Send in the clones, mother fucker!
Issue 1: Louise's Council of Ironic Alternate Versions of the Series Cast
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"Stop it Ablity Man," said Night-Nail. She was raising an eyebrow at the one sitting to her right.
"Stop what," he asked, with his head tilted.
"Staring at my legs."
"I'm not staring at your legs."
"Yes you are, stop it."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
Ability Man's face was slammed against the desk in front of them. They were in the grand council rooom where all the meetings took place. It was built similar to the kind of college classrooms you usually see on TV. But much bigger.
"OW," he said, rubbing his face. "You're a bitch, you know that?"
"So's life sweet heart, get used to it," Night-Nail shot back.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" a pompous young female voice suddenly boomed. "BEHOLD! I, Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière have invented…. THIS THING!"
She tore a cloth off a device that looked suspiciously like a giant death ray underneath it to reveal a device that looked suspiciously like a giant death ray.
"What is it?" cried a particularly clueless super villain.
"I don't KNOW! YOU!" She cried pointing to one of her henchmen, whose name was 'Hench Man", "STAND OVER THERE!"
"Okay."
The henchman walked in front of the ray looking device. Louise powered it up, and fired it. BOOM! There was a smoking crater where Hench Man had previously been standing.
"BEHOLD! THIS IS WHAT IT IS!"
Ability Man had a raised eyebrow and his mouth was hanging open.
"A death ray? That's it? You called everyone in the Villains United for Various Acquisitions of Cash and World Domination… JUST so you could show us… another death ray?"
"APPARENTLY!"
There was a brief moment of silence, broken by a light clapping from the clueless villain from before.
"Why is she our leader again?" Ability Man asked.
"Because, if we don't she'll blow up the world?"
"Right, right."
"Um… Hello?"
All 139 people in the room looked up, looking for the voice.
"Boss?"
"HENCH! YOU'RE ALIVE! WHERE ARE YOU, DAMNIT!? IT IS VITALLY IMPORANT WE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, FOR THE SAKE OF SCIENCE!"
"Why does she always talk like she's giving a speech?" asked Night-Nail.
"I haven't known for the last few years, what makes you think I'm gonna know now?"
"Uh… Well that radio you gave me in case I wind up in alternate universe seems to be working."
"OF COURSE!" Louise declared. "YOUR VOICE IS COMING OVER THE INTERCOMM! GASP!" She declared, "I'VE INVENTED AN INTERDIMENSIONAL TRANSPORT DEVICE! WITH THIS, WE CAN TRAVEL TO A WORLD WITH NO HEROES, AND CONQUER! I MUST HAVE USED MY MIND WIPE RAY IN CASE I WAS KIDNAPPED SO NO ONE WOULD NO HOW TO BUILD ONE!"
"You don't have a mind wipe ray," Ability Man pointed out.
"THEN I MUST HAVE BEEN PUTTING RANDOM PIECES OF TECHNOLOGY TOGETHER AGAIN! NOW EVERYONE PREPARE YOURSELVES! I'M GOING TO SET THE DEVICE TO DRAG HENCH BACK, AND THEN I SHALL TRACK DOWN THE PERFECT WORLD AND DRAG A LOCAL RESIDENT HERE!"
"How many times have we tried this plan again?"
"42," Night-Nail commented.
"How many times have we been thwarted by good guy versions of us?"
"42."
"… How close have we come?"
"Closer than our other plans."
"Will you sleep with me?"
"Absolutely not."
"Bitch."
"And proud of it."
Meanwhile, on... whatever the world this show takes place on is called... number 23, a more innocent look-a-like of Night-Nail, lay sleeping in her bed. Dreaming her favorite dream.
It was always such a simple dream. Just a picnic. That was all they were doing. The two laughed, as innocent as childeren. Everything bright and cheerful. And he would rest his head on her lap, and she would feed him. Then he would tell her how he loved her the minute he set eyes on her. Saito would sit up, and look at her, with happy, and wanting eyes. He started moving his face closer to hers. This was it! Siesta shut her eyes, pursed her lips. They inched closer, and closer and… Siesta rolled out of her bed, landing with a painful bump on her head.
