Title: Get Low
Rating: PG
Summary: Thou shall have no idols other than L, no matter how fresh or clean.
A/N: Just some Wammy House crack. Because that is how we roll.
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It was a week after Matt's birthday and, as per usual, he had gotten a present from L. Normally, L would never need Matt to write to him and tell him what he wanted because, whether it be a birthday or Christmas, Matt always, always wanted the latest videogame on the market and L would provide it for him without question. But this time…
"Are you sure that was a good idea, L?" Rodger asked as he and the young detective sat in his office. He placed his forehead in his palm tiredly. "I don't mean to question you but… why couldn't you have just given him a game like always?"
L smiled softly. "I think it's good for him to show interest in other things."
"Well… yes…"
"And you encourage the other orphans when it comes to music, isn't that right?"
"Classical music," Rodger stressed.
"Still," L said, shaking his head. "I see no problem with it."
"I just don't want him to be a bad influence…"
"I think Mello is quite fine."
"It's not Mello I mean." Rodger turned a bit and mumbled, "He's already too far gone, anyway…"
"It's fine, really."
-
Down the hallway in the playroom, where Near usually spent his days either alone or being harassed by Mello and Matt, the young pale boy sat in the middle of the floor with an army of robots lined up in front of him. He sat there with his back to the other two boys who were on the other side of the room with a CD player that had just recently been plugged in.
"No way! L actually got it for you?" Mello asked excitedly, looking at Matt's new CD.
Matt smiled. "Yup!"
"What're you waiting for? Let's go!"
"Okay," Matt said and placed the CD into the slot. In a moment, the music began and the two boys squealed with excitement, much to Near's disdain.
"To the windooooooows, to the walls!"
"To the walls," Mello shouted.
"Till the sweat drops down my balls!"
"My balls!"
"All these bitches crawl!"
"CRAWL!"
Matt and Mello jumped into the middle room and began to shake themselves like no orphans had ever shaken before - bumping and grinding all over each other like they had seen in the music videos.
Near looked up in annoyance when one of his dolls was knocked over but then gasped lightly at what was being done - and in front of his plushies, no less.
"Aw, skeet, skeet, muthafu-"
"Matt! Mello!"
Both boys stopped in mid-wiggle and stared at the open doorway where Rodger and L loomed. Rodger stomped forward and picked up the two boys by the scruff of their necks and held them up to L like evidence.
"Just look at what they were doing - what they were saying! In front of Near!"
"Now, Rodger," L comforted, "I'm sure Near didn't hear-"
"The whole NEIGHBORHOOD heard it! All right, you two are in for some serious time out!" Rodger scolded the two as he turned off the CD player and carried them kicking and howling out of the room. L sighed and followed.
Near huffed and turned back to his playthings.
-
That night, after Matt and Mello were in their room and most of the orphanage was asleep, Rodger crept back to the door of the playroom to check up on Near. Maybe L was right, maybe Near had just ignored them -
Rodger blinked when he heard something soft like humming come from the young boy. He slithered a little closer and faintly heard a monotone recital of, "And stop, oh, and wiggle with it, wiggle with it…"
Rodger raged, "TAINTED!" and scared the daylights out of Near.
-
A/N: XD Yes, well… Any thoughts…?