I would strongly, strongly, STRONGLY advice you to read the first part of this story, Perfection in her Own Way. But, I think that the great part of this is that if you refuse to read it, I can catch you up!
Kagome was suffering from brain cancer when she met Sesshoumaru. As they began to develop a friendship, she underwent surgery. During the operation, they discovered that the cancer had spread to her larynx, or her voice box. They performed laryngectomy, the removal of the vocal cords. (Yeah, it's a real procedure!) This story picks up from the aftermath, what happens afterwards.
By the way, for all you medical people out there, the procedure mentioned in this story was made IN MY MIND. I don't even know if it's possible. I was watching Because I'm A Girl by Kiss, and I was wondering if, instead of the eyes, you could donate another important part of your body to another person.
Like your voice.
OoO~OoO
Kagome came back to Shikon High School after two months, donning a short cap of black, fake hair and a purse full of pills. Her face, though unchanged physically, carried a heavy expression.
One month after her surgery, she was well enough to gain the balance required for walking. She took her first few steps to the bathroom, fell, and sprained her wrist.
Kagome was not alone.
Sesshoumaru had been with her every day, either quietly observing her in the dark corner of her hospital room, or discussing random subjects with her on the weirdest topics. Her voice, though gone, was not needed for him. He filled in the awkward moments for her, became her voice, both literally and physically.
She could still write responses to him through paper, and often did. Sesshoumaru would respond as if spoken directly to, and held frequent conversations with her that way. When either Sango or Miroku would visit her, he would often translate her messy handwriting into a voice, speaking when she could not.
InuYasha never visited her again during her two months at the hospital, which was why he hesitated when she first stepped through the automatic glass doors, Sesshoumaru trailing her steps like a watchdog.
"Kagome!" Sango cried out as she broke through the excited crowd that was beginning to gather around the girl. "Welcome back!"
Kagome grinned, cheeks flushed in delight, and hugged her friend back. She pulled out her notebook from her pocket and scribbled furiously.
Happy to be back was what she held up for her to see. Sango smiled grimly and glanced once at the elastic bandage that was tied around Kagome's thin neck like a collar. Sesshoumaru's face darkened for a brief second as he quickly caught her expression.
"Kagome, come on. You'll be late," he said slowly, hooking an arm around her tiny waist and leading her away. Sango caught her elbow as she swung by and smiled. Miroku fell behind her back, whistling a random tune.
A few girls in the hallway scowled at the two as they passed by in their seemingly intimate posture. During those two months, many had tried unsuccessfully to win Sesshoumaru's heart. Immediately after class, he would dash to the hospital, infuriating many of the females.
Kagome didn't notice, her head still up in the clouds. She had been dreaming about this day since she had first opened her sleepy eyes after surgery. School was a welcome to her after her monotone schedule. Her doctor had slipped a cell phone in her pocket before she left, urging her to call if she got tired or had any problems.
He, as well as Kagome, however, knew that this would be rare with her "guardian angel" standing so close by.
InuYasha was at his locker when he caught sight of Kagome again at lunchtime, grinning over her burger and bottle of meds. Although still frail and delicate, her color had come back as rosy pink and her eyes wide, excited, and bright again.
A far cry from that day he had seen her in the hospital, withered like a daisy with no water.
The day his heart fell and broke into a million pieces.
Now, with her back into the scene, he didn't know what to do. Sango and Miroku had stopped hanging around him once they had realized what was going on, leaving him nothing to fall back on. No friends to turn to.
So InuYasha had two months to himself as he fell into depression, thinking about the one girl who broke his heart without actually touching it in the first place.
The two most miserable months in his life as Sesshoumaru gave him the longest cold shoulder ever.
"So, do you think you two could come with us to the ice cream shop down the road later? My treat!" Miroku wiggled his eyesbrows as Sango whacked the back of his head with her tray, laughing. They acted like nothing had happened in the first place, which was one reason why Sesshoumaru let her eat lunch with the couple.
I'd love to! Kagome jotted down. With a look directed towards Sesshoumaru, she added, Can we?
He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, knowing that he could never say no to her puppy dog face. Or any other face. Sango and her boyfriend glanced at him expectantly.
"We'll see. I'll have to tell your doctor first…"
No, don't! He'll just throw in another appointment again to stop me from my mint chocolate chip ice cream!
"Yeah, come on Sessh!" Sango pleaded.
"Peer pressure, peer pressure!"
Sesshoumaru caved in, for the record.
