Karen and Chickenpox
It was Monday morning inthe Brockman house and everything was chaoctic as normal, Ben was attempting to Microwave some cornflakes to see what they turned out like.
'Ben, you can't put cornflakes in the microwave" pete told him as he turned off the microwave and took the bowl of cornflakes out.
"Why not?" Ben asked "because if you put cornflakes in the microwave then they won't go soggy if you poured the milk in the bowl after you put the cornflakes in the microwave."
"Because cornflakes are not suitable for microwaving now go and get your school bag, we're leaving in ten minutes" Pete told him just as a slightly annoyed Sue came walking into the kitchen and saying that karen was taking ages in the toilet.
"Well she better hurry up because we'll be leaving shortly" pete said "how long has she been in there for?"
"About half an hour, maybe forty five minutes" Sue suggested "I knocked on the door a couple of times but she said she wasn't ready." Pete then began to wonder what on earth she was doing in there to be in there for forty five minutes.
"Maybe she was sitting on the toilet and as she pulled the chain, possibly fell in the toilet and got flushed down and then travelled through the pipes and then ended up in the sewers and got eaten by crocodiles" Ben suggested.
"I highly doubt that Karen would have accidently flushed herself down the toilet and got eaten by crocodiles in the seswers" Pete told him. Just then, karen came walking into the kitchen, still in her pyjamas and she looked a little worried.
"Karen, why arn't you dressed, we're leaving in five minutes" Sue pointed out when she saw that her six year old was still in her night clothes.
"I'm not going to school today, I'm feeling sick" Karen pointed out "and I feel itchy all over." Sue walked over to Karen and felt her forehead.
"yeah you do feel abit hot" she pointed out.
"Also I woke up with these little red bump things on my arm and they're really itchy" Karen pointed out, rolling back her sleeve to reveal little red bumps running up her arm "are pimples meant to itch?"
'Darling, I don't think they're pimples" Sue told her as she rolled her sleeve back down " I think you might have Chickenpox."
"What's that?" karen asked.
"It's a condidtion that you get from being bitten by werechickens" Ben pointed out as he tossed a football up in the air.
"Werechickens?" Sue asked.
"yeah Werechickens, they're like werewovles, except they're chickens and every full moon, chickens turn into blood thirsty savages and they go into your room at night and peck you in your sleep and leave little red bumps all over your body oh and also you need to put some kind of lotion on the bumps because that stops you from turning into a chicken" Ben explained.
"I'm going to turn into a chicken?" karen asked in a scared voice 'I don't want to turn into a chicken because you'll probably keep me in the back garden and then cook me for christmas dinner."
"Don't be silly Karen, you're not going to turn into a chicken" Sue explained "and the lotion is to stop you from itching, not to stop you from turning into a chicken."
"Then you better go and get some then because i'm really itchy" Karen pointed out, itching her stomach but Sue told her not to scratch it so much because that could probably make it worse before telling her to go lie down on the settee while she had a talk with Pete.
"Mum are we going yet?" a rather impatient Jake asked as he stood waiting by the front door.
"Just a minute Jake because I need to have a word with your dad for a minute" Sue told him before taking Pete to one side and informing him that Karen had chickenpox and would possibly have to take a few days off school.
"Oh shit" pete muttered "well one of us is going to have to take the boys to school."
"Well i'll do it, you can stay here and look after karen" Sue suggested.
"Well I'm going to have to ring work up and say I can't come in" Pete said as he rifled through the drawers to find the phone number for the school he worked at whilst Sue went into the front room to tell karen that Pete was going to look after her for a couple of hours whilst she took Jake and ben to school then she was going to go down to the chemists to get some calomine lotion.
"Are you sure I won't turn into a Chicken?" Karen asked.
"I'm sure, You know what Ben's like. now you be good for Daddy okay" Sue told her, giving the six year old a hug.
"Hasn't daddy got to go to work today?" karen asked "because I can stay at home by myself if Daddy's got to go into work."
