All rights and characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Labelled Teen due to sensitive nature of topic. Enjoy!
Severus stared out from the Astronomy Tower anticipating the coming of the night. He could see the faint outline of the moon in her chariot of pearl ready to make her routine appearance. He took a deep breath, smiling silently to himself, as the scent of early spring tantalized his nostrils. He always loved this time of year because he got to sit outside and enjoy the moments with Lily. He remembered that they would work on potions together by the old oak tree, share a laugh together, or playfully tease each other. But things in life are usually never that easy or that predicable. Like the passing of the seasons, things change.
Severus remembered today as being another day of silence. He sighed and felt the cool gentle breeze of April touch his face. Almost a year of silence had passed since he last spoke with Lily. He still saw her going to and from classes, but she was never alone. Either she was walking with her girl friends, or attracting the attention of Potter and the rest of his group. On rare occasions he would look at her, in Potion's class or in the Great Hall, and if by luck, the green met the black. But he saw that the green eyes were cold, cavalier, and gone before he even realized that she had glanced at him; the eyes that looked at a stranger on the street with indifference rather than a childhood friend. There was no longer room in her schedule or life for him, nor did she seem to want anything to do with him.
He watched the stars glitter in the sky, and slowly smiled to himself. It was the smile of someone appreciating the last remnants of beauty before it melted away. The same expression a teacher would give a student graduating his/her class, an athlete gets reminiscing about the glory days, a parent gets seeing their child leaving home, the smile of having to let go and say goodbye in order to move on. It is the smile that often doesn't form because it quivers and trembles, fearing the loss to be greater than the reward.
A shattered smile
He looked down at the open page in the book he was holding. The Dark Magic book was turned to the page on the Imperious Curse with small scribbles indicating his adjustments to the spell; a way to possess the user and make the caster do things that they would not normally do. It was his ambition towards the Dark Arts that caused him to separate from his path with Lily, and it was the same ambition that helped to create this spell that would end it. Though the irony did not escape him, Severus was too tired to think about these things. He took a final look at the nightscape, the moon, the stars, and lastly, the silence, and made his way down from the Astronomy Tower towards the Great Lake. He made a promise that today he would not live to see tomorrow.
The moon's rays reflected off the smooth lake, calm and tranquil. Severus thought it was a shame that he had to disrupt the serenity of the landscape, but the wheels were already in motion. He took a deep breathe, pointed his wand at himself, and used the new spell
Imperimento-Mori
Severus felt he was dreaming. He tried to blink but the vision remained hazy. He felt cold, but his body would not shiver; it had worked. The curse had forced him into the Great Lake, his final resting place. The dark water surrounded his body poetically acting as a cartharsis to destroy him by cleansing him of his actions. His entire body and lungs gave a desperate unheard cry for air, but the spell could not be broken. As his vision began to darken to that of the water, Severus remembered,
In the beginning, she had laughed with him as they had played together on the swings. They would rock back and forth to see who could go higher as the last bright rays of summer descended. He would always let her win just to see her jubilant face full of pride and optimism. The wind would blow through her crimson hair, and the light would reflect off her eyes when she said she had won. Then she would start to walk home, stop midway before turning back to him to say something,
"Tomorrow?"
And he would always be there.
Severus wondered for a moment why he wasn't dead yet. It seemed like an eternity since he felt solid ground. He wondered if he should have chosen another form of death, but this was his punishment, his redemption. He no longer heard the screaming of his lungs, and all feeling had left his body.
"Soon", he whispered to himself as he felt his mind and thoughts beginning to cease. Though he couldn't have known it, Severus felt his lips twitch into another broken smile and he managed to recall one final memory.
She was sitting by the old oak tree like she always had. Beside her sat a black haired boy with glasses. The girl would try to study but the boy was constantly trying to distract her. At times laughter would fill the air, and at times the mute sound of affectionate whispering. This was an ongoing trend, and all of Hogwarts seemed to agree that they were ideal for each other. In the end, He watched from a lone distance as the girl he grew up with drifted away into the arms of another. Though on rare nights, he would still dream of her
"Sev" she whispered to him, hand outstretch beckoning him to her, and he felt he could almost touch her, but then she would start to walk away, climb up the steps to her house, and silently shut the door, without another word.
And he would always be there.