OoO~OoO
I'm tired of this! Kagome wrote down for the fifth time. Her sign language instructor had nearly given up on his pupil when he caught her doodling on her notebook again.
Sesshoumaru had mastered sign language in only three-and-a-half months whereas Kagome was still stuck on signing her name and saying "I love you." Her doctor claimed that it was easier than writing down her thoughts, but Kagome was different.
"Kagome, can you show me the letter 'A' again?" he sighed, smoothing out his goatee. Sesshoumaru glanced at Kagome with a confidant smirk.
She blinked, stared at her hands, and blinked again. Finally, she looked up at her instructor with a completely lost expression.
A vein pulsed in the man's temple as he held up a fist.
"'A', okay? Memorize this! 'A!'"
Kagome held her fist up too and grinned widely, pleased to have accomplished something.
The end of senior year was quickly approaching, meaning the end of school and the beginning of independent lives.
It was Sango who suggested that Kagome write the speech, and almost everyone agreed. Sesshoumaru, of course, would read it as Kagome would stand nearby.
Miroku was the one who thought it would be "so cool" if she learned sign language. At the sight of Kagome's confused face, Sesshoumaru nearly ripped his throat out until she blatantly agreed. She quickly wrote that it would be easier than having to write everything, and the next day, they had it finalized by her doctor.
The bald doctor groaned, a vein pulsing in his forehead.
"When did you say your graduation was?" he sighed.
Kagome, as optimistic as always, held up three fingers with a big grin. The man glanced at Sesshoumaru for a translation.
"Three months."
"Holy cow, three months?" he yelped helplessly, wiping the sweat off of his bald forehead. "I'll need a miracle to have her signing by then."
Kagome bit her lip and looked at the black and white clock hanging by the wall, the seconds slowing down. Without a word, she quietly stood up and left the room. Sesshoumaru stared at her in shock until he ran after her, throwing an icy glare at the flabbergasted man.
"Kagome, wait! Hold on!"
He caught up to her and she trudged down the sidewalk, her notebook wrapped in her long, pale arms. She sniffed and wiped a stray tear.
"You know, no one's forcing you to do this. No one expecting anything," Sesshoumaru quietly said after a few minutes. Kagome sniffed again and brought out her notebook.
I know. But I feel bad. I promised everyone, and I want to disappoint no one.
"No one's going to be disappointed, Kagome," he said, his tone hardening.
She wrote nothing for a while as they walked silently along the path, birds chirping brightly overhead. Finally, she brought out her pencil.
Why are you doing this, Sesshoumaru? Why do you care so much?
He stopped short at her letters, his mouth partly open due to loss of words. A slight blush scattered across his cheekbones, so faint that Kagome would've missed it if she hadn't been staring at his face.
"I…well… I just want you to be happy. After everything you've gone through…" Sesshoumaru cut off abruptly and looked away, flustered. "What can I do to help, Kagome? I feel so bad, not hearing your voice anymore. I almost feel responsible for this. You deserve more, but what can I do?"
Kagome, without another written word, slipped her hand in his and squeezed his, smiling happily. Sesshouamru smiled sadly back; it was just too contagious.
"Thank-you," she mouthed, and they both walked home in silence together, their minds unknowingly dwelling on each other.
OoO~OoO
The accident happened a week later, the one moment Sesshoumaru's back was turned.
"Kagome!"
She turned at the sound and cautiously watched three beautiful girls stride towards her down the hallway, donning the least amount of clothes possible.
Kagome was wary; these three girls were the one's most infatuated with Sesshoumaru. They had caused her a lot of trouble ever since she had walked into the school that first day by his side.
Hi, she scribbled, nervously looking over her shoulder. Sesshoumaru was still in his classroom, discussing something with her. Kagome was waiting by the door, a tradition for her now.
"Watsup, Mute?" one of the girls, a gorgeous blond sneered, flipping her glossy hair.
"Let's get this over with," a short, tiny black-haired girl whispered to the taller redhead. She, in turn, nodded and flipped her narrowed, blue eyes towards Kagome, who was slowly backing up into the corner. Last year, they were nearly expelled for beating up one girl who tried to hit on Sesshoumaru and leaving her in the dumpster.
Kagome felt no different.
"That's so lame! The hell is this nerdy thing?" the red-haired girl snorted, snatching the notebook out of her hands. Kagome froze as she flipped through the small item, her red lips twisted upwards in a sneer. When she seemed satisfied, she laughed and started ripping pages out, throwing them to the ground and stepping on them.
