Klinger wrapped his mink coat around him tightly. It was cold out, and he
was on guard duty. Again. Last time he'd done guard duty, he'd been shot by
the kid he was training. He winced when he remembered it. Captain Pierce
had told him it was only a scratch, but it still hurt. And he had to have
his coat sent away to be repaired. To bad he wasn't allowed to be sent away
home from the wound, but never mind. He still had a whole wardrobe the new
Colonel hadn't seen. It was only a matter of time before he decided
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger wasn't fit for the army. Right now, that same
Corporal was wishing he'd gone with regulation boots instead of the high
heels he had on now. It was just too cold. Klinger held the gun to his
chest. He'd been with it so many times, he almost felt unsafe without it.
Suddenly, there was a noise from over near the supply tent. Tightening his
head scarf and making sure his earrings were hanging correctly, Klinger
marched over to the person coming out of the tent.
'Halt! Who goes there?' Klinger demanded.
'It's Hawkeye,' someone replied.
'Advance and be recognized,' Klinger said, relaxing a little. He enjoyed Hawkeye's company. He sometimes was a little cruel with his jokes about the dresses Klinger wore, but he was a good egg, always looked out for people who needed looking out for.
'Klinger, knock it off,' Hawkeye said, moving closer. His black hair was slightly tousled, and his jacket was hanging off him crookedly, so Klinger assumed he'd been with a nurse.
'Can I at least have the password? I can't let you go through without the password,' Klinger said.
'Uh, it had something to do with food, didn't it?' Hawkeye asked. Klinger grinned in the dark. Hawkeye was never too bothered with all that military stuff.
'"Pumpernickel",' Klinger said.
'Oh, well, then you can go on through, soldier,' Hawkeye said importantly, saluting Klinger.
'Wise guy,' Klinger said, but he stepped aside to let Hawkeye through. Klinger began walking around the compound, ducking between tents and being as quiet as a cat. Well, as quiet as a person sized cat can be. After half an hour of wandering around out in the cold, with nothing to do, the door to the Officer's club opened, and someone started heading Klinger's way.
'Halt! Who goes there?' Klinger demanded, stepping in front of whoever it was.
'Colonel Potter,' the voice said, and the small silvery haired Colonel moved into the light so Klinger could see him better.
'Do you have the password?' Klinger asked.
'Beef stew. Or was that last nights password?' Potter asked himself. It seemed to be a characteristic of the Colonel's of the 4077. Henry Blake was a little absent minded too. Well, you'd have to be, after how much scotch he used to drink during the day.
'Last nights, sir,' Klinger said. He may not let him go on without the password, but Klinger still felt it helped to be respectful to get his section eight he knew he'd get sooner or later.
'Then what in the name of Samuel Hill is it tonight?' Potter asked.
'"Pumpernickel", sir,' Klinger said helpfully.
'Thanks, son, but don't tell everyone you see tonight. Kinda defeats the purpose of having a password,' Potter said before moving on. Klinger shrugged. Potter was ok, but he had liked Henry better. Got a more interesting reaction to each of his dresses from Henry. Klinger sighed quietly to himself. It had been about a month since Henry's plane had been shot down on his way home. Klinger watched Potter open the door to his office and go in for a night cap. At least Potter was better than having Frank Burns as CO. Klinger shuddered. Worst week and a half of his life. He continued on his rounds again, trying to think of new ideas for his escape from Korea. Halfway through making plans for a giant hang glider, Klinger remembered he'd already tried that (it failed, needless to say), when he realised that someone was coming out from the Mess tent.
'Advance and be recognized!' Klinger said, coming up behind them. Father Mulchay turned around.
'Oh, Klinger, you gave me a start,' he said.
'Sorry, Father,' Klinger said. He never purposely annoyed the priest of the unit. He always had something nice to say about Klinger's dresses.
'Quite alright. I suppose you would like the password?' Father Mulchay asked.
'If it's not too much trouble,' Klinger said, wishing the wind would stop blowing a draft under his mink coat and into his skirt.
'"Pantomime", wasn't it?' Mulchay asked.
'Uh, yeah, that sounds right,' Klinger said, wishing he could go into the Mess tent himself and sit by the stove.
'No, that's not it. "Punctuality"? No, "Principal"? Oh, I can't remember it!' Father Mulchay said.
