The Way We Are
Author's Note: I am fascinated by what goes on off screen in the Digimon universe, and Yamato and Takeru are my favorite Adventure characters. I started thinking of random scenarios as they might have happened in their lives, and then I decided it'd make a good series of oneshots. And here we are.
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. All place names are in fact real places, and I tried to make things as true to life as possible, based on my own experience of living in Tokyo for a year.
Chapter One: The Beginning of the End
Ishida Hiroaki met Takaishi Natsuko at a mixer event during their first year of university. At the time, Hiroaki had been dating another girl, but their relationship had ended soon after the event due to accusations that Hiroaki had been unfaithful. He had tried to insist that Natsuko was really just a friend, but he wasn't too disappointed to see the relationship end, and used his new spare time to hang out with his new friend more often.
Their friendship was easy, and their romance had developed naturally, without either giving much thought to the issue. How lucky they were to be dating their best friend, they both thought.
Their college years passed quickly, and both of them were overjoyed to find positions in their desired fields. Hiroaki began working at Fuji Television, at the time located in Shinjuku, and Natsuko began work as a reporter for Mainichi News. He asked her to marry him on their fifth anniversary, and she accepted, as he knew she would. Not much changed, except that the mail that came to their shared apartment in Hikarigaoka now said Ishida Natsuko instead of Takaishi.
They were content with their lives, as in love with their work as they were with each other. Neither felt any urge to change a thing.
Change came anyways.
Natsuko had been feeling ill for weeks, and often Hiroaki found himself waking up to the sound of her retching in the bathroom. When he came home from work one day, he found her already home and sitting primly on the couch, looking nervous.
An irrational feeling of dread crept upon Hiroaki. Something was wrong, but had hadn't a clue as to what it could be.
"Natsuko?" he ventured, worry staining his voice more than he had intended.
"Hiroaki... I went to the clinic today."
The dread became panic. Was she terminally ill? Had his smoking habit given her cancer, like she often joked it might?
But his wife was oblivious to his racing thoughts and continued. "Hiroaki... I know we never talked about it before, but how do you feel about kids?"
Hiroaki stared at Natsuko as though she had asked him how he felt about mass murder. What the hell did kids have to do with anything? He tried to appear nonchalant as he shrugged. "I never had siblings. I don't know a whole lot about kids."
It didn't seem to be the answer she was looking for, because his wife let out an annoyed sigh and fixed him with a nervous stare. "Hiroaki," she started again, "I'm pregnant."
He took a second to process the information. The first thing that hit him was shock, a viscous wave of liquid ice through his system. Pregnant? He felt irrationally guilty. They should have probably considered the risk of unexpected pregnancy before having spontaneous romantic moments. Pregnant? That meant babies. He had no idea what to do with a baby. Pregnant? But that meant...
"I'm going to be a father?" he asked stupidly, staring at his wife, feeling slightly sick from the strange war between guilt, relief, dread, and joy that seemed to be happening in his stomach.
"Well, yes, that's normally what that means..." Now Natsuko just sounded exasperated. Hiroaki noted to himself that a pregnant Natsuko was an irritable Natsuko. But that was unimportant, to be filed away for later reference. What was important was...
"That's... This is wonderful!" Finally, joy won the battle for Hiroaki's feelings, and with a face-splitting grin, he joined his wife on the couch. He clasped her hand and she returned his grip, palms sweaty and shaky. She seemed surprised, but relieved.
"I wasn't sure how you'd react. Neither of us really planned for this..." she started, looking away, if only to hide her relief.
"So what? We don't need to plan this; sometimes life justgives us good things as surprises." It sounded cheesy, but Hiroaki was far to ebullient to care. He was finding himself more excited about this new change in his life the more he thought about it.
They embraced, and decided to celebrate the news with a late dinner out. Natsuko hadn't cooked anything in her nervousness about Hiroaki's reaction.
"We could go to that sushi restaurant down the street," Hiroaki suggested.
