Disclaimer: The following is a nonprofit fanfiction of RWBY. RWBY belongs to Monty Oum(RIP) and Rooster Teeth. Any likeness to writings of others is not intentional. To help with improvements: Read and Review!
AN: Made for shits and giggles plus boredom and writers block creating something.
Musical Days
"This is one of those days, right?" Ruby asked her team as they were stuck in a theater with no exit or entrance. "One of those crazy days where we're stuck in a situation we have no idea how we got into, and now stuff happens?"
"Looks like it." Blake sighed as she took a few chairs. "At this point, I'd like to go back to when we were all in Beacon just taking tests and worrying about what to do the next day."
"Frankly, I'd like to just be back in our dorm." Weiss muttered as she inspected the place. "Although, this place does have a nice ambience."
"It's like there's nothing here to do." Yang groaned. When all four woke up in the place, Yang thought of just punching her way out but it ended up being a waste since she'd somehow punch her way back into the room with the hole magically fixing itself.
Hearing someone clear their throat, the four looked to the source and saw a silhouette in a projection room thumbing at them. When he clicked the projection light on and off, the other's tried to talk to whoever was in there.
"Hey pal. Think you can let us out?" Yang asked. "Feels like we're just wasting away in here."
The hand just urged them to take a seat and gave an ok sign. Then it pointed to the where the screen was.
"I guess he just wants us to watch a film?" Ruby thought while taking a seat.
"Is this like when we got stuck in those other dimension just watching different versions of Jaune?" Weiss grumbled. "Because if it is, I'm getting a bit tired of those."
"Maybe this one will be different." Ruby said. "There wasn't some person we never met telling us it'd be all about him so it must be about all of us."
When the lights went on and the audio started playing, the group felt a chill from the piano's tune.
An Affair or Something
The scene started with Jaune kneeling broken in a rose garden with Ruby standing behind him. She had a letter in hand with a crumpled picture of Jaune and Pyrrha hugging. Instead of Ruby stating her pains, it was the blonde.
I grew every seed that you gave me
From the moment I saw you
I knew you were mine
You said you were mine
I thought you were mi~ne
Getting up, Jaune wiped the tears in his eyes and faced his wife.
JAUNE(PYRRHA)
Do you know what Pyrrha said, when I told her what you done?
She said: (Pyrrha + Jaune: You married an Icarus. She has flown too close to the sun)
"Don't!" Jaune held a hand when Ruby tried to step close to him.
JAUNE(PYRRHA)
Take another step in my direction. I cannot be trusted around you.
Don't!
Think you can talk your way back into my arms (back to my arms!)
Turning away from her, he went to the roses still hanging on the bush. At his feet, there was a small flame going.
JAUNE
I'm burning the roses I planted.
You can stand over there if you want.
I don't know who you are. I have so much to learn.
I'm uprooting these roses and watching them
Picking a rose, Jaune held it tenderly before throwing it into a pile of growing embers and ash.
JAUNE(PYRRHA)
Bu~rn. (Burn)
I'm watching them
Bu~rn (BU~RN.)
Eyeing the letter in her hand, he shook his head before tearing more roses down.
JAUNE
You fell for the letter they wrote to you.
You told the whole world that I brought this girl into our bed
And in cursing my name
You have ruined our lives
After taking a few more roses down to burn, Jaune turned back to Ruby with a disappointment in his eyes while circling her.
JAUNE
Heaven forbid someone whisper "He's part of some scheme"
Your enemies whisper so (you have to SCEAM!)
When he stopped in front of her, she averted her gaze when their eyes connected.
JAUNE(PYRRHA)
I know about whispers(whispers)
I see how you look at Winchester
Before she should refute him, he cut her off and turned away.
JAUNE(PYRRHA)
DON'T!(DON'T!)
I'm not naïve.
I have seen huntsmen around you
Don't!
Think I don't see how they all fall for your charm. (All your charm!)
I'm erasing myself from the narrative.(erasing myself from the narrative)
JAUNE and PYRRHA
Let future historians wonder how Jaune Rose reacted when you broke his heart!
