Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight because the world sucks!
EPOV
Here I sit by myself in a dark cabin. They say ignorance is bliss, I say it's Hell. Any activity that I had had even after my so called "rebirth" had diminished into nothing. It had been two months since I'd seen Bella, heard her voice or sniffed her scent. There was a dead numbness in my veins now and nothing could fill it. Over the weeks I had spent with my family, I had noticed that they too had become as depressed as I was. Whether that was due to Jasper's inability to change any emotion was a mystery to me. What was not, however was that I had made an indescribable mistake and I would do anything in my power or other wise to erase it and fix it. This I knew I could not do. The damage was done and repair seemed impossible. Even if I did go back to her now, what would she think?
I had left her; told her she was nothing when it was all a lie. I felt almost frustrated. The one time that I wanted her to fight back and be stubborn she didn't! I had counted on that so much. Counted on her not believing a word I said so that I'd have to bring her with me and never have Bella leave my side again yet…she gave up. It was like my words had drained her of all life.
I laughed, but what I laughed at wasn't funny. I had drained her in a sense. Bella brought the subject up while she was on the hospital. I winced at the memory. How could she ask me to do that? Why would she?
"Because she loves you asshole!" Lately, I'd been having conversations with myself due to the fact that I had ostracized myself from my family.
"Nope. You've got it wrong. If- no, there was never an 'if' about the love Bella and I used to share."
"My God Edward! Are you that blind, really? Bella is probably pinning away. She'll be doing better than you though." I stopped then and concentrated on the life around me.
Ooops! In forgot. In my quest to wallow in my own self-pity, I sought out no human life. Even the wildlife that thrived in South Africa seemed scarce.
"You are an asshole." A thought other than mine rang out. Immediately, I jumped off of the cabin floor and walked outside. The sun was starting to go down. I tried to catch a scent of South Africa. Very faint in the wind I heard a twinkling laughter. Was it possible for a vampire to go insane? I would think so.
For several hours., that laugh would sail on the wind randomly. A few times I would think Bella was laughing and smile at the thought.
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