"No raw fish," his wife reminded him.
"Oh. Or we could just go somewhere nice, share a bottle of wine..."
"No alcohol either, Hiroaki," was the exasperated response.
He paused. It suddenly occurred to him that he knew absolutely nothing about how any of this worked. He was the only child of only children, and had never much been exposed to pregnant women before.
"I'm just gonna let you take the lead on this one, honey," he declared after a moment. For the first time all evening, Natsuko grinned.
"Now, that's the spirit. I can boss you around! Let's go eat yakiniku; suddenly I really want beef..."
And so they grabbed their coats and headed out for the first night of their new lives.
The baby came in late December, after a panic-inducing phone call to Hiroaki at work saying that his wife had gone into labor. He begged with his superiors to be allowed to go, and they granted it only because he was a hard worker who took more overtime than the other members of his division.
He arrived back to Hikarigaoka in record time and sprinted to the hospital from the station, foregoing taxi cabs and the bicycle he left at the station that morning. He made it to the hospital just in time for the worst of labor to begin, and was therefore admitted into Natsuko's room with her.
He would later regret that he hadn't been just four and a half hours later. Watching his wife give birth was a simultaneously terrifying and vomit-inducing experience, and he hoped he would never have to experience it again. He would've told Natsuko such, but then the nurse handed him his baby-his son-and his thoughts melted away as he gazed at the tiny face for the first time.
"He looks just like you," Hiroaki murmured hours later, watching his wife attempt to feed the fussy infant. Natsuko only smiled tiredly and continued to watch their son.
Their son. Yamato. Hiroaki had never been more proud.
Yamato threw a wrench into their routine as they knew it, but Hiroaki didn't mind very much. He now woke up in the morning not to the sound of Natsuko getting ready for work, but usually to the sounds of a fussy baby who seemed to want to eat more times a day than Hiroaki thought strictly necessary.
Time passed, and as Yamato grew, the biological alarm clock of the Ishida household changed tunes from insistent screeches to laughter, playtime, and sometimes singing. For a two year old, Yamato had a fairly good voice.
Then one warm day in September, Hiroaki awoke to something entirely unexpected.
"Mama?"
Yamato sounded strangely serious. He had oddly pensive moments for a toddler, but they usually came when he was tired, right before the cranky stage. Before Hiroaki could ponder this any further, he heard a sound from the bathroom that hadn't roused him in three years: Natsuko retching.
Normally slow to wake, he found himself on his feet and in the bathroom before he realized it.
"Natsuko?" Hiroaki tried to hide the concern in his voice, because he was convinced that no father should show weakness in front of his son.
"I'm okay... Maybe something I ate," came the weak reply. "Can you get Yamato's breakfast?"
If he hadn't been fully awake yet, the panic that jolted through his system at the seemingly innocent question finished the job. Make breakfast? For Yamato? The boy wore most of what was put in front of him already; how the hell was he supposed to make breakfast?
Hiroaki responded the only way he knew how. "Of course," he said weakly, and led his son away by the hand.
Breakfast that morning consisted of burnt toast and increasingly fantastical answers to the incessant question, "Why is Papa making breakfast instead of Mama?". It was in no way satisfying for either Hiroaki or Yamato, based on the amount of crumbs that somehow managed to infiltrate every corner of the small kitchenette. But by the time Natsuko emerged from the bathroom, there was no time for him to eat anything more nutritious before he needed to leave for work, so he made due and ate an extra large lunch that day.
When the mysterious retching and unsatisfying breakfasts continued, and Yamato stopped wondering why Mama wasn't cooking breakfast and simply accepted his fate of mediocre food, Hiroaki convinced his wife to take a trip to the clinic.
"I'll try to get home early today, okay? So let me know how it goes," he said, ruffling Yamato's unruly blond curls on his way out the door.
Unfortunately, work that day was hectic and relentless. Hiroaki had recently heard that his direct superior would be retiring within the next five years, and he was trying as hard as he could to make himself the ideal candidate for a promotion to Director. His resolve kept him at the television station until well after dark most days, and he only remembered his promise once he was on the subway heading home.