Turning around, Jaune held a bottle of gas in his hand with the small flame still burning behind him.
JAUNE
You have thrown it all away
Stand back watch it
With a wave of his hand, he threw the gas onto the roses. In one quick touch, the whole garden was set on fire.
JAUNE (PYRRHA)
BU~RN.(BU~RN~)
Just watch it all (Just watch it all)
BU~RN.(BU~RN~)
The huntress fell to her knees in shock seeing all of the hard work put into the garden destroyed so easily. Looking at her husband, he was crying too but he was also angry.
JAUNE
And when the time comes
Explain to your children
The pain and embarrassment you put your husband through
Turning around, she saw her two kids huddled together in fear at their parents fighting.
When will you learn
They aren't my legacy
JAUNE and (PYRRHA)
THEY ARE YOUR LEGACY!
If you thought you were
Mi~ne (Mine~)(MINE~)
There were flashes of when Ruby saved Jaune to their dates then marriage, and then flashes to the first child and then the second. Then the scenes became gloomier with Jaune drinking with Pyrrha, Ruby walking with Cardin, the children turning away from Jaune, and then walking into a broken rose garden. Then Pyrrha appeared and took Jaune away while she and her children burned in the garden.
Don't! (Don't)
Ruby woke up from her nightmare in a cold sweat. Turning to her side, she saw an empty space next to her and a messy room with shards from a broken mirror still on the floor. Outside the garden was ruined, but not burnt.
When the song ended and the lights turned on, the group tried to wrap their heads around this. It sounded like Ruby was the one that cheated, but then it became Jaune was the one that cheated? But if he was the cheater, why was he acting like the victim in the song? Was the letter a lie, then?
"I think Ruby was the one that cheated." Blake voiced her opinion. When all eyes were on her, she tried to explain. "In the song, Jaune said Ruby put him through pain and embarrassment. Plus he said they aren't his legacy, so they must belong to someone else."
"But I would never cheat!" Ruby wiped a tear.
"Different universe, remember?" The cat faunus reminded her. "I cant say if that version of you really did cheat or not since we don't have all the answers and everything was through that Jaune's perspective."
"So there's a chance that other me didn't cheat?" Ruby asked her friend.
"There's a chance neither of you cheated and it was all a huge misunderstanding." Weiss answered her. The song really put her down and it almost hit close to home with the scene of a broken family.
"The clip was sort of Jaune related, but at least he wasn't the center of it all." Blake tried to assuage the whole thing. "But who knew he and Pyrrha could sing, right?"
Her plan to dampen the whole thing wasn't that successful.
"Whoever is up there!" Yang shouted to the projection room. "Can we have something not depressing? Also not related to Jaune that much? It's like overdone by now. This was a first clip, but it was too depressing."
Yang's answer was the lights turning off for another movie to play.
Avenue Q (Sucks to be me)
The scene opened up to a building with Roman of all people coming out to take out the trash.
"Morning Roman." Blake greeted her fellow tenant.
"Morning Blake." Roman sighed in frustration.
"How's life?" She asked.
"Disappointing." He unloaded in one word.
"What's the matter?" She asked.
"The catering company laid me off." He pouted.
"I'm sorry." She tried to sympathize.
"Me too. I mean look at me." He scratched his head. "I'm ten years out of college and I thought- No."
"What?" Blake asked intrigued,
"No, it sounds stupid."
"Aww, come on." She egged him. He shook his head and decided to unload it all.
ROMAN
When I was little I thought I would be (Blake: What?)
A big comedian on late night TV! (Blake: Hahaha)
But now I'm thirty-two and as you can see
I'm not (Blake: Nope)
Oh well! (Blake: Mhm)
It sucks to be! (No.) It sucks to be me. (No!)
It sucks to be broke and unemployed and turning thirty-three.
It sucks to be me.
"You think your life sucks?" Blake raised a brow.
"I think so." The ginger challenged.
"Your life's not so bad." She shook her head.
BLAKE
I'm kinda pretty
And pretty damn smart (Roman: You are.) Thanks
I like romantic things like music and art
And as you know I have a gigantic heart
So why~
Don't I have a boyfriend?!
