Seriously?

by Camille2

Ultimately, the story of a soul that was lost. Jack's soul.

1. Chapters 1 through 8

Title: "Seriously?" Author: Camille Summary: Ultimately, this is a story about the journey to find a soul that was lost. Jack's soul. Along the way, we'll have romance, sex, humor, drama, a little S/V angst, arguing between friends, blackmail, and a little game theory. We even have Francie spending a quarter and buying a clue. (Syd is the oblivious one this time.) I don't know how the story ended up this way. It started out as a simple 5-10 page S/V story from Will and Jack's point of view. It was supposed to just be a humorous little character piece on those two men and their often-interesting relationship as a way to get S/V together. A little bit of fluff. And then the story, like life, took an unexpected detour. Or two or maybe three. The first detour starts when Will puts his hand on Jack's shoulder in Chapter 2. (I swear Will did it all on his own, I had nothing to do with it!) You'll have to search for the other detours on your own.

Timeline: This starts after the Counteragent, but before the end of the Abduction. Then, we are in an alternate universe and timeline. Consider this piece a story arc during the course of a season; sometimes the particular plot line gets a lot of screen time and sometimes just a snippet.

Rating: R (original NC-17 version has been sent to Cover Me archive. Main difference will be in chapter 19, which is heavily edited here for this R version. Also some differences in chapter 33.)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Blah, blah. However, I feel compelled to point out that I wrote the bulk of this in late December. (You'll see why this is important at the end.) Really, the ending was my own idea.

Ship: Jack/Will, S/V N.B.: For those who have asked, I wrote story first, then found the quotations at the heading of each chapter.



I have no road ahead of me where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself.I seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. (Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude)

Chapter 1: And so it begins. "Life is like a game in which God shuffles the cards, the devil deals them, and we have to play the trumps." (Yugoslavian proverb)

Will Tippin knew he was being ridiculous for being proud of tracking down Jack Bristow. It's not like he was Sydney on a mission in some exotic location battling bad guys with esoteric electronica and brute force. It's not like Jack was hiding or anything and if he hadn't lost Jack's number, there would have no subterfuge at all. All he'd really had to do was ask Syd for her father's cell phone number under the pretext of wanting to loan him a book. Syd had looked at him a little funny, but with everything on her mind lately, just wrote down the number for the secure line without asking even one question. And actually, he loaned Jack lots of books. Hardly spy material, Tippin, he reminded himself. He was getting a little too caught up with being a teeny tiny cog in the CIA, just like he formerly was a little too enamored of himself as "Undercover Investigative Reporter" (in capital letters). After all, real life is not like a Dick Tracy comic strip. Real life doesn't come in day-glow colors and it hurts a lot more, especially if one were a Bristow.

The difficult part had been convincing Jack to meet with him. Between the CIA and SD6 and Irina, the guy had a pretty full plate. "I know you're a busy man and all, Jack, working to prevent global domination by the handmaidens of the devil, but."

Jack actually chuckled. Well, that was good. One thing Will had learned about Jack was that if you could access his sense of humor, you were more likely to get what you wanted. Fortunately for Will, Jack seemed to find him amusing at times. Well, to be honest, Jack seemed to find him amusing most of the time and not, Will knew, because his jokes were that funny.

"But I wanted to talk to you about Sydney. I'm worried about her."

That sobered Jack up quickly. There was silence on the other end of the line for a long moment. "Okay, Mr. Tippin, we'll meet. How about Sunday night? I'll pick you up at Sydney's. We'll go to Francie's restaurant. What is the name of that place, anyway?"

"Lunch."

"Lunch? What kind of name is that? Does she serve dinner?"

"Of course."

"That's not the best marketing strategy I've ever heard of. Anyway, if asked, you can tell the girls you harassed me into finally eating there. Syd keeps telling me I need to stop in to show my support to Francie. Humph. Afterwards we'll drive around or find some hole in the wall and you can explain yourself."

"Wow, Jack, that's quite a bit of free time you have on Sunday nights."

"Well, there's nothing good on tv that night anyway."

"Yeah, sure. I can't really see you sitting around watching tv."

"Well, actually Sunday night is the History Channel's 'Guns and Glory' night. I'm positively glued to the television for that."

"Was that an actual joke?"

"You have not yet received a security clearance high enough to know the answer to that question, Mr. Tippin. See you Sunday." Click.

Chapter 2: "In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time." (Edward P. Tryon)

Francie had almost dropped a full tray of dishes when Jack and Will walked into the restaurant. She had rushed over to ask if there was anything wrong with Syd and when Jack assured her they were just there to eat, she stared at him for a moment and said, "But why? And with Will?" "You do serve dinner here, do you not?" "Well, of course." "You wouldn't know that from the name of the restaurant, Francie. You might want to rethink that name. Anyway, we're hungry, you serve food. Seems like a simple equation to me," Jack said dryly. Will didn't think Francie got the joke and asked him later why he didn't just tell Francie that they wanted to help support her new venture and Jack gave him one of "those" glances.

"You know it wouldn't kill you to let people know you can be nice."

"Well, actually, it could, Tippin."

"Oh."

Over their meals, Jack and Will had their usual discussion about books. On Will's part, the conversation was a deliberate attempt to make true the lie he'd told to Syd. On Jack's part, it was a discussion about books. The lie was Will's after all, and such a minor one that Jack gave it no thought whatsoever; after all in the context of other lies, what was this one? After dinner, Jack and Will got back in Jack's car. By now Will knew better than to say anything until a Bristow pulled out some handy dandy piece of high tech anti-bugging equipment. Somehow he didn't think Jack was going to use a lipstick. Sure enough, Jack's electronica du jour was a card case, with working mini calculator. Will had to examine it; this stuff was really cool. Jack rolled his eyes and began driving while Will worked up his courage.

"Mr. Tippin, are you talking to yourself?"

"No, I'm just practicing what I want to say. Jack, I know I am not the best investigative reporter on the planet."

Jack actually cracked a smile, "Well, actually your stuff isn't half bad."

"Hey - isn't that what you told Sark in Taipei? I remember being so shocked when you said that." Will laughed.

"I'm surprised you remember hearing that."

"Unfortunately I seem to have near total recall for those days in hell. I wish I could forget them."

"We could have the CIA quacks help you lose those memories, or I could do it for you, if you wish, Mr. Tippin."

"Jack, first of all, the notion that you know how to selectively remove pieces of my memory is more than a little scary. Second, given what we've been through together - I ruined your clothes by bleeding all over them, after all, in Taipei -- I think we're really way past the point when you should be calling me Will."

"I suppose you do owe me a new coat. Now what is this conversation about?"

"Why did I track you down and why am I wasting your valuable time?" Will asked with a smile.

"Exactly."

"Well, as I said, I know that I am not always the most observant person." Jack disagreed, "Oh, I don't know, I don't think you give yourself enough credit." Will shrugged,"Thanks. But - have you noticed that Sydney seems different lately?"

"Different how?"

"Do you always answer a question with a question?"

"It's a good strategy in my line of work, in my life."

Will thought for a moment. He supposed it was a good strategy - define precisely what the other person wants so that you give away as little as possible and never make assumptions. But what a way to live. Cripes.

"Okay. I'll define 'different.' I understand that the stresses you and Syd face every day are way beyond anything I can imagine. And then we add Irina's return into the equation and I cannot even begin to fathom how either of you get up every morning and keep going. But since the changes in my own life, I think I have some inkling that you just keep waking up and facing life only a daily basis."

"That would be wrong, Mr - okay, Will. In our line of work, you can never think about just today. You always have to be thinking about the long term or you may not make it through today."

"That's what I am afraid of."

"What do you mean?" Jack straightened and Will knew that Jack was sensing something too.

"Am I right? Do you feel it too? Do you feel like Syd is just trying to get through each moment - that's she's not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel?"

Jack said nothing for a moment. "Continue, please. What are you seeing?" he asked as he pulled into the parking lot of a nondescript bar.

"I don't know - it just seems like there is this new layer to her stress. When she relaxes, there's almost a frenetic quality. She seems preoccupied all the time, but way beyond preoccupied, if that makes any sense."

Jack's gaze narrowed on him. "No, actually, it does make sense. I've noticed it too. But, well, let's be honest. My daughter has no reason to confide in me about her emotional life."

"Even though you are the one person who, given what I think the problem is, can understand her better than anyone else? The only person who can truly feel empathize?"

"That would be wishful thinking on my part, I'm afraid."

"Jack, I know you love Sydney more than anything. I see the pride in your face when you look at her. But, I know you two have had your problems." Jack turned away, of course. Discussions about emotions were always difficult for him.

"And you know those problems are my fault."

Will disagreed, "Well, not entirely." Jack's head jerked back around as Will continued, "One thing I have observed is that Sydney has a tendency to ignore what she doesn't want to deal with or avoid hearing things she doesn't want to hear."

"That makes a certain amount of sense, of course."

"Of course. The truth can hurt. But from my mindset, the reason why I do what I do or what I used to do for a living, the truth is necessary. It's always better to start with the truth."

"I don't know if I would agree with that."

"That's not a surprise. Syd said once that it's a gesture of love to deceive the people you care about in order to protect them. And in the case of Danny, for example, I see her point. But my point is that Sydney seems to be avoiding a truth she needs to deal with in order to protect herself from what she imagines will hurt."

"And that truth would be, what?"

"Well, there's probably two truths. The first one is Irina's motive for wanting Syd in her life." Jack snorted in response to Will's commentary. "But the second truth - the one I think may be the last straw and has caused this preoccupation, this new layer of stress -- is her relationship with Vaughn."

