Words I Couldn't Say
Disclaimer: The song used in the story is sung by Rascal Flatts. I do not own it. Nor, do I own any of the Newsies, except Pallet.
Author's note: I recommend listening to the song as you read.
"Spot, you can't keep doing this to me! If you loved me, you wouldn't keep shutting me out. I love you but if you don't love me I can't - I won't stay. Do you love me Spot?"
"Pallet, I… I'm sorry, I just-"
"Bye Spot." She grabbed her bags, turned and left…
In a book- in a box- in the closet
In a line- in a song I once heard
In a moment on a front porch late one June
In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon
"That's the last time I saw her, Jack…" Spot said sitting on the roof.
"And you didn't say anything?" Jack sat down next to him.
"No… I tried but I couldn't…"
"Why not? Were you afraid that if you admitted that you loved her that you would lose her too? Like your whole family?"
"Yes, and now I've lost her anyways." Spot laid his face in his hands.
"Here Spot. I found this in the closet, in a box of her things." Jack pulled something out of his pocket.
Spot picked his head up and took the book. "What is it?"
"I think it's her journal. From the look of the dates, she started it when she met you." Jack got up and headed down the ladder. "I'll be downstairs."
There it was at the tip of my fingers
There it was on the tip of my tongue
There you were and I had never been that far
There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms
And I let it all slip away
What do I do now that you're gone
No backup plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say
Spot opened it up and ruffled through the pages.
January 5th, 1897
Today, I met the cutest, sweetest guy. Jack says that he's the leader of the Brooklyn newsies. I hope I meet him again soon. Jack said he'll be back to Manhattan in a week.
Spot smiled and skipped ahead a couple pages.
January 19th, 1897
Tonight, I had my first date with Spot. He was so nice and he's so romantic…
May 6th, 1897
Today, Spot took me on a picnic in Central Park. It was fantastic. He packed a very elaborate dinner for us to share. Then, as we sat and watched the sunset, he asked me to be his girl! I guess Jack was right when he said that Spot hanging around Manhattan so much meant he really likes me. I'm so HAPPY!
Spot skipped ahead to an entry dated a year later.
May 6th, 1898
Today, it has been exactly a year since Spot asked me to be his girl. He took me back to Central Park where we had our picnic a year ago, and we laid in the grass watching the stars. It was such a simple date but I loved it. I love him so much and tonight, I told him for the first time. He didn't say anything but I know he will in time…
July 14th, 1898
Spot and I got in a bad fight today. He made me cry for the first time of our relationship. Lately, he won't talk to me about what's going on with him. He's distant and moody. He yelled at me and told me it was none of my business. It is my business when something's wrong with my boyfriend…
Spot winced and skipped ahead further.
October 28th, 1898
Spot's getting even more distant and we seem to be fighting more every day. He won't talk to me about what's wrong and any time I say 'I love you' to him he just smiles and changes the subject. I don't know what to do. I don't know if he loves me anymore or for that matter, if he ever did. He NEVER says anything even if I say it first. He just kisses me as if that says it all. I need to hear him say it.
January 2nd, 1899
I'm going to talk to Spot tomorrow. I've had enough! I can't take the fighting any more. If he can't share with me, how are we supposed to work as a couple. If he can't say what I need to hear—I love you—then I don't think I can stay around here anymore. I STILL LOVE SPOT and I will ALWAYS love him but if he doesn't love me then I have no choice…
Spot shut the book… "What have I done? I've got to find her."
There's a rain that will never stop fallin
There a wall that I tried to take down
What I should have said just wouldn't pass my lips
So I held back and now we've come to this
And it too late now
"Jack, have you had any luck? Did you find her?" Spot asked, eyes full of hope.
"Spot, it's been four months since we all saw her last… What if she's not even in New York anymore?" Jack placed a hand on Spot's shoulder.
"She is, Jack. I can feel it. I've got to find her, and tell her I love her." Spot sat down on a bench. Jack picked up the paper he kept from earlier in the day and read it. A look of devastation hit his face as he read page 3.
"Spot, you better read this..," Jack handed Spot the paper.
Spot read through the story. "Oh, no!" He dropped the paper to the ground and dropped his head in his hands…
What do I do now that your gone
No backup plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say
"LOCAL GIRL MURDERED BY LOVER!" The newsies' voices permeated the air of Manhattan.
An older woman handed one of the newsies a coin, took the paper, and turned to page 3.
'A young girl by the name of Ashleigh 'Pallet' O'Shea was found dead from smoke inhalation in her apartment in Lower Manhattan on Friday, May 15th. She was found lying in bed-clutching a picture of a young man with a love letter beside her on the bed-by the fire squad, late Friday evening during an apartment fire rescue. The girl has no known relatives so if anyone would like to claim the body for burial, please stop by Reirdan's Funeral Home in the Lower Manhattan. Condolences go out to her friends and family.'
What do I do now that your gone
No backup plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say
All the Manhattan newsies were gathered in the cemetery to pay respects to their friend Pallet, and to be with Spot and Jack. As the wooden box was lowered into the ground, a tear made its way down Spot's cheek. He knelt down on the ground and dropped his signature key-necklace on top of the coffin. Just as the dirt was being placed on top of the box, Spot finally said the three words Pallet wanted to hear… "Pallet, I Love You… I'll always love you…"
The End
A/n: Thank you everyone who read my story. Please send me reviews and let me know how I did and if you liked it. Thanks again.