FUCK!
It sucks to be me (Roman: Me too)
It sucks to be (Roman: It sucks to be me!)
ROMAN
It sucks to be Roman. (Blake: and Blake)
To not have a job. (Blake: to not have a date.)
BOTH
It sucks to be me
Suddenly they heard arguing as two girls came out of the building.
"You're not my mother Weiss.." Ruby shouted over Weiss' nagging.
"Yo, Red. Ice Queen." Roman called them over. "Can you settle something for us?"
"Ah. Certainly." Weiss complied.
"Who's life suck more? Roman's or mine?" Blake asked.
Both girls looked at each other and answered at the same time. "Ours!"
WEISS (RUBY)
We live together (Ruby: We're close as we can get)
We've been the best of buddies (Ruby: Ever since the day we met)
So she knows lots of ways to make me really upset! (Ruby: WHA!)
OH! Every day is an aggravation. (Ruby: Come on that's and exaggeration!)
You leave your clothes out! You put your feet on my chair!
RUBY
Oh yeah?
You do such anal things like ironing your underwear (B + Roman: Hahahaha)
WEISS
You make that very small apartment we share~
A HELL!
RUBY
So do you!
That's why I'm in hell too.
WEISS
It sucks to be me~
RUBY
No. It sucks to be me~
BLAKE
It sucks to be me~
ROMAN
It sucks to be me~
ALL
Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be?
It sucks to be me~
All four soon start humming to chorus two times. Then Velvet came out.
"Why you all so happy?" She asked.
"Because our lives suck." Ruby answered.
"Your lives suck? I hearing you correctly?" She said condescendingly. "Hah!"
VELVET
I come into this country for opportunities
Try to work in Menagerie Deli
But I am Mistrali!
But with hard work I earn two master degrees!
In SOCIAL WORK!
And now I'm a THERAPIST!
But I HAVE NO CLIENTS!
AND I HAVE AN UNEMPLOYED FIANCE!
AND WE HAVE LOTS! OF! BILLS! TO! PAY!
It sucks to be me!
It sucks to be me!
I say it suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck sucks!
It sucks to be me
"Excuse me?" Jaune came down the street. "Sorry to bother you. But I'm looking for a place to live."
"Why are you looking out here?" Velvet asked.
"Well I tried Avenue A, but so far everything is out of my price range." Jaune said sheepishly. "But this area looks a lot cheaper. And look a for rent sign."
Blake looked to her side and saw there was a for rent sign next to her window.
"You need to talk to the superintendent." Roman told the blonde. "Hang on. I'll get her."
"Thanks." Jaune said.
"YO! PYRRHA!" Roman shouted.
"I'm coming. I'm coming!" An angry woman's voice grumbled as the redhead walked out of the building.
"Oh my gosh. It's Pyrrha Nikos!" Jaune gasped.
"Yes I am." Pyrrha thumbed herself.
PYRRHA
I'm Pyrrha Nikos
From Pumpkin Pete's branded oats
I made a lot of money that got stolen by my folks.
Now I'm broke
And now I'm the butt of everyone's joke
But I'm here, the superintendent!
On Avenue Q~
ALL
It sucks to be you
"You win." Blake said unanimously.
ALL
It sucks to be you
"I feel better." Roman agreed.
PYRRHA
Try having people stopping you to ask:
Where is F.I.L.S.S?
…It get's old.
ALL
It sucks to be you
On Avenue Q
It sucks to be me
On Avenue Q
It sucks to be you
On Avenue Q
It sucks to be us
But not when we're together
We're together
Here on Avenue Q~
We live on Avenue Q~
Our friends do too
'til our dreams come true
We live on Avenue Q (Jaune: This is real life)
We live on Avenue Q (Ruby: You're gonna love it)
We live on Avenue Q (Here's your key)
WELCOME TO AVENUNE Q!
Yang couldn't stop laughing the whole time. Her three friends were in there and victims to a sucky life.
"I'm happy single, just so you guys know." Blake pouted with arms folded.