'I'll tell you, but if anyone asks, I never did, ok?' Klinger asked. 'It's "Pumpernickel".'
'"Pumpernickel"?' Father Mulchay asked. 'That doesn't sound right, either.'
'Trust me, Father. Would I lie to you?' Klinger asked.
'Well, I guess not,' Mulchay said, looking a little bewildered, but he began walking to his tent anyway without trying to hold Klinger up any more. Klinger moved away quickly, and out of the wind, and sighed with relief at how much warmer he felt without the stiff Korean wind blowing his coat up. Just then, the wind changed, and was blowing hard into his face.
'Korea is cruel,' Klinger muttered as he kept on walking. A door banged closed at Pre-op, and Klinger hurried on over.
'Boy, it's cold,' someone was muttering to themselves.
'Friend or foe?' Klinger asked.
'Friend,' the surprised person replied.
'What's the password?' Klinger demanded.
'Last time I heard, it was "Pumpernickel",' the person said.
'Advance and be recognized,' Klinger told them, gripping the gun tightly as the wind blew harder and colder. BJ stepped forward.
'On guard duty again, Klinger?' he asked. Klinger grinned up at the tall doctor. He should have known it was him. BJ was the only doctor who didn't try to be grade A military and remember the password. BJ was Trapper's replacement, and was considerate to everyone he met, including the lower ranking personnel. He didn't make mean jokes with Hawkeye about Klinger's dresses, like Trapper did, even though Trapper was a nice guy as well. Klinger envied Trapper. He'd gone home to his wife and family, a few days after Henry was shot down.
'Yeah, well, that new kid was shooting too many tents and jeeps when he was on duty, so he was shipped off somewhere else. I had to come back on the duty roster,' Klinger said.
'Better you than me. It's freezing out here,' BJ said before walking towards the Swamp, huddled up against the wind. Klinger thought about warmer nights when he had guard duty, earlier in the year. It helped keep him warmer, and it gave him some great memories as well. He grinned into the night when he remembered the time he'd stopped General Barker while wearing a woman's uniform.
'How do I know you're not one of them with a clever make-up job?' he remembered asking, before the General realised Klinger was harmless. Then the next morning, Klinger had stopped him, Henry, Hawkeye and Trapper, naked. It would have worked, too, if Trapper and Hawkeye hadn't acted like it was a normal occurrence. Major Houlihan's tent opened and banged nosily against it's frame from the wind as someone slipped out. Klinger glanced at his watch. Hotlips must have cut her date with Frank short again. He didn't usually leave until five hours after Klinger started guard duty, and it had only been two. Klinger grinned to himself as he stealthily tailed Frank towards the Swamp. Klinger didn't like Frank, actually, no-one in the whole of camp did. But with Klinger, it was a little more personal. Frank was very GI, a Major, and he insisted on everything being military, didn't even approve of someone like him, trying to get out on a psycho. He wore uniform all of the time, and would probably have Mac Arthur yawning if he started talking to him. Klinger was the polar opposite to Frank, with the dress wearing and all. It caused them a sort of rivalry between them. Frank was always ordering Klinger to wear proper uniform, but Klinger thought that would mean giving up his section eight. He'd thrown him a couple of punches once or twice, knocked him out when he made Klinger spill a tray a nurse had asked to be sent to the lab, after he'd stopped him to make him take off a red bandana his ma had given him. At any possible opportunity, Klinger made hell for the Major. He grinned to himself as he remembered when he'd thrown snow onto his bare feet in the middle of the night, while Frank was sleeping. Klinger finally made his move just outside the Swamp.
'Halt! Who goes there?' Klinger said, swinging the gun down from his shoulder in one fluid movement, and pointing it Frank.
'It's me, Major Burns,' Frank said, turning, and jumping when he saw the barrel of the gun pointing at his chest.
'I don't know any Major Burns,' Klinger replied.
'Get away from me, you psycho,' Frank growled.
'Can I have that in writing, please?' Klinger asked, moving the gun closer to Frank's chest.
'Are you mad?' Frank yelled.
'That's what he's been trying to tell you since the beginning of the war, Frank,' Hawkeye said from inside.
'Leave me alone,' Frank said, turning to go into the warmth of the Swamp.
'What's the password?' Klinger demanded. He was starting to enjoy this.
'It's "Pumpernickel",' Frank replied without turning around.
