Flies
The early morning sun shone through the French windows of the country cottage, causing the dust motes to dance sparkling in the air, before falling gently onto the half-covered figure sprawled on the bed. A 13-tog winter duvet wrapped haphazardly around the slumbering man's tanned waist, leaving his sculpted back and shoulders naked in the light.
He seemed, to all intents and purposes, dead to his surroundings, basking in the warm rays like a lizard recharging for the day ahead. However, this was not so. One emerald green eye peeped out from under long black lashes, the only sign of awareness in the otherwise very relaxed body. The eye moved backwards and forwards, tracking the blurred blob that was smashing recklessly into the windows whilst emitting an infuriating whine and the occasionally bang as it slowly bashed itself to death. The eye disappeared gradually but the whiny, annoying buzz did not intend to die quickly and gracefully, instead it seemed intent on achieving a prolonged, noisy suicide.
Not two minutes later, the eye flashed open again and locked on its irritating target, narrowing in pent up frustration. The Saturday morning lie-in was not going to plan.
Muscles tensed minutely and tension gathered in the man's upper body, fingers curled infinitesimally on the smooth wooden length hidden under the plump pillow and the second eye slowly made an appearance. Any empathetic person would have been running for the hills, fully aware that they had just disturbed a sleeping lion; yet the poor fly ignorantly flew into the window for the five hundredth time. It was one time too many.
The tranquil bedroom scene was shattered and transformed into calculated movement as the man grabbed the secreted wand and half raised himself from the bed. Arm outstretched and hand held steady the surprise attack was quick and deadly.
"Avada Kedavra"
The whine died out in time with the fly and the soft thud of a small invertebrate body hitting the floor sounded as satisfying as the final chord of Beethoven's sonata Pathetique. The wand returned to its position as quickly as it was withdrawn and within minutes, all that could be heard were the deep breaths of sleep.
Not five minutes later, another fly having squeezed itself through a gap at the bottom of the French windows in search of warmth, flew fruitlessly at said windows in an attempt to escape the relatively sterile environment. Its pinhead-sized brain uncomprehending of the invention man called glass; it struck up a steady whine in its futile bid for freedom.
It had only been two weeks. Two weeks since Harry had finished Auror training and decided to take a gap year of sorts on his own in the countryside. Two weeks since he had discovered a menace worse than Voldemort. He blamed it on the bloody farm next door and its dratted cows. He had discovered that the glamours and guarding spells that prevented muggles from discovering the existence of his secluded getaway home, did not apply to flies.
Each morning he woke to a glorious dawn chorus of dying flies as they danced out a random tattoo on his French windows completely ruining the picturesque views of the nearby Tors (the reason he had brought the cottage). In fact, he would go so far as to say they had taken over his life, one window at a time. A day did not go by without an internal rant on the subject; they had even started stalking his dreams, no more nightmares about the final battle and Voldemort instead he was graced by visions of vicious dog sized flies with a taste for wizard flesh – it was hardly an improvement.
Harry snarled wordlessly at the ceiling and stuffed the pillow over his head but now there were two of the little fuckers whining away in a horrible, discordant cacophony.
"Piss off you wankers and let me sleep, just shut up, argh no you did not just invite a friend over to play. This is my house, do you hear me, mine." There was no let up in the incessant buzzing and with red anger clouding his vision, Harry leapt out of bed with his wand and proceeded to bludgeon the hapless threesome into a mush on the window.
"Got ya, oof, I shall not be defeated, run away in terror cowards before I bash your ugly little brains out, hi-ya!" The last fly was painfully separated from its head with a well-aimed karate chop from Harry's wand. Unfortunately, the window was not as forgiving and the wand soon received its comeuppance. Harry stared dolefully at the splintered remains in his hand. The red haze had cleared from his vision as he gazed hopelessly at the remains of one of his closest companions. The flies may have gone but so had his wand.
"RIP motherfuckers" he attempted an American accent and glared menacingly at the flies then rubbed furiously at his eyes to prevent tears as the stress of the last few weeks caught up with him. Leaving the Auror program he could deal with, living alone was doable, not seeing his friends that often was disheartening but he was just about coping, flies killing his wand was a step too far.
He slowly bent down, picked up the pieces of fly, and then unlocked the windows, chucking them outside for the Pied Wagtails to eat. Then he carefully collected up the remains of his wand and cradling them in cupped hands made his way miserably to the dining table.
"Kreacher" The house-elf popped into existence.
"How may I help master?"
"Make breakfast? Please?" Kreacher eyed him disapprovingly.
"Master is not able to perform…" The elf trailed off as it caught sight of the wand "Your wand is broken?"
