(A/N CAT FIGHT! Err, whatever it's called when a sexy Valkyrie and transformed dragon fight over poor Hiccup in the middle. Don't ask for a EPIC back story for why Toothtless a sexy Slytherin is what she is now, just think of the AllSpark making her transform. Had the idea when I was actually reading about some horny Toothless and submissive Hiccup. I'm just going to write a short idea I had while I was reading it. XD Don't ask for the title either! I'm hopeless… T_T
Disclaimer: I don't own HTTYD. The stupidity you're about to read is non-profit.
Toothless raised a newly acquired eyebrow. Her transformation change her all of her features, her hair was black with blue and black bangs hanging next to the both sides of her face, 36 24 36! An ideal body type for any sane man, and her teeth were smaller but still had her incisors sharp as always. Her eyes were still green but a deeper hue like Hiccup's own emeralds. Toothless, Silas nowadays since she transformed, was glaring at the only other female in the room. A certain blonde that assumed to that Hiccup was hers before Toothless even crashed down to the Village of Berk.
"Step down, now." Silas' eyes ignited with a determined fire. Determined to do whatever was necessary to shut any challengers for her mate down.
"Or what? You can't breath fire in this form can you?" Astrid Hofferson questioned, crossing her arms, smirking.
"Don't flatter yourself." Silas leaned back from her glare and flipped her lengthy black hair. "I don't need fire to take down a Neanderthal like you." Silas gave a toothy grin at Astrid's angry face.
"Excuse me?" Astrid seethed.
"You're excused. The door is over there." Silas pointed a pointy nail towards the exit of Hiccup's house.
"Don't let the door hit you on the way out then."
"Please, I the one that actually lives here. You just came barging in here trying to take my Hiccup away for your own perverted clutches."
"What? I just wanted him to fix my axe! Keep your own perverted mind out of this..." Astrid said that last part blushing a little, as if she's been found out. So what if she liked to see Hiccup slaving over a purposely broken axe, shirtless, sweating, shirtless!
"Yeah, said axe has been coming over here everyday needing to be fixed. An idiot can see that it's your ass that keeps coming back for Hiccup attention."
"You're one to talk. When you transformed all your dragon mass went directly to your ass! You're probably swaying it back to forth everyday in front of Hiccup!"
Oh snap! Hiccup thought. He was off to the side, thinking of how to diffuse the situation. But that last jab probably went to far. Though true, Hiccup wasn't complaining. Shoot, what's with all these nosebleeds today!
"Girrrrrrrl, you getting it now!" Silas said, taking off her earrings. Then she reached inside her shirt, one of my shirts that I let her borrow, to release her bindings. She took them off and threw them aside.
Hiccup jumped up and caught them, folding them up neatly and placing them up on the dining room table, which was actually the Round Table, behind him. Then turned back to the strange fight.
"Bring it on!" Astrid accepted the challenge, unbuckling her skull belt. Then she shimmied out of her skirt, also throwing it to the side.
Instead of Hiccup catching it to fold, Sir Raven flew in to catch it with his beak. He landed on the other side of the dining table. He draped Astrid skull shirt over his head.
"THE ORDER IS RESTORED!" Sir Raven screamed confirming the universe's status, sitting down next to the Round Table stroking his ascot and smoking his bubble cigar.
Hiccup did a military gun show to greet Sir Raven. Then skipped to the kitchen. After a few minutes he came back out with tea and sandwiches.
"Ah ha hah ha! Good show, jolly good show Hiccup!" Sir Raven thanked Hiccup for the refreshments. Then he picked up a small club sandwich, flicking his pinkie out politely as lightning struck outside. "Although, I fancy Fruit Loops at this time of day!"
"I prefer ungrateful roasted ravens at this time of the day! Any more statements from you, Sir Raven?" Hiccup shot a wicked grin at the pompous thunder chicken.
"Mother? Is that you?" Sir Raven asked Hiccup, but Hiccup was distracted by the fight. Sir Raven tuned in to the fight between the females.
"Take that!" Silas swept Astrid's legs from under her.
On that instant, Megatron blew up a hole in the ceiling and landed inside the Haddock household, guns blazing. He pointed his cannon towards Hiccup. "Are you LadiesMan217-" Megatron cut himself short as Astrid was not wearing her bottom bindings.