Jack's eyes opened a smidgen wider. "What do you know about that?"

"What do YOU know?"

"Do you want to trade information?"

"I think that's how we do it in both of our professions."

"True." They stared at each other for a moment and Will sighed.

"Okay, there's NO chance you're going to go first, is there?" Pause.

"That's a rhetorical question, Jack. I'll start. The first time I met Vaughn, I was surprised. All Syd said about him was that he was smart and wouldn't waste my time. Like my time is so valuable these days. Anyway, I was expecting someone like you. Older, battle-scarred, I guess. And instead, there's this relatively young guy who seems, well, like a nice guy, someone I might be friends with. Except for the fact that he was giving off all these territorial vibes about Sydney."

"Yes, he does do that."

"He does? Does anyone at the CIA notice?" Jack smiled slightly, but didn't answer.

"Okay, moving on. Are you aware that Syd and I accidentally met Vaughn and his quote unquote girlfriend in a bar a few days before Francie's surprise birthday party?"

"Yes. That must have been somewhat.uncomfortable."

"Uncomfortable? Uncomfortable? If you mean that as one of your typical vast understatements, Jack.and how did you know, anyway?"

"Vaughn sent an agent to pull the security camera tape from the club. Get on with the story already."

"So you saw the tape?"

"Of course."

"Of course?" Jack raised an eyebrow. Maybe Will did not want to know just how Jack knew what he knew.

"I'd be interested in your description of the..event. I could see Syd's face but not Vaughn's. You were in the way of the camera angle."

It was Will's turn to snort. "Sorry. If I had known, I was being taped for Jack Bristow's later viewing, I'd have moved over."

"Focus, Mr. Tippin? Sarcasm is neither necessary nor desirable at this juncture."

"Well, I suppose you had to see both of their faces. And actually, although I know Syd well enough to read when she's feeling pain, it was the look on Vaughn's face that stopped me cold." Will stopped and was the one to look away, in embarrassment.

"Go on."

"This is somewhat embarrassing for me, Jack, but for a while last year I felt I was in love with Sydney." Will paused as Jack rolled his eyes. "You knew that, didn't you? Sometimes you really creep me out."

"Is this story about you or my daughter?"

"Okay! And then when I found out about the CIA and then SD6, I still felt like I was in love with her. But eventually I realized that I do love her, but as a friend." Jack looked at Will skeptically. Was Will really over Sydney? He hoped so, they would never have been a viable couple. Tippin needed someone to take charge of him, prevent those flights of imagination from killing him; while Syd needed someone like, well, like Vaughn or the man Vaughn would become when he started to learn a few more of life lessons. "Jack, pay attention here, I'm spilling my guts about how I thought I was in love with Syd. Let me tell you, the whole time I thought I was IN love with her, I never gave her a look like the kind Vaughn gave her. It was so..intimate, so pained...I felt like I was intruding just by being in the same room with the two of them. Any fool could see how he felt about her. And in front of his girlfriend, no less."

"Ah yes, THE look."

"You know the look?"

"Everyone knows THE look. But in front of Alice? For God's sake, the man is an agent and he did not control his emotions in public? What was he thinking? What am I saying? He's hopeless."

"Yeah, that's what I told him."

"You told him? You had a conversation with him about it?"

"Of course. It doesn't bother me to ask nosy questions, after all. When I couldn't get anything out of Syd that night after we left the bar, I decided to just ask him the next time I saw him for a contact."

"You tried and failed with Sydney, so you thought you'd try Vaughn? Good instincts. I begin to see why you were, are, a reporter. You have my attention, Will. What happened at this contact?"

Will tried to describe for Jack as best he could. Vaughn had called him to give him his test results. Although eager to hear them, he found that he was almost as eager to see if Vaughn was just going to ignore the last contact in the bar. He had a feeling the older man would do exactly that, but he was determined not to let him. Vaughn had good news for Will on the test results and spent a while telling him the next steps. Vaughn spoke almost in a monologue and then hurried at the end, asking quickly if Will had any questions.

Here Jack interrupted with a chuckle, "That was a mistake, asking YOU if you had any questions."

Will countered, "One of many, in my opinion."

"I'll second that." Jack concurred.

"So, I said, 'Yeah, I've got a question. How long have you been in love with Sydney?'"

Jack choked. "You're kidding?" He laughed, hard.

"Nah, I told you - I ask obnoxious questions for a living, or at least I used to. Anyway, while he stared at me with this look of total shock -"

"You mean, he didn't stare down at his feet?"

"Well, actually, he did. I said, 'So, if you're in love with Sydney, why are you with this other woman?'"

"Ah, yes, the $64,000 question. What did he say?"

"He asked, 'How did you know that I'm in?" and then stopped himself. I just waited. And then he said,"

"Let me guess, something along the lines of, 'This conversation is as inappropriate as a relationship between an asset and her handler'?"

"You got it. And I told him that what I felt was inappropriate was that he could look at Sydney like she was the last drop of water left in the desert and he was dying of thirst and then go on a date with someone else. I also said that he was kidding only himself if he thought the relationship between him and Syd was merely that of an asset and her handler. That no man looks at someone who is just a coworker like that."

Jack began chuckling, "I think I'm starting to like you more and more, Will."

"Moreover, I said, didn't Alice notice the look? And was it fair to her?"

"Good questions. Really good questions."

"You think so?" Jack Bristow was complimenting him?

"Vaughn is confused. He needs someone to ask him those questions, since Syd is apparently not doing so. Maybe you are a good choice."

"Confused about what? It seems pretty clear to me."

"To me, too. But unlike Vaughn, I learned long ago, as did Syd, that the rule book is only useful in so far as it helps you achieve your goals."

"Are you saying the ends justifies the means?"

"No, not always. I am saying that you have to keep your eye on the true goal and if you do that."

"Assuming your motives are good and you can keep focused on."

Jack cut Will off. "Yes, let's keep focused, here. So, what did Vaughn say?"

"He said that he had tried to explain about Alice a couple of times to Syd, but she kept cutting him off. And I asked him, what in the name of God was he going to say that she might want to hear-- from her perspective?"

"From her perspective, he acts like he loves her, but he's going out with another woman. Just how do you explain that satisfactorily?"

"Exactly. Exactly. I asked him if he had talked to anyone about his feelings and the situation? He just glared at me and rolled his eyes, just like you do when anyone tries to talk about emotions. Is that in a class they send you to at double agent school or something?"

"Double agent school? For god's sake, Tippin." Jack muttered.

"Just a joke, Jack. So, anyway, I said to him that he needs to talk to someone about this, but the CIA shrink is probably not a good idea."

"Correct in the sense that she'd get him pulled off Syd's case immediately."

"That's what I figured. I also said to him, that, hey, I'd love to listen, since Syd's welfare is important to me, but I am not the person who matters most in this equation."

Jack's head jerked up. "What did you say?"

"That I'd love to listen but I'm not the person who matters most?'"

"Vaughn must be dying. That's very close to what Irina said to him."

"Irina had a conversation with Vaughn about Syd?" Jack held up two fingers. "Wow. Well, that explains the look of panic he had on his face when I said that."

"Conversations with Irina do tend to make one feel panicked." Jack said dryly.

"Especially when she's the person who killed your father. Hey - do you think that has anything to do with Vaughn's reluctance to pursue a relationship?"

"Honestly, no. I think Vaughn could forgive Sydney anything, just as I honestly think she forgives him for Alice. Frankly, I wish she'd get angry. But, my concern--"

"Our concern," Will corrected.

"Our concern is what this is doing to Sydney. Ordinarily and as I said to Vaughn long ago, in our line of work, love is a liability and ---"

"Do you really believe that? Did you really say that to him?"

"Yes, I do, yes I did. Love is a weakness for others to exploit and one that can lead to errors in judgment."

"That's sad, Jack, very sad."

"Perhaps, but true. However, in this case, since neither Syd nor Vaughn can do as they were trained and compartmentalize their emotions, I am forced to agree with you that something needs to be done. They need to resolve it between themselves or perhaps Syd needs a new handler, which would not be my choice. They are an excellent team. But the situation needs resolution and sooner rather than later."

"I have a question before we go any further. Are you going to convince yourself that it makes no difference whether or not they are together, whether or not they are happy, as long as they can do their jobs?"

"In our line of work, happiness is relative. What matters is that they are alive and the people on their teams who depend upon them, are alive."

In anger, Will snapped, "Like you've been alive for the last twenty years?" If looks could kill, Will knew he'd be dead right now. That had not been a smart comment to make to a man like Jack Bristow. He'd pay for it sooner or later. He kept a careful eye on Jack's eyes, which had narrowed alarmingly and Jack's fist, which had clenched immediately upon hearing Will's comment. He knew what that fist could do, he'd been on the receiving end of it, although he had realized subsequently that Jack had probably not used all his strength on that occasion. Slowly, Jack unfurled his fingers and took a deep breath. He looked away from Will.

"Only the fact that you are concerned about Sydney is keeping you from serious injury, Mr. Tippin."

"Okay, sorry. I apologize. I crossed the line."

"Do I need to point out again that this conversation is about my daughter. Not you? Not me? Moving back to the original point, you're right she is preoccupied, because she chooses to spend so much energy ignoring the situation, trying to be strong about it, and trying to maintain hope that it will all work out in the end. And I think that's why she doesn't want to discuss it with him. As I said before, the situation needs resolution."