"Yes, my wand is broken and I've always been useless at household wandless magic" Kreacher watched him disapprovingly and then nodded, turning his attention to the kitchen.
In no time at all Harry was digging in to a delicious plate of scrambled eggs on toast with Ketchup on the side.
"You're a life saver Kreacher, thanks" The elf sniffed imperiously.
"I suppose master will want lunch and dinner later as well?"
"Uh yeah, if you don't mind"
"Kreacher does whatever master wants, Kreacher is just a poor house elf, Kreacher obviously has no life of his own to interrupt-" The mutterings cut off as the house-elf disappeared.
The midday sun shone hotly on Harry's valiant struggle with the contents of his garden shed. He was attempting to get out his bike so he could cycle down to the local post office and get some fly killing stuff, but it was firmly entrenched amongst the plant pots and other gardening tools.
"Come on, come on, come on, move" He gave it one last tug and found himself flat on his back with a bike on his chest and various pots rolling desperately down the garden.
"Oww" Unfortunately the rear wheel of the bike had planted itself firmly in his groin and Harry was too overcome with pain to move for at least five minutes. Eventually however, he managed to dislodge the bike and scramble to his feet, brushing off the dirt that adorned his back. He brought it round to the lane at the front of the cottage and swung his leg over the saddle, wincing darkly, before pushing off.
Wobbling madly, for he had not touched the bike since he bought it, he proceeded slowly towards the village. It was not long before he regained his confidence and raced along as fast as he could manage; seeing the lane start its descent into the village, he sped up and then took his feet off the pedals as he freewheeled down the slope. He grinned madly as it picked up speed and the hedges became a blur of green on either side of him.
Beeeeeeeeeep, Beeeeeeep. The loud honking yanked him out of his reverie and his eyes widened comically as he saw the approaching shape of a massive, black SUV. He rammed his feet back onto the pedals and tried to gain control but it was going too fast, yanking the handlebars to the right he moved out of the way just in time and narrowly avoided the memorial cross at the T-junction before ploughing into a hedge.
"Watch where you're going you idiot" A voice far-off voice floated into his ears. Harry clenched his eyes tightly shut and pretended nothing had happened. When he had at last convinced himself that he was alive he gingerly picked himself out of the hedge, leaving the mangled bike where it lay he limped slowly into the village towards the post office.
"Good morning lovely, what can I get for you?" The middle-aged woman smiled nicely at him but a look of concern passed across her face as she saw the state he was in. "Are you alright lovely, you look like you've been in the wars."
"I'm fine thank you, its just a few scratches. I'm looking for insect spray and some of that sticky tape stuff that traps flies."
"Looks like more than a few scratches to me, but if you're sure lad" Harry nodded, thankful that she wasn't pursuing the subject and followed her as she bustled away through the shop.
"Now here's all the insect repellents etcetera luv, if its not here then you'll have to take the bus to town, that'll be an hour at least, you call if you need anything else" She smiled at him kindly and patted him on the shoulder before waddling back to the counter.
Harry gazed thoughtfully at the small selection; he trailed his finger along the cans and packets. "Pesticide, insect repellent, slug pellets, Fly Killer yes, and Fly trap tape wooo." He grabbed a couple of boxes of each of the items and made his way to the till.
"Got everything you needed luv?"
"Yes thanks" The woman rang up his items.
"Flies are a nuisance aren't they?"
"Yes, wake me up everyday; I don't understand how they get in."
"Nobody does, I'm used to them now though. You living on your own?"
"Err, yes, needed a bit of peace and quiet, flies aren't letting me have that though" he waved one of the spray cans vaguely and made a quick retreat out of the shop before any more questions could be asked of him.
Ducking his head down he rushed quickly back to where he left his bike, it was just as he left it, the back wheel still spinning slightly in the air. Glancing left and right Harry mumbled "Repario" and watched patiently as the metal screeched itself back into shape. He balanced his shopping bag on the bike handle and wobbled his way carefully home, his confidence still shaken from his earlier encounter.
It was evening by the time Harry finished putting up his flytraps and finished spraying all the flies he could find. Kreacher had done as he had asked and made him a light lentil soup for lunch with white, crusty bread and spinach and goats cheese tart for dinner; he had also made a big fuss when he saw the state Harry was in and had insisted on patching him up. All in all Harry was happy; he had food in his stomach and the satisfaction of causing the deaths of twenty or so flies and more still to come.
