The temperatures recently dipped down to -40 where I live, so this idea for a story came to mind. This fic takes place in season 20, but Billie doesn't exist and Amanda isn't dating Dr. Al.
This story will be a two-shot, and I might bump it up to an M rating for the next chapter.
Happy Valentine's Day! :)
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Amanda Rollins is freezing.
She can't seem to control the intense shivers that are wracking her small frame, no matter how hard she tries, her body shuddering from head to toe as the couch she is lying on shakes back and forth with the force of her vigorous movements.
It takes Amanda a moment to remember why she is curled up on a sofa in the middle of the night instead of her own bed, before recalling the playdate that she and Jesse had shared with Olivia and Noah several hours earlier. It had been way too cold to do anything outside since New York is currently ensconced in a deep-freeze of epic proportions, so they had decided on a cozy movie night at Olivia's place, the four of them cuddled up in front of the television together with Frannie snoring on the floor at their feet.
This has been their typical routine for quite some time now; a playdate every week on either Friday or Saturday night, depending on what their work schedules allow, with the occasional unplanned sleepover thrown in for good measure. An unexpected slumber party had ended up happening again tonight, and after getting the kids settled in Noah's room when they had grown tired and cranky, Amanda had indulged in some wine with her lieutenant before taking Frannie for a quick walk in the frigid temperatures.
Fully intending on waking Jesse up so the three of them could head home and Olivia could go to bed, Amanda had made the decision to have one more glass of wine when she had returned, promptly growing drowsy and dozing off on the brunette's couch shortly afterwards. It is obvious by the empty space beside her and the dark silence of the apartment beyond, that Olivia has gone to bed at some point over the past little while but not before thoughtfully tucking a blanket around Amanda's small form.
The thin material isn't enough to ward off the chill that she hasn't been able to get rid of since her stroll with Frannie through the icy streets, and Amanda struggles into a sitting position on the cushions, glancing around the room for something warmer to cover herself with. When she is unable to spot anything else that she can use, and the plaid shirt and jeans she is wearing are just not cutting it, Amanda gets to her feet and hops up and down for a few seconds in an effort to generate some heat.
Frannie is still sprawled in a furry lump on the floor, snoozing contentedly as a soft snore emits from her mouth, Amanda creeping by her pet's prone figure and tiptoeing toward the back of the apartment. A quick peek into Noah's room brings a tender smile to her lips, both kids tucked side by side into the little boy's bed and Jesse's tiny arms wrapped around Eddie the elephant, Noah's favorite stuffed toy.
She throws a longing glance at her boss' bedroom, Olivia's door standing wide open and an indistinct lump visible beneath the covers on the mattress, the brunette murmuring something unintelligible while she sleeps. Amanda has the urge to stride over to the bed and slip beneath the blankets next to Olivia, cuddling close to the older woman in an attempt to get warm, even though she knows how inappropriate that would be.
Rather than snuggling up with the boss that she has developed more than friendly feelings for lately, she decides to rummage through the linen closet in search of another blanket to add to her little nest on the couch. The shivers are intensifying as she whirls away from the door and tries to ignore the pang of disappointment in her chest at the prospect of returning to the living room alone, when a raspy voice suddenly stops Amanda in her tracks.
"Rollins? What are you doing?"
Amanda rolls her eyes at Olivia's formal use of her name, like they are still at the precinct instead of having an impromptu slumber party with their kids, surprised to feel a slight amount of hurt at the monicker. "I'm just looking for some extra blankets," she whispers, craning her neck to make out the huddled form in the dark and sidling closer to the door again. "It's a little chilly out on the couch."
"I can see you shaking from here," Olivia replies softly, the twinge of hurt swiftly melting away at the obvious concern in the other woman's voice and Amanda chiding herself for acting like an immature teenager with a crush.
"I haven't been able to get warm since I took Frannie for that walk," she mumbles through chattering teeth, tossing an accusatory look toward her snoozing pet, as if the dog's need for a bathroom break and some exercise is her own fault.
"That couch isn't very comfortable to sleep on," Olivia continues in a low tone, Amanda watching as she props herself up higher against the pillows, thick hair already mussed and standing out in adorable tufts around her head. "It left me with an aching back the few times that I've been unfortunate enough to fall asleep there."