The sight that greeted him as he rushed through the door did not seem as forgiving as he had hoped. Neither he nor Natsuko had ever opposed the idea of waiting up for the other to get home from work, but after Yamato was born, Natsuko went to bed earlier and Hiroaki usually returned well into their sleep schedules. That his wife was currently sitting on the couch, well after ten in the evening, very much awake, gave him a bad feeling. That her arms and legs were crossed gave him dread.
"So much for getting home early," she greeted. She was definitely upset.
"I meant to," he defended weakly. "Things just got busy; I'm really sorry, I know this is later than usual..."
"Good to know at least Fuji Television can rely on you," she muttered, looking away.
The comment was searing. "I... Look, I'm sorry," he started dumbly. Something was wrong. "I came home late just once; I can't say it won't happen again, but I'm trying to work on the future," he stammered in his defense, unable to shake the feeling that this was about more than his blunder.
"Well, the future might come sooner than you think," was the tart retort. Natsuko still wasn't looking at him.
"What are you talking about?" Hiroaki gave up. He was too tired to play mind games.
"I'm pregnant," she announced, after a pause. Somehow, the words sounded strange, and almost wrong. No, not wrong. Just different from the last time he had heard them. Different in a way that felt wrong. Natsuko didn't sound nervous or excited, she sounded... He couldn't place it.
"...Oh," was his delayed response. He slowly set down his briefcase and cautiously approached his wife. She seemed... He couldn't explain it. Edgy.
"Well," he said again, taking time to let the strangely nostalgic mix of emotions swirl in his gut once again. "Why is that a bad thing? Yamato would love to have a sibling," he ventured. As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt it to be true, and he started to feel that familiar, visceral joy he always experienced when he thought of his son. And now he wouldn't just have a son, he'd have children. Plural. Another baby. A growing family.
"I don't know what to do, Hiroaki," Natsuko said suddenly. The words popped the bubble of warmth that had started to cautiously form inside of him. She continued, leaning forward and holding her head in her hands. "This really isn't the best timing. I wanted to go back to work in April, once Yamato started pre-school, and now I won't be able to, and it's just perfect irony, because the baby is due in April anyways, and this just..."
Hiroaki cut off his wife's rant by slinging an arm around her hunched shoulders and leaning into her. "Hey," he said gently. "This isn't a bad thing. Don't worry about going back to work; we're doing just fine. We saved a lot of money before Yamato was born and we're still saving some now. It's okay, honestly," he soothed.
Unfortunately, his words seemed to have the opposite effect of his intentions. Natsuko threw his arm off of her angrily and stood up so that she could look down on him.
"Oh, it's easy for you to say that!" Anger made her voice shaky, and there were tears in her eyes. "You, with the big-shot dreams of promotion! You haven't had to sacrifice your career for this family; who the hell are you to tell me that it's okay that I don't go back to work? I wanted to work!"
Natsuko spoke with a low voice, mindful of Yamato slumbering in the next room, but Hiroaki was as stunned as if she had screamed at him. He said nothing for a moment, mind reeling.
"Natsuko... Sometimes..." he said finally, and then paused, trying to find the right words. "There will be time for everything later," he insisted. "We're still young. You don't need to rush. We'll just take it one thing at a time, and right now..." he stood up and hesitantly embraced his wife. This time she didn't pull away.
Gaining confidence, he put his hand on her belly, in between them. "Right now, this is the most important thing. Not work." He was confident in this. He pulled away just enough to look at her face.
Natsuko looked like she wanted to argue more, but instead she sighed. "I guess," she conceded reluctantly. "I just need to... Get used to the idea. I was really looking forward to April, that's all. Let's go to bed." And the topic was closed. She flashed him a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. He watched her for a moment longer before nodding. He took a quick bath, and they went to bed together for the first time in weeks.
