There are times I feel like a monster. A menace. A disgrace to the Crystal Gems.

The others struggle with themselves sometimes- it's not hard to see. Amethyst constantly berates herself for being defective. Pearl can't do anything alone without second-guessing herself. Steven is afraid he'll never live up to his mother, and Lapis and Peridot grapple with understanding and believing in what they were raised to condemn.

None of those things are their own fault.

But I am the cause of my own demons.

I see choices and possibilities. I see successes and defeats and risks to be taken. I see everything that can hurt those around me and I try to choose what to do.

I choose incorrectly.

I see the Crystal Gems, my family, looking up to me with broken hope and desperate smiles. I see them destroying themselves over what they cannot control. I see tears.

Tears that are the result of my blunders.

Seeing the paths of the future comes at a price. Guilt. Pain. Regret. But never uncertainty. There is no "what if" in future vision. What if I had chosen differently? I know exactly what would have happened.

I see a fierce, huge hand swooping down to crush those I love. I see Pearl crying. I see Steven begging. I see red.

I see Sugilite's weapon, held poised to do the unthinkable.

And I feel like a monster.

I can see it all, even though it isn't there, even though all that is in front of me is the ocean waves. The visions are so real I can almost touch them, and sometimes I'm sure I am touching them, even though I can feel the grains of sand between my fingers and the water splashing over my toes. I know what's real and what isn't, but I also know that what I see can be real.

"Garnet..."

Steven's voice is quiet and unsteady. I reach over and gently ruffle his hair.

"What do you see?"

Nothing is certain. There are always chances. Possibilities. Homeworld isn't going to back down, and neither are we. I see gems shattering and silent screams. I see friends and battles, lost and won.

I see the Gems returning home without him.

And my resolve strengthens.

"I see you, Steven," I say, pulling him into a hug. And that is all that needs to be said.