Hiccup, Sir Raven, and Megatron donned their sunglasses and said at the same time. "Dat Ass!"
When the moment passed, Megatron sat down and grabbed a sandwich with a cup of Jack Daniels Tea, his original mission forgotten. "Pass the soy sauce, Mofo."
Sir Raven passed it and looked back to the Mayweather Silas vs. whoever mayweather was fighting in said match Astrid. A pool of whip cream came out of no where and the fight continued as Yen Sid appeared and made it rain whip cream.
Porky Pig looked at you, the Readers. "Get you mind out of the gutter! Fucking horny teenagers!" He yelled at you before taking his seat at the Round Table.
Then the Hungry Games went on.
Astrid straddled Silas and tried drowning her in the whip cream, but her hands were too slippery and Astrid slipped and fell on top of Silas. With Silas struggling below and Astrid trying to sit up straight, it looked like provocative rubbing. The whip cream did nothing stop everyone's gutter thinking.
"Looks like things are starting to get interesting…" A mysterious voice spoke from the other end of the table.
Everybody sitting at the table turned around to see whom it was a the end of the table. None other than Samuria Jack himself!
Megatron bumped fist with him. "How'd you acquire a space bridge to get here, Jackie?"
Jack shook his head. "I didn't need a space bridge."
"Then how did you get here? By using the Bifrost?"
Jack shook his head. "No, jump good."
Everyone at the table nodded and bowed down to the epicness that is "jump good". Then they went back to the show.
Silas pushed Astrid off of her and tried getting up herself, only to fail just like Astrid.
"Ungh!" Astrid got her legs tangled with Silas' legs. She knew that trying to pull away from a tangled situation would only make it worse, so instead she pushed herself closer to Silas. Her whispering eye blinded by the whip cream everywhere then invaded by Silas' own.
The Annoying Orange made a brief appearance but was promptly squashed by Megatron's hand. Everyone looked at the Decepticon Leader for an explanation.
"Hell no. That much stupidity would kill us all the moment that fruit boy spoke."
Every nodded in agreement and looked back to the fight.
Silas was confused at why Astrid was in heat all the sudden but waved it off. Silas grew her wings out and trying flapping them to give her the air advantage but they were sticky and wouldn't work effectively. Silas huffed and crossed her arms over her sweet chest. She grabbed her right wing and started licking off the whip cream, slowly.
Gaara appeared and tried walking in through the front door, but Yen Sid stopped him. "You are too young, fool ya fool!"
"But I brought chocolate syrup." Indeed he did. Gaara handed the bottle to Yen Sid. Gaara was granted access and he walked in and took the second to last chair of the Round Table.
"Yen Sid began chanting the spell. "In Brightest Day, in blackest Night… No evil shall escape my sight… Let all who worship Evil's might… Beware my POWER, GREEN LANTERNS LIGHT!"
The bottle that was simply floating in the air above the girls imploded. Chocolate syrup splattered all over the walls and floor, completely missing the girls.
"Seriously?" Hiccup looked into a bottle that held the Black Pearl, the monkey face palmed. "The monkey could've done a better job!"
Yen Sid bowed his head in shame as he returned to his seat.
Gaara wiped the chocolate from his face and licked his hand. Nothing.
The door exploded and the crazy Chocolate Guy from Spongebob Squarepants screamed. "CHOCOLATE!"
"Dafuq?" Megatron asked.
The Chocolate Guy looked at the scene and was about to pounce on a puddle of chocolate in the corner of the room, but then he saw Astrid and Silas "fighting" and put up his middle finger, a Purity ring on it. "Sorry, maybe in my next Avatar reincarnation." Then he closed the door behind.
Equinox, the agent of order and chaos, beamed down in the middle of the table. "Remember kiddies… The mind is a horrible thing to lose!" I said, giving a Maito Gai-sensei thumbs-up. A "THE MORE YOU KNOW" sign exploded over EquinoxKnight01.
End.
(A/N Don't ask! I guess you could, and I would answer anyway. But come on, you knew this was a crazy crack story when you read the word "AllSpark"!