"It's fine," Amanda answers with a shrug, dragging one fluffy-socked foot awkwardly back and forth along the floor as she tries to push down the trace of hope that Olivia will invite her into her bed.
A somewhat tense silence stretches out between them before Olivia holds up a corner of the covers, her normally confident voice sounding much more timid when she speaks again. "You can share with me, if you want."
Amanda's heart gives an excited leap in response, the organ immediately starting up a frantic rhythm inside her chest, but tries to project an air of nonchalance as she saunters over to the bed, her voice casual when she answers. "Sure, that would be great, thanks."
Despite it being Olivia's idea to share the bed, Amanda stands there uncertainly for moment, waiting for the older woman to change her mind and rescind her offer before ordering her to go back out to the couch. She clears her throat roughly and traces her fingertips in uneven patterns over the soft material of the quilt, overcome with a tidal wave of nervousness and trying to maintain her composure.
"Well, you can't sleep in your jeans," Olivia chastises quietly, breaking the strained silence between them and gesturing down to the lower half of Amanda's body. "Take your pants off-"
Amanda chokes over a stunned laugh before Olivia can even finish her sentence, listening to the irritated and amused sigh that sounds in return, and trying to ignore the swell of arousal at this unexpected proposition.
"I was going to say, take your pants off so you can change into a pair of pajama bottoms. There are some in the top drawer of the dresser." Olivia shakes her head, her lip turning up at the corner in what appears to be an exasperated smile as she motions toward the chest of drawers. "Or sleep in your jeans, if that's what you want. Who am I to tell you what to do outside of work?"
"Well, I usually sleep naked, but I guess it's a bit too chilly for that tonight," Amanda blurts out before she realizes what she is saying, glad for the darkness permeating the bedroom when a blush of mortification explodes across her skin to flood her cheeks with color.
"And you're also sharing a bed with your boss," Olivia reminds her in an unreadable tone as Amanda hastily turns away and busies herself digging through the other woman's dresser so they don't have to make eye contact for a few minutes.
She drags out the process of getting ready for bed as long as she possibly can, moving painfully slowly as she picks out the warmest pair of pajamas that she can find and throwing a glance over her shoulder before beginning to get changed, wondering if Olivia's eyes are resting on her. True to character, the brunette has rolled over onto her side and is facing away from her detective with the covers pulled up to her chin to allow her some privacy, Amanda feeling another pang of disappointment as she unbuttons her shirt and slips out of her jeans, unable to help wishing that Olivia was watching her.
Once she is clad in the cozy pair of pajamas that are a size too large, she tiptoes back to the bed and resumes her previous position beside the mattress, still waiting for Olivia to revoke her invitation. The older woman finally turns her head when Amanda doesn't move, fixing her with a confused expression as those big brown eyes sweep up and down the length of the nightwear she has on.
"Well, are you going to get in or were you planning on falling asleep standing up?" Olivia asks wryly, Amanda climbing shyly beneath the blankets and getting settled next to her on sheets that smell faintly of jasmine. "That's better, Rollins. Now you'll be much more comfortable."
"Rollins," Amanda repeats snarkily under her breath, feeling another spike of annoyance and hurt at Olivia's apparent attempt to put up a wall between them, even though they are resting only a few inches apart in the same bed.
"What was that?"
Amanda looks over to see that same piercing stare as Olivia's dark orbs bore into her own blue pair, heaving a sigh and deciding to state what's on her mind. "I don't like it when you call me Rollins, Liv."
"Well, that's your name, isn't it?" Olivia's voice is relaxed and teasing, although Amanda can detect a more serious note residing underneath.
"Considering how close we've become outside of work, close enough to share your bed for the night, maybe you can just call me by my first name when we're not at the precinct." Amanda tries to keep her tone light, not wanting to let on just how much her feelings are hurt by this, and ashamed of herself for being so uncharacteristically sensitive.
"Okay, I'm sorry," Olivia replies softly, Amanda becoming aware of the hand that is now gripping onto her arm beneath the covers. "I didn't realize it bothered you. I didn't even know I was saying it, to be honest. I think it's just developed into a habit after all these years."
"It just seems like you've been doing it on purpose," Amanda murmurs as pleasant tingles radiate throughout her body when Olivia's thumb starts stroking in soothing circles. "It seems like you're trying not to get too close to me or something."