Hiroaki was exhausted, but sleep wouldn't come. He could tell that Natsuko wasn't sleeping either, but neither said a word. For the first time in his married life, he felt as though there was something unresolved between them. He didn't like the feeling one bit.
Natsuko took longer to warm to the child growing inside of her this time, and even though Hiroaki found himself spending more and more time at work, it was obvious. It wasn't until she was nearly seven months along that she started to show any excitement at all, and he wondered if that was only because Yamato, who was by far the most enthusiastic of them all, was starting to rub off on her.
"I was thinking," she said one Sunday afternoon at dinner, "about names."
"What were you thinking?" Hiroaki asked between bites of stew. An arm's breadth away, Yamato was amusing himself by mashing his potatoes and carrots.
"Well, Yamato's name has eight strokes and three syllables, and I like the number three, and you like the number eight," Natsuko started. Already finished with her food, she stood up, whisked her and Yamato's plates away, and returned with a pen and some scrap paper.
Yamato, deprived of his amusement for the time being, watched her intently. "Yama-chan's name?" he repeated eagerly, staring at the pen in her hands.
She smiled benevolently at the three year old. "Yama-chan's name," she confirmed, and then carefully wrote the kanji. "See? Eight strokes, and then," she wrote out the phonetic characters. "Three syllables."
"Okay," Hiroaki replied patiently. He already knew this about Yamato's name. "So you want to keep the theme?"
"Right, and so I started looking up some names, and I found one that I like," she said quickly, excited. She pulled the paper to herself and wrote another character, and another phonetic reading beneath it. When she was done, she pushed the paper back to Hiroaki, smoothly avoiding Yamato's attempted grab for the pen.
Hiroaki looked at it. "Takeru?" He thought about it for a moment, rolling it around his mind and trying to connect it with the bulge in his wife's stomach. Ishida Takeru did have a nice ring. And plus... "Yamato and Takeru. Like the legend?"
Natsuko looked confused, and then surprised. "I hadn't even thought of that!" she laughed. "It fits even better than I thought."
"How do you know you're having another boy?"
"I just know," she replied loftily, leaning towards Yamato to give him the pen and paper. He had started whining sometime through their discussion, but Hiroaki was getting very good at blocking out toddler temper tantrums.
"There are some things you just know," Natsuko repeated, watchful eyes on Yamato, who was now scribbling over his own name with the enthusiasm only a three year old could have.
"Well," Hiroaki announced, standing up to take care of the dishes, "I like it."
Takeru took them by surprise on a rainy Saturday afternoon late in March. Hiroaki, who normally had to go into work on Saturdays, surprisingly had the day off. The weather was too miserable to celebrate the occasion with a family outing, so they decided to curl up and watch movies with Yamato instead.
Yamato sat in between his parents, resting his head on Natsuko's heavily pregnant stomach. Since his parents had informed him that he would be getting a baby brother named Takeru, the toddler had been fascinated. As Natsuko's stomach grew, Yamato had become more clingy, always trying to touch her stomach and make some connection with the growing baby inside.
The movie they had popped into the VCR was age-appropriate, which meant that Hiroaki was extremely bored. He sat with his arm over the back of the couch, fingers brushing the back of his wife's neck, with his other arm curled loosely around his son. Suddenly, he felt Natsuko stiffen and then gasp, and he turned his head from the cartoons on screen in alarm.
Natsuko's face was screwed up in pain, and Yamato had jumped off of her immediately. Hiroaki felt a tug at his arm, and reluctantly looked down into Yamato's impossibly wide, blue eyes. "Takeru's moving," the toddler murmured in awe, and moved to put his ear back to his mother's stomach.
Hiroaki had an awful feeling that Takeru moving was not something to be so excited about, and pulled his squirming son back. "Natsuko?" he asked.
Natsuko looked up, her eyes clouded in pain, alarm, but also understanding. "I think," she said slowly, deliberately. "We need to head to the hospital."
"Now?" Hiroaki responded, jumping up with Yamato still in his arms. "It's too soon. You're due April 20th!"
