couldn't say anything as those slender fingers danced around his waist. He could faintly hear some song about time playing on Roxas' headphones and made a mental note to chide the boy about the volume. All thoughts were quickly forgotten as the hands slowly slid his shirt up.

---

A noise of disbelief, "Is your entire family this crazy?"
Sora rolled his eyes, "Duh. You met a lot of them on that trip to Japan, you know that."

Riku just shook his head and sighed. He was being forced to look over old scrapbooks with Sora while they waited for Roxas to call and tell them it was safe to enter the apartment again. Something about sex and fights and mental scarring. Demyx had dropped Sora off and told Riku to keep him entertained or something. He kept thinking that there were so many better things they could be doing, but Cloud was in the apartment and he had nearly skinned Riku alive the last time Riku'd had sex while he was still in the vicinity. Riku liked his skin, thank you very much.

So Riku was stuck looking at completely cracktastic scrapbooks that he was pretty sure only showcased exactly how completely weird Sora's family was. Only crazy people had scrapbook pages devoted to their children's first boyfriend. Then again, only crazy people scrapbook. And Sora's mother was most definitely crazy because only crazy mothers tell their sons not to stay up too late reading porn and disregard the fact that there is porn being read.

And holy crap, was that Sora in drag? Wow. It was. Crazy family, for sure. Riku looked closer at the page and blinked. That boy in the photo looked familiar . . . He blinked again.

"Roxas had brown hair when he was little?"

Sora gave him a dude, you're retarded look.

"Do you seriously not remember anything about when we were little, Riku? You were only like my mom's third son. Do we need to get your head checked?"

Riku shook his head, "Roxas so did not have brown hair."
"Yeah," Sora said flatly, "he did. We are twins and we did look identical at one point."
"What the hell happened?"

Sora gave him another dude, you're retarded look.

"He bleaches it. You didn't know that?"

Riku looked shocked. Sora shook his head and flipped a couple more pages, looking for something specific. He pointed to a slightly faded photo of a very disgruntled little Roxas being hugged by a ecstatic little Sora who was making a peace sign. Roxas very definitely had light brown hair, just like Sora. Riku blinked again.

"Your hair was lighter."

Sora just nodded before flipping a few more pages and pointing again. This time, it was a photo of two teenage boys. Riku squinted and groaned.

"You did not keep that photo. I though I said I wanted it burned."
"Thank Roxas," Sora giggled, "he gave it to my mother."
Riku sighed, "Of course it was him. He set me up, I swear."

---

Axel woke up and looked at the alarm clock. It was 4 in the afternoon and he was kinda glad that it was a Saturday and that meant Roxas didn't have any classes because he probably would've been dead for letting him oversleep if it hadn't been. Roxas was sleeping though, neatly curled up and looking a lot more innocent than he actually was. Axel should know.

He supposed he should probably wake Roxas up. So he shook Roxas slightly and finally learned why Roxas didn't respond well to waking up. Roxas flailed and fell off the bed before pulling himself up and glaring at Axel. Roxas held out his hand and Axel tossed Roxas' pants over. They hit his head, and he peeled them off before digging through the pockets and producing his cellphone.

Five minutes of rolled eyes and patient apology later, Roxas shut his phone, crawled back into bed and hugged Axel.

"Promise me you'll come back."
"You know I can't promise that, Roxas-baby."
"Please. I don't think I can handle eternity with Riku and Sora. They'll give me diabetes."
A soft chuckle, "I love you, you know that Roxas-baby?"
"I love you too, Axel."

And when there was the turn of the key in a lock soon after, Roxas swore rather colourfully and scrambled to put his pants back on—Axel did too. And they were clothed when Sora stomped into the room, ranting and raving in Latin. Axel was pretty sure there was a healthy smattering of Japanese there too. Maybe some other languages, but he didn't need to know what Sora was saying to tell that he was very upset and very mad.

He heard Riku's smooth voice trying to calm Sora down before he saw them enter the room. When Riku and Sora did enter the room, Riku hugged Sora from behind and whispered something to him. Axel didn't quite catch it. Sora calmed down, but just a little, and settled for a glare that would freeze over hell. It certainly froze Axel's brain over, which was close enough. Honestly, he hadn't known that Sora had it in him to glare like that. The boy was so saccharine sweet that it hurt sometimes. But there he was, giving his brother's boyfriend an amazingly effective and scary glare. Axel made a small metal note to try and not piss off Sora again.

