It was a lovely horney day in the land of Hyrule. Link, Hyrule's legendary hero, was on yet another adventure to protect his homeland. Nature surrounded him, and he felt at peace while resting in Hyrule Field, gazing at Castle Town, his next destination.
As he retired from his rest, he got up, ready to head over to Castle Town, when suddenly he hears the rumble...
It gets louder, louder and even MORE louder...
...and he gets hornier, and even MORE hornier...
till finally...
"MR. LINK!!" shrieks an annoying, yet familiar voice. Link, who was mute, nodded since he couldn't say hello. It's been against his code to say a single word.
The postman looked amazing. His red backpack was full of packages, like usual, with his matching hat on top of his head. His nipples were ENORMOUS. You could visibly see them underneath his shirt. And his white shorts, revealed an ENORMOUS cock. Link blushed a little at the sight of the mailman's huge hard on.
"Mr. Link, PLEASE." said the postman, a little pissed off. He had been chasing Link forever, in more ways than one. "Let me get you your package," said the postman, while searching through his bag. He turned around so that Link couldn't look at him. Link noticed that Midna was lurking around, so he farted hoping to send her back to the Twighlight.
"Here is your package, sir." The postman held the package in his hands. "It's very fragile, so you might want to open it while I hold it." Not sure what it was, Link agreed. He used his master sword to open the package, only to accidentally stab the package!
The postman's flushed face suddenly turned white. As Link opened up the package, he realized that it was the postman's penis! But before he could pull out a fairy to revive him, the postman collapsing, dying from extreme pain.
Not wanting to be convicted of a crime, let alone known that he was a homosexual, Link morphed into the beast, and ate the postman to hide his crime. He then asked Midna to morph him back to a human, so he could vigorously masturbate at the events.