Before you all read this, let me just ask you this: Have you ever played the Twilight Princess for Wii? Yes? Good, then you'll entirely understand what I'm talking about. If not, just read anyway for the sake of a laugh.

I do not own Zelda, or the hilarious game play and set up. Nope, Nintendo can take all the credit for this one. Well, except one part inspired by a picture that I'll talk about at the end.

The inside of the tree house was comforting. The light woods and soft fabrics of the rugs emitted relaxation and warmth in the small humble abode, with the smell and crackling of fire glowing in the clay holding. The blackened old metal pot remained silent as the very start of tiny bubbles floated from the wobbly bottom to the surface. The late golden afternoon sun shone through the wood window frames into the single room, lighting the busy pair of Link and Ilia on the food counter.

Her hands worked quickly with the knife and vegetables as Link observed absentmindedly from his task of cleaning and peeling. In the area of normal activities- household chores, outside tasks, games or other playtimes- Ilia was proficient already, but there were times her memory evaded her, like in this case, maybe the proper way to cut different vegetables for the soup. Of course, as Link noticed with some amusement, these were things Ilia never liked to pay attention to, even before the Dark Times, so they could hardly blame it on the amnesia.

The young man never said a word as Ilia filled the silence with her chattering voice. Occasionally there was a hand stopping her motions and patiently demonstrating the correct uses of the blade, but his deep blue eyes were never annoyed or judgmental. Always patient, always understanding. This seemed to be his constant nature, as Ilia had quickly learned and was immensely grateful for. He focused intently on her voice, trying desperately to drown out other distracting noises haunting him mercilessly. Though his eyes and hands were on the food before him, his ears buzzed elsewhere as Ilia relayed her plans.

"…But I was thinking maybe it'd be best to go before the end of autu-"

"By the Gods, will you shut up already?"

Ilia froze, wide-eyed and offended. "Link?"

The annoyed young man's scrunched face paused at her innocent question. In an instant his annoyance smoothed back into the calm and patient countenance Ilia was more familiar with. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean you. Go on."

She looked to him and around the otherwise empty tree house, before nodding slowly. The unusually gruff outburst was concerning for a moment, but he seemed alright now. She gathered the sliced long stemmed onion to one side of the board and picked it up to place the contents in the simmering water.

"Right. What I mean is, the end of autumn. I know the winter rains are coming, but I want to see everyone before we're stuck-"

"If you so much as go near that blasted pot with her, so help me I'll stab you and roast you!"

Ilia jumped back away with a terrified squeak before the board had a chance to be tilted and cleared. Her bewildered green eyes caught his threatening blue and Link softened again.

"Oh no, don't be afraid, I didn't mean you. Go on, you were fine, really. You can continue."

She looked between him and the pot doubtfully before taking a step for it. She looked to him once, and seeing his silently encouraging expression chanced another step. Ilia gave one more timid glance. When he merely turned back to finish scrubbing the yam, she quickly slid the onions into the pot and put the cutting board and knife down.

"If this is a bad time, I can come back later."

"Not at all." he soothed. "I enjoy your company."

"Well… alright…"

The baffled, discombobulated and all around confused girl slowly approached the counter again, watching him carefully as her hand went to pick up the cutting knife again. His kind eyes encouraged her, so she turned her attention back to the first sweet potato.

"Right… so then, the traveling would be-"

"And that means you shut the fuck up!"

"Link!" She dropped the knife.

He stopped at her startled reaction and blushed in abashment. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to swear-"

"You know, I think I promised my father I'd help him with something."

Link looked at her in surprise, honestly not able to understand why she would want to leave. "But you haven't finished cutting."

"Right, sorry, I'll make it up to you-"

"No, please don't go," he pleaded. "Don't leave me alone here."

"I'm sorry, Link. I'll come back later at a better time."

She turned and hurried out as he mournfully watched her exit his door to go down the ladder. His grievous expression turned to righteous fury as he whirled.

"This is all your fault!"

The jars of seasonings cowered.

Ilia skipped hurriedly down the steps on the path between Link's house and the rest of Ordon village. The bright sun warmed the path under her sandaled feet and the rock walls on either side of her as the peaceful breeze kept her delightfully cool. It was the first time she reveled being alone outside instead of by Link's side. The occasional shout of voices and laughter reassured her after the strange scare, and she noticed Rusl with Colin by the village creek, under the watchful eye of Uli holding her infant. Her mouth pinched nervously as the observing woman spotted her coming down the walkway.

