This is a filksong based on Dante Alighieri's Inferno, intended to be sung to the tune of "A Whole New World" from Disney's Aladdin.
"The Underworld"
VIRGIL: I can guide you through Hell For God's sake, open your eyes! The Underworld
Stinking, slobbering, vulgar
Relax, Dante, against my shoulder
I'm always on your side.
The beast's forbidden to blunder
Circling sideways and under
On this plunging Geryon ride
A true Scholastic point of view
I'm here to let you know
Just where to go
So please will you stop screaming?
DANTE: The Underworld
A nasty place I must go through
And when I'm hanging here
It's all too clear
That now I'm in the Malebolge with you
VIRGIL: Now I'm in the Malebolge with you
DANTE: All these horrible sins The Underworld
Give me that righteous feeling
(Falling weighted, I'm dealing
With how Geyron tends to fly)
VIRGIL: Dante, if you close your eyes-!
DANTE: I've got more things to see?
VIRGIL: Hold your breath - it smells awful.
DANTE: I'm a poetic star
I've come so far
I can't go back to my own fair city
VIRGIL: The Underworld
DANTE: Every turn takes us down
VIRGIL: It's divine justice we pursue
DANTE: Every torment or fetter
BOTH: I note them everywhere
My mercy's rare
I must share this underworld with you
The Underworld
No one can flee.
VIRGIL: We keep our pace
DANTE: 'cause Heaven's face
BOTH: guides you and me!
There is no way in Hell I can excuse myself, is there?
However, if you come up with any justification for this filk, let me know in a review. :P