He had attached a strand of the sticky tape to the ceiling of each room and already a dozen or so flies were entrapped in its deadly embrace. Harry grabbed a sci-fi book from his library and settled himself in the living room where he could comfortably observe the fly's demise or if he was feeling particularly energetic, chase them around like a loon with a spray. A few hours later he retired to his room, the last thought on his mind as drifted to sleep that at last he would have his much-needed lie-in.
Tssssssssssssss, thump, tssssssssssssssss.
That does not sound like my alarm Harry thought to himself grumpily. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the sticky tape dangling above his bed; there must have been at least fifteen flies stuck to it, many of them in the last throes of death and buzzing for all they were worth.
"Silencio" he croaked grumpily. He tossed and turned for a few more minutes but it was clear that he was not going to be getting to sleep anytime soon so he slowly got ready, grabbed a quick breakfast and flooed into Diagon alley.
He smiled as he surveyed the already busy street. It had only been a month or so since he'd been here but it was still nice to be back in the wizarding world, despite the celebrity status the followed him everywhere. Returning the frequent smiles he was given, he made his way to Ollivanders and grinned as he caught sight of a familiar sweep of ash blond hair.
He pushed open the shop door quietly and sneaked up to the oblivious owner. "Boo" he threw his arms around their waist and grinned evilly as they jumped and shrieked.
"Harry!"
"Luna"
"You scared the life out of me, you shouldn't do that, the Nargles might get angry, and then where would you be?"
"Dead?"
"No silly, Narglefied"
"Ah, that would be terrible." Luna gave him a fond grin. "What are you doing here?" Harry blushed slightly and looked at his feet.
"Ikindabrokemywand." He winced sure that Luna would regard this as sacrilege.
"What a pity" she rolled her eyes, "I suppose you would like a replacement?"
"Yes thanks" Luna grinned exasperatedly at him and disappeared behind the counter. A few minutes later, she was back with a small pile of boxes.
"Here you go, just give them a wave and see what happens."
Ten minutes and four broken windows later Harry was just about ready to give up. He'd gone through at least a dozen wands and while some of them had been workable, none of them had felt right.
"I'm sorry Luna I seem to be a difficult customer." Luna smiled vaguely at him and waved away his words.
"Challenges are like dragons, once you have conquered them you can soar."
"Yes but the damage…this place looks like a hurricane has hit it."
"A Harry Potter shaped hurricane. Wait here I shall have to dig deeper into the storerooms."
Luna disappeared into the back of the shop and harry winced as a collection of bangs and thuds echoed out into the shop.
"Are you alright back there Luna?"
"Just perfect, the Nargles were getting frisky that's all."
"Uh right, shouldn't have asked."
"Ah-ha, bingo wings!" She trotted back happily and placed to boxes triumphantly before him. "One of these should do it, this one is a mermaid hair core, and this has a Veela feather core – both quite unique so probably perfect for you."
Harry smiled, "Ah what would I do without you my friend" He picked up the veela wand, and his smile widened. "This feels…good" He gave it a flick and a fountain of silver sparks shot out and danced along the wooden counter leaving pearlescent swirls in their wake.
"Perfect" Luna said dreamily. Harry grinned and raised the wand again.
"No" Luna shouted, "You've done quite enough redecorating already"
"I'll have it, how much?"
"35 galleons"
"What happened to mates rates?"
"They disappeared when you broke the third window."
Harry grinned sheepishly at her, "35 it is" he handed over the money, "do you want me to help fix it up?" Luna stared at him, eyebrows raised.
"Bye then Lu, see you soon"
"Not too soon, you have too much energy, it disrupts the shop aura not to mention mine"
Harry gave her a quick wave and strolled out the door and down the street, casually checking out the shops. It had been a while since he'd last been here and there were some new shops. A black painted shop with elegant gold lettering caught his attention.
"The Lair? That sounds a bit ominous" he muttered to himself and turned decisively towards it. He paused a bit at the entrance and then pushed through the leather tassels that blocked the doorway. As he entered, a dull blue light surrounded him and a voice tat seemed to come from all directions at once uttered "Foolish, stubborn, little self-preservation, confused, irritable, bored, and slightly socially retarded"
"What the hell?" Harry asked. A figure stepped through a door at the back and stood behind the counter.
"Some of your flaws." The man drawled, "But I could have told you them all without a spell Potter, you're very predictable."
"Malfoy!" Harry spluttered, face reddening with annoyance, "You ferret, I should've guessed you worked here: its dark, it's trying to be menacing, it's a bit gaudy – right up your alley."
"There's no accounting for taste" Draco sneered, then almost physically shook himself and smoothed the expression from his face, "what can I do for you today?"
Harry continued to glare at him until he realised he was required to answer. "Um well I just, err, the name was interesting so I came in?"