"Sora," Roxas said flatly, "please refrain from glaring at my boyfriend so that I may refrain from tormenting your boyfriend in good conscience. As much as I may enjoy it."

So Sora pouted instead. Which everyone was incredibly aware Sora could do, so they all ignored him. That way, they wouldn't be affected by the pout. Roxas was immune, but he still didn't like seeing his brother pout because it still had an emotional effect on him.

Life was back to normal. Or so it seemed.

---

From there, Roxas and Axel's relationship basically exploded into something a lot less G and a lot more NC-17. It was a desperate show of how much they needed (wanted?) each other to be sane (stable?) in their crazy little world. It was a spiral. An extremely deadly, fast, downward spiral that threatened to end in a fatal crash.

No one stopped them. Really, what could they do? Sora and Demyx figured that the unhappiness between them wouldn't be worth the slim hope that staying together offered. Riku and Zexion trusted their respective boyfriends in matters involving Roxas. Although, even they admitted that Roxas (like tragedy) was entirely unpredictable in some cases. Case in point? The current royally fucked up situation.

It should be said that during this period of time, Roxas and Axel did do normal-couple, non-sex, date-type things too. Naminé had a couple of art shows during which Larxene was always present and always scared the shit out of them because she was simply . . . Well, a crazy bitch. But Naminé really liked her and so Roxas and Axel still went to the art shows and endured verbal abuse. Mostly centred around the fact that she hated their guts and she sincerely wished they would die in a ditch somewhere. Regardless of the small detail that they were immortal. Larxene would find a way. Larxene always found a way.

They also ate spaghetti, which was now their (un)official couple-food. They ate it about once a week, give or take. Sometimes they fed each other. Sometimes, they shared. Sometimes, Riku and Sora tagged along. Sometimes, Zexion and Demyx. Mostly, though, they stayed together and fell deeper in love. Or something equally sappy.

Sora and Riku often stayed at Demyx and Zexion's place to give Roxas and Axel some space. And to have sex, but that was just a small, added bonus. No, really. So what if Sora could be an amazingly bipolar person sometimes? At least he still cared for his brother. Some of the time. Okay, it was mostly for sex.

The real kicker though was that Callista, finally once and for all, accepted that she simply would not be able to break apart the dynamic duo that was Roxas and Axel. So she sighed and started tugging gently on a few strings to see if she couldn't make Roxas happy for eternity. She actually liked him best out of all the muses, even though she gave him he most crap. And she really wanted to see him happy. Which was why she had tried to break them up in the first place.

Roxas, in true Roxas form, still worked at the bar in the kiddie park from Wednesday to Sunday officially. In reality, he could almost always be found working at the bar if he couldn't to be found anywhere else. Xehanort yelled at him from time to time and usually threatened to fire him at least once a month. No one actually believed Xehanort, because everyone who frequented the bar liked Roxas best. He had always talked to customers and sometimes he even had a smile for the weary. He liked to smile more (smile at all, Sora said wryly), now that Axel was around.

But it was still troublesome, the whole situation. No one had a clear solution, one that would give everyone a perfect (to whatever extent possible) storybook ending. There was no solution. So, in a way, they all played it by ear.

And what was once a pleasant sonata ended in a terribly discordant, off-key finale. Roxas went to bed with Axel beside him and in the morning, he was gone. Well, not just like that but he left pretty quickly. Roxas could still feel the kiss on his lips for weeks.

There were absolutely no tears on Roxas' part, which was almost surprising, and he refused to eat. He didn't sleep. And, for an entire week, he wouldn't really talk to anyone either. Everyone was really worried and not in a "I'm only doing this because I'm somewhat annoyed by your emo" way. Which was odd in and of itself.

And somewhere, in the midst of all the oppressive emo Roxas radiated, Callista told him that (if you really try hard) you could see the sun god in the sunset. That was the beginning of the pathetic little existence Roxas lived now. Roxas lived every day for a measly 2.5 seconds at sunset.

