"Are you high?!" she asked incredulously, eyes wide.
"I can't believe that would shock you," she slurred, bringing the blonde's attention to the empty bottle of liquor at her feet.
"What did you take?"
"Nothing important."
"Ecstasy?"
"Doesn't kick in quick enough."
"Cocaine?"
She sniffed, which Cameron took to mean yes.
"But why, Rem? I don't understand, I-"
She rolled her eyes and sunk further back in the chair, "Because it's all about you." She stared at her hands.
"Rem, I didn't say that, I just want to know why-"
"Because I'm depressed, alright? Because I'm an addict."
"I'm right here, all the time, you know that?" Warily, she inched closer to the brunette, wanting to comfort her, yet afraid of what she might do.
"I'm dying," she laughed, eyes piercing the blonde's, "I'm going to die. I'm going to lose control of my body, and then I am going to die."
"I know Remy, but there are other ways you can cope. You can always talk to me, I'm here for you."
"What would you know?" she spat, the hurt visible in Cameron's eyes. She knew it was the drugs and alcohol talking but it still cut deep, what if she really felt like this? "I'm exactly what you want, I'm dying, I'm damaged. You can't fix me, even if you try."
"That's not fair," the tears clouded her vision and threatened to spill, "that's not why I love you."
"Oh, really? Then why are you still here?"
"What? Remy, that's so twisted. I'm here because I love you, because I want to support you, not because you think you're damaged. I'd be here regardless of what was going on. You've got to let me in Rem, you've got to let me know what's going on," she was sobbing now, "I can't watch you destroy yourself. I'm sorry. I know it's your life, and your illness, but I'm your girlfriend, I was here before your diagnosis and I'm still here now, not because of it, but because I love you. And I can't stand by and watch you waste away the time you, we, have left. You just have to put your trust into me, please," she begged. Remy's eyes were red and puffy, perhaps from the alcohol, perhaps from the pain in her girlfriend's expression, or maybe a mixture of the two.
Her voice was barely above a whisper, "I'm scared Al." She reached out her arms for the blonde who collapsed into her lap, sobbing into her chest. Between sobs she mumbled, "I'm scared too, but we can do this together."
"I'm sorry," she murmured, tearstains down her cheeks, her hands tangled in Cameron's hair, "I'm sorry you have to put up with this."
Cameron shook her head, "I love you, I'm not 'putting up' with anything, this is my choice. Relapse happens, I knew that coming into this relationship, but it doesn't mean anything, you're still my girl. We're in this together."
"I love you."