Hey guys. This is… completely different than what I normally write. To warn you, this story is rated M for (a) violent scene(s), rape, abuse, sex, severe language, and triggering themes. The first chapter isn't nearly as bad as what some of the flashbacks may end up being. I'm not sure whether I'm going to include them yet.. I already have them written, I just don't know if I'm comfortable enough to post them.

Note: I love Xigbar, I think he's awesome and I do not hate him. I don't hate any of the Organization members actually.. However, Xigbar fit the bill as abusive boyfriend better than any of the others. Weirdly enough I can't see Xigbar x Roxas in any other type of relationship though.. lol. This chapter is written in present tense (Except for the flashbacks) because it was easiest for me to write like that. I may or may not keep present tense; I normally find it hard to write in, but I felt this chapter was best written in present.

Read and review and tell me what you think.. I would like to know what you liked; what you disliked; and your opinions on the story line and my portrayal of the characters, especially Roxas. Thank you.

As I glare in the mirror, I cringe as I rinse the cover-up off the bruises on my face. Uncovering each one brings back the memories of why I received them, and why I need to leave. Quivering slightly with fright, yet knowing I have to be brave, I steel myself, preparing for what I am about to do. When the make-up is all off, I look in the mirror at my purple and swollen left eye; my yellowing cheek; and the rope burns around my neck. I grit my teeth, and walk into the hall. I check the doorway to see a familiar figure standing outside, and I feel just a bit braver. I ensure my bags are near the door, and, breathing deeply to calm myself, I walk into the living room. As I stand there staring for a moment, I remember when I'd first met him..

Flashback

I was at the supermarket, trying to find all the items on my list. When I looked down, I walked into something very warm and very solid. I glanced up, noting it was a person.

"Sorry," I murmured quickly, looking briefly at the man, then down to my list. When my brain had registered what it had seen, I stared back up slowly. I took in the long legs, first. Lord, his legs were long; his hips were around my waist area. I saw his slim waist, his expansive chest.. and then I saw his face. His golden eye was looking down at me in amusement.

"Uh," I murmured, and looked at the scar on his cheek. I wondered how he got it, and I wanted to touch it. I looked at the amused grin on his face, and flushed. I realised I was staring, but I couldn't help it.

"Well… my name's Xigbar," he said, and stuck his hand out to shake.

End Flashback

"I…" I start, quietly, pathetically. I know the other man did not hear me; I know he won't hear me if I don't speak up. Guess I`m still scared shitless. To comfort myself, I grasp the cell phone in my pocket and clutch it tightly, knowing that I only have to press talk and my help, who is currently waiting outside the door, will burst through the door. I don't want it to come to that though. I watch as the man in the chair drinks his disgusting beer, and smokes his disgusting, painful cigar.

"X-Xigbar, I'm leaving." I state loudly, forcing my shaky voice to be firm. The chair, previously rocking, freezes, and I force myself not to flinch in terror as it slowly turns around, revealing the smirk on that sadistic fuck's face.

"Why aren't you wearing your make-up, Roxas?"he growls lowly ignoring my statement, and gets up. I make myself stand still, refusing to show fear.

"I'm leaving." I repeat firmly, and resist shaking as he walks slowly closer to me. I can't let that bastard see how scared I am; I`m so close to getting out of this shithole. As Xigbar inches closer to me my lip twitches, like it always does when I'm nervous.

"No, you're not." He says simply, and anger and fear flare through me. I step forward, and glare up at this man whom I loved, honestly loved, yet I`ve been abused by him for the last three years of my life.

"Yes, Xigbar, I am." I state with more assertiveness than I feel. I`m expecting the slap to the face, so it doesn't bother me as much when it comes. The memory of the first time he hit me flashes through my brain.

Flashback: Dating, week four

I'm not sure what I'd done to make him angry. We were sitting in a restaurant on my twenty first birthday, waiting for our meal, and we got into an argument. I should have left when he slammed his fist down on the table. I should have left, right then and there. But I didn't. When we got to his place, I was barely in the door before he raised his hand to me and slapped me across the face.

"Don't fucking piss me off, Roxas," he snarled viciously, and I sat there, shell-shocked. I didn't know what had happened. Tears had welled in my eyes, and as soon as he saw them, his anger had dissipated.

"Shit.. Roxas I'm sorry," he had, what I know now, lied when he had said this. "I lost my temper baby… fuck I'm sorry, I won't do it again," he soothed, and I allowed him to coddle me. I really don't know why, but I stayed.

End Flashback

"Shut the fuck up, Roxas, you are not fucking leaving me." he snarls, and I can tell he`s holding himself back. He raises the fist with the cigar in it, and I flinch. Cigars hurt when they land in your face, trust me on that.

"I'm fucking leaving, Xigbar, and you can't stop me," I rush, "I loved you, for fuck's sake, and for three years you've beaten the piss out of me. I'm fucking done with it," I back away, ducking when the furious fucker throws his punch.

"I'm always going to fucking bring you back, you little bitch," he snarls, and pins me against the wall with one hand, "You. Are. Not. Leaving!" he screams right in my face, accentuating each word with a punch to my abdomen, burning through my clothes with his cigar. With each one I wince, but the last one is particularly hard, causing me to cry out in pain.

As soon as I do the door opens, and shouts are heard.

"Get the fuck off of him!"

"Get off!"

"Back the fuck off Man!"

Multiple voices roar and Xigbar looks to the door with shock as four police officers and my twin brother burst into the living room. He lands another punch to my face, effectively breaking my nose and leaving a round burn mark, before being pulled off me. I fall to the ground, tears falling and I`m trying to stop the bleeding from my nose. Sora's arms wrap around me, and I hear the sounds of Xigbar fighting back.

"You fucking bastard! I'm going to fucking find you and kill you, you little fuck!" he screams, and I look up at him. Tears are streaming down his face, and I just watch him.

"I fucking loved you and this is how you fucking pay me back?!" he screams, and I lose my temper. I stare at him in angry shock, and kick him in the shin from where I`m sitting.

"Loved me? Fucking loved me? You beat the fucking shit out of me on a fucking daily basis you sick fuck! No, I loved you, because I fucking stayed with you! You fucking prick!" I scream back, rising from my spot. I try furiously to start towards him only to have Sora's arms wrap around my waist and pick me up off the ground. When the hurt flashes in his eyes and his tears fall heavier, I instantly regret it, out of habit. I do still love him.. even though he's beaten me daily.. abused me.. hurt me.. I love him. You`ll say I`m stupid for it, but I do.. he`s the only person who has ever taken care of me..

"Put me down, put me down!" I cry, trying to break free, trying to get to him. I`m hurting him, I need to apologize. In my shocked stupor, I scream, and try to get to him.. After all.. he only beats me because he loves me.. right?

As I watch two police officer's escort him to their car, he fight and fights. Sora keeps his arms around me, and I slump against him as I cry, not really accepting what had occurred. I cry until I pass out in my twin's arms.

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think. Yes, I know Roxas is OOC for him. he`s meant to be. All of them really are.. You`ll see as the story unravels.

Love ya`ll, don't be a silent reader OwO