"Trying not to get too close?" Olivia echoes with a gentle laugh, the other woman giving her arm a brief squeeze. "We're lying side by side in the same bed after you fell asleep on my shoulder in the living room earlier. If that's not considered close, I don't know what is."
"I feel like it's your way of keeping some distance between us, even it's only in the form of a name," Amanda insists softly, the truth continuing to tumble out in spite of her shame at speaking it. "It just seems like it's bothering you that we've been getting closer lately."
"Why would it bother me?" Olivia asks quietly, the gentle motion of her thumb on Amanda's borrowed pajama shirt coming to a halt. "I love having playdates with our kids. And I love our time together after they go to sleep. If it bothered me, I wouldn't keep seeing you every single week outside of work."
"I love it too," Amanda whispers solemnly, noticing the stiffness that has seeped into Olivia's body as an awkward tension fills the scant space left amidst them.
Silence descends upon the room again, as if neither one of them can find the right words to continue the conversation, intense shivers still wracking Amanda's frame, but unsure of whether it's because she has remained chilled to the bone from her time in the snow or it's due to the sudden seriousness of their discussion.
"You can move a little closer, if you're still cold," Olivia finally says softly, a mixture of relief and arousal thrumming through Amanda's body at the offer.
She slowly shifts over on the mattress until they are sitting shoulder to shoulder, their thighs pressing together and feet brushing against each other, inhaling sharply when she feels Olivia's arm wrapping carefully around her shoulders. Amanda burrows more deeply into the older woman's side, snuggling against the shapely form of her friend and boss, grateful for the slight amount of warmth that is beginning to seep into her system at long last.
There is a loud gasp of shock when Amanda's fingers accidentally graze bare skin as her hand mistakenly slips beneath the hem of Olivia's pajama top while she gets settled, the noise startling her as she yanks her arm guiltily away. "Jesus, Amanda, your hand feels like a block of ice!"
Before she can move back any further, a faint smile tugging at her lips when she realizes that Olivia has actually called her by her first name, Amanda is surprised to find both of her hands grasped tenderly in the brunette's larger pair. Olivia rubs them back and forth with brisk motions, the touch of her palms igniting a fire in Amanda's body that works swiftly to banish the chill, and she begins to have the opposite problem when beads of sweat slick her skin.
Olivia's hands stroke up and down her arms before pulling Amanda close enough to cuddle into her side again, Amanda taking the opportunity to burrow comfortably against her once more. "So what were you saying about me trying to put some distance between us?" the other woman murmurs into her ear in a husky voice, a shiver running down Amanda's spine at the sensual tone that most likely wasn't used on purpose but is affecting her just the same. "Is this close enough for you? Does it seem like it's bothering me?"
"No, I guess not," Amanda concedes softly, revelling in the intimacy of their position and wondering why they haven't snuggled like this before.
"It really is just a name, you know." Olivia's mouth is still hovering right next to her ear, inducing another head-to-toe quiver. "I didn't mean anything by it."
"Okay, I'm sorry," Amanda mutters in chagrin, mentally chastising herself for bringing it up. "It was just bugging me, so I thought I would mention it."
"So what do you do on nights like this when you're freezing and alone?" Olivia's voice has taken on a teasing quality again, the older woman obviously trying to change the subject and lighten the mood. "When you don't have someone else around to keep you warm?"
"Well..." Amanda trails off as embarrassment rises up once again at the images suddenly playing out in her brain, and she wonders how many times she is capable of blushing profusely in the same night. "Do you really want to know, Liv?"
She listens to Olivia clear her throat and feels the taller woman shifting beside her on the sheets, the brunette's tone a mixture of curiosity, wariness, and something else that Amanda can't quite define. "Um, I was the one who brought it up, so yes, I really want to know."
"Well, basically I do everything I possibly can to create some heat," Amanda explains slightly breathlessly, marvelling at how just this conversation alone is contributing to the warmth that is now infusing her body.
"Like what?" she hears Olivia inquire faintly, Amanda finding it amusing that the brunette wants her to make a list of examples despite sounding so hesitant.
"Drinking coffee or hot chocolate, getting some exercise, like vacuuming the apartment or going for a run...and doing other things..." Amanda trails off again, but this time there is a suggestive hint in her tone as rampant desire mixes with the embarrassment, in complete disbelief that they are actually having this discussion.