"Where is this guy getting these clips!" Weiss fumed. Although she could imagine her and Ruby killing each other if it was just them in one small apartment.
"We live on Avenue Q." Ruby hummed the song.
"Ruby, please stop." The heiress begged her partner.
"I cant believe my parents stole my money." Pyrrha voiced her opinion. "Thinking it over, I wouldn't put it past them."
"Don't worry Pyrrha." Blake assured the champion. Realizing she was there, she snapped back. "Pyrrha?!"
"And us too." The rest of team JNPR waved.
"When did you guys get here?" Weiss asked.
"Since the first clip." Jaune answered awkwardly. "We thought it'd be best to not be there while stuff was still …fresh."
The whole group became quiet after remembering the first song. They know it was another universe but it was still weird.
Sensing the awkward feeling in the air, the projector thought to play something else that was funny.
Gay or Mistralian
The scene opened to Weiss with friends and Roman sitting in a bar eyeing everyone coming in. It was their time to play a game of gay or straight. Every target they got so far was obvious, and it was time for Weiss to choose a target. When a man with blue hair walked in, she gave a nudge to be passed around and pointed.
WEISS
There! Right there!
Look at that tanned, well tended skin
Look at the killer shape he's in
Look at that slightly stubbly chin
Oh, please, he's gay
Totally gay!
The others eyed the target and had mixed conclusions.
REN
I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate
A totally straight expatriate
That guy's not gay
I say not gay
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
That is the elephant in the room
Well, is it relevant to assume
That a man who wears perfume
Is automatically, radically fae?
JAUNE
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks
WEISS
Look at his silk translucent socks
REN
There's the eternal paradox
Look what we're seein'
BLAKE
What are we seein'?
REN
Is he gay~?
WEISS
Of course he's gay!
REN
Or Mistralian?
Everyone paused as they thought it over. Looking at the man, they felt he was also Mistralian.
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
Ohhhh~
Gay or Mistralian?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or Mistralian?
ROMAN
Well, hey, don't look at me!
BLAKE
You see they bring their boys up different
In those charming foreign ports
They play peculiar sports
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks
They both say things like "Ciao, Bella"
While they kiss you on both cheeks
WEISS
Oh, please
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
Gay or Mistralian?
So many shades of gray
ROMAN
Depending on the time of day
The South go either way
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
Is he gay or Mistralian, or-?
Yang got up and pointed at the blue haired man when she saw him giving people he passed a smirk.
YANG
There, right there!
Look at that condescending smirk
Seen it on every guy at work
That is a metro, hetero jerk
That guy's not gay, I say, no way
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
That is the elephant in the room
Well is it relevant to presume
That a hottie in that costume
BLAKE
Is automatically, radically
REN
Ironically, chronically
YANG
Certainly, flirtingly
ROMAN
Genetically, medically
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
Gay, officially gay
Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay, gay…
The group paused when they saw him sit next to a woman waiting at a table. They recognized her as May Zedong, who a lot of them thought was a lesbian.
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
Damn it!
Gay or Mistralian?
REN
So stylish and relaxed
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
Is he gay or Mistralian?
REN
I think his chest is waxed
BLAKE
But they bring their boys up different there
It's culturally diverse
It's not a fashion curse
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code
NORA
Yeah, his accent is hypnotic
But his shoes are pointy toed
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
Huh
Gay or Mistralian?
So many shades of gray
COCO
But if he turns out straight
I'm free at eight on Saturday
REN, WEISS, ROMAN, BLAKE, NORA AND YANG
Is he gay or Mistralian?
Gay or Mistralian?
Gay or Mistra-
"Wait a minute." Jaune leaned in to the table. "Give me a chance to crack this guy. I have an idea I'd like to try."
"The floor is yours." Ren motioned for him to go.
Nodding, Jaune walked over to the table where Neptune and May were sitting. Spying a nametag on the man's chest he smoothly sat across while the others peeked from their seats.
"So, Mr. Vasillas." Jaune asked Neptune when he was close. "This alleged affair with Ms. Zedong has been going on for...?"
"Two years." The bluenette answered smoothly.