Draco just about managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes, "well I'm very glad you did, are you interested in buying an animal?"
"An animal?" Harry said and then peered round the shop, noting the various cages and enclosures scattered across the large room. "Ooh you're a pet shop".
Draco gritted his teeth and smiled tightly "Do they look like pets to you Potter?"
"Last names again, I must be getting to you" Draco ignored him and launched into a well-prepared speech.
"This is not a pet shop. This is a specialised store selling the very fiercest and most unique specimens that money can buy. They represent the cutting edge of wizarding genetic modification and each animal is perfectly geared towards protecting you or your property. There are no others like them. The point of knowing your flaws is so that you can be better matched with one of these creatures. Any questions?" Draco moved his fixed gaze from the ceiling back to Harry only to realise he'd already wandered excitedly over to the nearest enclosure and was leaning into it cooing to the fluffy creatures inside.
"Shit" Harry exclaimed suddenly and leapt backwards.
"Oh for fuck's sake you imbecile. Why the fuck would you touch the rabbits, have you any fucking idea what could happen to you if they bit you?" Harry looked at him eyes wide and held out a trembling finger. A trickle of blood ran slowly down it.
"Like this?" Harry whispered.
"Merlin's bollocks" Draco ran round the counter and grabbed Harry by the arm, pulling him quickly towards through the back door. "Potter" he moaned, "I'll be ruined if you die, this shops only be open a week, think of all the capital I've spent on it"
"I'm so happy you care about my health" Harry brought his finger closer to eyes and squinted worriedly at it, "What's going to happen to me?"
"Well you'll start feeling light-headed anytime now, then the hallucinations will start and then, as long as you're not the unlucky ten percent of the population, you should be back to normal in five hours or so."
"And if I'm in the ten percent?"
"You'll have an adverse reaction to the hallucinogenic toxins and the sensory overload will push you nerves into hyperactivity and thus continuous, rapid muscle contractions, eventually resulting in death."
"That's not good" Draco couldn't help but smile slightly at the understatement.
"Your powers of observation astound me as always Potter" Harry swayed slightly in his grip and looked up at him worriedly.
"You can fix me right?" he stumbled against Draco's chest. Draco steadied him awkwardly and sighed. "I'll do what I can, now lie down here, no not on the floor, well if you must, aaargh, shit, my arse is probably bruised you bastard, I'm a Malfoy I do not lie on floors. Let me go you idiot."
"Wow you're glowing like a glow worm" Harry's pupils were dilated and he blinked slowly. "And you have a tail, like a cat, why is the room so wobbly? It's like a bouncy castle" Harry giggled childishly and reached a wavering hand towards the ceiling. Draco stared at him wide eyed and took the opportunity to wiggle out of his grasp and stand up.
"This is priceless. Where the fuck is my wand I need to take a picture." He scooped it off the bed and leaned over Harry, whispering the picture spell.
"Draaaaco? Why are you so far away from me? Come back I want to touch your wings." Harry grabbed at Draco's leg, pulling the surprised man back down next to him again. He carefully stroked his face, "You're so soft Draco, like a bird" He wrapped his arms round him and snuggled closer. Draco couldn't keep the disgusted look on his face and broke into laughter.
"You're mental Potter, you know that right? Absolutely batty."
"Crazy for youuu" Harry crooned softly and fell asleep. The picture spell made a soft chime as it stopped recording. Draco turned his head and studied the beautiful man sleeping fitfully next to him, "this is…nice" he muttered to himself, "Potter, no Harry, you're different, better looking" he smirked to himself, "so am I of course" he didn't speak for a while and then he nodded to himself, half-smiled and carefully removed Harry's arms from about his waist.
Harry opened his eyes and grinned happily snuggling his face into his pillow. There was not a fly to be heard and by the light in the room, it seemed he'd managed his first lie-in in weeks. Might as well enjoy it while I can, he thought and wriggled around trying to find a comfortable sleeping position, but his mattress seemed unusually hard. It took him a few more seconds to realise that he wasn't in his bed and then he shot upright, blurry memories rushing back to him. A soft chuckle reached his ears and he looked sideways to see a pale form peering down at him from a bed.
"Your glasses are beside you."
"Draco?"
"You're fine, it should be all out of your system by now," Draco said softly. Harry looked at him confused.
"You're being nice."
"Don't get used to it I just haven't had my coffee yet, I'm basically sleep-talking" Draco stretched and yawned. He flung back the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Harry collapsed back onto the makeshift bed with a thump, slightly in shock at the sight of Draco in just a pair of silky grey pyjama bottoms.