"I don't think that's a good idea Karen, it's against the law to leave a six year old at home on their own" Sue explained.
"Why not?" Karen asked.
"Because if someone found out that we left you at home by yourself then Mummy and Daddy could get into serious trouble" Sue explained just as Pete came into the room, informing Sue that Ben had driven the car halfway up the road.
"Oh bloody hell, what does he think he's doing?" Sue asked with a shocked expression on her face.
"Well he inisted on driving himself and Jake to school because he got bored of waiting for you apparently and he started driving the car but I told him to stop and now he's parked halfway up the road and I think you better hurry up and get to the car before he starts driving it again" Pete explained and Sue gave karen a quick peck on the cheek before hurrying out the door incase Ben decided to drive the car again.
"Okay i've taken the day of work so I can look after you whilst mummy takes the boys to school and then she's going to get you some lotion for your chickenpox" Pete explained as he pulled his little girl onto his lap.
"Daddy, have you ever had chickenpox?" Karen asked.
"yeah, I had it when I was about your age, about five or six" Pete replied "I caught it from one of the kids in my class."
"Ben said you get it from being pecked by werechickens and that the lotion is to stop you from turning into a chicken" Karen told him "if I did ever turn into a chicken, would you cook me for Christmas dinner?"
"Firstly you are not going to turn into a chicken because Ben is talking nonsense like always and secondly if you was to turn into a chicken, we wouldn't cook you for christmas dinner, we'd be too busy finding some potion to turn you back into Karen" Pete reassured her and this made Karen giggle a little but she still had so much to ask about Chickenpox like would she get it every now and again like you do with a cold but pete told her that you can only get Chickenpox once and it would be very rare to catch it a second time.
"So once these little bumps have gone, I won't get it again?" she asked.
"No you won't" Pete told her "we'll just keep putting the lotion on them and hopefully that will make them go away faster." A little while later, Pete brought karen's toy box downstairs because she was begining to complain so he fetched it down for her so she could sit on the sofa and play with her toys.
"karen, why did you spend ages in the toilet this morning?" Pete asked as she reinacted Deal or no deal with her teddies.
"Because when I went for a wee wee this morning, That was when I first saw them little red bumps and I was scared to come out incase I scared everybody"she explained, not looking up.
"You didn't need to be scared because me or mummy would have probably guessed that it was chicken pox straight away because I've had it, Mummy's had it, Jake's had it" he explained as Karen continued playing with her stuffed animals.
"And what about Ben?" she questioned "has he had them yet?"
"Actually no he hasn't had them yet" Pete replied and then karen said that if it could be passed on to other people then she wanted to gvie them to Ben because she didn't want them anymore and aslo for revenge for scaring her about the werechickens and chickenpox making you turn into a chicken.
"Well I think he'll probably might enjoy it because it would mean that he'll have to miss school for abit" Pete replied. After their little discussion about Ben and Chickenpox, Pete had nipped to the toilet and asked Karen to sit quietly until he came down down. She was now playing X factor with some of Ben's toy dinosaurs and her Barbies when she heard a knock at the door. She got up from the settee and looked out of the window to see two men in suits standing at the door and being the curious six year old that she was, she opened the door to them and they were both quite suprised to see a small child instead of an adult.
"Oh hello there, are your mummy and daddy home?" one of them asked. He was short and chubby with greyish brown hair and spoke in an irish accent.
"Well my mummy is out buying some lotion because I have chickenpox and my daddy is having a poo poo" Karen replied and the two men looked a little suprised at what she said about Pete but chose to ignore it.
"Well we are supporters of God and we were wondering if your mummy and daddy would also like to become supporters of God?" the second man asked and he too spoke with an Irish accent.
"I don't believe in God" karen pointed out.
"Oh surely you don't mean that little girl" the chubby man pointed out "God is everywhere, he is all around us and he is watching over everybody on this Earth."