Wake up. Wash up. Dress up. Fill up. Drive up. Sit up. Learn, if applicable. Then, school work. House work. No work. Real work. Sunset Hill like usual.

Sleep, become coherent, repeat.

---

The teachers were vaguely bothered by all of this, but Roxas made up for that week of work he missed and was generally a very model student. You couldn't fault him for being a model student, even if he was having home problems. Roxas did the perilous dance of depressed and quite unhappy and everyone tried to make him forget.

Forget. What did that even mean? Forget the best friend he'd made in a long while? Forget the happiest he'd been in a long while? Forget all the memories that lingered everywhere? Forget the best fucking year he'd ever had? Roxas laughed at the word forget. The muse of tragedy was always the most volatile of all. Always.

---

Unbeknownst to everyone, Callista and Axel were doing their best to negotiate a deal with Zeus. It was a long and arduous process that was inherently frustrating because Zeus was a big jackass. Callista tended not only to fly off the handle, but toss the whole damn pan across the room when she was having a fit. It took them a few (four, FOUR FUCKING YEARS, was not a few), but Zeus suddenly realised that the tragic little beauty Roxas was flat-out neglecting his duties, Axel was, Callista was and the world was less inspired for it. Stupid mortals and their need for inspiration to thrive. He had to give in. Just had to—for the safety of the world's imagination. Although, for a few brief moments, he contemplated just sacking all these disobedient and disruptive muses for new ones.

But this was all on the down-low. On the outside, everyone acted as if they had moved on. Forgotten. Roxas excluded, of course. Sometimes, they mentioned him in passing. Roxas always got that far-off look in his eyes when that happened. As if he were astro-projecting to a land of memory, a land where no one could reach him.

And, on Sunset Hill, Roxas sometimes stared at the sky until it was dark and the stars came out. Then Xehanort usually came out to yell at him for staying out and chasing the customers away by looking like a bum, so could he at least work another shift? Roxas always snapped out of his trance then.

"Yeah, sure."

It was a distant answer. If someone has asked Roxas to kill a puppy for dinner he would've said the same thing he said to Xehanort.

"Yeah, sure."

Farther. Farther. Father. Gone.

---

"I'm worried. About Roxas."

Sora was staring at Riku, wide-eyed and questioning. Riku sighed, even he was—oh god, was he really even thinking him? Yes. He was thinking about Roxas. He was worried about Roxas. Roxas needed to be worried about, he was off in a permanent dreamland. Couldn't worry about himself, right?

Softly, "Everyone is, Sora. Everyone is."

And it was true. It really was. Everyone was worried about Roxas because the team (and they were a team, even if they sometimes didn't act like it) just really couldn't function if one of their members was more depressing that necessary. He had to be a little depressing—and he normally was a little depressing—but now it was becoming just a little overkill. Not eating or sleeping or even talking for long periods of time and wandering around in a daze was . . . Well, it was getting kinda annoying to tell the truth.

Sora was looking out the window now, staring actually. Riku knew better than to ask questions when Sora was staring off. Because Sora did it a lot and it usually meant that he had an idea. It wasn't always a good idea, need he be reminded that one drunken night was started with a stare out the window and everyone refused to talk about it now? But sometimes it was a good idea. Sometimes. Very rarely.

An epiphany, "I have to talk to Callista."

Sora stood up abruptly and ran out the apartment. Riku was used to this too. Sora's ideas were almost always followed by running and leaving the person he had been talking to (or in the general vicinity with) in the dust. Riku was used to a lot of things Sora did. They tended to happen often.

---

Sora flew into Callista's apartment and waved his hands around wildly for a few moments before she noticed him and blinked. Once. Twice.

"Yes, Sora?"
"Callista! Callistaaaaa, you have to do something! You just have to!"
"Do something about what? Slow down."

Sora took a very exaggerated breath to satisfy Callista and attempted, with limited success, to slow down. And use nouns before pronouns. Being the muse of rhetoric had its downside . . . Namely, the expectation that everyone would simply know what you were talking about.

"Roxas. Axel. Romeo and Juliet. You have to do something, you just have to! I don't want my big brother to die because he's too much of an idiot to do the research and find out if Axel is really dead or not!"

