-1Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, but I better not see anybody taking my 'Human Formers' ideas or blood will spill. Okay, just kidding. But you know, really, stealing is wrong.

Author's Note: So, a little Halloween oneshot I conceived in Academy time aka the most pointless exercise in futility ever. And that's the nice thing I can say about it.

Anyway, this also introduces my movie-verse human formers idea. I may write a fic about it, but I don't know. If enough people ask, maybe I will.

So, enjoy this fluffy little sojourn. And as stated within at least twenty times, Happy Halloween everybody. Make sure to be extra nice to the witches and goblins tonight.

What Would They Be?

Bumblebee watched with curiosity as Sam dressed. He was donning a black cape and fake fangs. "Sam, what're you doing?"

Sam turned to his window with a smile. "I'm dressing up as Dracula. Me and Mikaela are going to the Halloween Dance."

"Halloween?"

"Halloween is a night that's devoted to scary stuff. You dress up in costumes and little kids go trick-or-treating. They go door to door to get candy. Of course, there's a lot of occult stuff too, but it's more known for the candy then the spells."

"Hum." Bee answered. He searched the internet to get more information. What he got made him smile mentally.


" . . . So, what do you think?"

Bee had just finished telling the recuperating Jazz about the holiday. The downed mech nodded. "Sounds like a plan lil man."

"And well, it made me think. What would all of be if we could dress up?"

"Good question. I'd definitely be Dracula. Human chicks seem to love vampires."

Bee laughed. "No wonder he was Sam's choice." Both mechs shared another laugh at "Ladiesman217"'s expense.

"So what bout chu?"

"I think I'd be Muhammad Ali." Bee did a couple of jabs. "Seeing as he is like, my number two idol."

"First being Prime?" Jazz asked playfully. "Speaking of, what do you think he'd be?"

Bee searched the web. "King Arthur."

Jazz laughed when he looked that up. "Yeah, King Arthur would fit him. Megs could even be Mordred if the bastard was still alive."

"Now it'd be Starscream though."

"Even better!"

"So what about Ratchet?"

Jazz mulled that over. "Dr. Frankenstein. Mad and reclusive. I think that fits."

Bumblebee laughed. "Yeah, and if Red Alert were here he could be Igor!"

Jazz chuckled too. "Ironhide would make a great Rambo."

"Rambo hunh? I remember Mikaela saying something about Ironhide being a cross between Stallone and Schwarzenegger when she saw the holo-form he adopted."

"I think that's actually what the old coot was shooting for."

"Probably!"

Both mechs dissolved into laughter. When the laughter subsided, Jazz got an idea. "Hey Bee, be a good lil mech and get me a stylus and pad would ja?"


Ironhide was enjoying his favorite pastime - cleaning his canons - when his computer registered an email. He called it up and checked who it was from. "Now, what's Jazz up to . . ."

When he opened it, he laughed. There he was in holo-form, dark hair all straggly and sweaty, holding a huge gun. The old mech laughed and then read the attached message.

If only we could go trick-or-treating! You'd get us all the candy at every stop! Maybe you should have gone with Annabelle and Lennox hunh? Well, Happy Halloween Rambo!

Jazz & Bee

Ironhide shook his head as he closed the email window, but he did set the drawing Jazz had done as his wallpaper.


Ratchet was quietly fixing a new component to help Jazz get feeling back in his legs when his own email dinged. He opened the email, but read the message first.

Hey, hey, hey, it's our favorite medic -

"I'm your only medic."

We were actually having an intelligent discussion, lol, when we got to thinking about the holiday that's today. We even downloaded a bunch of stuff on it. Well, we being the morons we are cared more about costumes.

"Why didn't I see that coming."

So, Happy Halloween Doctor Frankenstein.

Jazz & Bee

P.S. Jazz said 'Please don't hurt me!'

Ratchet opened up the picture file and promptly began to laugh. There he was in all his holo glory, buzz saw and bloody arm in hand.


Optimus was quite honestly lounging around when he got his. He opened up the mail, not sure about what he was receiving.

Long live King Arthur! Happy Halloween!

Jazz & Bee

Optimus frowned but opened the attached file. There his holo-form was, holding a large, ornate sword and a chalice. Unlike the other two, his was down with reverence, not humor.

The Autobot leader smiled. He downloaded information on this 'Halloween'. "Ah." he said. Then his got a twinkle in his optic. He pulled up the security feeds for the med bay.


"I'm still jealous of you Jazz."

"Well Bee, how bout you help relieve my boredom down here by coming by to have drawing lessons?" the downed mech offered.

"That'd be awesome!" the youngling answered just as he heard a familiar 'You've Got Mail!'.

Jazz frowned. He'd gotten one to. It was from Optimus.

"Uh oh. Is he reprimanding us?" Bee asked worriedly.

"Doubt it." Jazz opened his.

Fang you very much for the picture Jazz. I knew it was you since Bee can't draw a straight line.

Jazz burst out laughing.

"What? What did he say?"

Jazz chose to stay silent lest Optimus' teasing actually hurt the little mech's feelings.

Seriously, Happy Halloween to you too. Maybe next year, Osiris, Rafe, Brent, Issac, and Jackson can go trick-or-treating with Annabelle too.

Optimus

Bee finally opened his. He wanted to know what Jazz had found so hilarious.

Thank you for thinking of me youngling. Like I told Jazz, maybe next year we can plan on all going out. Sound good?

Happy Halloween, Optimus

Bee smiled. Then he noticed the attachment. He downloaded it, and then stared in awe. It was of his holo-form, Brent, dressed up as a boxer. Jazz's revealed him as Dracula with Maggie and Mikaela holding his arms. He laughed at the playful expression on his holo-form's face.

"You know Jazz, why don't I take lessons from Optimus? He's better then you."

"You take them from me because I'm the convalescent."

While both mechs were bantering, they both saved the pictures.