Part 1 of Rohan vs. New puppy
Koichi had always wanted a dog. Specifically a Shiba Inu. They were so small and adorable. He wanted one to cuddle and baby and train. He wanted a dog to cherish and take care of. It would liven up the house when it felt dreary and lonely.
Whenever Rohan locked himself away in his study the house had an eery desolate feeling to it. Koichi hated it. He felt that he needed company and a dog would be the perfect addition to their family.
Koichi and Rohan had separate rooms and occasionally one would spend the night in the other's room. Rohan had decided to spend the night with Koichi. The two of them cuddled together their fingers intertwined.
Koichi was nervous about his inquiry. He fidgeted a little and snuggled into his husband's chest for reassurance. After spending a few minutes listening to Rohan's heartbeat he says,''Um...so..''
Rohan sighs,''What did you do this time?''
''Nothing...I just um...I um...I really want a puppy...'' Koichi says softly. Rohan who had his face covered by his hair went rigid. Koichi could just feel Rohan's look of disgust.
''Why?''
''Because I want a puppy...''
''Why?'
''Because they're cute and loyal...and fluffy and playful...''
''All qualities that can be found in me,'' Rohan said flatly.
''Nope...not at all...''Koichi refuted.
Rohan scoffed,''I don't want animals in here.''
''Why not?''
''They shit and piss everywhere, leave hair all over furniture, slobber on everything, they're dumb as rocks, and you have to take care of them...they're like children but somehow more idiotic. It's like a child...a brainless child...a zombie child...''
''What!? Rohan are you awake!?'' Koichi hisses looking up at his husband and indeed he was. He was awake and glaring down at the other man.
''I will take care of our child. You just focus on making your deadlines.''
''Our child!? An animal can not substitute for an offspring...''Rohan grunts.
''I want a dog!''
''No!''
''Didn't you have a dog growing up?''
''Ugh...no. My neighbor did. It was annoying and always licked me and jumped on me. I hated that thing!''
''Well I'm adopting one regardless...''Koichi says stubbornly.
''Is the great Kishibe Rohan not enough for you?'' Rohan asks looking offended.
Koichi rolls his eyes in exasperation,''I'm adopting our son tomorrow!''
''I am divorcing you,'' Rohan said with conviction. Koichi couldn't help it but he laughed in his face. He knew it was rude but he let out a loud laugh at his husband's glare.
After calming down a little Koichi hums,''So let me get this right...you're divorcing me because...I'm adopting a dog?''
''Yes,'' Rohan grunted.
''Okay...Well me and our son will be moved out by the end of the week. We'll move in with stepdaddy.''
''Whatever,'' Rohan grunted crossing his arms.
Koichi wondered if Rohan really heard him for a little bit. Two minutes passed before Rohan gasped and sat up straight knocking Koichi off of him,''What!?''
''Why did it take you so long to understand what I said Rohan?'' Koichi ask chuckling. Rohan looked like the woman from the math meme. Eyes darting to and fro as he took in everything Koichi said,''Stepdaddy! The fuck?''
''If we divorce I have a backup daddy for our son,'' Koichi says smirking.
Rohan glowers,''Who is it?''
Koichi slides off the bed slowly and says quickly,''Josuke.''
He was halfway out the door laughing by the time Rohan made to strangle him.