"He needs to force her to listen, which will be very difficult. You know what's she's like when she doesn't want to hear something," Will warned.

"Or we have to encourage her to get angry enough to force the issue herself. This isn't going to be easy."

"She's afraid to find out that she doesn't mean enough to him for him to wait for the end? That there is no hope? Who wants to hear that? And that's not the issue, as we all know if the two of them were being honest."

"It seems to keep coming back to honesty, in your mind, doesn't it?"

"I'm big on the truth, yeah. And why wait, when the kind of work you all do is so dangerous? Shouldn't you try to live life to the fullest right now? That's what I asked him, what I told him. I told him he owed it to her and to her well-being to tell her and let her deal with the truth even if she doesn't want to hear it. That if he were honest and she were honest---

"The truth shall set you free?" Jack asked sardonically.

"Hey - you have your world view, I have mine. I also told him that if I'd had any chance with the person I loved like that, I'd move heaven and earth to be with her and break every stupid rule ever written or unwritten that was keeping us apart. That I didn't understand why he wasn't following his heart when it was clear that Syd had given her heart to him. That if he can't even control himself when he's with his supposed girlfriend, for God's sake, he's hopeless."

"That's was quite a speech, Will."

"I am a writer, Jack." The two men were silent for a moment. Will spoke first, "So, what's next? You're the master strategist."

"Syd wouldn't want me to meddle. After the last time, I think I've learned my lesson."

"Give me a break, Jack. We're not blowing up buildings here."

"But we could blow up someone's life, which is far worse."

"Or we could help build up someone's life."

"Ah - that's what the meddler always thinks. Take my word for it. I'm not going to--"

Will slanted a look of derision toward Bristow. "Jack, give it up. I know you have an idea."

"Okay, we are agreed that the key here is honesty."

"You agree?" Will asked in surprise.

"Reluctantly and with great hesitation, I am forced to admit that honesty may be the only way."

"The depth of your sarcasm is astonishing."

"Topic? The way I see it, Syd and Vaughn need to resolve this. The question is how to achieve it. I could send them off together on a mission and make arrangements for --"

"Jack, before you come up with some Machiavellian scheme, I was thinking that you should act like the concerned father you really are. Just advise Sydney to listen to Vaughn, that if he doesn't bring it up again that she should, and if she is angry to direct it appropriately rather than at herself the way she is doing now."

"Have a heart to heart father -daughter discussion? Well, that's a unique strategy for the Bristow family. But do you think she'd listen to me?" Jack's eyes were guarded.

"I think she'd listen to you more than anyone else. I don't mean to rub salt in a wound here again, but after what you went through with Irina, who better to talk about the importance of honesty in a relationship?" As Jack looked away, Will saw the flash of pain he could not hide quickly enough. Will regretted having to say that about the Bristow marriage. Truth did hurt, after all. Syd had said once that the deceit had been all on her mother's side; that Jack had been a totally different man prior to Irina's betrayal, open, loving and warm. It was the truth that had so scarred Jack that he closed himself off, not the lies, but the truth. He put his hand on Jack's shoulder. The older man was startled and Will realized that he had never thought about who comforted Jack.

To lighten the mood, Will quipped, "And when we're done matchmaking Syd and Vaughn, maybe we should move on to you. When's the last time you---"

Jack groaned, "For God's sake, the last thing I need is you, Will Tippin,." while Will cracked up.

"You know, Jack, you're actually a pretty fun guy when you loosen up."

"I need a drink if I am going to hear you calling me a pretty fun guy. Let's go in. I think it would be better if we both talked to her, rather than just me."

"You need the moral support?"

"Yeah. Being honest takes a lot out of me."

Chapter 3: "The white little ball won't move until you hit it, and there's nothing you can do after it's gone." (Babe Didrikson Zaharias)

Syd walked in her house as dusk was falling and stopped short. Her father and Will were sitting at the counter drinking beer together? What was wrong with this picture?

"Hey, Syd, we've been waiting for you." Will smiled, but not his usual, slightly goofy grin.

"Let her get in the house already, Will, and put down her stuff. How was the library?" Jack put down his beer and Will saw him surreptitiously press something in his pocket.

"Fiiine. What is going on?" she asked the two of them. She threw her pack on the couch and sat down. Her father reached over into the pack and turned off her cell phone. She stared at him curiously.

"We want to talk to you," they said in unison. Her father and Will were talking in unison? This was getting more weird by the second. Francie had mentioned seeing them eating together in her restaurant and they had both been puzzled by the idea of those two together. Francie said they had spent the dinner talking about books; she had shamelessly eavesdropped.

"About what?" she said with the utmost caution. Will handed her a beer.

Her father answered this time, "About why you are depressed and preoccupied lately and what we can do to help you."

"Dad, don't tell me you're going to meddle again. I thought you promised."

"C'mon, Syd. Don't whine. He's not blowing up a building here," Will scolded.

She protested, "But still, it's the principle of the thing".

"The principle of the thing is that he's your dad. Your dad who loves you. Some dads take you miniature golfing, some dads take you shopping for your prom dress or your first car. Jack here blows up buildings, and well, god only knows. But suffice to say, he generally meddles. That's what he does to show you his love and to try and building a relationship with you. And- ."

Now her father was squirming and shooting daggers at Will. That was more normal. "Thank you Mr. Tippin for your armchair analysis. Can we-"

"No, I'm not done. I guess I'm like Jack too - I see something wrong, really wrong, with someone I love and I want to help fix it so that they'll be happy. Now, unlike Jack's usual m.o., I tend to start with the notion that the truth is the best way to do that".

"Tippin, you're blathering."

"No, I'm not, I'm setting up the story - or in this case, prepping Syd for why we are going to tell her something she doesn't want to hear in the hopes that she won't just close us off or run away, like she usually does."

"I do NOT do that," Syd protested.

"Yes, you do", the men chorused.

"Arggh. Okay, this is getting weird. Just how much time have you two spent together working on this meeting?"

Jack was becoming visibly impatient. "Let's cut to the chase. We all know you're depressed and preoccupied. Don't bother denying it, Syd. Arvin mentioned it to me last week. He asked what was wrong with you, if you needed a vacation or if you were questioning your lifestyle and your allegiances. This. Is. Not. A. Good. Thing. Kendall brought it up the other day as well, wondering if your judgment could be trusted since you were obviously having problems with some issue. And let's face it, if those two self-absorbed egomaniacs are noticing it, it's time to deal with it. It's going to affect your work and therefore, your safety and those of the people with whom you work."

"Francie noticed it too. She asked me the other day if you had mentioned anything to me. I know she's asked you a few times, 'What's the matter?'"

"I'm surprised, then, that she's not here, so you can have one more person on my case about this," Syd muttered sullenly.

"We thought about it, to tell you the truth," Will said. "But," her father continued, "since the underlying reason for your problem is classified, we couldn't really do that."

Syd gave a small sigh of relief, "You mean, Mom, of course."

"No, we don't. You weren't talking about Irina with Francie, were you?" her father said sarcastically. "Obviously, trying to ascertain the motives of Irina Derevko occupy the thoughts of a lot of people, including me and you. There's a whole section in Analysis working on the issue of her motives. But no one, I hope you are included, believes it was solely because she was suffering remorse about her actions and her lack of maternal devotion. There's no option paper exploring that idea circulating through the office. But the point here is that you were dealing relatively adequately with that woman and while I have -"

"Oodles of concern," Will interrupted.

"Tippin, I have never used the word 'oodles' in my life. I was going to say that while I am concerned that you or I or almost anyone who comes in contact with her can be manipulated, as long as we are extremely careful I think we'll come through this. And maybe, heal a little along the way."

"Whoa, Jack, I'm surprised at your armchair analysis. Spending more time with Barnett?" Will smirked, then moved his stool slightly away from Jack, just in case. "But Syd, the point is that you are in a really difficult situation right now. It's not enough that you are a double agent, Irina is the mother from hell and you have that asshole Sark working with you. No, something has pushed you over the edge."

Syd said nothing, just took a long swig from her beer. When they said nothing, she raised her eyebrow.

"It's Vaughn," the men said. Syd choked. "Whaat? What do you know? Did Francie tell you?"

Will shook his head. "Syd, honestly, anyone with eyes in that bar knows. I knew something was up the very first time I met Vaughn and you weren't even there, it was just the way he talked about you. I don't know what it's like over at spy central, what they talk about over the water cooler, but if you two are no better are hiding your feelings there than you were in that bar in front of his 'girlfriend'."

"No, they are no better over there either at 'spy central' Spy central." Jack gave a sideways glance of derision at Will, although his mouth curved upward. "And everyone was willing to ignore it, since it seemed like you two were, more or less, operating within the boundaries of protocol and Vaughn had a girlfriend. That removed a lot of the suspicion since no one would ever imagine that Michael Vaughn would---"

"Did everyone there know about Alice?" Syd choked out, looking away. Jack and Will glanced at each other. They wanted Syd to get angry, not more sad.

"Yes, everyone knew but you," Jack said flatly. "I am sorry to have to tell you that - it must make you feel like a fool."

"Or maybe you were already feeling like a fool, is that it, Syd?" Will asked. "Is that one reason why you're depressed? That you had bad judgment in men? I mean, after all, you did reject me!" Will said in an effort to lighten the moment, which merely earned him a glare from Jack.

"Are you thinking you inherited my bad judgment about partners, Syd? After all, first Noah and now Vaughn? Is that it?" Jack pressed.

Syd's head jerked up at that. "Will knows about Noah?"