"And your first name again is...?" The blonde feigned ignorance to make it seem as if his questions were harmless.
"Neptune." He said casually.
"And your boyfriend's name is...?" Jaune asked quickly with the same tone.
"Sun." Everyone gasped and Neptune cupped his mouth in panic. "I-I, sorry! I misunderstood! You said "boyfriend" I thought you said "best friend." Sun is my best friend"
"You bastard!" Sun stood up from his table behind them and grabbed Neptune by the shoulders. "You lying bastard! That's it! I no cover for you no more! Peoples, I have a big announcement."
Everyone leaned in to hear what it was.
SUN
This man is gay AND Mistralian
ENSEMBLE
Whoa!
SUN
And neither is disgrace
You gotta stop your bein'
A completely closet case
It's me, not her he's seein'
No matter what he say
I swear he never, ever, ever swing the other way
You are so gay, you big parfait
You flaming one man cabaret
NEPTUNE
I'm straight!
SUN
You were not yesterday
So if I may, I'm proud to say
He's gay
ENSEMBLE
And Mistralian!
SUN
He's gay
ENSEMBLE
And Mistralian!
SUN
He's gay
ENSEMBLE
And Mistralian
And gay
NEPTUNE
Fine, okay, I'm gay
SUN/ENSEMBLE
Hooray!
Blake and Weiss were quiet but for different reasons. Blake's was to stop herself from laughing at the situation she saw. No offence, but she did think Sun and his team were gay or at least bi. Looking over to the others, Nora and Jaune were laughing loud with Yang on top of the two to support herself. It wouldn't be a surprise those three would be laughing loud.
"So are a lot of people from Mistral mistaken for gay?" Ruby asked Pyrrha.
"It's one of the reasons I try not to get a local boyfriend from there." The champion answered. "It becomes a headache to figure out who is straight or not."
"Neptune is not gay!" Weiss pouted. Those who were in the song besides Weiss had an iffy face. "What?"
"Truthfully, my gaydar was tipping both ways when he came in with Sun." Yang admitted to the heiress.
"I wasn't that conscious when we first met, but I had a feeling even when he flirted with you." Blake agreed.
"It felt like he was trying too hard to be suave and masculine." Pyrrha added.
"Oh please, like Jaune's a better example?" Weiss shot back.
"Hey!"
"Looking at Jaune, he's a dork." Yang put up her case. "Also a nerd in his comic book way. His flirting: textbook straight dork. My gaydar sense was so dead looking at him. He's obviously straight no matter how hard you try to tip the gaydar upward."
"I have a point of reference." Blake added. "Yang's dad. She's shown videos of him, and the two act so much alike it's obvious both aren't."
"Come on, guys!" Jaune pouted. Remembering seeing Yang's dad, he quirked a brow. "And me and Mr. Xiao Long look or act nothing alike!"
"It's so cute how you don't see it." Yang pinched his cheek.
"I also found his 'reading material under his bed.'" Nora waggled her eyebrows. "Let me tell ya. That stuff got me hot under the shirt~. And I like men."
"Nora!" Jaune blushed.
"Ninja girls, jungle girls, army women, and so much more." The ginger went on. "Looks like he's into women with power and authority."
"Kill me now." Jaune cried.
The others perked at what he was into. Some of them weren't interested, but they were wondering what the material looked like. It would give them a sort of teasing material on him.
"Whoever is up there? Can you please just play something to stop this conversation? It's getting uncomfortable." Jaune begged the person in the projection room.
The projector's response was to flick on and off repeatedly before making a 'pblt!' sound before turning off.
"Oh come on!" The blonde shouted.
END
AN: Yes. Jitterwhack did a react story. But he did it in a musical way. A dead (not literally) fanfic author gave me this idea and helped me out with the lyrics before he washed his hands off the fandom. YOU WILL BE MISSED MR. AUTHOR WHO SAID NOT TO GIVE HIS NAME! I LOVED SOME OF YOUR STUFF!… AND THANKS FOR SOME OF THE ADVICE ON MY SERIOUS-ISH STORIES!