Beth was exhausted.
Running book club, taking care of the kids, and the ever-expanding girth of her waist was taking its toll. She could barely see her feet now. 6 months pregnant. 4 months since she shot Rio on that fateful night.
She needed the business up and running fully so she could have this damn baby and take a break. She was booked in for a c-section due to the problems she'd had with her last pregnancy and time was running out. She felt more and more like a bloated whale every day.
Annie and Ruby helped out as best they could. They were on pick up duty today. Dean had been supportive, but distant. I mean who could blame him?
She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. She needed a haircut. Badly. She closed her eyes and rested her aching back against the kitchen counter.
No point sitting down yet. The cake she had promised Emma was almost cooked. She didn't dare sit down because might not be able to get back up again.
She dozed whilst waiting for the timer to ping. Rio entered her mind again. She'd been thinking about him more and more recently. She could still picture those beautiful brown eyes widen in shock as she'd shot him. I miss him. That was a secret she kept all to herself. Despite it all. She missed him. That sexy crooked smile, the way he used to look at her.
She kept replaying that night over and over in her mind. Could she have done anything differently?! The hormones were probably getting to her. She kept seeing him everywhere recently. Guilt, she thought. I killed my unborn baby's father. She wondered if the baby would have his eyes? It hurt to think of that. She blinked back the tears.
She was three months gone by the time the pregnancy was confirmed.
She had suspected, the night she shot him, suspected that something was up, but after her last pregnancy which ended in an emergency c-section, she was told she could no longer have children. So, she thought it was just stress messing with her cycle.
The OB-gyn told her this was a one in a million-type-thing. Just like Rio, she thought sadly. She'd never met anyone quite like him.
She had cried herself to sleep so many nights hugging her belly and thinking of what she'd done. She even thought of adoption until she felt the first kick. Then she knew she'd fallen for this kid. Just like she'd fallen for Rio.
It wasn't the kind of love she had known with Dean... but part of her had loved him all the same. She thought back to his cold words: it's just business. No. He hadn't loved her. She was just some sadistic side project.
He'd loved manipulating her, pushing her deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole... he wanted to turn her into a killer. Well... I guess he succeeded, she thought darkly.
The timer pinged and Beth stirred from her reverie.
She grabbed the oven glove and bent down to open the oven. God I must look hilarious, like a constipated elephant, she thought.
She struggled to rise back up again, holding the tray in one hand, supporting her arched back with the other. She thought she heard a sound and froze. What was that?! "Hello?" She called out. No answer. Goddamn this baby brain, she thought. It had turned her into an emotional, paranoid wreck.
She turned to the counter and placed the tray down. It would need to cool before decorating it.
She waddled to the fridge to grab a jar of pickles. She couldn't stop eating them.
She turned back to see a familiar face stood across the kitchen with those playful eyes and a smirk on his lips. She thought her heart would burst in her chest and dropped the pickle jar with a shriek. The jar smashed, narrowly missing her feet. She stared at him, her mouth open in shock.
He must be a hallucination. I've finally lost it, she thought.
"Elisabeth" said the apparition with that familiar drawl. "You made a mess".
"You're not real" she said with a whimper, as thick tears ran down her cheeks. "I've lost my mind" she whispered.
The figure moved closer towards her. She started to shake her head, the tears streaming "no... no you can't be real..." she wailed. "I killed you... this is just... another dream..."
Rio smirked "you dream 'bout me a lot, Elisabeth?" Dumbfounded, she found herself nodding. "You sorry for whatcha did?" She nodded more emphatically. She wished this dream would let her wake up now.
"I dream of you too..." said Dream Rio, who had now reached Elizabeth, standing in front of her. He was so close she could probably reach out and touch him.
She hesitantly lifted her hand up to do just that, then dropped it again.
"No go ahead, touch me. Lessee if you can put your hand through me like I'm Patrick Swayze" he chuckled.
She looked into his eyes, wiped the tears from her cheeks and wiped her hands nervously on her thighs.
"Go ahead", he said again, giving her that smile of his. She put her hand out again and extended her arm.
She touched his chest. Right around the area she shot him. He was solid. Real.
Her other hand went to her mouth and she gasped. She tried to pull her hand from his chest.
