"Miss?" prodded Anne insistently, shaking me gently. "You need to get up."
I stirred and groggily swung my legs over the side of the bed, feeling much like a zombie would coming back to life.
But I wasn't. It had been seven days sent I had almost gone home. A whole week since Maxon had last spoke to me alone. Every day it seemed more and more obvious that my days in the palace were numbered, and I had begun to give up hope. I was heartbroken before, but now with that slight glimmer of a chance that this could all work out was even more heart wrenching. Before it was clean and quick, now it seemed it would be drawn out and messy.
Lucy helped me from bed and guided me to the bathtub, which had already been filled with warm, comforting water. My three maids stood there expectantly with dark circles under their eyes. They had been trying so hard. They had been overworking themselves for me.
"He was with her again last night," cautiously stated Lucy, obviously unsure if she should tell me. Ever since the three had vowed to help me win Maxon's heart back, they had taken to listening to the gossip in the servant's quarters and reporting it back to me. Maxon had been with Kriss three times now this week.
When they were done preparing me for the day, I left for breakfast. With each careful step down the stairs, I repeated to myself that I could do this. That it was worth doing. That I could fix all of this. Each step offered a new phrase of encouragement that would prepare me for yet another disappointing day.
Lost in my own thoughts when I rounded the corner, I collided with a guard. I stumbled backwards, barely catching my balance before I tumbled to the floor.
"I'm sorry, Lady America," replied an all too familiar voice. Aspen continued forward in his patrol without another word. I stared for a moment, waiting for him to look back, to add some sly comment, but he continued forward. He took the stairs two at a time until he was out of sight.
My stomach twisted as I began my confidence boosting mantras once more.
I had to do something.
I took my seat at the table, waiting patiently for the others to arrive. I looked around the empty room, concentrating on Maxon's empty chair. I had had tugged my ear three times this week, and to each he shook his head. What was the point of keeping me around if he wasn't even going to give me a chance?
I groaned in frustration. I felt like I was constantly carrying around this weight in my chest. Before, I had been unsure between Maxon and Aspen, and now it seemed I had neither. Aspen hadn't come to see me since I was almost sent home. Had he finally decided to move on?
"Rough morning?" asked Kriss as she bounced into the room, her face glowing.
I quickly pulled myself together and returned her smile. "Just hungry," I lied.
Instead of listening to Kriss as she went on about some mishap about a family ring that her maids had carelessly broke, I dwelled on the fact that she had been with Maxon the night before. That he seemed to be devoting all his time to her, and couldn't spare a moment with me. Jealously bubbled in my veins, while I smiled and nodded at her story, keeping a polite face.
I tried to soothe my strong emotions as Celeste and Elise entered the room. I focused on keeping myself pulled together. Shortly after, the royal family entered.
Through-out breakfast, I continually tried to catch Maxon's gaze, but instead kept catching the King's smug glare. Meanwhile, Kriss carried the majority of the conversation, keeping it light and pleasantly focused. I internally kicked myself for not being more engaged. I needed to find a way to prove myself to everyone. I needed to win everyone over.
Queen Amberly excused herself from breakfast first giving instructions for the four of us to meet with her in the Woman's Room that afternoon.
"That gives us the whole morning to ourselves," stated Kriss happily. "Do you want to help me fix my ring, America?"
Realizing I must have paid too much interest in her story, I covered by saying I had planned on enjoying the morning outside with my violin.
"It's probably going to be one of the last nice ones before winter," I explained further. "You're welcome to join me." I added hesitantly. Being around Kriss was hard.
"It's already freezing out!" exclaimed Kriss, before turning to Elise and trying to commission her company while she tried to fix her ring.
After Maxon and the King excused themselves, I waited an appropriate length of time before leaving for my room to retrieve my violin. A morning in the gardens did actually sound quite relaxing. Hopefully the cold air would help clear my head. Maybe then some ingenious plot would come to me.
When I entered my room, I was met with eager lips. I immediately pushed the intruder away, jumping backwards.
Maxon closed the door behind us.
"I only have a few minutes. I haven't been able to keep you off my mind for days." And he closed the space between us and kissed me again, this time more gently.
And everything suddenly felt like it was worth it.