Title: Christmas at Hogwarts
Rating: K+
Genres: Romance, Angst
Warnings: Slash, mention of suicide
Summary: Harry is left at Hogwarts alone and ends up spending the holidays with the most unlikely person.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. Everything else goes to J.K Rowling.
Harry felt very alone as he wandered the halls of Hogwarts. It was after curfew but he wasn't bothering to be careful. Earlier today his friends had boarded the Hogwarts Express and went home for the holidays. He didn't want to go back to Grimmauld Place; not with memories of Sirius being there. So, he decided to stay at Hogwarts, but he hadn't realized he would feel so alone, until now.
He was just walking past the library when a very familiar voice stopped him.
"POTTER!"
Harry turned around and came face-to-face with Snape. "Yes professor?"
"What are you doing out after curfew?" he sneered.
"I couldn't sleep." That was definitely the truth. He was plagued with nightmares and many of them were about Sirius' death.
"Ten points from Gryffindor and detention tomorrow after breakfast for being out after curfew. Now get to bed!" barked Snape.
Harry didn't bother arguing and just made his way up to Gryffindor Tower. He took his shoes off once he was in his dorm and lay on his bed. He soon fell asleep, his dreams filled with a certain black-haired professor.
When Harry woke up in the morning, he felt well rested and very confused. Why did I have a dream about Snape hugging me? And why did I feel so safe in the Potion Master's arms? Shaking his head, he got out of bed and got dressed for the day.
He entered the Great Hall and his eyes immediately sought out Snape. Their eyes met for a few seconds then Harry quickly looked away. He spent the rest of breakfast sitting alone and not looking up. When he finished though, he did look up and found that Snape was not there. He sighed and made his way to the dungeons for detention.
By the time it was lunch, he had cleaned every single dirty cauldron. He decided to skip lunch and went outside instead. He sat down on one of the benches by the lake and thought about the dream he had. He just could not understand why he was dreaming about Snape. Maybe I feel so lonely that I just long for someone to hold me.
When the sun started going down, he headed back inside and went to the Great Hall for dinner. He ate very little then headed for his dorm, not noticing a pair of eyes watching him. He entered the common room and headed to the boys' dorm, intent on sleeping, but sleep just would not come. So, he got up and left the tower.
He wandered the halls for a bit then went to the Astronomy Tower. He sat and stared up at the sky, letting the cold wind dance across his skin. Everything was just so peaceful and relaxing up here. Soon enough, he started to fall asleep and dream about being back in those strong, safe arms.
When he woke up, it was still dark out and had gotten freezing cold. He stood up and started making his way back to Gryffindor Tower. He was halfway there when he was stopped by Snape.
"Potter, what are you doing out of bed again?" Snape growled.
Harry couldn't answer him because something was very wrong. He began to feel light-headed and dizzy. Black spots danced across his vision. He managed to make eye contact with Snape before passing out.
Harry could hear voices, but he could not make out what they were saying. His eyes fluttered open and met the brightness of the Hospital Wing. There was also a pile of presents at the foot of his bed. The voices stopped and he could see Madame Pomfrey bustling over to him.
"It's good to see you awake dear," she said. "You had a fever, but it seems to be gone now."
She checked his vitals and handed him a potion. He took the potion then handed the phial back to her.
"You can open your presents then leave," she told him. She walked off leaving Harry alone.
He reached for the presents and started opening them. From Ron, he received a book on Quidditch. Hermione sent him a box of Chocolate Frogs and Every Flavored Beans. Hagrid gave him another photo album, this time with pictures of him and friends during their first five years and pictures of Sirius and the Order of the Phoenix. Mrs. Weasley sent him a sweater and some fudge.
Bill and Charlie both sent him books about the Egyptian and Romanian magical communities. The twins gave him prank products. Neville gave him a book on plants and Luna got him a subscription to the Quibbler. Remus sent him the Marauders' prank journal. He opened the last present and gasped. Inside the box were several things, a journal with his mother's name on it, a locket, several photos, and few books. All of it belonged to his mother. He picked up the note and read it.