Callista smiled slowly and motioned for Sora to come forward. He did, and she sat him down on her lap like the small child he tended to be. He blinked, and she smiled a little more. It was quite mischievous this time, not the comforting one she had earlier.

"What makes you think I haven't already done something, hm? When have you ever known me to do nothing when it comes to this team? We're a family, and I'm the mother."
Sora shrugged, "You didn't do anything when everyone thought Roxas was a girl."
"That," she said pointedly, "was good, clean fun. This is serious."

Sora looked at her. She wasn't smiling any more. Callista looked almost . . . Sad. Like this was all so very out-of-control now and it needed to be stopped. Sora sighed, he hoped she could do something. Or that whatever she had already done actually worked.

"Can you keep a secret, Polly?"
A shrug, "Depends on what kind of secret, Cally."
"The kind about your big brother, of course. Is there any other kind?"
"Of course I can keep that kind."

Sora smiled faintly at her. Even though they were using elementary school nicknames that were almost a joke between them now . . . This was serious. But they didn't have to be completely serious, so long as they knew it was serious. All work and no play a very bad muse makes.

"Good," Callista said softly, "then I can tell you about what I've been working on for these past four years."

---

Roxas sat down on Sunset Hill to watch the sunset. Like usual. The spot practically said "do not sit! Roxas' spot," anyway. It wasn't like people didn't notice when a person sat on the same hill in the same spot for four years, even if they didn't pay much attention. You didn't have to pay much attention to notice that sort of thing. He sighed.

---

"You can't be serious. Oh my god, you can't be serious."

Callista gave Sora a look which he didn't even notice because he was jumping around and spinning like a giddy schoolgirl who had just received a new puppy. And maybe a pony or a the latest Barbie doll that everyone was clamouring for. He was really excited, if the jumping and rather incoherent noises were any indication whatsoever. Callista just sighed and tried to calm him down a little so he wouldn't break anything, which she was sure he would do if she let him continue in this vein.

And she sighed when it didn't work, she could just call Riku and make him pick up his boyfriend. He could deal with the hyper ball of energy that Sora had become. She really hoped Roxas was calmer when he heard the news.

---

Roxas kinda just sat. The sunset had passed already, no big deal. Really. It was just one of those days. He stared out into the darkening scene before him and murmured slightly to himself. Dream-speak, incoherent musing. This kinda sucked.

It felt like an ending.

---

"Yes. Come pick him up. He's jumping around and generally being a rather huge pain in the ass . . . What do you mean what did I say? You'll know soon enough if you come pick him up. Just come and get him . . . Yes, he really is here . . . What? Just come already! You know where I live, liar. Use your damn powers if you don't! . . . Yes. Yes, I will wait . . . Okay, see you in a few minutes."

Callista hung up and rubbed her temples. God. Maybe she shouldn't have told him.

---

This really did feel like an ending. Like he'd never ever be able to see Axel in the sunset again. Which was silly, because Axel was the sun god and all, but he just couldn't shake the feeling. Well. He'd just sit out here until Xehanort came to yell or whatever. He didn't feel like facing people yet.

Axel, Axel. Wherefore are thou Axel?

---

"He looks like you just gave him coffee. No, make that a Diamond Dust. Or three."
"Well, I didn't."

Callista held her arms akimbo and stared at Riku. He was simply standing in the doorway and looking at Sora, who had calmed down a little and was now only spinning and dancing instead of jumping.

"Give him about an hour. He'll crash a little—do you have any orange juice?"
"Maybe. Why?"
"It usually causes him to crash faster."
"I'll check, but I don't ever eat breakfast so probably not. Can't you go pick some up at the store?"
"I don't really feel like it. I like making you suffer."

---

Roxas felt miserable, sitting on Sunset Hill, because he saw his one true love for exactly 2.5 seconds in a day. Couldn't touch him or talk him, just saw him. Trust the Sun God to leave the Muse of Tragedy after two days of mind-blowing sex. Bitch.

There hadn't even been bitter goodbyes or sickeningly sweet fare-thee-well's. It was more of a simple "fuck you, Axel" and "I love you too, Bunny Von Hophop" before they had gone to bed. Nothing cliché because Roxas couldn't handle it.

