Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, the characters itself, and also Takaya-sensei. But I do own this random narrator guy out here, standing by my side and saying "Kumusta kayong lahat?" (How do you all do?). XD No flames, please.
"Furuba Randomness" by ella-and-aimi
Narrator: It's Kaibara High's summer vacation, and all of the students (except the student council who are so much busy with the paper work and stuff) are now hitting the beach while others are being comfy inside their own house, like for instance this orange-haired cat, busy knitting a... *peers over Kyo's shoulder, then gasps* ...what the! A big dump of crap-
Kyo: *cuts the Narrator off, is pissed right now, face flushing like red* IT'S NOT CRAP~! IT'S A MUFFLER~! AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER! GET OUT OR I'LL KICK YOUR STUPID ASS OFF~! *then sits down and continues his knitting, still pissed off* ...
Narrator: *scratches his chin, still peering over Kyo's shoulder, making a fuss* Hmmm... a muffler... *then, laughs a bit* ...!
Kyo: *still pissed, stares at the Narrator* Hey! What's so funny, huh?
Narrator: *still laughing and stops suddenly, in a serious tone* Nothing. That thing doesn't look like a muffler... seriously...
Kyo: *crosses his arms and stands face-to-face with the Narrator, still pissed... really* Oh yeah! Well, what does it look like to you?
Narrator: *still serious* A worn-up pair of pink leggings used by flamingoes from the wild rainforest in South America.
Kyo: *face looks blank now* Are you serious...? Flamingoes? In South America...?
Narrator: *still serious* ... *then smiles widely at Kyo* Sorry~! China-char-char kita~! (I'm kidding~!)
Kyo: *pisses off again, still staring at the Narrator* Wha...! "China-char-char kita"...? Chotto... are... are you a Filipino...?
Narrator: *now in a serious tone again, still looking at Kyo* Whad'dya ask? Is it obvious to you that I'm a Filipino, huh?
Kyo: *mind boggles a bit* Hek! N-no, that's not it... I saw many Filipinos roaming downtown... and some students who were studying in our school are also Filipino-
Yuki: *suddenly enters the [crime] scene, arms crossed* Who're you talking to, baka neko?
Kyo: *still in a pissed mood, now looking at Yuki* Wha-! W-w-where did you...! How-
Narrator: *walks beside Yuki, is now grinning widely, slowly observes Yuki* Ah~ So, what I heard from your fangirls in your school are right; *slowly bows before him, now in a mocking voice* you're the Great Prince of Kaibara High School, your Highness, Sohma Yuki-ojou-sama...
Kyo: *is now disgusted at the Narrator* Hora, Yuki... is this guy here also one of your fans at school...? Now that I think of it, that guy being your fan is so creepy~... it makes me shiver much...
Yuki: *looks at Kyo* I agree with you... but he isn't, sorry... *then, looks at the Narrator* ...demo... are you one of Shigure's friends from the publishing company?
Narrator: *smirks a little, winks at Yuki* Eh? Why...? Do I look like one, huh-
Tohru: *walks to where the three men are now, the backyard, is holding a tray full of cat-shaped onigiri and tea* Kyo-kun, I made some cat-shaped onigiri here!
Kyo & Yuki: *in unison, both looking at Tohru* Tohru-kun!
Narrator: *is happy?, gets an onigiri from the tray and some tea* Ah, thank you very much~! Itadakimasu~! *then eats it* ...
Tohru: *is shocked at the Narrator* Eh! But… that's, that's-!
Kyo & Yuki: *in unison, again, both pissed now* EH! (In Kyo's mind: Hey, you-! That's my onigiri you're eating with your filthy mouth…! While in Yuki's mind: You…!, and emits a dark aura around him)
Narrator: *finished polishing the last of the onigiri and tea* Hmm... *then, looks at Tohru* It's delicious! This is the best-tasting onigiri I have ever eaten in my whole life! So delicious… must've been the cat shape… *then, smiles at Tohru* …ne?
Tohru: *is now a little red* Ah...! *bows at the Narrator* T-thank you...
Kyo: *still can't believe it* What the... is that...?
Yuki: *the same as Kyo* That guy... I want to kill him by all means...
Narrator: *is now thinking* Now... what can I give to you as a token of appreciation, *smiles at Tohru* huh? Name it; I give you everything you like...!
Kyo & Yuki: *for the third time, in unison, very shocked at the Narrator* What! Everything she like!
Tohru: *embarrassed now, looks at the Narrator* Um, ano... mister, i-it's fine with me... Please...
Narrator: *now becomes a romantic person, slowly walks infront of Tohru, is grinning now (that's why Yuki wants to kill him... ^_^;)* But I want to give you my token of appreciation~! *then kisses her on the lips* !
Tohru: *is now blushing red* -!
Kyo & Yuki: *still shocked AND pissed, looks at both the Narrator and Tohru* GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Tohru~!
Tohru: *is now feeling a little dizzy, face still a shade of full red* ...oh no... *then faints* ...
Kyo & Yuki: *into the black* AH! TOHRU-KUN~!
This is my second Furuba fanfic and my first in years, I think, although it kinda looks like a rough draft—and short, too… But, please R-n-R~! arigatou gozaimashita, minna~! *then, bows*
~ ella-and-aimi ^_^ (aka i am aimi)