Your mother and I were best friends. She gave me these things before she went into hiding. She said if anything were to happen, I was to give these to you when I felt that you were ready to have them.
-S.S
Harry immediately recognized the initials. They were Snape's. Thinking of Snape made him remember his newest dream. Now, whenever he was being held by the man he was also being kissed by him. And the craziest thing was that he liked being kissed by Snape.
Whenever he dreamed of being kissed and held by him, he felt loved, safe, and calm. He felt like just staying there and never waking up. That's when it occurred to him that he was falling for Snape!
He gathered up his presents and quickly made his way to the dorm. He put everything in his trunk and got dressed then headed to the dungeons. He didn't have a clue what he was going to do, but he just wanted to be near Snape. He stopped in front of the door to Snape's private quarters and knocked.
"Come in."
Harry opened the door and walked inside. The room looked very warm and comfortable. Snape was sitting on the sofa grading papers.
"Was there something you needed Mr. Potter?"
"I-I just wanted to thank you for the present."
Snape looked up at him. "We need to talk about your late night wanderings."
Harry walked over and sat next to him. He stared at his hands in his lap, thinking about what he should say. "I constantly have nightmares about Sirius and it keeps me from sleeping."
"Is there anything else that keeps you from sleep?"
"I feel so alone all the time, even when I'm with my friends. It hurts so much that I just want to end it all." Harry had no clue why he was telling Snape all this, but he just didn't care anymore.
The silence seemed to last forever. He had just confessed contemplating suicide to the man he was having dreams about. He could feel his heart ache at the thought of how alone he felt. He couldn't stop the tears from spilling over and curled up in a ball. His heart just ached so much and felt heavy.
He felt arms wrap around him, the same arms that he had been dreaming about. He uncurled from his ball and looked up into the face of his professor. "Why are you comforting me? I thought you hated me?"
"I can't hate you when you're like this," he said in a calming voice. "Besides, if I'm honest with you, I never hated you. I had to pretend to hate you to keep you safe."
Harry had stopped crying now and just stared. "Y-you really don't hate me?"
"No, I don't hate you. Here take this." Severus handed him a tissue and he wiped his face off. "Now, look at me."
Harry looked back up at Severus. There was something in the man's eyes but he couldn't tell what it was.
"I want you to do something for me. If you ever feel like cutting yourself or anything like that, I want you to come straight to me."
Harry nodded his head then slowly laid it on Snape's shoulder. "I feel exhausted."
"Then you can take a nap here." Severus let go of him and he lay down. Soon enough he was falling asleep and dreaming of being loved by Severus.
There were only two days of break left and then his friends would be back. Ever since Christmas day, he had spent time with Severus in his private quarters. During that time, he had fallen in love with the snarky man. Today was the day he would confess his feelings. He knocked on the door then went inside.
Severus looked up from his book once Harry was sitting next to him. "I thought you were not coming until later."
"I know, but there's something I need to tell you." His stomach was filled with nervous knots. He couldn't believe he was actually going to do this.
"What is it?" Severus asked, putting his book down.
Harry's breathing became shaky. He wasn't so sure he could do this. Severus must've sensed his distress because he was suddenly being held close to the man. He remembered the saying 'actions speak louder than words' and locked eyes with Severus. Then he slowly leaned forward, stopping just before their lips met, giving Severus the chance to back away. Instead, Severus closed the distance and their lips met in a soft kiss.
Severus was holding on to Harry tightly now and deepening the kiss. Harry whimpered as Severus nipped his bottom lip before pulling away.
"What is it you wanted to tell me?" asked Severus breathlessly.
"I love you Sev," Harry whispered.
"I love you too Harry." Severus kissed him again.
From then on, Harry never felt alone again.
A/N: I hope you liked it. This was supposed to be posted before Christmas but I didn't get it done until after.