"Ow…!" she whined. She stood up, dazed, and struggled to the window so she could check the sun for the time. She'd slept in. With a yelp, realizing how late in the morning it was, she quickly changed into her maid uniform and ran toward the academy. Once she got there, she realized she'd forgotten to have any breakfast. At that moment, her stomach growled loudly.
"Today isn't going to be good is it?" she grimaced sadly.
Saito's day, meanwhile, started out encouragingly well. He hadn't seen Kirche around, and so she hadn't tried to seduce him. And that meant, he got stay on Louise's good terms. And that meant, he didn't have to settle for stale bread for breakfast!
"You don't have to eat like a dog, even if you are one," Louise commented, as he practially inhaled the piece of pie she had given him. Yesterday had been exceptionally unlucky, and he'd been starved the entire day. "You know your a very lucky person. I really should keep letting you starve the way you... you..."
Louise flushed angrily. Yesterday Siesta and him had gotten uncomfterably close. Saito made a silent promise that he would NOT ruin today. Even if it meant avoiding the pretty... smooth skinned... well endowed... cute... busty... kind... large breasted young maid. He quickly brought himself down to earth with the thoughts of starvation from yesterday. Today, no matter what, he'd make sure not get near any girls. He'd make it up to them later, but today was too good to ruin.
What he didn't know was that he WOULD meet Siesta, it WOULD be in front of LOUISE, and yet he was still going to be okay. Though what was about to happen, was still going to ruin his day.
She just wanted to give him a hello. That was all. But he'd been avoiding her all day. Did he hate her for what happened yesterday? OH NO! What if because of her actions, instead of bringing Saito closer, she'd actually pushed him away because of Madame Louise's punishment!
"Could today possibly get any worse!" she asked herself mentally, and reminding herself to kick herself for making such a stupid mistake. Then she spotted exactly who she'd been looking for! And he hadn't noticed her yet!
"Oh Saito!" she called. Saito cringed slighly.
(Okay, okay, I can still make this work... I just have to be polite and not get distracted by her... assets... and I can get out of this witout angering Louise, and not having Siesta feel rejected)
"Hi!" he said, he said in an overly cheerful voice. Louise was practically breathing down his neck. "Siesta... this... I'm not... This is a bad time..." he stuttered.
Siesta started to feel a bit faint all of a sudden. Odd. She really REALLY liked Saito... but she wasn't some dotty girl who swooned at the very sight of her loved one.
"I... I just... wanted to uh... a-apoligize about getting so... so..."
"Hey, are you alright," Saito asked, feeling her forhead. Louise noticed it too, and approached the two.
"He's right, you don't look very good. You should see a water mage."
"I-I really don't feel... I... oh..."
She fainted all of a sudden landing directly on top of Saito.
"HEY!" Louise yelled angrily. "Get off my... What in the!"
"SIESTA!" Saito shouted. She had gone intangible, and was fading away. "W-wait! Siesta! What's wrong with you!?"
Siesta came to, lying on the floor, feeling rather queasy. She looked up.
"Saito?"
It looked like Saito, but in strange red clothes. There was some chest armor that was dark red, with a rubber like orange body suit, and dark red gloves, boots, and shorts over the long pants.
"Nope. Names Ability Man sweet legs. Speeking of sweet legs, how far can your…"
"Shut up. Just SHUT UP! NO one wants to know what you're about to say."
Suddenly, Siesta was looking in a mirror. But instead of a maid outfit, she was wearing a black body suit.
"BEHOLD! MY EVIL GENIUS HAS GIVEN US SOMEONE FOR NIGHT-NAIL TO REPLACE, AND SPY ON THIS NEW WORLD! LONG LIVE V.U.V.A.C.W.D.!" declared Louise with a tiny telescope with a red lens over her eye, and various bits of metal clothes.
"Okay! You kidnapped a teenager! We GET IT! SHUT UP!" Ability Man said annoyed.
A crisis is coming! Evil alternate versions of the main characters from an alternate dimension! Also, if you want to suggest powers for the evil alternate versions that HAVEN'T appeared yet, feel free.