"I don't want that lame thing!" the blond giggled when the notebook was thrown at her. They all laughed together as Kagome tried to quickly pick the torn pages up.
The black-haired one, finding her opportunity, landed a hard kick on Kagome's side. Not able to cry out in pain, she doubled over, tears smarting her eyes.
"Look at Ms. Dumb. She can't even scream," she cackled. The others laughed too and started dragging her away.
When Kagome weakly struggled, she was mercilessly dropped on the concrete and kicked several times, all the while voicelessly crying out to Sesshoumaru for help as the pain raged on and on.
When tired of digging their heels into her frail body, the tall redhead dragged her by the collar and threw her down over and over again, like a broken rag doll. Her arm snapped with an audible crunch, and the group threw her down one more time.
"That should teach the bitch to keep her dirty little paws off of Sesshoumaru," one of them hooted as they left her on the floor, violently choking up blood and silently crying.
She waiting until their footsteps were lost in the distance until she attempted to stand up again, each breath drawing in more pain. Her arm dangled against her side uselessly, fire clawing up the break.
That was how he found her when he finally opened to door, ten minutes too late.
"KAGOME!"
She struggled through the pain to keep her eyes open, to keep from fainting. Smiling wearily, her next breath was cut short by a cough. More crimson splattered against his pants.
"PLEASE, SOMEBODY HELP!" he cried out, scooping her body up in his arms and taking off down the hall. "PLEASE! I HAVE AN INJURED GIRL!! SOMEBODY!!"
Sesshoumaru cried for the first time.
Really cried.
He choked and sobbed when the paramedics pried her out of his arms and threw her into the ambulance. Cried as he watched the flashing lights disappear, watched her disappear.
Sesshoumaru cried for both of them.
OoO~OoO
"Is it really possible?" he asked, his voice full of doubt. The doctor sighed and raked his fingers through his hair.
"It's just recently been proven by scientists. The mice showed more progress after the procedure." He glanced at Sesshoumaru, his eyes narrowing. "But are you one-hundred percent sure that you want to do this?"
He fell silent, feeling the same old headache forming again. Kagome was passed out for three full days. During that time, four ribs were bound and her bent arm in a cast. Sesshoumaru, as before, sat by her side those entire three days and nights, neither sleeping, eating, nor drinking. It was only during that morning that he ate half a sandwich and drank an entire water bottle.
"What happened to the other mouse?" he said quietly, his gaze focused on the small pendant in his hand. It had fallen off of Kagome's neck as he was carrying her. It was a tiny glass angel, wings outstretched. He had given it to her a short time after her first hospital visit.
"It… didn't do so well. No vocal sounds were heard from it anymore."
"Oh."
"Listen," the doctor sighed again, "Kagome's done so well after her laryngectomy. Why change that now? I could always enroll her in an esophageal-speech class…"
Sesshoumaru sent him such an icy glare, the doctor coughed and looked out the window.
"And what's the point of that? Only sixty percent of patients master that. Why let her suffer any longer than she has to?"
"Why suffer for her?"
Sesshoumaru took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before looking up at him with tears watering his golden eyes.
"Because I love her."
OoO~OoO
Later on that afternoon, Sesshoumaru stood by Kagome's bed, tears running down his pale, thin cheeks.
"Goodbye, sweetheart," he whispered, cutting off in a sob as he placed his hand over hers. "I'd give you the world if I could."
The door cracked open, and the doctor stuck his head in.
"Sesshoumaru, time's up."
Nodding, he bent over her still form and gently kissed her forehead.
"I wish that you could hear me say that I love you."
Her head unconsciously tilted towards him as he walked out of the room without a backward glance, knowing that nothing would ever be the same again.
OoO~OoO
The next day, as Kagome was beginning to come out of anesthesia, something weird happened.
She had a sore throat.
As she cracked her eyes open, feathering her eyelashes across the breech, she coughed softly. The movement disturbed her ribs, and she winced, clutching at the bandages across her ribs.
There were bandages around her neck again too.
Kagome reached for the notebook that she always kept to the right of her, and sighed. The memories came back at her like a smack in the face.
A kick in the ribs.
Suddenly, her eyes snapped open and she whipped her head around, expecting to see Sesshoumaru slouching on the chair, that gentle smile on his face reassuring her and bringing her back to life.
To her shock and utter disappointment, no one sat in the worn-out chair. A sheer emptiness filled her heart, and tears began to pool around her eyes.
