It doesn't seem to her, aesthetically, that anything is wrong, because she supposes that nothing really is. She feels she has found her voice as of late, been able to voice her opinoins a little better and get things done. Perfect. Everything was perfect. Except the daily mind games she was playing with herself.
Being as it was, that she was no longer in high school and considerably less hormonal, she expected that she would be over such trivial matters as wondering about who liked her and who didn't. It hadn't stopped her; it should have stopped her, she felt, as she felt things were careening out of her control.
Feelings are tricky things for the mind to come to terms to. Her eyes, her mind, was irrevocably drawn to her employer, though she knew it was wrong, in a sense, to be with someone that much older than herself. But this wasn't going to stop her mind. It was drawn, it was made up, it was refusing to move on the mattter.
Figures he couldn't have cared either way. It was just another fun way to make fun of the girl who liked to play with the big boys. Pick, pick, pick. Tease, tease, tease. Her hatred for him was growing on a steady day to day basis. At the same time, she was still attracted, still wanted to make this work because that relationship was something that she was sure she could be in control of; something that she could predict.
She probably could have.
It was the relationship that she couldn't control that bothered her. The one that was a series of moments, good and bad, that were spontaneous. The time where mere fragments of character were captured instead of the whole. A mystery. One her mind could really care less for because it already had everything figured out. Cameron didn't like suprises and she didn't like to be beat at her own game.
It was her game, after all. She narrowed her eyes at Chase. Insignificant, snivelling Chase who felt the need to still give her that utterly hopeless look over morning coffee. Stupid, ridiculous, hopeful boy. And she would call him boy; he was in her eyes. He wished, she knew, for the Cameron who was still soft and quiet and didn't throw his words back in his face every time he said something.
So when she stopped feeling all unstable when House swaggered into the room and started feeling unstable when Chase meekly tumbled in, she felt it was time for a change. After all, the head may rule the heart.
Note: 'Tis old, but I liked it. :P