He grabbed her hand. Held it there and in a swift movement closed the gap between them. He tilted his head and smiled, and then looked down at her swollen belly which was comically pressed against his decidedly leaner one.
"Elizabeth..." he said lazily, his eyebrows raised, playfully chastising her. He gently pushed a lock of her hair from her face. Her heart ached at the familiar gesture. "You've gotten kinda chunky since I last saw you" he said teasingly.
She looked down at her belly, her mouth open, eyes wide.
"You been missing me, huh? Hitting that ice cream hard, huh?"
Elizabeth finally found her voice. "That's not ice cream and you know it" she said angrily.
"Oh, I see!" He said, with fake glee. "Dean must be SO proud".
Elizabeth's scowled "try again, Rio" she snapped.
"Oooooh you mean that big ol' bun in the oven's mine?" he said, feigning shock.
"You know it is. It's a girl by the way. Congratulations Daddy" she spat.
For a split-second Rios eyes softened but the cold steel soon returned. He leant forward and whispered in her ear menacingly "you gonna tell her what you did to her papi?"
Suddenly all the emotions she had been pushing down erupted. Her face crumpled.
Rio started at her, puzzled.
She let out a primal sounding wail, hiding her face behind her hands, backing away from Rio until she felt the counter behind her. She slid towards the floor, sobbing like a child, and sat down clumsily and heavily, her legs in a V-shape in front of her.
She took a deep shuddering breath and leant her head back towards the cupboards, eyes scrunched up, continuing to wail and cry.
Rio looked shocked. This wasn't the Beth he was used to. Where was her fight? He sighed, found some tissue and hunched down to her level and handed her it. "What am I gonna to do with you, Elizabeth" he said softly.
Elizabeth took the tissue and blew her nose noisily, her red eyes glaring at him, a mixture of sulk and resignation. "Well... whatever it is, you better do it down here because I am not getting up again" she said with a pout.
Rio threw his head back and laughed, a genuine, spontaneous laugh. She found herself laughing along. The laughter died down and an awkwardness settled upon them. The moment was lost.
Beth eyed him suspiciously. She couldn't trust him. She knew that. She wished so deeply she could.
He got up and moved round to sit down next to her, his back against the cupboard. He turned to look at her.
She looked back at him earnestly "you know I am actually sorry... and I have missed you" she said, her voice breaking slightly.
He took a deep breath "you know, I actually believe you" said Rio and moved his hand towards her face to do that thing with her hair again. It always sent shivers down her spine.
"I must need my head examining" she said with a croak.
He nodded. "Me too" he said. His words seemed to suggest he'd missed her too, but she didn't want to get caught up in a school girl fantasy where she tricked herself into believing he cared for her again.
The silence between them weighed heavy as they continued looking at each other, that familiar chemistry back in full swing.
Beth reached out and hesitantly put her hand on his chest, where she had seen the bullets rip him apart. Tears started forming in her eyes again.
He sat very still, barely breathing. He looked down at her hand, then her belly for a few seconds. His gaze then made the journey up her body to her face. Beth found herself nearly hyperventilating, feeling aroused and scared all at once.
Suddenly Rios phone beeped "I gotta go" he said. "My new boss keeps me onna tight leash" he said with a twinkle in his eye. "He wouldn't be too pleased if he knew I was here".
New boss?! Thought Beth. Oh great. Probably some mafia dude with a contract on my head, sending Rio to case the joint.
Rio leapt up off the floor with ease as Beth gave him a look steeped in exhaustion. I wish I could do that, she thought wistfully. She looked up at him incredulously as he started to walk off "you not going to help me out here?!"
He turned around and gave her a look that made her blush. "Nah mama, sorry I ain't got the time. Don't get me wrong you got that...umm...glow..." he said, with a look that gave her goosebumps, "and I gotta say, pregnancy has brought out the best of your... er... assets, he said, tilting his head in appreciation. "But I gotta go, else bossman will come looking" he said with a flirty wink.
He disappeared from view, but she heard him call "I will be seeing you Elizabeth" as he headed out the back door.
"I meant help me up off the FLOOR" she called out to the empty kitchen. Next to her was a pickle, unscathed from its pickle jar accident. She picked it up, eyeballed it for any fluff and then popped it in her mouth.