"No he isn't everywhere because if God was everywhere you would probably see him walking down the street or doing his shopping in the Asda or taking baby Jesus to the park in his pushchair and i've never seen God in Asda or walking down the street or pushing baby jesus in a pram down the park so how can he be everywhere if I haven't seen him" Karen pointed out.
"It doesn't work like that" the chubby irish man replied "maybe we can wait for your daddy and we can talk to him about God."
"I don't think he will want to talk to you because he doesn't like stuff like that" karen said "maybe you should go try the old couple down the road because old people actually believe in God and they go to church so they'll be happy to talk about God and I'm getting bored of you two now so i'm shutting the door, goodbye." She then shut the door on them just as Pete had finished on the toilet.
"Who was that at the door?" he asked as he walked down the stairs.
"It was two men in suits and they wanted to talk to you or Mummy but I told them mummy was out and that you was having a poo poo" karen replied.
'Karen, I don't want complete strangers knowing what I'm doing on the toilet" pete told her in a slightly annoyed tone "what did they want anyway?"
"They started talking about God and about how he was everywhere and they started asking if your and mummy would like to become supporters of God" karen explained.
"Oh bloody jehovahs witnesses" Pete muttered "did they go away?"
"No I slammed the door on them" Karen replied as she became fidgety "also I feel itchy again but i'm not aloud to scratch them." Pete then had an idea and went into the kitchen as karen stood in the doorway, asking what he was doing.
"I'm going to find something that will stop you from Scratching" Pete replied. a few moments later, karen was sitting on the sofa again wearing a pair of oven mits on her hands to prevent her from scratching.
"Where is mummy with the lotion, she's been gone forever" the six year old girl complained "do you think she got lost?." Just then, Sue came rushing through the door and karen asked why she had been gone for ages.
"Oh silly mummy forgot to put more petrol in the car so the car broke down on the way to the chemists and I had to run all the way to the petrol station to get some then I went to the Chemists after" Sue explained getting the calomine lotion out "Okay Karen, do you want some on?"
"Yes because i'm really itchy and i'm starting to get the urge to scratch them" Karen replied so Sue took her up to the bathroom to put the lotion on.
"It feels cold" karen said as Sue rubbed some on her arms " are you sure this will stop me from itching because it's really annoying having them itch and not being able to scratch them."
"Yeah and this is the good stuff so it'll help" Sue replied "so what did you and daddy do today whilst I was out?"
"He told me that my chicken pox weren't going to turn me into a chicken and said you won't cook me for Christmas dinner if i did turn into a chicken and also I shut the door on some fans of God who wanted to make you and daddy fans of god too but I told them you wouldn't be interested and that god isn't everywhere like they claimed him to be so I told them to go away and shut the door on them" she explained.
"Well it sound like you had a pretty interesting day today" Sue pointed out after she finished putting the lotion on " now do you want to watch a little bit of telly whilst I make you something to eat."
"Mummy?" karen asked "seeing as I'm poorly, can I get a kitten because Tilly Jones got a Kitten when she was poorly and that cheered her up so I think a kitten will cheer me up too."
"Oh we can't have any pets at the moment darling" Sue told her "but i'll buy you a toy kitten and you can pretend that it's a real one."
"Okay" karen sighed. For the two weeks, karen was kept off school until her chicken pox had cleared up and once they had cleared up she came walking into the kitchen dressed in her school uniform.
"I'm so glad that they've cleared up because they were really bugging me" she pointed out.
"See I told you they would go away eventually" Pete told her.
"And are your sure I won't get them again because I don't want to wake up in a few months to see little red bumps on my arms again" Karen pointed out just as Ben came walking into the kitchen looking rather pleased.
"what are you grinning about?" Sue asked.
"I've got Chicken pox, how cool is that" Ben pointed out, showing them the little red bumps on his arm "now I don't have to go to school." Pete and Sue both groaned in despair as it was going to be another long two weeks.