'Turn around!' Klinger barked at the Major, shoving the gun into Frank's side hard. 'This things loaded.' It wasn't really, Klinger felt more comfortable without the bullets in it, but it was a good bluff. Shaking, Frank put his hands over his head.
'Klinger, I swear, if you shoot me, I'll be sending you home in a coffin!' Frank shouted.
'Better than staying here,' Klinger said, poking him with the gun again. 'Move. To the Colonel's tent.'
'Can we come? I want to see how this ends. This is better than a soap opera,' Hawkeye asked, poking his head out from the door.
'Sure, you can help keep an eye on this prisoner,' Klinger said. Hawkeye and BJ came out after putting their coats on and followed Klinger and Frank to Potter's office.
'I'm innocent! I gave you the password!' Frank was howling.
'Be quiet, you Korean spy!' Klinger yelled at him. BJ and Hawkeye were laughing behind them, and Klinger looked back to throw them a wink. This made the two surgeons have another fit of laughter, and Klinger worked on keeping up with nutter act. They marched into Potter's office, where Colonel Potter was pouring himself a scotch.
'What in blue blazes is going on here?' Potter yelled.
'I found this man, while patrolling, and he doesn't know the password,' Klinger said, saluting.
'I gave the password!' Frank said hysterically.
'I asked these two to come along as witnesses, sir,' Klinger said, nodding back towards Hawkeye and BJ.
'He didn't give the right password, sir,' Hawkeye said, looking sincere.
'Well, I thought it was the right one. What is it tonight?' Frank asked.
'It's "Pumpernickel",' BJ said helpfully.
'I said that!' Frank yelled.
'I wouldn't have brought you in, if you had,' Klinger said, the gun being pushed slightly harder into Frank's back.
'Then what did I say?' Frank asked, confused.
'You tried "Burns", "Frank", "psycho", "Klinger",' Hawkeye began, counting off his fingers.
'I think there was a "coffin" in there somewhere,' BJ added.
'You're all mad!' Frank yelled.
'He tried "mad" too, if I remember correctly,' Hawkeye grinned. Margaret came barging into the office. Klinger groaned inwardly. Margaret, known affectionately by Hawkeye as Hotlips, was Klinger's eighth least favourite person in camp. The first seven were Frank Burns. Klinger tried not to cause too much trouble for Margaret, she was too good at giving orders, pulling rank, and getting people arrested, unlike Frank. Klinger thought it best to try and keep as far away from her as possible.
'What is going on? I saw Klinger taking Major Burns in here, and I want to know what's happening!' she said shrilly.
'Frank didn't give the right password,' Hawkeye explained. 'Klinger brought him in for questioning.' There was something to be said for Hawkeye's cruel sense of humour. He always used it on Frank.
'I'll have to ask you for the password too, ma'am,' Klinger said, looking over at Margaret, and daring to try and annoy her for the first time since his first week in the 4077.
'It's "Pumpernickel", now let him go!' Margaret said. Potter was standing there, listening to the chain of events. Klinger didn't know where he got his patience from. If his pa were Colonel here, he'd be yelling with the best of them.
'I'm going to charge for assault!' Frank yelled.
'One of your patients are thinking of doing the same, Frank,' Hawkeye said.
'Why are you charging Klinger for assault? He was doing his job, and it requires him to bring in anyone who doesn't know the password,' Potter said to Frank.
'He threatened me when he knew who it was,' Frank replied.
'So would I,' Hawkeye muttered.
'Relax,' Klinger said, holding his gun up so it was pointing at the roof and patting the handle of it. 'It's not loaded.' The gun went off loudly, and a rip appeared in the canvas roof of the tent. Margaret screamed and threw herself to the ground beside Frank who'd fainted. Hawkeye and BJ had half jumped down, and were slowing standing up, while Potter stared at Klinger.
'Not loaded, eh?' he asked. Klinger looked at the gun in his hands sheepishly.
'Someone else must have been using it. I never put bullets in it, for safety reasons,' he explained. Must have forgotten to check it tonight.
'You four, go to bed, or where ever you're heading,' Potter said, pointing at Margaret, Frank, who'd come two after Margaret started fanning him, Hawkeye and BJ.
'Yes, sir,' the four said before going out of the tent, Hawkeye and BJ laughing at Frank, and Margaret telling them to shut up.