"Still the epitome of elegance I see" Draco said sarcastically and stepped casually over him, heading for the ensuite. Harry mumbled vaguely and drifted off to sleep again.
"Gaaah, what was that?"
"That was a wet flannel on your face you lazy bastard, now get off my floor and make yourself presentable, have a shower, have a shave, have a haircut."
"There's nothing wrong with my hair, God dammit! My head hurts."
"Your hair is almost at your shoulders, it's never been that length, clearly all your mirrors have been shattered by your ugliness, and you are living as caveman in the Outer Hebrides"
"Your powers of deduction are astounding Watson. I mean really Malfoy what would you know about me now? The last time I saw you was at your trial over a year ago, you seem to have changed, well so have I – I have long hair now, deal with it."
Malfoy raised an eyebrow and dropped the towel round his waist to the floor.
"Ah" Harry gasped, "Whaa…"
Malfoy's other eyebrow joined the first, "Shocking isn't it? I am human after all, perfection of course but nonetheless human, do stop gaping, you're just giving more proof to my mirror theory."
"No…clothes?" Harry stuttered out.
"I've been in the shower you idiot, of course not" Draco turned around and bent down slightly to open his underwear drawer. Behind him, he heard a groan and then a bang as Harry disappeared rapidly into the bathroom. Draco laughed evilly to himself, pulled on some boxers, and made his way to the kitchen for some coffee.
"Hindcott! Hindcott you silly elf, where the hell are you?" There was a sharp crack and a house-elf appeared in front of Draco bowing lowly.
"Master?"
"Wash Potter's clothes would you and put out a towel for him, he's in the ensuite, and then make us a nice English breakfast, remember I'm vegetarian this week."
"Clothes, towel, vegetarian, of course master, Hindcott is doing it"
"Now" The elf disappeared with a crack. Draco waved his wand at his hand-crafted coffee machine and sat down at the breakfast bar, inhaling the familiar scent of fresh coffee as the grinder got to work. A couple minutes later a large mug of coffee floated gracefully to a stop in front of Draco's place. He leaned over it and savoured the smell, letting his eyes flutter shut in bliss.
"Where did my clothes go?" Draco narrowed his eyes at the interruption to his coffee ritual and fixed the barely clothed man in the doorway with a glare.
"Shut the door Potter, no just do it. Good, now come here, stop dawdling and move, it wasn't a question." Harry approached the seated man cautiously, one hand firmly gripping his towel in place. "Smell this." Harry leant tentatively over and sniffed the steaming mug. "Isn't that heaven? Try some, it shouldn't be too hot." Harry reluctantly took a sip.
"Can you smell that rich, bitter, warm scent? Then you taste it and, ah, it flows into your mouth and overpowers it, fills it, and it's bitter but it's good - exactly how it should be. So you let it slide slowly down your throat and if there's a slight burn it doesn't matter because that pleasure, when it hits your stomach and then your bloodstream, that adrenaline firing your nerves, exquisite."
Harry stared wide-eyed at Draco, as he smiled dreamily into the distance, Harry's mouth was slightly parted, and his grip on the towel was loose, allowing it to fall gently to the floor. Draco's eyes snapped back to Harry's at the last word and pinned him still.
"Do you know what you did, back then?" He placed a hand lightly on Harry's shoulder and trailed it down ever so slowly as he continued to speak, "You interrupted me, I didn't get that first taste, I didn't get to put my lips where you just put yours, let it fill me, heat me, captivate me" His hand trailed yet lower and griped, "Are you sorry Harry?" His hand still as he waited for Harry to remember words.
"I…yes…please, so sorry" Draco leant forward carefully; bringing his mouth to brush faintly against Harry's parted lips.
"I accept your apology but what are you going to do to make up for it?" Harry subconsciously pressed closer, their mouths meeting more firmly. He moved his lips wordlessly, his breathing harsh and heavy, seeking something he didn't know.
"Anything" he gasped.
Draco's lips curved and he pulled Harry tightly against him.
"Yes"
AN: Thanks for reading, it is finished at last and now I shall get around to updating my chaptered story more (go check it out!). Hope you enjoyed it, although it hasn't been beta'd so please feel free to volunteer or point out anything you dislike. Review, its lovely to get feedback, although I am guessing if you have read this far it must be okay fingers-crossed. Finally, the genre, it started off quite crack-y, as you can hopefully tell, but then it wasn't at points because I was writing it at quite different times and moods, basically I am sorry if the continuity is a bit off but at least it is finished. Yeah its my first finished fanfic I have a right to be proud and it was only meant to be 1000 or so words so it kind of rebelled on me. Anyway thanks again for reading x.