"Just the barest essentials."

"I can't believe you two! But wait a minute, while we're on the subject of my bad judgment, let's not forget Danny, you never thought he was right for me." Good, Jack thought, she was starting to get really ticked.

"And he wasn't. There's only one man I've ever thought was right for you. I admit I didn't think so in the beginning, but I've come to change my mind. And lord knows, it's not Tippin, here."

"Thanks, Jack. Your compliments slay me. Syd - as your father said, let's cut to the chase. We could go on and detail every interaction between the two of you, but what it comes down to is this. You two have strong feelings for each other. Don't shake your head at me, Syd," Will interjected. "Now Vaughn, he risks his career, breaks protocols of all kinds -- which your dad says is super important to him - to come to Taipei and help you find me. That and other things, things probably only you and he and maybe Jack know, would indicate his feelings for you are more than that of a handler. Then the virus thing happened, you probably are totally panicked, you risk everything to save him - your life, your principles, everything only to find out that he's got some cookie at home. Anyone would be really upset."

Sydney was looking down at her hands as they peeled the label off of the bottle of beer.

They both wished she would throw the bottle across the room or something. Will shrugged at Jack, indicating it was his turn.

"Sydney, look at me." She grudgingly raised her eyes. "Honey, I know this situation is painful, beyond painful. I can see it in your eyes, in the slump of your shoulders. But I also know that Vaughn has tried to talk to you about it. And you won't let him. Why not?"

"How do you know that?" she asked accusingly. Jack just smiled, knowing it would irritate her.

"Do you have me bugged or is it the warehouse or.?"

"That's not the point here. The point is, why not listen to him?"

"Why should I?"

"Why shouldn't you?"

"What could he possibly say--- He's said enough already, thank you."

"What did he say?" Jack pressed. Will thought idly that Jack would have made a good reporter himself. Same interrogation technique, after all. Well, maybe not, given what he knew of Jack's tendency toward the physical.

"He said that SHE was a good person." Syd practically spat out the last two words. Ah, good, now they were getting somewhere.

"If she's a 'good person', that makes YOU - what, exactly?" Will asked.

"Exactly. What am I, the devil or something? I risk everything to save his life, which okay was partly my fault since it was my mother's big red ball of ebola-" She deflated as she spoke.

"Syd, in no way was that your fault, just as what happened to me was not your fault," Will interrupted. "We all make choices. I made a choice to continue with the story even after you and your father, initially, tried to dissuade me for my own good. But my own drive to know the truth allow me to let it go. Same thing for Vaughn, he made a choice based upon -- in his case -- it was his feelings for you. That choice of his led him to go to Taipei and unfortunately get infected. You could have been on a regular mission, whatever that might be, and he could have gotten hurt just as easily."

"So stop feeling guilty. If anyone should and does feel guilty it's Vaughn. The guy is practically swimming in his own guilt." Jack insisted.

"No kidding," Will added. "Why do you think he's done so much for me? Initially, I could tell he thought I was competition for you."

"He did?" asked Syd with a small smile.

"Oh, yeah. That first meeting with him was all about putting me in my place. But even with that, he has done everything he could for me. Why? Because of you, because I am your friend. And also because even before you knew about Alice, he felt guilty. And he should. He's in love with you, but seeing another woman? I mean, whose name is he calling out when-"

"Okay, we don't need to go there, Tippin." Jack growled, honestly like he wanted to hear about Vaughn's fantasies of his daughter. Lately he had enough trouble dealing with his own unexpected..He shook his head to clear it. "Did you know Irina asked him about his feelings for you? Even she could tell, in the sum total of the 10 minutes she's spent with him, for god's sake."

"What did he tell her?"

"He talked about wanting a normal life."

"NORMAL life? Normal life?" Syd was practically yelling by now. Good.

"And that knowing you has made his life more difficult. He mumbled on about rules and protocols. You know how he is."

"And you know something. If that is the way it is - he wants to go by the rule book, then fine. But then, stop-" Syd broke off.

"Stop with the looks and.. Has there been anything else I should know about and maybe need to take care of?" Jack asked tonelessly. Hearing that tone and the menace in it, Will was glad, really, that he and Syd had never gone out and he had hurt her. He might not be alive today.

Syd, of course, was smiling. In some ways, she was just as bloodthirsty as her parents. Hadn't she referred to the shootout between the three of them and the PRF in Kashmir as "comforting"? What a crew.

"Thanks, Daddy. Maybe you could just punch him in the nose, once?"

"Actually, in this case, and I hate to admit it, but your mother is after all the best manipulator in the business - your mother did the right thing. When he was droning on about wanting a normal life - what a joke - and the rules, she asked him, 'What about the rules between a man and a woman?' And that's the question I would be asking him."

"Yeah, why did he act like he was available, when he wasn't, strictly speaking?" Will asked. "I mean, I can see that you all probably don't have a lot of time to make social conversation - although I was startled by how much he knew about you and your life and even Francie and I don't know where he'd fit into the conversation, 'Hey, I'm going out with my old girlfriend again,' but---"

"Tippin, shut up. The point the man with verbal diarrhea is trying to make, the question we all have - everyone at the Agency has - is why he continues to act like he's available when he is not? Even Weiss asked me-"

"Weiss! Weiss? Doesn't he think I am the worst thing for Vaughn since, I don't know!" Syd said in surprise.

"Yeah, that's how bad this is."

"Who's Weiss?" Will interrupted.

Jack answered, "Weiss is Vaughn's partner and he turned Vaughn in once for stepping over the line with his feelings for Syd. I went to see Weiss in the hospital after Irina shot him-"

"Irina shot him too?"

"Irina shoots lots of people, Tippin. Moving along, Weiss asked me what I thought of the fact that Vaughn asked you out to dinner over the open com unit in Barcelona. He thought Vaughn was crazy, absolutely crazy. Of course, what Weiss also knew and I did not then, was that Vaughn was going out with Alice at the time. So what the hell was he doing asking you out?" Jack practically growled the last sentence. Both Will and Jack stared, hard, at Sydney, willing her to get angry over that question.

Finally, they saw her face grow taut. "I hadn't thought of that! And you know, like I was saying before," (Will saw Jack press something in his pocket again), "If he wants to go by the rule book, fine, but then he needs to stop with the way he looks and the personal questions and talking about restaurants in Rome and." Good now, she was working herself up.

Right on cue, the phone rang. Will picked up the phone on the counter. "Hello?" "Joey's Pizza?"

Chapter 4: "Grab the broom of anger and drive off the beast of fear." (Zora Neale Hurston)

As Syd slammed her car into reverse and sped out of the driveway, she saw her father and Will watching out the front window. She shook her head. Who would have ever thought the two of them would work together in any capacity? Could two people be more different than those two? Maybe they weren't so different, after all, they did make a good tag team, though. She felt grateful, really, that she had them caring about her. Even if they were telling her to do something she absolutely did not want to do. Even if it was, they said, for her own good.

Her own good. What a joke. If she knew what was good for her, she would just enter protective custody and start life all over again. Maybe, then, she could be a "good person." In agitation, she began tapping her fingers hard on the steering wheel.

Good person, my ass, she thought as she pulled into the warehouse parking lot. Good person? What the hell does that mean?, she thought as she stalked down the stairs into the subbasement and moved toward the pull of light. The guard looked up and smiled at her as he waved a wand over her clothing to detect any bugs or trace elements. "All set, Agent." His smile wavered as he caught look of her face, "Are you alright? You look-"

"I have a lot on my mind. Excuse me." She walked off without another word. The guard stared at her in shock - he had never seen that particular look on her face except when she was dealing with Kendall and to his knowledge Kendall was safely away on vacation. Oh, well, that was Agent Vaughn's problem, not his.

Vaughn looked up and smiled as Syd slammed open the gate. "Geez, Syd, are you trying to break that door or what?"

"Why did you need to see me?" Syd asked through clenched teeth.

"What are you talking about? Your father sent me a voice mail, well, two actually, telling me to set up a meet with YOU." His forehead wrinkled in perplexity.

Okay, she was not going to notice that, really. "My father sent you a voice mail? When?" "The first one was about 45 minutes ago, telling me to be waiting for a second one. Then the second one came about 15 minutes ago." "My father - and Will - are amazing. What a team, " she said sardonically. "They don't leave anything to chance, do they?" Syd asked of the ceiling.

"Will? What does Will have to do with the voice mail?" She noted that his voice seemed a little nervous now. Hmm, what was that about?

"Oh, my father and Will sat me down tonight for a talk." She could feel her anger growing.

"About what?" As usual, his eyes were looking anywhere but at her.

She waited for a moment, waiting for his eyes to meet hers, but realized that his instincts were telling him to avoid that. Without conscious volition, her hand reached out and grasped his jaw, lifting his face to meet hers.

"Look at me when I tell you this. If I had to live through 'The Will and Jack Show', the least you can do is look me in the eyes while I tell you about it."

"'The Will and Jack Show?'" I find it hard to believe that it shouldn't be 'The Jack and Will Show'" instead. After all, your father-"

"Yeah, he is a master strategist, a master meddler, a compulsive meddler, that's why you got those voice mail messages designed to get us here at just the precise time that would work best, in his opinion. But this scene just smacks of Will and his penchant, his own compulsion, for trying to ferret out the truth and proceeding accordingly. How he got my father to go along with him, I'll never know. Actually, I do know. They are both meddlers, but they have two totally different world views. Will operates under the mistaken assumption that truth is always a good thing." She stopped.