There was, however, a really long and heated goodnight kiss which almost lead to another round of mind-blowing sex but Axel really had to be going and he had already overstayed his welcome. But at least he made sure Roxas fell asleep. It was the last peaceful night of sleep he would have for a while, that was the very least Axel could do.

That goodbye kiss was not one of the 5 most passionate kisses, simply because Roxas bit Axel's lower lip. Gently, of course. It wasn't a sign of dominance, though Roxas would say so later, but a tiny reminder. And then, Roxas woke up without Axel in the space next to him. It was still warm.

Roxas sighed and closed his eyes before calling out softly.

"Come back to me, Axel . . ."

---

"Well, he's calm now."

Riku smirked at Callista. She had found an orange in her refrigerator and squeezed it into juice. Sora had crashed after he drank it. But his adrenaline or whatever had worn off too so he had simply yawned and was now curled up asleep on the couch. Callista tapped her foot impatiently. When was Riku going to take him away?

Her question was answered as Riku picked up Sora quiet easily and shifted him a little to redistribute the weight. Callista sighed, ruffling Sora's hair lightly and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead before Riku walked over to the door. She waved.

"I'll see you guys later."
"See you later, Callista."

And with that, Riku walked out and Callista sighed in relief. She shut the door, pushing the deadbolt and various locks back into place before slumping against the wall for a couple of seconds. She got up slowly and walked back over to the couch and collapsed. Such a tiring job, this was.

Some days, she hated being a muse.

---

Every sunset for four years, Roxas repeated that same simple phrase, "Come back to me, Axel," after the best 2.5 seconds of his day. Not because he was a hopeless romantic or anything, but because he felt like he could kill Riku just for the sappiness he spewed when he was with Sora.

Roxas fucking hated Riku, but he almost forgot about the jerkface when he was with Axel.

"Come back to me, Axel."

---

Riku set Sora down on his bed and looked at the clock. Roxas probably wouldn't be home for another couple of hours. At least, if what he thought was going to happen happened. He pushed back a errant strand of hair and kissed Sora's forehead.

"Sleep well, Pollyanna."

He laid down next to Sora and closed his eyes. Best to get some sleep before Roxas came back. If fate was right, he'd bring home Axel and Riku knew how that went. He was a light sleeper afterall.

---

Roxas said that stupid phrase over and over because everyone was so damn happy. Demyx had Zexion, Sora had Riku, Naminé had Larxene . . . Everybody had a somebody except him. But then again, Roxas was the physical manifestation of tragedy. His version of a happy ending was this piece of shit he dared to call a life. A mere 2.5 seconds of sheer joy in a day and the rest of it was really kinda crappy. Fucking Axel. Roxas stood up and yelled.

"Come back to me, Axel!"
"What, you thought I'd leave you forever?"

Roxas spun around to face what appeared to be a knight in shining, gold armour. He blinked a couple times before busting out into a completely uncharacteristic fit of giggles. The knight made a face. Or what was probably a face, it was hard to tell with the helmet still on.

"Is that how you should treat the love of your life who has spent the past four years slaving over securing a life with you on Earth, Bunny Von Hophop?"
Roxas snorted, "Only when they look as ridiculous as you!"

Axel removed the helmet he was wearing and shook his hair out. It was as fiery as the sun itself. Maybe that was just the lighting. Roxas didn't really care, because it was Axel. This wasn't a dream, right? Axel tucked the helmet under his arm like a formula one racer and Roxas laughed a little more. It couldn't be a dream, Axel would have changed into a monster or something by now. Roxas had only been having nightmares recently. Axel wrapped the arm that wasn't holding the helmet around Roxas and pulled him closer. Their noses touched.

A soft whisper, "Did you miss me?"
An equally soft reply, "Only as much as you missed me."

A small , secret smile from both of them and then finally, finally their lips met in an explosion of purple prose which might give the home audience diabetes. So we'll skip it because this author can't afford the lawsuits that might cause. Let's just say that everyone in this story lived happily ever after. Except, maybe, for Zeus because he lost the Sun God to a rather effeminate Muse who worked at a bar for 10$ an hour. But he got a replacement so it wasn't a total loss.