"Takeru's coming!" Yamato cheered, oblivious to the gravity of the situation.
Natsuko remained surprisingly calm, although Hiroaki knew by the way she forced her face into a smile that she was also worried. "Yes, baby, Takeru's coming. Why don't you and Papa go next door? I think there's another little boy around your age there. You can play with him while Mama goes to the hospital, okay?" she said soothingly, looking at her husband the whole time.
Hiroaki got the message, and with a cursory hesitance-he certainly didn't want to leave Natsuko alone, even for a moment-he put his shoes on and raced next door. Yamato, sensing his father's urgency, became quiet as his father knocked on the door.
A brunette woman answered, looking at the odd pair curiously. "Yes?"
"Hi, I'm sorry to bother you right now, but my wife-oh, we're your neighbors, by the way, my name is Ishida-my wife, she's going into labor, and this is really unexpected, and I'm terribly sorry, but could you please watch Yamato-this is Yamato, by the way-could you watch him while we go to the hospital?"
Hiroaki's mouth was moving before his brain had time to catch up. He could only hope the poor woman understood him.
There was an agonizingly long moment where the brunette did nothing but blink at him. Then she processed the information and sprung into action. "Oh, wow, labor, that's exciting! Um, yes, absolutely! Hello, Yamato, you can call me Yuuko!" she tittered, taking the blonde toddler from his father. Yamato stared at Hiroaki in horror.
"I wanna go to the hospital! Takeru's coming!" he yelled, tears welling up in his eyes.
It broke Hiroaki's heart to leave him there, but he couldn't take Yamato with them for something like this. Why hadn't they thought about that sooner? Thanking the woman profusely, he ran back to his own apartment before she even had a chance to shut the door.
He was on the phone with a taxi company while Natsuko grabbed a few essentials in between contractions, and within moments they were speeding towards the same hospital they had brought Yamato home from exactly three years and three months ago.
Yamato was full-blown sobbing by the time Yagami Yuuko set him down inside the apartment. "Now, it's okay Yamato-kun," she soothed. "Mama and Takeru are going to be just fine! Why don't I go find Taichi? You and Taichi can play together until Papa comes back for you, okay?" she said cheerfully.
Yamato didn't look excited about it, but he did stop crying. He was still upset, and it showed, but Yuuko ignored that and led him from the hallway passed the kitchen and into the living room.
"Taichi! You have a friend over," she announced. A small brunette immediately jumped away from where he was messing with an infant in a bouncer and came over to his mother.
"Taichi!" she scolded. "Were you messing with your sister again? I told you to let her sleep! Babies sleep!"
"Baby sleeping!" Taichi told her, unhelpfully. Then he turned his attention on the newcomer. "Who're you?" he asked.
"This is Yamato-kun," his mother introduced. "He's going to stay with us for a little while until his parents come home, okay?"
The three year old shrugged. "'Kay! Wanna go play?"
Yamato didn't move. He was looking over Taichi's shoulder and into the living room. With the hand that Yuuko wasn't holding, he pointed to the sleeping infant. "Baby?" he asked.
"Yes, that's Hikari, Taichi's sister," Yuuko explained. "But she's sleeping right now."
Yamato ignored her and slipped into the room. All he knew about babies was that Takeru was a baby. Takeru lived inside Mama's belly, so that's where he assumed all babies lived. This was a baby that he could actually see, and he was fascinated.
After a while, Taichi convinced Yamato to play with him, but Yamato continued to wander over to the sleeping infant in the corner. This was what Takeru was going to look like, he thought. Babies were small.
"Are you excited to meet Takeru?"
Yamato jumped, looking at Yuuko guiltily. He was supposed to be hiding while Taichi counted to one hundred, but it was taking a while. Probably because Taichi couldn't count to one hundred. When he saw that Yuuko wasn't going to scold him, he nodded.
"That means you're going to be a big brother!" she exclaimed with a smile. "Do you know what that means?"
