Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If i did then i would torture Sanada, like i did here! :]

Now, Sanada torture time!

If Sanada was a girl……

Hana hummed softly to herself as she took the pie out of the oven. She heard the front door open and she instantly knew that her husband had come home. The approaching footsteps told her that he was making his way to the kitchen. When she felt a peck on her cheek, she knew that he had reached her.

Hana smiled at her husband, "How was work, Gen?"

Sanada shrugged, "Same as usual. Nothing special."

"As usual," Hana chuckled, "Go wash up, dinner's ready."

The man nodded and was at the door, when he turned around and added, "I'll call Seiichi , too."

Hana smiled to herself as she watched Sanada leave. She knew him very well, but he knew her just as much.

"Mom, I need to ask you something," twelve year old Seiichi smiled at his mother. He was looking a lot like his father but he had his mother's blue eyes.

The family had just finished dinner and now was seated comfortably in the living room. Seiichi had just gotten bored of flipping through all the channels and the spark in his eyes told his parents that he was up to some mischief. Sanada mentally groaned at this as he read the newspaper.

"I was just thinking about it," the boy began with a smirk. "What would Dad be like if he was a girl?"

Sanada choked on the coffee he was sipping. His right hand dangerously came up. "Seiichi…."

A quick glare from his wife made him drop his hand. He turned to his newspaper in hopes that his wife would be kind to him and ignore the absurd question.

Hana pondered the matter for a while before answering with a smile, "Well, he would be the type of girl that was beautiful and gorgeous. All the males in school would be dying to get her number."

Sanada blushed slightly but glared at his son who began to laugh at his mother's reply.

"But," Hana wasn't done yet. "No one would dare to go near her because behind all that beauty lays an ugly, stoic, personality."

"If my personality is that bad, then why did you marry me?" Sanada interjected.

"I'm not finished yet," Hana replied with a small smirk. "But beyond that stone face, is a tough, caring person who would do anything for the one who she loves."

"Great, now I can tell Niou why you married me," Sanada stated sarcastically.

"But later she got married and even later pregnant, which is whole different story," Hana continued. "First, her wedding would be simple and with a small number of people. The reason for that would be she doesn't want people to mess up the day for her. And if they did then they would receive a back slap across the face."

"Hey, I let you have a big wedding!" Sanada protested. The newspaper had been put away long ago and the conversation had caught his attention.

"You backslapped the wedding planner, one of your groomsmen, the cake decorator, and my hair-dresser all at least twice. And if I hadn't stopped you, you would also have slapped one of my bridesmaid," Hana pointed out.

"It wasn't my fault. They all asked for it. Niou had knocked out the real wedding planner and was taking everything into his own hands to cause some mischief. Akaya had helped knock out the guy and packed him into a van which they went and parked in the middle of no where. Marui was eating the icing instead of using it on the actual cake! And Jackel had no business doing your hair!" Sanada replied like it was obviously not his fault. "And, Rin, well that a story in itself."

"Just because Rin wanted to take over the entertainment doesn't mean she wanted to ruin the day," Hana rolled her eyes.

"Please, Hana, that's the least of it," Sanada stated. "She poured pink hair dye in Niou's shampoo, got me the wrong tuxedo, almost put on the wrong video/montage, and then she paired up with Fuji to get me drunk!"

"I remember that," Hana smiled, thinking back to her wedding day. "Good times."

"Man, all that stuff happened? Why couldn't I have been there?" Seiichi asked.

"Because you weren't born yet," Sanada replied.

"Speaking of which, back to feminine Gen," Hana smirked. "During her nine months of pregnancy, she would be the worst and crankiest pregnant lady in the history of pregnant ladies. Everything her poor husband would bring her would not be the one she wanted. She would complain and nag. And if you made her angry you would get back slapped. Then in labor, she would give her husband death glares for getting her pregnant, even though it was her who wanted a child. And she would squeeze his hand so tight that would end up getting a cast for it. Oh and when his fingers broke, she would start slapping him instead."

"Oh really?" Sanada raised an eyebrow. "You're one to talk."

"That's different," Hana glared at her husband before continuing to mock him, "And then when the baby cried and wouldn't stop no matter what she did, she would give him a slap and that would shut him up."

Seiichi snickered.

Sanada twitched before standing up and ordered, "Seiichi, go to bed."

"But!" Seiichi whined, looking pleadingly at his mother.

"NOW," Sanada glared. The boy scampered up and ran to his room after yelling a quick good night to his parents. When the boy was gone, Sanada turned to his wife, "Why does everything with me always end in me slapping someone?"

"Because it always does for you," Hana smiled.

What do you think? I think i might add to this later or make a story that describes their wedding...You never know...