"Ilia. You are finished already? I was under the impression you had wanted to assist Link with dinner."

"I…" the girl fidgeted a moment before looking hopefully up to the woman holding her infant. "Uli, Link's acting strange."

The curious expression turned confused. "Strange? In what way?"

"I mean… he's talking nice to me one minute and yelling at me the next."

"Oh dear." Confusion morphed into worry. "Does he seem very angry? As though something is bothering him?"

"Yes. I mean, I think so. It's just that he told me everything was fine, but then would yell at me for something I did, so I don't know."

"Well, he might just be conversing with Navi. He might not be angry with you."

"Well, he might have been, I just…" she stopped. "Navi?"

"Or maybe it is Tatl today, I am not always sure. They tend to switch sometimes."

Ilia stared. "But, there wasn't anyone else in there… and who are Navi and Tatl?"

"Oh dear…" Ilia could not understand why she was suddenly looked at with pity. "Do not say you do not remember."

Ilia shook her head slowly.

"Oh my. You better come inside and sit down."

Now Ilia was worried. Uli sat up, carefully holding her child as Rusl and Colin seemed to remain oblivious to the conversation. She followed Uli up the pathway that led to the cozy little cottage and came into the flora invaded living space at her request.

"Now, take a seat dear."

Ilia lowered onto the old worn sofa as Uli took a place beside her, but faced the girl slightly, in preparation for the upcoming conversation.

"Well dear, you see." the woman looked to her sympathetically. "The truth is, Link has not always been… quite like other boys."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, he sees…" she sighed. "He believes in fairies."

Ilia blinked. "He what?"

"Ever since he was young, he has claimed to see fairies." Uli adjusted the babe in her lap. "It was hard for him when he lost his parents, so I can understand if he tried to make imaginary friends to play with. The only problem is that they remained with him. Sometimes her name is Navi, other times it's Tatl. Apparently they follow him around and try to make conversation. He attempts to ignore them for the most part, though apparently they are quite annoying."

Ilis blinked again. "So you're telling me… the almighty hero of Hyrule talks to his imaginary friends, who happen to be little fairies?"

Uli smiled, a pained grimace at Ilia's rather harsh choice of words. "Well… yes."

Ilia stared, this information not settling well for her at all. "Are they… girl fairies?"

"Yes."

Ilia sighed with relief. Good, that meant he was still a potential romantic interest. The poor girl did not know what she would do if he was imagining boy fairies. She thought about this a moment more. "So then, he'll sometimes talk to them, even when talking to other people?"

"Correct."

"Oh…" her head lowered at the thought of her closest friend actually having been insane all this time, and her not even realizing it. "Poor Link."

Said Link was sourly chopping up the last yam.

"Hey, listen!"

The soft jaw clenched as he stared resolutely at his hands and food, silently grieving that the extra portion of meal would now go cold with lack of company.

"C'mon, I'm talking to you!"

The shiny blade slammed down a little more firmly before shoving them to the side of the board, and carrying them to the boiling water to pour them in.

"Hey, don't just ignore me!"

The young man turned away from the fluttering winged ball of light and set the board down again, keeping his hand clenched securely around the knife hilt as he started picking out salt and seasoning herbs, anything to keep his mind busy.

"I know you're mad about your little girlfriend leaving, but that's no excuse to-"

"What did I say?!" he finally snapped and stabbed the blade point right into the wood cutting board. "Shut up or I'm gonna stake you and roast you for dessert!"

"You already did!" the light wailed and sniffed daintily. "And that's why you're stuck with my spirit as a curse, for punishment for what you did!"

"For the love of all that is Holy, I never fucking killed you! You've haunted me ever since I was a kid- even though I never did anything to you!"

"You did too! Your predecessor killed me, a sacred fairy, and now you as his reincarnation must pay the price!"

"I can't blame him if you did this to him every blasted day!" he whimpered as he fell to his knees, the knife clattering to the floor with him. "Why? Why did Midna have to leave? Even her stupid annoying little laugh was preferable to this…"

The light jingled indignantly. "So that's it, huh? You're cheating on me? Getting a new helper instead?"

"What? No, I'm- Yes!" He looked up at her with hopeful eyes at the sudden chance. "I'm no good, the scum of the earth. You should find yourself another person to haunt- help, I mean help. I just don't deserve you."