Well. Except the replacement was foul-mouthed and somewhat prone to causing eclipses due to his frequent loss of temper. Horses didn't like being rushed.

And the portion of the world covered in fog late at night increased. The cigarette the new sun god smoked, it seemed, was made from the same stuff used to make fog up in Olympus. Who knew? Destiny was weird like that. Life was weird like that.

---

And even though that sounds like the end of the story, it really isn't. Because, after all, muses, gods and demigods are immortal folk. Their stories stretch on forever. Stories in general tend to do that. This is all the stuff that happened after.

Life on Earth wasn't as hard as the humans made it out to be, Axel found out. In fact, he was quite content with living amongst humans as a former god. No, demoted god. Gods never really stopped being gods, they just had less and less power. Less and less responsibility. It wasn't like Axel couldn't still unlock doors with his mind and make a little magic happen.

And Roxas was grateful for that, if nothing else. Their life was good. Well, besides the occasional fight and major injury.

Axel, at Roxas' suggestion, became a race car driver to make up for Roxas' minimum wage. Something about it not quite being a chariot, but it would have to do. Roxas didn't think that Axel actually missed the chariot though. He always said that the horses bit and they didn't like people very much. But it didn't really matter, because Axel was an excellent race car driver and he was on Earth to stay. The pair leached off of Sora and Riku, the super-successful writer and Herbal Essence model, whenever money was a little tight. Which was more often than people would think because race car drivers only make so much and repairing cars costs money. Well, money was tight until Roxas mentioned that he he had been working in journalism on the side and had finally hit it big, that is. When questioned further, it turned out he had double majored and not told anyone. As a sort of . . . Back-up plan. Roxas was practical like that.

Demyx, on the other hand, became a famous, famous musician under a mysterious stage persona which must have been significantly different from his regular self because he continued to work at the record store. And people only very occasionally asked if he really was the mysterious stage persona. Even then, he just laughed at them and told them that no, of course not! Why would he be working at a record store, after all? If he had so much money, he didn't need the cash from selling records to teenagers that loitered too long and had sticky fingers.

But, truth be told, he really just liked selling records. And the shop didn't want to lose their oldest cashier (though he preferred expert) so he stayed. Even though he always found it really weird to sell his CD to people. Because it was a little weird.

It was really weird to sell his CD to Zexion though. Zexion, being the most sensible out of the muses and quite honestly the smartest, became a historian in Greek and Roman studies. His thoughtful and deep writings on those cultures shed new light on the area and he was widely proclaimed a true genius. Or a nutjob, it all depended on who you talked to. Not everyone was ready to accept the fact that muses could be just regular, ordinary people who happened to have certain amplified traits. Or that most demigods basically held 24/7 parties on Earth. Or that muses and the like could be your next door neighbour, your teacher, the girl you had a crush on.

That was just the sad truth of it. Poor mortals, their imaginations only stretched so far.

Naminé, like everyone always knew she would, became quite the famous artist. She was widely known for her unique ability to combine colour and sound into what she called "memory song." It was often explained by her as a memory which could be permanently burned into your brain through the sound and picture. Needless to say, these were very compelling.

Larxene supported Naminé throughout all of her efforts. She was also the primary reason why no one dared to say anything bad about Naminé, even though not everyone liked her work. After the first ten or twenty people that badmouthed the pretty blond disappeared, people caught on. Larxene, instead of getting a real job, collected alimony from that dude she got knocked up from until he died. Then she resigned herself to being Naminé's manager. Which she already was, but now she had the title all officially.

Basically, it was happy and perfect and the kind of storybook "ending" that Roxas found rather boring for the most part because everyone was immortal and the story never ended. There wasn't any variety. And he was the muse of tragedy, hello! He liked a little spice in his life. So one day, out of the blue, Axel up and told Roxas that they were going to go on a journey to anywhere in the world he wanted because he was getting tired of driving race cars. Roxas just laughed and he chose Olympus.

That's another story for another day, though.

---

Postit-Notes: I may hate this fic, but it was such an integral part of my life for about a year and it's like a baby. It even has a soundtrack! Anyway, I hope you liked it. I like it—mostly.

* Callista says "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." while Sora says "You know, Riku, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."