Her view was blurred.
She slightly noticed that her legs were giving in, but she didn't care.
Nobody had seen her going into the bathroom and her chances were pretty good, that nobody would walk in on her losing her control.
She didn't realize when she'd started sobbing, she only knew that right know she was crying hard.
Kensi tried to compose herself but it was senseless.
Over the last hours she had locked her feelings away, because she knew she had to be rational, professional when she wanted to get Deeks back alive.
She'd be damned if he'd get killed on her account.
It didn't matter anymore.
They had saved him, him and Sam and both were alive, pretty ruffed up and definitively not healthy, but alive.
The whole team was in the hospital waiting for them to wake up and it had just been to much.
Kensi couldn't take it anymore the pressure was gone and so was her rational thinking part.
It took all her willpower not to break down right in front of her coworkers, so she'd fled to the ladysroom.
Here she was, chest rising and falling heavily, leaning against one wall, slowly sinking to the ground.
In the corner of her eye the special agent could see her reflection in the mirror and it made her sob harder.
She looked so broken and she didn't understand why.
Everything was fine Deeks and Sam were alright.
A sudden anger rose inside of her while thinking of Sam.
She felt ashamed of it but she blamed him.
Because of him Deeks had gone through hell and because of his wife she hadn't been there to go through it with him together.
Okay that wasn't true it was not really Sams fault, but she needed someone to blame.
Deeks mouth had looked like a eagle had attacked it with its claws.
Kensi couldn't imagine the pain he must have been in and still he hadn't blown Micheles cover.
Pride grew inside her and with it the anger, hurt and desperation slowly disappeared.
She had stopped crying and was now sitting on the bathroom floor, hugging herself and trying to get her breathing under control.
After a few more minutes she stood up and observed herself in the mirror.
Grimacing at her clear tear tracks and red puffy eyes, she splashed cold water in her face.
It didn't look so much better but there was nothing else she could do.
Kensi took one last composing breath before reaching for the doorknob and stepping into the hallway.
She walked up to her friends who all gave her knowing and sympathizing looks, which she just ignored.
"Any news?" Her voice was still shaky but she didn't really care.
"Sam woke up 5 minutes ago, Michele and his daughter are with her and Deeks mumbled some things, he should wake up soon." Callen answered her.
"What did he say?" Kensi was curious.
Nell smiled at her"Your name..."
A few months earlier she may have blushed but now she was just happy.
"I want to see him."
She commanded.
"Kens, he isn't awake ye..." Callen began
"I want to see him!" She said sharp.
Eric who was a bit scared by her killer look said " He is in room 182."
Kensi just nodded at him and quickly made her way to Deeks hospital room.
She sat down on the edge of his bed and took his hand in hers.
"Hey" She whispered softly.
No answer.
She felt new tears building in her eyes.
"Please wake up. It's all so messy and I need you, to make it good again."
Still no response, but Kensi could have sworn she saw his jaw tightening.
"Can you hear me?"
She almost laughed at herself for asking this question. If he could he would have opened his eyes by now.
Kensi felt a tear escaping her eye and making its way down her cheek.
She hesitantly reached for his and cupped it with her other hand.
Stoking his cheekbone she whispered.
"I miss you and it have only been two days. I miss your jokes, your maddening way of putting everything on the bright side... just everything! I miss you so much Marty."
With that she bent down and pressed her lips on his.
She heard someone snapping surprised for air but she couldn't care less who walked in on her because she felt the soft lips beneath her mouth responding.
Kensi opened her eyes and lost herself in his blue ones that were staring right up at her with wonder, adoration and relief clearly evident in them.
They continued to kiss, now a bit more passionate until someone cleared his throat.
She broke the lip lock and turned around to see Callen, Hetty, Nell and Eric standing in the door.
"Am I the only one who is reminded of Sleeping Beauty?"
Nell asked grinning.
Deeks hoarse voice made Kensi turn back around to him.
"As far as I remember, it was the princess that was sleeping and no one interrupted the two during the wake up kiss."
She chuckled and bent down once again to kiss him a second time, just a simple short kiss but still it was a promise of more.
Smiling like fools they both stared at each other.
"As much as I hate to interrupt this heartwarming moment, I thought you guys would like to know that we got …... "
Callen said trying to suppress a chuckle.
"Great!" Came the response from Deeks.
"What that's all I get, great?"
"Hey man, don't take it personally, but I'm kind of distracted by the burning ache in my mouth."
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry I totally forgot..." Kensi began as she realized tat kissing couldn't have been pleasant with all the wounds in Martys gums.
"Shhh..." Deeks interrupted her. "Totally worth the pain"
"Awww" Eric said ruining the moment.
Everybody was looking at him with raised eyebrows.
"What I'm a romantic, always have been."
Nell laughed at him. "Come on softie, let's give them a little privacy." And with that she took his hand and tugged at him to signalize him to follow her.
Throwing one last look over his shoulder he left the room.
Hetty walked up to the bed and whispered something into Deeks ear, then she left too.
Callen was still standing in the door observing the two Agents.
"You kind of creeping me out here Callen." Deeks said.
"You hut her, I will hunt you down and make you bleed."
He said seriously.
Kensi rolled her eyes but Deeks answered with Callens seriousness " I know."
The team leader smiled at that. "Good" And with that he left them both in the room.
He had known it from the first day.
Deeks and Kensi just belonged together and he was happy that they finally relized it.
Kensi had rested her head on Martys chest and he was stroking her hair.
"What did Hetty say to you?"
Deeks laughed "She said, Sunshine and gunpowder."