'You, get back on guard duty,' Potter said to Klinger.
'Yes, sir!' Klinger said, saluting.
'Oh, and Klinger? Your left earring is hanging crooked,' Potter said, smiling at Klinger. Klinger went out, straightening the offending earring. Potter was a good sort. Not even a threat of transferring him closer to the front. It's what he'd have done if he were military and had someone like himself in the camp. Klinger took the rest of the bullets from the gun and put them safely in his pocket.
'Halt! Who goes there?' Klinger demanded.
'It's Hawkeye,' someone replied.
'Advance and be recognized,' Klinger said, relaxing a little. He enjoyed Hawkeye's company. He sometimes was a little cruel with his jokes about the dresses Klinger wore, but he was a good egg, always looked out for people who needed looking out for.
'Klinger, knock it off,' Hawkeye said, moving closer. His black hair was slightly tousled, and his jacket was hanging off him crookedly, so Klinger assumed he'd been with a nurse.
'Can I at least have the password? I can't let you go through without the password,' Klinger said.
'Uh, it had something to do with food, didn't it?' Hawkeye asked. Klinger grinned in the dark. Hawkeye was never too bothered with all that military stuff.
'"Pumpernickel",' Klinger said.
'Oh, well, then you can go on through, soldier,' Hawkeye said importantly, saluting Klinger.
'Wise guy,' Klinger said, but he stepped aside to let Hawkeye through. Klinger began walking around the compound, ducking between tents and being as quiet as a cat. Well, as quiet as a person sized cat can be. After half an hour of wandering around out in the cold, with nothing to do, the door to the Officer's club opened, and someone started heading Klinger's way.
'Halt! Who goes there?' Klinger demanded, stepping in front of whoever it was.
'Colonel Potter,' the voice said, and the small silvery haired Colonel moved into the light so Klinger could see him better.
'Do you have the password?' Klinger asked.
'Beef stew. Or was that last nights password?' Potter asked himself. It seemed to be a characteristic of the Colonel's of the 4077. Henry Blake was a little absent minded too. Well, you'd have to be, after how much scotch he used to drink during the day.
'Last nights, sir,' Klinger said. He may not let him go on without the password, but Klinger still felt it helped to be respectful to get his section eight he knew he'd get sooner or later.
'Then what in the name of Samuel Hill is it tonight?' Potter asked.
'"Pumpernickel", sir,' Klinger said helpfully.
'Thanks, son, but don't tell everyone you see tonight. Kinda defeats the purpose of having a password,' Potter said before moving on. Klinger shrugged. Potter was ok, but he had liked Henry better. Got a more interesting reaction to each of his dresses from Henry. Klinger sighed quietly to himself. It had been about a month since Henry's plane had been shot down on his way home. Klinger watched Potter open the door to his office and go in for a night cap. At least Potter was better than having Frank Burns as CO. Klinger shuddered. Worst week and a half of his life. He continued on his rounds again, trying to think of new ideas for his escape from Korea. Halfway through making plans for a giant hang glider, Klinger remembered he'd already tried that (it failed, needless to say), when he realised that someone was coming out from the Mess tent.
'Advance and be recognized!' Klinger said, coming up behind them. Father Mulchay turned around.
'Oh, Klinger, you gave me a start,' he said.
'Sorry, Father,' Klinger said. He never purposely annoyed the priest of the unit. He always had something nice to say about Klinger's dresses.
'Quite alright. I suppose you would like the password?' Father Mulchay asked.
'If it's not too much trouble,' Klinger said, wishing the wind would stop blowing a draft under his mink coat and into his skirt.
'"Pantomime", wasn't it?' Mulchay asked.
'Uh, yeah, that sounds right,' Klinger said, wishing he could go into the Mess tent himself and sit by the stove.
'No, that's not it. "Punctuality"? No, "Principal"? Oh, I can't remember it!' Father Mulchay said.
'I'll tell you, but if anyone asks, I never did, ok?' Klinger asked. 'It's "Pumpernickel".'
'"Pumpernickel"?' Father Mulchay asked. 'That doesn't sound right, either.'
'Trust me, Father. Would I lie to you?' Klinger asked.
'Well, I guess not,' Mulchay said, looking a little bewildered, but he began walking to his tent anyway without trying to hold Klinger up any more. Klinger moved away quickly, and out of the wind, and sighed with relief at how much warmer he felt without the stiff Korean wind blowing his coat up. Just then, the wind changed, and was blowing hard into his face.
