Title:
Author: Limnamae
Disclaimer: I don´t own anything. I even think the plot is seen before
Timeline: During 'The Gift'
Spoilers: Everything up to 'The Gift
Synopsis: Buffy thoughts and feelings in and after the episode
Distribution: Just let me know where
Feedback: Yes please. It makes you know if anyone likes it. Very good.
Notes:
As my eyes closed for the last time I felt my soul lift up into the air and I could see all of my friends gathering around what used to be me. They cried. Spike broke down and Giles looked so broken. I guess he lost the only daugther he had ever had. I know he isn´t my real father but he was more of a father to me than my own. It was him what held me when my mother died. It was him who help me pick up the pieces of me when Angel left me. I owe him so much and love him like only a real daugther could love her real father.
As I see Dawn walk down the stairs, hugging her stomach in pain, I just want to hold her. I see the tears in her eyes as her eyes fall up on my body. I know she will miss me a lot but I also know that she is strong and she will be all right. They will all be alright. Even my beloved Angel.
Angel. As soon as I think of him the scene before my eyes chance. I see him. In the sun. So beautiful. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I see him save Cordelia and the new girl, Fred. I see him come home to the world and I see him happy. Smiling as he tell the rest of his group that he want to say it. 'There is no place like…' And then he stiffens. Willow. And he know. 'It´s Buffy' The world stops and his eyes empty. He just stands there. I don´t even think he is listing to a word Willow is saying. Cordelia is crying. Never thought she would miss me. Wesley´s eyes a watery. I really like this new Wesley. So much better than the one I met years ago. He can take care of Angel. Suddenly I.. well hear is not the word but I just know that Angel needs my attention. Then I see him smash his hand into a wall and hear or what ever I do, him scream: ' YOU CANT TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME. YOU PROMISED ME SHE WOULD LIVE IF I TOOK IT BACK. YOU PROMISED ME. BRING HER BACK… Please..' The last word is only above a whisper. And then he breaks. I have never seen him like this. Not even when he came back from hell. In this place I´m not supposed to feel pain but still I feel it. I feel it because I feel his soul crying out for mine.
Later after Wesley have put Angel into bed I visit him. Sit by his bed as he sleeps. He cant see me but somehow his soul knows I´m there. He is crying in his sleep but somehow his soul finds mine and it whispers: "Buffy?" "Yes," my soul whispers back. "Where are you?" "I´m here. For now." "Do you have to go?" "Yes," I whisper. "But I will always be with you." "Don´t go." "I have too. Promise me that you will keep on living." "I don´t want to." "You have too. I love you" And then I feel my soul being lifted up.
I watch him for a while more and then I leave. I feel myself being splinted into nothing but still me and I feel it. Safety, love, warmth. My gift.