"Syd, I know that ---"

"Shut up. You DON'T know. And neither does Will." She swallowed hard and now she was the one to look away.

With a hand infinitely gentler than her own had been, Vaughn reached out and turned her back to face him. "What don't Will and I know, that Jack and you do, Syd?"

"That the truth hurts, that sometimes, sometimes, you'd rather live a lie than live with the pain of the truth. Think of my father - which life would he rather have had? - his life with Laura and me even if it was a lie or the life he had after he learned the truth that Irina betrayed us both? I was happier, after all, when I thought SD6 was the CIA and I was working for the good guys. When I was a 'good person' myself." She did not notice that Vaughn's face froze. "Now, almost everything I do is a lie, I don't know whom to trust---"

"You can always trust me, Syd," Vaughn said emphatically.

"Can I?" She noticed that he flinched and stepped back. "Can I trust you with what is really important? I don't know, I honestly don't know the answer to that question. I am questioning my instincts and my judgment and-- -" Vaughn opened his mouth to speak and she cut him off, realizing that she did that a lot, but unable to stop, finally, from asking the question that occupied every waking moment she could not fill with work or her nearly non- existent dissertation or her dad or Will or Francie's restaurant or anything, anything, to avoid it.

She leaned into the chain link fence and held on with one hand and took a deep breath. "And I cannot go on like this. My father and Will were right. I need to resolve this before I endanger anyone else. I need to know what the rules are between us. I need the truth." She swallowed hard. "What truth is it that you want to know?" Vaughn asked in the silence.

"Let me ask you a question. Just what are you doing with Alice?"

Vaughn straightened his tie and looked down for a moment. "I've been trying to talk to you about this and." She waited.

"But I haven't been ready to listen. I know. I'm ready now."

"I, I guess I should start where we left off, that day I came back to work after my sick leave. I met Alice again at this friend's party and I remembered that we'd had a good time together. And that while the life I had with her wasn't as exciting or dangerous or world-shaking as, well, anyway, it was a good, normal life." He paused.

"And having a normal life is important to you?" Syd asked.

"Yes, having watched what losing my father did to my family, I want, wanted, a normal life."

"But you're an agent yourself. How is that quote unquote normal? Or is it that with Alice your life would be, well, easier, than with..me? That you don't have to worry about Alice getting killed every time she goes to work?" "Have you been talking with Irina?" Vaughn accused.

"No, but my dad mentioned that she had asked you about us and that you talked with her about rules." "Jack knows?"

"Oh, let's face it, my dad knows everything. As he would say, let's focus. I asked you about this normal life and it being easier?" She was gripping the chain links so hard with her right hand she was sure that she would bear the imprint on her palm forever. But, if she let go, she was sure she would fall down. The fence was holding her up.

"Yes, and it was easier. But then it all blew up in my face when you met Alice in the hallway. And when your dad told me that, that you met her when you were on your way to recover the antidote, that you knew about her when you went ahead and made arrangements to kill Sloane to get me the antidote.."

"When you realized that I am not a good person," Syd added.

"You ARE a good person, Syd, the best. You saved my life, for god's sake." Vaughn protested.

"But at a tremendous cost." Syd looked away through the links. Vaughn protested, "Sloane lived."

"But I - something in me changed when I did that. My dad said that he hoped I would never have to face that moment - the moment when you make a cold-blooded decision to kill someone. I did face that moment and I made that decision. I stuck that needle in him. I made the decision that your life was worth more than his. I acted like I was God. I'll never be the same person - I can't go back to what I was before that moment."

"But, Syd, the truth is that in our line of work that is exactly the kind of decision we have to make sometimes. And I'm not going to agree with Jack that in the effort to stamp out evil, anything goes and I admit to having a bias toward my own skin, but ."

"You sound like me trying to rationalize what I did."

"Although, like your dad, I wish you had never had to make such a decision, there IS rationale to it. You know, in college in a philosophy class we had this debate, which I thought was ridiculous. It was about if you could go back in time and kill Hitler, would you do it? I said, 'Duh? Of course!' and most of the other students were waffling about the ethics of it. I kept thinking that sometimes in the pursuit of the greater good, one must do something bad."

"'Do something bad?'" She half smiled. "You know what I mean. But, if you could go back and kill Hitler, would you?" "Of course."

"Now, I'm not saying that Sloane is on the same level as Hitler, but he's certainly equivalent to one of his lesser minions. So---"

"Yeah, I get situational ethics. But, this is not what I wanted to talk to you about."

"But it is important. I can tell that I hurt you when I called Alice a 'good person.' I never meant to imply that YOU were not. If anything, none of us in this business are not."

"But the fact remains that you were attracted to her because she's not in this business, right?"

"Yes. At the time, I did not really think there was a chance for us. I felt that what you did, what you do, is much more important than 'us.'" He noticed suddenly that with the lack of light and colors in the warehouse, they looked as if they were in a black and white movie. Any other time, he might have made a comparison to Casablanca, but. he was hoping for a happier ending.

"And too, I wasn't sure if you had the same feelings for me that I had for you. I didn't really know, in fact, until Weiss told me how you nearly tore apart everyone when you couldn't find me after Taipei. But, then when you came to me in the hospital and I saw the look on your face, I knew, I knew we were in too deep to deny. I wanted to wait until it was all over - the virus - and come clean with you and start over, but I was so tired I couldn't even get that out. I should have never waited, I should have." He fell silent.

"And you flatlined in front of me, while you were holding my hand. I ran after you in the hallway, where I met your girlfriend. And I realized, in that moment, that I didn't know you or that at best, I had misjudged, totally, the relationship."

"No, no, you didn't misjudge, you do know me," he protested.

"Let me continue. I've had a while to think about this. For example, I had no clue that your most important personal goal was to have a quote unquote normal life at all costs. The Michael Vaughn I know, thought I knew, would have waited or at least, would have let me know somehow, someway that he wasn't waiting. Maybe that's unrealistic. It's probably true that you didn't know how I feel, I don't think I did until Taipei. I don't know. But as Will and Dad pointed out, I still don't understand why you asked me out to dinner in Barcelona over an open com unit when you had a girlfriend waiting at home. Is that situational ethics at work?"

"Because every time I was with you, I forgot, forget about everything and everybody else. And then, when I'm not with you. " he trailed off.

Syd picked up her train of thought when it became apparent he wasn't continuing. "But then, I realized too, that our relationship has been one- sided. I tell you everything, and you tell me nearly nothing. Maybe that's my fault. Maybe I don't ask enough questions. Maybe I'm afraid of the answers or maybe I'm just too self-absorbed. How much do I really know about you? And if I don't know you, then how can I love you, how can I trust you?"

"This is ridiculous. You do know me, you always have right from the first moment."

"Have I?" she challenged him, holding onto those links with her right hand as if her life depended upon it. Better a scar in her palm than to show weakness by falling down, which is what would surely happen if she let go. Vaughn reached out and took her hand in his left and then steadied her at the waist with his right arm when she stumbled.

"Syd, I love you. I always have from that first moment and I think that I always will." His eyes met hers and as always she wanted to just fall into them. But she saw now that behind the love was a shadow.

"And I, I thought I loved you. You know this should be the most important moment in our lives. But when you say you love me, I have to ask this question: You don't want to love me, do you?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"You keep saying you want the truth. The truth is that you say you love me, but you are with Alice. How do you make that truth fit into your rule book, that rule book you live by, that rule book that says that your fictional normal life is the only way to be? The rule book that says you can tell me you love me and then go home and make love to someone else? Another example of situational ethics? The rule books say I can't have the woman I profess to love, so I screw another one as a substitute? What rule book says that that truth is not killing me? The truth is I don't know you."

"My God, is that what you really think?"

"I don't know what else to think, I don't know how else to make sense of this. You know, I'm standing here holding onto this fence for dear life and suddenly I realize how appropriate that we've been meeting for what seems like forever in a room defined by fences. The kind of fences you can see through, true enough, but would find hard to get out of or through unless you had a key to the gate. And I'm thinking, not to draw the analogy too far, that you've never given me the key."

Vaughn shook his head. "Syd, I think you've spent way too much time in litcrit classes." "Maybe." "No maybes about it. I'll be happy to give you whatever key in whatever shape you want." "Maybe we just need to spend more time learning about each other, or rather me learning about you. Maybe then."

"Maybe then we can recover the trust?"

"I hope so. Trust is a tricky thing."

"So I've been told."

Chapter 5: "The trouble with advice is that you can't tell if it's good or bad until you've taken it." (Frank Tyger)

Jack and Will looked up with concern as Syd slumped into the house. Will elbowed Jack and jerked his head toward Syd. Jack got up and grasped her gently by the shoulders. "Honey, sit down." He walked her over to the sofa. "Do you want to tell us, or do you want to be alone, or do you just want to sit here or?" "Okay, Dad, that's enough options. I'll talk to you guys. You got me into it." That sat in silence for a long while.

"Syd, I don't mean to rush you, but Francie could be home any time," Will said sympathetically. "And maybe before you talk to her about it, you need to get your story straight."

"You're right. Well, to make a long story short, I asked him all those questions and basically what it comes down to is he's confused, I'm confused, I don't think I really know him, I don't know how to trust any more."

"And, there's more, obviously," Jack said softly.

"I said, he agreed, that we needed time to get to know each other better."

Will asked, "Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yes, but I guess." "Deep down inside, you wanted the fairy tale ending?"