'Korea is cruel,' Klinger muttered as he kept on walking. A door banged closed at Pre-op, and Klinger hurried on over.
'Boy, it's cold,' someone was muttering to themselves.
'Friend or foe?' Klinger asked.
'Friend,' the surprised person replied.
'What's the password?' Klinger demanded.
'Last time I heard, it was "Pumpernickel",' the person said.
'Advance and be recognized,' Klinger told them, gripping the gun tightly as the wind blew harder and colder. BJ stepped forward.
'On guard duty again, Klinger?' he asked. Klinger grinned up at the tall doctor. He should have known it was him. BJ was the only doctor who didn't try to be grade A military and remember the password. BJ was Trapper's replacement, and was considerate to everyone he met, including the lower ranking personnel. He didn't make mean jokes with Hawkeye about Klinger's dresses, like Trapper did, even though Trapper was a nice guy as well. Klinger envied Trapper. He'd gone home to his wife and family, a few days after Henry was shot down.
'Yeah, well, that new kid was shooting too many tents and jeeps when he was on duty, so he was shipped off somewhere else. I had to come back on the duty roster,' Klinger said.
'Better you than me. It's freezing out here,' BJ said before walking towards the Swamp, huddled up against the wind. Klinger thought about warmer nights when he had guard duty, earlier in the year. It helped keep him warmer, and it gave him some great memories as well. He grinned into the night when he remembered the time he'd stopped General Barker while wearing a woman's uniform.
'How do I know you're not one of them with a clever make-up job?' he remembered asking, before the General realised Klinger was harmless. Then the next morning, Klinger had stopped him, Henry, Hawkeye and Trapper, naked. It would have worked, too, if Trapper and Hawkeye hadn't acted like it was a normal occurrence. Major Houlihan's tent opened and banged nosily against it's frame from the wind as someone slipped out. Klinger glanced at his watch. Hotlips must have cut her date with Frank short again. He didn't usually leave until five hours after Klinger started guard duty, and it had only been two. Klinger grinned to himself as he stealthily tailed Frank towards the Swamp. Klinger didn't like Frank, actually, no-one in the whole of camp did. But with Klinger, it was a little more personal. Frank was very GI, a Major, and he insisted on everything being military, didn't even approve of someone like him, trying to get out on a psycho. He wore uniform all of the time, and would probably have Mac Arthur yawning if he started talking to him. Klinger was the polar opposite to Frank, with the dress wearing and all. It caused them a sort of rivalry between them. Frank was always ordering Klinger to wear proper uniform, but Klinger thought that would mean giving up his section eight. He'd thrown him a couple of punches once or twice, knocked him out when he made Klinger spill a tray a nurse had asked to be sent to the lab, after he'd stopped him to make him take off a red bandana his ma had given him. At any possible opportunity, Klinger made hell for the Major. He grinned to himself as he remembered when he'd thrown snow onto his bare feet in the middle of the night, while Frank was sleeping. Klinger finally made his move just outside the Swamp.
'Halt! Who goes there?' Klinger said, swinging the gun down from his shoulder in one fluid movement, and pointing it Frank.
'It's me, Major Burns,' Frank said, turning, and jumping when he saw the barrel of the gun pointing at his chest.
'I don't know any Major Burns,' Klinger replied.
'Get away from me, you psycho,' Frank growled.
'Can I have that in writing, please?' Klinger asked, moving the gun closer to Frank's chest.
'Are you mad?' Frank yelled.
'That's what he's been trying to tell you since the beginning of the war, Frank,' Hawkeye said from inside.
'Leave me alone,' Frank said, turning to go into the warmth of the Swamp.
'What's the password?' Klinger demanded. He was starting to enjoy this.
'It's "Pumpernickel",' Frank replied without turning around.
'Turn around!' Klinger barked at the Major, shoving the gun into Frank's side hard. 'This things loaded.' It wasn't really, Klinger felt more comfortable without the bullets in it, but it was a good bluff. Shaking, Frank put his hands over his head.
'Klinger, I swear, if you shoot me, I'll be sending you home in a coffin!' Frank shouted.
'Better than staying here,' Klinger said, poking him with the gun again. 'Move. To the Colonel's tent.'