Yamato shook his head, blue eyes serious and searching her face for the answer.
"It means that you're going to have to protect your brother. That's what big brothers do, okay?"
Yamato continued to stare at her. From the other room, Taichi shouted, "I'm coming, Yamato-kun!"
Before he got up to hide, he nodded enthusiastically at Yuuko. He continued to play the game, but now seemed more enthusiastic than before, and didn't feel the need to hover over the sleeping Hikari.
He was going to have his own baby to watch over soon enough.
When they arrived at the hospital, Natsuko was immediately carted away from Hiroaki. He initially spent the time pacing and waiting for news, but once the adrenaline rush faded, he realized he had things to take care of.
First he used the payphone at the hospital to call his mother in Shimane and inform her that the baby was on its way. Delighted, she told him that she would be on the next train to Tokyo to help out with Yamato. With that taken care of, Hiroaki went searching for a place to have a cigarette.
He saw a sign for a smoking room and gratefully made his way towards it. While smoking, he let his mind drift to what their household would be like now that Takeru was here. It would be a little cramped... He tossed around the idea of moving into a larger apartment. Their current one only had one bedroom.
Putting out his cigarette, Hiroaki made his way back, only to find that the doctors were looking for him. Everything was fine, and they were ready to begin delivery.
For the second time in his life, Hiroaki found himself holding his wife's hand as she did the work. He thought back to three years ago, when he vowed that he would never witness this again, and would have laughed, except the at the exact moment he opened his mouth, he heard the distinct cry of an infant, and let out a breath of air instead.
His son. Takeru. He had only been this proud once before in his life.
Takeru was tiny. Tinier than he remembered Yamato being, but the doctors explained that it was just because he was born early. Nothing was wrong with him, but he was small and Hiroaki felt positive that he would break if he so much as touched his son wrong.
The weeks that followed were hectic and disorganized. Hiroaki was not able to take time off of work, but his mother had arrived from Shimane the morning after Takeru was born, and she had been a tremendous help. Yamato started pre-school only two weeks later, and so Natsuko had some much-needed time during the day to focus on the baby and then herself when the infant slept.
Once everything settled down, an all-too-familiar routine reformed. He once again awoke to the cries of a fussy infant in the morning, usually accompanied by the patter of Yamato's feet as he ran to try and tend to his brother.
They hadn't been entirely sure how Yamato would react to Takeru. They knew how excited he had been about the idea of a baby, but neither were positive how chipper he would remain when he saw how much of his mother's time an infant would take. The three year old astonished them both with his attachment to his brother. He never got into trouble when Natsuko was busy with Takeru, because he never left the infant's side.
As the baby grew, it became obvious that Yamato's adoration was reciprocated in full. According to Natsuko, Takeru would cry when his brother left for school, and screech with glee when he returned. When the other fathers in his division asked Hiroaki if his sons loved him or their mother more, he sheepishly shook his head. Yamato's favorite person was Takeru, and Takeru's favorite person was Yamato.
He had never felt more complete in his life. His work was going well, and his family was growing into itself beautifully. His sons loved each other, and Yamato was doing well at school.
That Natsuko didn't find the same satisfaction he was finding in the way their lives had become didn't become apparent to him for years. But at that moment, Hiroaki was sure that his life was perfect, and that he wouldn't have it any other way.
Ending Notes: I don't know how many people read these kinds of things... But just a few things! I know that we don't actually know what Yamato's kanji name is. But I'm sure that he has one, because it makes no sense that his brother would have one if he didn't. So I decided after some deliberation that it'd be pretty cool if it were 和, because, as mentioned above, it has the same number of strokes as Takeru's kanji (岳).
Also, I think the second half of this is a little rushed, but I got really excited to finish this and get it out there, so let me know what you think! I am highly motivated for this story, so I should be updating regularly.
Also also, I know that the Ishidas don't live near the Yagamis in the canon... I'll fix it, you'll see! I just really wanted that scene.