Jack said sadly, "Oh honey." Will mimed putting his arm around Sydney and as Jack obeyed the instruction, she turned her face into his shoulder and sobbed. When the storm subsided, Jack wiped her tears with his handkerchief. "Why don't you go take a hot bath and go to bed. It will look better in the morning when you've had a chance to think about it and see that taking time to - court - for want of a better word, is a good idea. Taking the time to know and trust the other person is essential, especially in our business, especially given your roles. I know that seems like cold comfort right now, but."

Syd stared at him in surprise. "No, actually, Dad that is good advice. Thanks to both of you. It's better to know, sometimes, isn't it? Not always, though."

"Oh, you Bristows and your belief in the benefits of self deception," Will said, as always trying to lighten the moment. At least this time, it worked. Both Bristows were smiling.

"Go to bed, honey, and tomorrow we'll all do something together, even Francie if she's available. I don't want you sitting around moping."

"Okay, thanks again," Syd said as she leaned over to kiss her father goodnight. As she walked away, Jack put his hand to his cheek where his daughter had kissed him. Will asked quietly,

"When's the last time she did that?"

"I honestly don't know."

"See, and all it took was weeks of agony on your part, totally butting into her life."

"What will it take to get another kiss from my daughter?"

"I don't know. Does she need a prom dress?"

"Tippin."

Chapter 6: "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action." (Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian Fleming) Start counting.

Over the course of the next four months, Jack spent a lot of time saying, "Tippin." in that tone of voice as Will seemed to make it his mission in life to incorporate Jack in the three younger people's lives. Sydney seemed to be a little jealous of how well her father and Will got along. Francie had questions, lots of them, as she watched relationships develop. She was keeping her own counsel for the moment.

But it wasn't Francie who was worrying Jack at the moment. Sloane said casually to Jack one day over lunch, "So I hear from Security that you've been spending a lot of time with Syd and her friends."

"Surely Security has more important things to do than tail me going to the movies or the video store?" Jack said cautiously, peering over his menu. Where was Arvin going with this? Would this presage another attempt to harm his relationship with Sydney?

"Well, if her friends did not include a certain Mr. Will Tippin that might be true."

"Oh?"

"He is an identified security risk, Jack. You hadn't spent time with him alone or in a group previously and now it seems, all of a sudden, you have a social life that revolves around Tippin. How does that look to the Risk Management staff?"

"I would hardly say my social life, such as it is, revolves around Tippin. I am just spending more time with Sydney. Tippin happens to be part of her life."

"Hmm. I suppose. But I just wanted to warn you to be careful. Security's last report noted an inordinate amount of time spent alone with Tippin. I would hate to have to reopen Tippin's file."

"Don't worry about Tippin. He accidentally stumbled into something, paid his price and learned his lesson. He's moved on." He paused mentally, while casually flipping his menu. Will was preoccupied lately and he didn't know why, but somehow doubted it was about SD6. Tippin still occasionally shuddered when Syd would stupidly talk about her work. Thinking of those shudders, Jack continued, "I find him amusing. I think I am entitled to find amusement, occasionally."

"As long as it doesn't interfere with your judgment, Jack."

"My judgment is as good as ever, Arvin."

"Fine. Let's order," Sloane said and signaled the waiter. Why was Sloane interested in Tippin? In Jack's relationship with Tippin? Shit. This wasn't good.

Chapter 7: "Happiness, like an old friend, is inclined to drop in unexpectedly -- when you're working hard on something else." (Ray Inman)

"Oh, good, Mr. Bristow, just the person we wanted to see." Francie opened the door wide to let Jack into the house, several days after the disastrous lunch with Sloane.

"You wanted to see me, Francie?" Jack asked in surprise as he handed her his coat.

"Yes, Syd and I wanted to talk to you about Will." Jack was glad Francie was so obtuse that she failed to notice his involuntary stiffening at her comment.

"C'mon in, Dad. Do you want a beer or wine or coffee or water or---?" Syd asked with an anxious smile from behind the counter.

"It's a little early in the day for alcohol, Syd. Coffee is just fine." Syd and Francie busied themselves in the kitchen as if his time were not precious and he grew impatient. "Okay, you two. What's up with Will that has you so worried?" He braced himself.

"Well, it's just that, have you noticed---" Francie began but trailed off. Honestly if that girl ever finished a thought he would be surprised.

"Spit it out, already, one of you." It's always better to just get the torture over with quickly, after all.

"Dad, have you noticed that Will seems to be drinking too much?" Syd asked.

Jack frowned, but with some relief that they weren't going to mention, well, who knows. "Actually, I was beginning to wonder about that myself." It was true - every time he saw Will, the guy ended up with alcohol in his hand. And he wasn't just sipping wine or nursing a brew or two, he was quite deliberately ensuring that he was drunk. Not falling down drunk, but close.

"Mr. Bristow, do you know why he'd be doing that? His professional life is improving. I mean, he's selling quite a few freelance pieces to magazines and it seems like he's pulling himself back up again. And I think he's had an interview at some travel magazine and he's been talking about moving out into his own apartment. So, we don't know what's going on. Do you?" Francie gave him a guileless look, that had it been anyone else, would have made him suspicious.

Out of long practice, Jack turned the question back. "Why are you asking me?"

"Aren't you two, like, best buds?" Francie countered.

"Best buds? Dad and Will?" Syd laughed at the notion.

"Yeah, c'mon, they hang out together, Will drags him everywhere."

"Well, I know THAT. They've probably seen more movies and eaten more meals together than we've done with Will in the last few months. But 'best buds'?"

"Hello, you two, I'm in the room. Have you tried talking to Will about this?"

"Of course. But every time we do that, he's not drinking so it's hard to make the point."

"Is there a pattern to his drinking?" Jack asked.

Both women fell silent and looked at each other. "Well?" Jack pressed.

Syd spoke up first, "Dad, I don't know how to say this, but -" Francie continued when Syd faltered, "But, Mr. Bristow, it seems like he drinks when he's with you. I'm not saying that he's trying to keep up with you or anything and you are actually less likely to have a drink in your hand than he is. I mean, like right now. You have coffee, but if Will were to come in here, he'd go right for a beer."

"Are you saying that if I weren't here, he'd just have coffee or water or wouldn't be getting drunk? But if I were here, he'd go for the alcohol?"

"Yes," Syd and Francie said in unison. Syd, however, said it cautiously. Her fears were confirmed when she saw her father's face close down.

"Dad, we aren't saying that you seem to drive Will to drink!" She didn't want him to think that. As odd as it seemed to her, Will was the first person, at least here in LA, who had been able to access what she thought of as her "real" father - the person he had been before Irina's betrayal. Originally, she'd been a little jealous, but now.She didn't know if she'd call the two of them best friends, but still, aside from Arvin (and his status as friend was dubious to say the least), just who was Jack Bristow's friend? Her father could not afford to lose Will. She poked Francie.

"No, Mr. Bristow, we're not saying that." Francie added.

"Francie, you're not saying that with a great deal of conviction. And I saw Syd elbow you."

"No, really, I don't think you drive Will to drink. I just think there is something in the relationship you two have, from his point of view, that .. Oh, I don't know. And given his history with heroin, well, clearly he has a problem with addiction or trying to escape reality or something."

"Dad, what do YOU think? Why would he drink like this?" Syd asked in the face of Jack's continuing silence and increasingly closed expression.

"My guess, based upon my unfortunate personal history, is that he's trying to avoid something. What that something is that might have to do with me, I cannot say." Jack said tightlipped. Francie raised an eyebrow. Syd groaned inwardly. Had she and Francie just torpedoed all of the progress Will had made in loosening up her father?

"Well, would YOU ask him? Since we haven't gotten anywhere?" Francie asked.

"You want me to ask him, when you have identified me as the problem?"

"We don't think you are the problem, Dad. We think Will has some kind of problem that, around you, causes him to drink or want to drink to escape it."

"Well, that's just great." Jack stared down at his coffee cup. Syd took the opportunity to shoo Francie out of the room. She leaned over her father's shoulder and whispered into his ear. "C'mon, Dad, you have to talk to him. Maybe he's having flashbacks from Taipei or something. Every time I try to talk to him, Francie comes in and I can't get anywhere. Maybe he needs to talk to Barnett or something. We owe him."

"Fine. I'll try. I make no promises."

"Good," Francie said as she returned, making both Bristows jump. "That's all we ask. I think you're the only one who can get through to him."

"Give me a little way to come up with a strategy."

"Of course, Dad."

Chapter 8: "There is something about the unexpected that moves us. As if the whole of existence is paid for in some way, except for that one moment, which is free. (Rose Tremain)

The girls were right, Jack decided, over the course of the next two weeks. Every time Jack met Will he would find an excuse to have a drink, actually several drinks. Finally, he invited Will over, ostensibly to watch one of those old Westerns the younger man loved. Where the good guys wore white and the bad guys wore black and always got their just desserts in the end. He could see the appeal, after all.

Jack had only turned on a few lights. Darkness was always easier to talk into than light.

"Will, I want to talk to you. Sit down." Jack pointed to the couch.

"Jack, do you have any wine or beer or" Will asked with his head in the refrigerator.

"No, sit down."

"Well, I really wanted a drink."

"I know, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Sit down." Will finally sat on the couch. Jack sat down next to him.

"What's up?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Will Tippin, although I -"

"I know you excel at it? Is that what you were going to say Jack?"

Jack smiled crookedly. "Clearly, you know me too well. But, I have noticed, Syd and Francie have noticed, that you have been drinking to excess lately." Will looked away. He began running his hands through his hair, a nervous gesture of his he had conquered a while back.