"I can't do that." Her voice lowered with compassion. "Even if you have become the scum of all scum, I still care for you, Link."

One thick eyebrow twitched. "You basically just said you're going to haunt me the rest of my life."

"And I will, to avenge my scorned soul. A woman's heart is complicated, Link."

His head fell forward.

"No… mercy please."

"Come on Link, I know you care for me too. I helped you with your targeting systems, information, reminders-"

"No you didn't. It was that weird little floating target that helped me, and Midna was the one that gave me information. She even helped me fight."

"Who do you think was that 'weird little floating target'?" The blue light huffed and turned away. "I forgot about your little fixation with your shadow."

"She was in my shadow, Din's rage, how many times do I have to say it? She was right there!"

"Then how come I didn't see her?" The fairy asked knowingly.

Link fell to the ground forlornly. "Because she cast a spell so I was the only one to see her…"

"Right. Very convenient, talking to spectator only you could see."

"You hypocrite! She couldn't see you either." He rubbed his temple. "I could see you, but neither of you saw each other. You both thought I was crazy. Now even Ilia thinks I'm nuts…"

"I don't think you're crazy." Navi soothed. "I think you're just stressed."

"That wasn't stress. You had to know of her- you saw her leave through the mirror."

"What mirror?"

"The blasted mirror of…" he stopped as he blinked then sighed. "That's right, it was Tatl with me for both of those days."

"Tatl? I think she would have mentioned something like that when we switched shifts. You know Link, I think you are tired, you should take a vacation."

"I don't need you of all people telling me that!"

"See, now you're yelling at your friends."

"You are not my friend! I played patient with you for years, but we were never actually friends. You're haunting me for crying out loud!"

The little fairy stopped, and looked at him, hurt and offended at his burst. "Oh. I see."

She hovered dejectedly over to the window. "I guess you won't be needing me any more…"

"What are you, hormonal? You just got finished saying you wouldn't leave me alone!"

But the little fairy drifted through the window without a word. Link was silent for a few minutes- dead silent- watching the floating light leave through his open window high at the top of his tree house. Slowly he stood, looking around almost in awe at how quiet it suddenly felt. There was… nothing around. No light, no fluttering of wings. Was she gone? Was that all it took? Was she really…?

And just as suddenly his eyes watered with emotion and he smiled, a great happy beam that released years of ache and longing. Gone, gone, she was gone! At long sweet last, she was gone! He felt such great joy that he leapt high in the air and clicked the heel of his boots together in an exultance of joy. Ilia, he had to go tell-

"Hiya Link."

He froze. Slowly he turned around.

"What're you so happy about anyway? You know your soup might overcook if ya don't watch it. How many times do I have to tell you to pay attention to things around you, ya knucklehead?"

"Tatl…" Link slowly mourned. "You're still here…"

"Well, duh. Navi leaves, I come take her place, it's part of the contract. Trust me, I'm about as happy about it as you. What, didja hit your head or something? You should know that. Link? Link, what's wrong?!"

But try as he might, Link just could not properly explain why he burst into tears.

But you all understand why, right?

Good. Now then, about the Midna thing, since I know people will ask: Yes people, she did have some sort of cloaking. No one else saw her besides Zelda as she rode on Link, so that must mean any haunting Spirits of Fairies Past couldn't either, considering they have the same traits.

Now, the picture I referred to up above was one a friend and I found a LONG time ago. So long ago I can't remember what site it was on and who it was by. It was of OoT Link catching Navi and treating her as a marshmellow. I could have just come up with my own bizzare death and taken full credit of this little shot, but that image would not leave, and I figured I should pay tribute. Even though I cannot even remember the artist's name. 0_0

The first time I played TP for the Wii was at a friend's house a couple months ago. I beat it a long time ago on GC but I always wanted to try out the Wii remote, the first time I saw the fairy, my jaw dropped. "NAVI?!"

Come on, how many other people thought that? Thought so. So yeah, then my friend and I started joking abut it, because you can't actually talk to it, and it wasn't a playable character, so we realized it was a symbolic figure of Link's imagination, and a bizzare silent tribute to the highly hated fairy.

The picture that made me think of this idea again, was this: . com/comics/?strip_id=246

Made me laugh, and remember my nearly forgotten idea with Twilight Princess. So, hope you all enjoyed.