"Umm…"
She whirled on the quiet, shy voice and was even more surprised to see InuYasha in the shadows of her room, a bouquet of roses clutched in hand. Kagome smiled and sat back on her bed, glad to see a familiar face.
InuYasha shifted uncomfortably on his feet, his face red. He looked awkward and unsure of himself. He approached Kagome like she was a piece of broken glass. Her smile only broadened.
"H-how are you feeling?"
Kagome threw a thumbs-up sign. At least her optimism was coming back.
InYasha frowned, staring at the bandages around her neck. She unconsciously touched them.
"Did the procedure work? I came over as soon as Sesshoumaru called a few days ago," InuYasha mumbled on, still a shadow of the fun-loving, confidant boy he used to be. He set down the roses and looked around.
Kagome stared blankly at him, still not sure what he was talking about. He cocked his head and drew his eyebrows together.
"You mean…he didn't tell you?"
She shook her head, confused. InuYasha sighed and scratched his head, looking up at the ceiling.
"Sesshoumaru donated his larynx to you. You can talk now, Kagome."
She froze in place, her eyes wide. Slowly, she brought her hand up to the bandages, understanding filling up every pore in her body.
A single tear slipped down her pale, thin cheek.
"W…wh….why?" Kagome croaked. She could defiantly feel the vibrations in her throat again, something that she really missed. However, a dreaded cold tingle ran up her body as the full impact of the message hit her.
Kagome began sobbing and buried her face in her good hand, crying openly. InuYasha freaked, but only rested his hand on her back, awkwardly patting.
"He wanted to. Sesshoumaru wouldn't have been happier any other way."
A single sheet of paper dropped on her lap and they both froze.
I really wouldn't have been, it read in neat cursive.
Sesshoumru towered over her, bandages around his neck too. His little brother backed up into the wall again as she squealed and hugged him. He hugged her back, a smiled curling his lips.
Sesshoumaru leaned back and took out a notebook, making Kagome serious again. She sat straight, afraid to say anything. Nobody noticed InuYasha as he slipped out the door, finally content with life and relieved.
Say something. I like to hear you talk.
"I love you, Sesshoumaru," she said again in her raspy voice. It gradually cleared out with every word. He stiffened and smiled happily at her.
I love you too. I wouldn't have this any other way, just as long as you keep smiling, Kagome.
She sniffed and kissed his cheek, resting her forehead on his collarbone. He wrapped an arm around her frail shoulders, fully complete in life.
"I will. I promise, just as long as you stay with me," she whispered, wiping her damp cheeks. He brushed her face with the edge of his thumb.
You have nothing to worry about.
The two sat in the room for the longest time, content with each other's presence.
OoO~OoO
Kagome cleared her voice nervously as the excited chatter throughout the stadium dimmed down. As she looked out at the sea of blue graduation hats, she spotted the one that mattered most to her. Sesshoumaru smiled and waved as she came to the end of her speech.
"And so," she called out in a powerful and beautiful voice, "we all finish in the same way we started: confused, afraid, and excited. But we are all not alone."
She spotted Sango and Miroku near the front, hands interlocked as unsual. He gave a toothy grin as Sango sweetly smiled, her eyes sparkling.
The girls who beat her were, thankfully, suspended.
"However lost we are, however scared or alone we feel out there in the world, we know that we always have a safety net behind us, the person who will catch us if we fall."
InuYasha grinned at her from where he sat in the back. His mischievous personality was beginning to emerge again.
"It may not seem obvious at first, but we have to trust them, trust ourselves, and in the end…" she aimed a smile at the crowd, at him, "…it'll all work out."
During the next half hour, she passed out diplomas and shook hundreds of hands, trying to encourage each and every person.
Sesshoumaru strode up to her in his formal matter and, before she could give him his diploma, he crushed her in a hug. The crowd cheered and hats were thrown in the air. It rained blue as the stadium erupted.
"Thank-you Sesshoumaru," she whispered to his ears only, "for more than everything you've given me. A life, a voice, and love."
You're more than welcome, sweetheart.
They walked off together,smiling and joined by something stronger than both of them combined.
They never looked back.
OoO~OoO
So yeah, I made Sesshoumaru a mute. Feels so weird! Don't keel me! Just to conclude things, Sesshoumaru himself got a donor voice box, and I'll give cyber cookies to whoever can guess who gave it to him.
If you say "Kagome," I'm going to laugh at your miserable hide.