"No, I haven't. That's ridiculous." Pause. "Oh my god, is this an intervention? And they sent you?" Will laughed without humor, still staring off into space.

"Well, given my own history of drinking, I am the logical candidate. You're worrying the girls. Especially Francie since she believes you really were a heroin addict and she thinks you've now just changed addictions."

"Francie? Francie? She think she knows and she-- She's being ridiculous."

"Is she? Is Syd? Am I? We've all noticed a pattern, Will." Will's head jerked back toward Jack and he swallowed. "Would you like a glass of water, Will?" Jack asked softly, getting up from his chair. He pulled a bottled water out of the refrigerator and handed it to Will. If nothing else, holding the bottle would give Will something to do with his hands other than mess with his hair, which was a really annoying habit. Showed a lack of self discipline.

"Back on topic. The pattern, Will. Do you know what it is?" Jack was proud of himself for controlling his voice. At last, years of being a double agent were coming in handy if he could fool Will Tippin into believing that he was blasé about the situation. Yeah, fooling Tippin was such a feat, he did it all the time...

"There is no pattern because there is no problem." Will insisted, taking a long swig from the bottle.

"Really? Then why is it every time, every time, I see you, you have alcohol in your hands?" No answer. "And why is it that is not the case when you are with Syd or Francie?"

"What are you saying, Jack?"

"Your pattern appears to be that you drink around me, Will." Jack said quietly. "Is there some reason for that? Do I make you nervous?"

"Well, of course you make me nervous. You make everyone nervous."

Jack's instinctive response was to close up. He knew that he lacked social skills and tended to appear cold and menacing, when in fact he really.But, he was not the issue here, Will was.

"Really? I'm not buying that. Why is it that you were not always like this? This pattern is relatively new. It would seem that if I were to make you nervous that would have been more true in the past, when you didn't know me very well. Rather than now, when I think, thought, we knew each other quite well. So, why the drinking now? And Will, don't bother to lie, I'll just see through it."

"I, I don't want to talk about this."

"You know, the last time I had a problem with my drinking - after we ascertained that Irina was alive - Syd forced me to see a shrink. Now, I can't say I enjoyed or even got a lot from it. But Syd was right in that drinking doesn't make your problems go away and talking with someone can force you to deal with whatever it is you are trying to drown. Kind of like we forced Syd to talk with Vaughn? Remember that? Let me tell you, if you have to drink to drown something - it's going to be like Vaughn in Taipei and just pop right back up when and where you least expect it." Ah, finally - at the word Taipei, Will had stiffened.

"Will, Syd suggested that maybe you are having flashbacks from Taipei, that being around me initiates the flashbacks for some reason. Is that the case?"

Will squeezed the plastic bottle of water so hard it cracked. He jumped up and tossed the bottle into the sink and then just stood there in the kitchen, his hands on the sink, bent over. Jack walked over and gently pulled his arms away from the sink. "Let's sit down. Talk to me about it. You need to talk to someone about it."

"Jack, I really don't think I can do this."

"Okay, do you want me to make an appointment for you with a CIA shrink?"

"God, no! I know how you operate and I don't want you to know---"

"What is it you don't want me to know? Do you want to talk to Sydney? I can call her."

"No, that would almost be worse. And you'd just get it out of her eventually."

"Will, sit down." He gave Tippin a shove back toward the living room and the couch. "You must know that I've seen everything, heard everything by now. Nothing you say could shock me. That's why Syd wanted me to talk to you."

"And Francie, why did she ask you to talk to me?"

"She said and I quote, that you and I are 'like, best buds'," Jack said in a reasonable facscmile of Francie, making Will smile halfheartedly. "'Best buds?' I wish I had seen your face when she said that."

"Yeah, it's somewhat odd to think of Jack Bristow as best buds with someone, isn't it?" Jack asked self-deprecatingly.

"No, in fact, you have become, you are my best friend, Jack, that's why I can't tell you what-" he stopped.

"Tippin, if you don't finish one of these sentences, I will have to employ one of the many techniques I have perfected to make people talk." Will instantly blanched and swallowed hard. "I was just joking. Surely you know that. You're stupid jokes are rubbing off on me," Jack sighed. "You're not leaving here until you talk. Clearly this is about Taipei."

"Yes," Will mumbled and glanced away.

"You're not going to make this easy, are you? So what specific incident or what stimuli is causing the flashbacks? It has to do with me, somehow. Which I don't understand, since I didn't see you in Taipei until the transfer."

"When I bled all over you and ruined your clothes." Will said, almost smiling.

"So, enlighten me, Will. What about that transfer causes the flashbacks?"

"God, Jack, I was so weak. I---" he stopped again.

"I really wish you would cease this inability to complete your thought. You're almost as bad as Francie," Jack said impatiently. "Are you saying you were weak at the transfer? Of course you were, you had been tortured by that sadistic dentist. And yes, Syd had the same torture and just got up and kept going, but that's what her training and years of experience allow her to do. You're a civilian, she's not. She's a trained professional. I didn't expect you to bound out of the car and run a marathon. No one would expect that of you." Okay, he had given Tippin plenty of rope there - would he take it and just start talking, already? God, give him a straight interrogation anyday, even one with Sloane watching. At least then he wasn't emotionally.Anyway, Will did not look relieved, which meant, what, exactly?

"Oookay. So it's not the dentist. What's left? You're killing me here, help out. Is it-is it the hug you gave me when the transfer was complete? The hug that took years off my life? Did that betray your weakness, whatever that is?" Jack smiled to show he was joking, but Will was still avoiding his eyes and had resumed the hand through hair habit again. Argh.

No answer. Okay, time to try another tactic. He hoped Syd appreciated this. He grabbed Will's right shoulder and pressed him back into the couch. Leaning over, he said, using what he felt was his best menacing voice, "That's it, Tippin, I'm done guessing. Tell me what happened - something happened that you didn't tell me or Syd or the doctors, didn't it?" Nothing. He grabbed both of his shoulders and gave him a shake. "Spill it."

"Alright! It was what Sark did, okay?" Will bit his lip and still refused to meet Jack's gaze.

"Okay, Will. What did Sark do? He's capable of anything, I know. Really, you cannot shock me. " "I think I can." "Try me." Jack leaned back to give Will space.

"He did..something to me, that I thought I had let go, gotten over, but now I think maybe I haven't. Or maybe it's something else entirely, but regardless it's gonna affect our.."

"What did he do, Will?" Watching the flood of red wash over Will's face, Jack knew. Oh no, no. He tried to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach. "Did he molest you, did he rape you?" he asked quietly. Things like that happened occasionally to men captured by the more hardened of torturers - it was often a more effective form of torture than raping a woman. He would never tell Syd this; it would kill her.

"Worse." "Worse than rape? What was it? Just get it out. Get it over with."

"What's worse than rape? He, he seduced me." Will groaned and covered his face with his hands. "He seduced you?" Jack asked very softly, trying to keep the menace out of his voice.

"Yes, it was dark on the plane and I was strapped in." He was talking very fast, just to get it over with, of course. Jack said nothing and let him go on. "He would enter and leave, enter and leave, asking me questions to which I had no answers. God, I was so frightened. I kept thinking of you - what would you do in that situation and I knew you would have been, well, not like me ready to piss in my pants from fear. I had no idea how much time was passing, but I kept hearing them talking about what they were going to do with me once we landed. And I knew, intellectually, that they were doing it deliberately to heighten my anxiety, but it worked! I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest with fear. I felt like such a wimp, I kept trying to think, 'What would Jack do in this situation?' I don't know why I wasn't thinking about Sydney, I guess 'cause I had spent more time with you on this mission thing. Then all of a sudden, he came in and oh, god, I was so weak," he broke off.

"Will, you don't have to continue if you don't want. I get the picture." "No, I think I - If you can stand to hear this?" "If you can live through it, I can stand to hear it." Jack said quietly.

"He came in, so quietly, I thought at first I was hearing things. Then all of a sudden he started whispering things, sexual things, and then he started to undress me and then he started to fondle me and I, I."

"Your body responded." Jack said flatly.

Will spoke through his hands still covering his face. "Yes, and then he pulled down my pants and used his mouth on me. And I, oh god, I am so ashamed, Jack." Jack cautiously placed his hand on Will's shoulder. "It's okay, Will. There's no reason to feel ashamed."

"Yes! Yes, there is. I wanted.release so much and---"

"You wanted oblivion for a second. Freedom from pain and fear."

"Yes. That's it, that's it exactly. And I was so desperate for it, then when he told me I couldn't have it until I did it to him, I .." "You did it." Jack gently squeezed his shoulder. At least Will wasn't pushing that small comfort away, he remembered how much it had meant to him that time Will had comforted him. "I did it. It was so stupid, from the standpoint of a health risk; thank God he stopped himself before.And that's what I meant, when I said I was so weak. If I had been stronger, tougher.."

"Will, you were a civilian who didn't know what to expect or how to prepare for it. Even a professional would have trouble in that situation. And Sark - he pulled back so that he could have one more way to demonstrate that he was in control and you were not." When Will still made no answer and remained hunched over in his own private hell, Jack continued, "Didn't you know that when a man's body goes into flight or fight mode, survival mode, the testosterone levels go through the roof? Well, why would you have known? But, it's a fact that men have a tendency to have, um, strong libidos when they feel like they might die. It's okay that you responded. Your body was doing what came naturally - it responded to the stimuli. It doesn't mean you're gay or bisexual or anything else if that's what you're worried about."