"Other things?"
She smiles into the darkness, aware that Olivia is playing dumb now, but deciding to go along for the ride as she is thoroughly enjoying the somewhat inappropriate nature of their conversation, surprised that Olivia is now toeing the boundary line with her but doing absolutely nothing to discourage it.
"Yeah, you know...things that involve going to bed naked, like I mentioned earlier," Amanda says casually, gratified to hear the tiniest intake of breath beside her. "It's just a different form of exercise and a good way to relax when I finally have some time to myself after a long day."
"Hmm, well, this little chat seems to have taken quite a drastic turn," Olivia notes in a slightly strangled voice after a short pause, Amanda hiding a grin when it's obvious that the other woman has to make a concerted effort to speak casually. "I wasn't really expecting to hear such...personal details. This topic should probably be off-limits."
"Well, you asked," Amanda reminds her with a chuckle, elbowing Olivia playfully in the side. "I assumed you were looking for a truthful answer, so I gave you one. But, honestly, Liv, that was nothing. If you really want to hear some personal details-"
"Ah, no, it's probably best if we try to get some sleep now," Olivia interrupts swiftly, Amanda trying to ignore the dampness that is residing at the juncture of her thighs at such a silly yet arousing talk with her friend. "The kids will probably have us up at the crack of dawn and we don't want to be too tired."
"Okay, Liv, but if you need some more tips on how to stay warm during the coldest nights of the year, I'll be happy to share them with you," Amanda replies cheekily, getting settled further beneath the covers and letting her eyelids drift closed, even though sleep is the last thing on her mind.
"Yes, I'm sure you would," Olivia murmurs in a faraway voice, Amanda noticing with no small amount of pleasure that the brunette has followed her lead by sinking down into the pillows next to her, a strong arm still wrapped tightly around her body.
"So are we going to cuddle for the rest of the night, or is that off-limits too?" she asks with a chuckle, grabbing onto Olivia's arm and holding it firmly against her body when she feels the older woman begin to move.
"I was just hugging you to help you warm up," Olivia says lightly, although her motions come to an immediate halt and they continue to lie there fused together. "But now that you don't seem as cold, it might be better to sleep on opposite sides of the bed instead."
"When did I say I wasn't as cold?" Amanda instantly protests, discreetly leaning over to wipe her forehead on the shoulder of her pajama shirt to rid herself of the moisture that is dotted there.
"Well, you're clearly sweating, so I just assumed you had warmed up by now," Olivia replies dryly, Amanda cursing her body for not being able to hide anything.
"It's a cold sweat," she answers quickly, grinning once more when Olivia starts laughing at her response.
"Mmm hmm, sure it is. God, please don't tell me you want to sleep naked now that you're too hot," the older woman mutters in that unreadable tone again, Amanda arching an eyebrow at this surprising reply and the words escaping her lips before she can stop them.
"I will if you want me to."
Another beat of tense silence stretches out between them, Amanda ready to apologize and assure Olivia that she was only joking, even though this isn't entirely true, opening her mouth and then abruptly closing it again when Olivia speaks first.
"As I said before, who am I to tell you what to do outside of work? Do whatever you want."
"Wait...what?" Amanda gasps in astonishment, her heart pounding so hard inside her chest that she fears the organ is in danger of bursting right through her rib cage with the force of the movement. "Okay, so let me get this straight...it's off-limits to talk about touching myself or to spend the rest of the night snuggling, but it's okay to sleep naked? Liv, you're sorta giving me some mixed signals here, especially since you so helpfully reminded me that I'm in bed with my boss."
The words are tumbling from Amanda's mouth now and she doesn't even bother to try and stop them, the heat that is simmering inside her body exploding into an inferno that has her fingers fumbling with the buttons of the borrowed pajama shirt, eager to rid herself of the offending garment. "Will you be sleeping naked as well? And more importantly, do you have a lock on your bedroom door?"
"Yes, I do," Olivia whispers after another pause, shocking Amanda with what she says next. "Maybe I should get up and lock it."
They stare intensely at each other in the darkness, eyes wide and breathing ragged, Amanda utterly stunned at the unexpected and welcome turn this night seems to be taking, and her voice barely audible when she is finally able to speak again.
"Yeah, maybe you should."