'Can we come? I want to see how this ends. This is better than a soap opera,' Hawkeye asked, poking his head out from the door.
'Sure, you can help keep an eye on this prisoner,' Klinger said. Hawkeye and BJ came out after putting their coats on and followed Klinger and Frank to Potter's office.
'I'm innocent! I gave you the password!' Frank was howling.
'Be quiet, you Korean spy!' Klinger yelled at him. BJ and Hawkeye were laughing behind them, and Klinger looked back to throw them a wink. This made the two surgeons have another fit of laughter, and Klinger worked on keeping up with nutter act. They marched into Potter's office, where Colonel Potter was pouring himself a scotch.
'What in blue blazes is going on here?' Potter yelled.
'I found this man, while patrolling, and he doesn't know the password,' Klinger said, saluting.
'I gave the password!' Frank said hysterically.
'I asked these two to come along as witnesses, sir,' Klinger said, nodding back towards Hawkeye and BJ.
'He didn't give the right password, sir,' Hawkeye said, looking sincere.
'Well, I thought it was the right one. What is it tonight?' Frank asked.
'It's "Pumpernickel",' BJ said helpfully.
'I said that!' Frank yelled.
'I wouldn't have brought you in, if you had,' Klinger said, the gun being pushed slightly harder into Frank's back.
'Then what did I say?' Frank asked, confused.
'You tried "Burns", "Frank", "psycho", "Klinger",' Hawkeye began, counting off his fingers.
'I think there was a "coffin" in there somewhere,' BJ added.
'You're all mad!' Frank yelled.
'He tried "mad" too, if I remember correctly,' Hawkeye grinned. Margaret came barging into the office. Klinger groaned inwardly. Margaret, known affectionately by Hawkeye as Hotlips, was Klinger's eighth least favourite person in camp. The first seven were Frank Burns. Klinger tried not to cause too much trouble for Margaret, she was too good at giving orders, pulling rank, and getting people arrested, unlike Frank. Klinger thought it best to try and keep as far away from her as possible.
'What is going on? I saw Klinger taking Major Burns in here, and I want to know what's happening!' she said shrilly.
'Frank didn't give the right password,' Hawkeye explained. 'Klinger brought him in for questioning.' There was something to be said for Hawkeye's cruel sense of humour. He always used it on Frank.
'I'll have to ask you for the password too, ma'am,' Klinger said, looking over at Margaret, and daring to try and annoy her for the first time since his first week in the 4077.
'It's "Pumpernickel", now let him go!' Margaret said. Potter was standing there, listening to the chain of events. Klinger didn't know where he got his patience from. If his pa were Colonel here, he'd be yelling with the best of them.
'I'm going to charge for assault!' Frank yelled.
'One of your patients are thinking of doing the same, Frank,' Hawkeye said.
'Why are you charging Klinger for assault? He was doing his job, and it requires him to bring in anyone who doesn't know the password,' Potter said to Frank.
'He threatened me when he knew who it was,' Frank replied.
'So would I,' Hawkeye muttered.
'Relax,' Klinger said, holding his gun up so it was pointing at the roof and patting the handle of it. 'It's not loaded.' The gun went off loudly, and a rip appeared in the canvas roof of the tent. Margaret screamed and threw herself to the ground beside Frank who'd fainted. Hawkeye and BJ had half jumped down, and were slowing standing up, while Potter stared at Klinger.
'Not loaded, eh?' he asked. Klinger looked at the gun in his hands sheepishly.
'Someone else must have been using it. I never put bullets in it, for safety reasons,' he explained. Must have forgotten to check it tonight.
'You four, go to bed, or where ever you're heading,' Potter said, pointing at Margaret, Frank, who'd come two after Margaret started fanning him, Hawkeye and BJ.
'Yes, sir,' the four said before going out of the tent, Hawkeye and BJ laughing at Frank, and Margaret telling them to shut up.
'You, get back on guard duty,' Potter said to Klinger.
'Yes, sir!' Klinger said, saluting.
'Oh, and Klinger? Your left earring is hanging crooked,' Potter said, smiling at Klinger. Klinger went out, straightening the offending earring. Potter was a good sort. Not even a threat of transferring him closer to the front. It's what he'd have done if he were military and had someone like himself in the camp. Klinger took the rest of the bullets from the gun and put them safely in his pocket.