"That's not it. I'm not hung up on my masculinity being tied to heterosexuality. It was just shocking, it is, now.."

Jack had looked up sharply. "What do you mean by that?" "What?"

"That your masculinity is not tied to being heterosexual."

"I mean that what bothers me is not that I.did that with a man, but that the individual was Sark." Jack's face was thoughtful and Will wondered just what he was thinking.

Finally, Jack said, "I take you point. Sark is an." "Animal?" "Good enough description. But, Will, Sark knew that you would have never done that with him if you could see him. That's why the lights were out, don't you see? He knew what he was doing - he knew that in the dark your mind could go someplace safe, could imagine he was."

Will still said nothing, but another wave of red washed over his face and neck. Jack thought, what else could he say, what other secret was left? "You know I, of all people, can keep a secret, don't you? Is there anything else?" When Will did not answer, Jack tried again. "Okay, Will, just what does this incident have to do with you feeling the need to drink in my presence and why did this need begin fairly recently? Do you know? I don't."

He waited. Finally, Will began, "Did Francie tell you what she said to me a few weeks ago when she tried to talk to me about this other thing?"

"'Thing?' Tippin, you craft words for a living, I expect better from you." No response. "No, she said nothing about a 'thing' and I can't imagine that Francie, surely the most oblivious person I have ever met, would have anything useful to say, but go on."

"Francie oblivious? Ha. Don't you like her?" "She's fine, Will, really now that I've gotten to know her. Stop avoiding the issue. If Francie said something useful to this situation, then more power to her. Spill it or I'll call HER."

Will clenched his jaw. "Jack, do me a favor and look away for a second? I can't say this and look into your eyes." "Fine."

"Francie asked me, she asked me, if I had a crush on you." In shocked surprise, Jack's eyes snapped back at Will, who fortunately was looking away as he continued, speaking rapidly, "If maybe I wanted more from you than friendship and - Oh, God." "Oh God," Jack said at the same time. Will was not as easy to fool as he had thought, he must have picked up on the unconscious messages, he thought he had successfully hidden. Neither man would look at each other and both took a deep breath.

Jack was the first to speak. "And did you start drinking when Francie said this, or had the drinking started before?"

"Before. I was starting to have these thoughts about you, feelings as I got to know you better. But then I was confused and wondering myself if I was just having a flashback to Taipei."

"I'm confused, Will. What does Taipei have to do with these.thoughts you were having?"

"When Sark and I.when you said that my mind went somewhere else in the darkness, when I said before that I would have expected to have been thinking about Syd and I was thinking about you? I was thinking about you," he ended on a barely discernable whisper. "And I think I may have said your name out loud, which is even worse. And at the time, I thought it was just some anomaly, out of my fear and confusion and thinking of you as the person who was going to save me." "I see."

"And, and.This is so embarrassing. God. I put it out of my mind, like I'd been trying to do with everything about Taipei, because I'd never, consciously, thought of you in that way before. Then, that night.." Will started to talk quickly again, "That night when we were first talking about Syd? You won't remember, but I put my hand on your shoulder after I said something obnoxious about your marriage."

"Oh, I remember," Jack interjected, looking surprised that he had done so.

"And when you looked so startled, it gave me this fleeting thought about who comforts Jack Bristow, who touches Jack Bristow. Ever since, it was like a light bulb went off and it's been getting brighter and brighter the more time we spent together.So, I've been trying to figure out if those feelings were always there on some level given the fact that my brain went right there, to you, while that was happening with Sark. Or, if the feelings were completely unrelated or.Anyway, I'd try to talk myself into confessing these feelings to you by drinking to loosen myself up. But then I'd realize what a bad idea it was, I mean men don't talk about this stuff, do they? So I'd drink some more to forget about what I was thinking. Francie just brought out into the open something I'd rather have hidden and then I got worried that you knew and you would be disgusted or amused. I don't know which would be worse." Will finally stopped and took a few deep breaths.

Silence. Will finally looked up at Jack, who was staring across the room, with his jaw clenched. Will felt his heart sink to his stomach.

"I appreciate that you all were concerned about my drinking and I guess one part of me is glad it's over, it's out in the open. I've been trying, clearly not very well, to handle this on my own. Hoping that maybe the feelings would go away, but it's been so long now and.but, I don't want to lose your friendship and I hope we can forget about it. I know it can't be what you wanted to hear. And I can't believe that once again, I've fallen for someone who isn't going to reciprocate my feelings. Maybe there's self help group for people like me." He tried to end on a lighter note, but Jack still said nothing, just stared off and kept clenching and unclenching his hands.

"I think maybe I should leave, Jack. I can see that you're not too happy right now." He stood up, but Jack caught his arm and pulled him back down to the couch.

"No, Will, I have to ask you a question." Jack's eyes were guarded and his face was tense.

"Sure, I have no secrets left now, that's for certain. Not like you." Will laughed, feebly, but a valiant attempt nonetheless to hide his own uncertainty. Where was this conversation going?

"Yes, I do have a lot of secrets don't I? But, what I wanted to ask you, was. if it bothered you that you had 'fallen' for a man, instead of a woman?" Jack's eyes darted away. He must be really uncomfortable to allow that glimmer of anxiety through; after all the man was famous for his poker face. For once, Will felt like the confident one.

"It's odd, but it never really occurred to me for more than half a second. I guess it happened so gradually that I didn't have a chance to erect mental or emotional barriers to the idea. Or if my heart just accepted that you fall for a person, an individual."

"Oh."

"God, Jack, I've just told you the deepest, most humiliating set of secrets I can imagine and all you can say, is 'oh.'? And I can just imagine what you think of me - you who think caring for someone is a liability."

"Actually, I was just thinking that you were very.courageous."

"Seriously?"

Jack smiled involuntarily. The way Tippin said 'seriously?' was always comical.

"Yes, seriously, Will. It took courage to be honest like that. In my life, I have to be careful, I have to keep secrets, to protect myself, my team, my daughter, the people I.care about. It's easier, safer, NOT to care. But.." Jack stopped, obviously uncomfortable. Well, actually, Jack looked way beyond uncomfortable.

"But.what, Jack? Are you actually going to be honest here for a moment? I am glad I'm sitting down."

"Very amusing." In surprise,Will noted that Jack's eyes were meeting his and were, surprisingly, much less guarded then he had expected. He also noted that, contrary to his worst expectations, Jack showed neither disgust nor repulsion at Will's confessions. His eyes were difficult to read, but they weren't shooting daggers at him either. He began to relax infinitesimally.

"But, your courage requires that I tell you..oh, God. Do I have to do this?" he muttered the last to himself, looking down. Jack showing anxiety and not really attempting to hide it? That was a first. Will felt his hopes begin to rise from the ashes where they had always resided. "Yes, I think you do, Jack. Weren't you just telling me a few minutes ago about how I had to tell someone about what had happened? Wasn't the whole point of that endeavor that. "

"I need some more time to process this, Will. And I have some things I have to do first before we can continue this discussion."

"That's all I'm going to get, after everything I've said? Geez, Jack." Will laughed in relief that Jack had not killed him for this confession.

Jack responded to Will's laughter with a half smile. "What more do you want?"

"I think this will do," Will said as he leaned forward and covered Jack's lips with his mouth. He didn't know where he had gotten the courage, especially without alcohol. He guessed it was just instinct, the same instinct that told him, sometimes, that Jack might have feelings for him too. That, really, was the only thing that had allowed him to say any of what had passed for conversation tonight. Jack gave him more credit for courage than he deserved, at least up until this moment anyway. Or maybe he was just stupidly reckless. So much rested on Jack's response. Had his instincts been wrong, would Jack push him away and punch him? Or would he reciprocate? Or worse yet, just do nothing? Would this be the end of any relationship they had? For now, he could tell that Jack was shocked into passivity. And then he thought, Jack, passive?

Will's heart leapt into his throat as suddenly Jack put his hand around the back of Will's neck and pulled him closer. Angling his head, Jack took over and deepened the kiss. When Will tentatively let his tongue lick Jack's lower lip, the older man took in a sharp breath and Will took advantage of his uncharacteristic hesitation to sweep his tongue into Jack's mouth and explore. For a moment, Jack allowed him free rein, then took over the kiss again. That was no surprise, Will thought. Let's face it, Jack was going to call the shots. Then Will stopped thinking as Jack surged his own tongue into Will's mouth, wrenching a groan from both of them as Will began to suck on it rhythmically. Within moments, it became too intense for both of them and they pulled back to stare at each other in shock.

"Oh, God," they said simultaneously. Will laughed nervously, "We seem to say that a lot around each other."

Jack let his hand briefly touch Will's neck before pulling away completely. "Will, I meant what I said before. You went through hell in more ways than one and still had the courage to pick yourself up and keep going. If someone had told me a year ago, that I would tell you that I admire your courage, I would not have believed it."

"Gee, thanks, Jack." Will smiled, feeling more confident now. Jack continued, "But, I meant what I said. I need time to process this..development. To say that this is unexpected, is.And I have some things I need to handle, before we can continue whatever it is."

"You're not going to just avoid this, avoid me, for the rest of our lives?"

"Tippin, one thing I do know about you is just how much perseverance you have and how you keep digging for answers even when it could result in digging your own grave. I have no doubts that you would not let me avoid you."

Both men were silent for a moment. Will finally spoke up, "Well, this has been one of the more.surprising nights of my life. I'm ready to relax. Do you want to watch that movie and see the bad guys bite the dust in the end?" "You're something else. Sure, go make the popcorn."