Warnings: Yaoi (Xemnas/Saix), Death, and mention of rape.
Due to some confusion among my beta readers, I am including an author's note: Xemnas's memory of observing Xehanort abuse his nephew is corrupted because Xemnas believes his Somebody is Ansem the Wise. In reality, it was he who attacked Ansem's nephew.
~ * ~ Another Side ~ * ~
by Arcadia Eclipse
I found it somewhat surreal watching as my most trusted subordinate was repeatedly battered into the unforgiving concrete by his own weapon in the hands of the keyblade master. Roxas's Somebody fascinated me with the emotionless way that he struck the Luna Diviner time and time again without pause, shouting and slamming the hard metal of Saix's claymore into the Nobody's back, his chest and any other exposed piece of flesh that my injured lover was now too weak to defend. Perhaps the birth of Roxas had caused Sora to lose more of himself than the keyblade wielder ever realized and each successive strike increased my desire to steal the boy away and study him extensively in a controlled laboratory setting. Only the sight of Saix's flesh growing steadily fainter with each passing blow convinced me that a kidnapping would have to be postponed if only for a few hours to heal my lover and restore his strength before the final battle.
A portal of darkness opened just beyond my outstretched fingertips, quickly expanding to envelop my body and for a moment there was nothing but darkness invading my senses. Many lesser Nobodies had lost themselves in this endless nothing before but although wave after wave of darkness trickled over my flesh soundly blinding my eyes to the world without, the emptiness pressing in against my body resembles a living creature and like all things it bent to my will.
The portal opened above Saix's prone form just as the key bearer was landing another strike. There was surprise in his eyes, such a curious emotion, as his stolen blade met not weakened flesh but was instead stilled in my own two hands before it could reach my barely-conscious lover. Sora released the claymore and retreated a short distance to stand beside his bumbling companions, keyblade poised at the ready, and although I found myself drawn to testing the keyblade's true power I consoled myself that restoring Saix to his full strength before battling Sora and his allies in conjunction would ultimately render a more successful fight. I had no desire to callously destroy the boy, just a scientific curiosity to test the very limits of Sora's heart.
Beneath me Saix groaned, turning his head to spit blood upon the ground but instead making contact with my foot as I stood over his fallen frame. Perhaps the Luna Diviner's usually impeccable aim was compromised by his extensive injuries, but Saix's yellow eyes regarded me coldly and I suspected that my lover just didn't give a damn. I narrowed my own gaze in response and jabbed the bloodied toe of my boot into Saix's jaw roughly turning his head to the side and wiping my shoe clean of blood in his surprisingly silken hair before summoning a portal of darkness once more to transport us both to my lover's room in Castle Oblivion.
We emerged from the darkness beneath one of the numerous long windows in Saix's chambers and briefly I ignored his injuries in favor of throwing back the many curtains blocking the moonlight from striking my lover's flesh where he lay. The moon gave Saix his power and now I called upon it to aid me when crouching once more by his thoroughly bruised and broken frame. It was my first good look at the true extent of his injuries and though I was not one to admit defeat easily right now I found the man to be an eyesore. Bruises hiding broken bones were littered throughout his torso and the wheezing accompanying his labored breaths betrayed internal damage that I was unable to ascertain from without. He was beyond my repair, and as the realization hit me I sat back on my heels and eyed him accusingly.
"You were reckless."
"I did your bidding." He coughed blood once more, his voice cold and detached. Perhaps Saix already knew that his body was fading beyond my means of repair, but I didn't speak the obvious and he didn't ask for my opinion on his condition.
My last surviving subordinate, the most faithful even as others had been led astray, was fading before my eyes and there was nothing that I could do to prevent that fact. I might have felt angry about the current turn of events had I possessed the capacity to feel but as things were I just met Saix's piercing yellow eyes with my own and assessed the situation. I didn't want his half-existence to end like this at the hands of the key bearer. If Saix should fade…it ought to be on my own terms.
The caress of my hand upon Saix's cheek before pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth was a mockery of tenderness that neither of us possessed the capacity to truly feel. He tasted sweet yet feral when our lips met and though the Luna Diviner was often able to understand my commands without the need to vocalize them for now Saix was unable to read my intentions. Although thoroughly bruised and broken beyond my means of repairing him, Saix moved his lips against mine willingly ignoring the violence that Sora and his companions had inflicted upon him only moments before.
He was always so quick to recover from abuse even before we left our Somebodies behind and I shed the name Ansem forever. My only memory of hate was the evening I deliberately spied upon Xehanort after suspecting him of corrupting my research and discovered not a conniving scientist buried under miles of paperwork and chemical experiments as I had expected but instead my lust-driven apprentice thrusting earnestly between the trembling legs of my young nephew Sia. The boy was unwilling and in obvious pain, but though blood ties to his mother urged me to intercede and cease Sia's torment the teen was captivating when screaming through a cursory gag forced between his lips and even the blood painting his wrists where they were lashed to Xehanort's desk was beautiful.
I failed him that night, unable to quiet my own desires long enough to pull my fist from the confines of my pants so consumed was I with stroking myself in secret to the muffled screams of my nephew. Sia was raped before my eyes and the only thought that I could muster was how lovely he looked with tears on his cheeks and blood on his thighs. I vowed on my life that night to take Sia away from Xehanort and make the boy mine always one day. My apprentice would never once hear the lovely notes that this boy was truly capable of. Those screams were reserved for my ears alone when forcing Sia's young body to relinquish its heart and become my loyal warrior of the night. My Saix.
Although the memory plagued me, I could not trick myself into believing that this moment was the same. Moonlight bathed Saix's pale body in an unearthly glow through the tall windows above our hunched forms but the power that my lover derives from its light no longer flowed through Saix's veins. In spite of his golden eyes turned towards the celestial orb glowing full tonight outside the castle walls, I could taste only weakness in his breath and death on his lips as we kissed.
Of its own volition my hand moved from his cheek to pinch Saix's nose shut while redoubling the intensity of our mingled mouths. Never one to misunderstand my intent for long, Saix's body jerked and though he gasped for air my lips were persistent and would not allow any to pass into his mouth and relieve his now straining lungs. The longer that I denied him air the more vehement Saix's protests grew. Naturally powerful arms were now jerking wildly in my grip but my hands effectively pinned his trembling wrists together given my lover's injured state and through the breathless kiss I could feel him fading quickly beneath me.
It was in a last ditch effort to free himself and reclaim precious air that Saix jerked his head to the side and finally emitted a sweet howl of pain as his mouth was freed from my assault but the violent motion had broken his nose in my grip and now a steady flow of blood began to pour down his lips and throat to stain the soft blue hair splayed out on the floor beneath our bodies. It seemed that even in fading my preferred toy was as stubborn as ever and refused to allow me the pleasure of causing his demise.
"Fuck you…" he rasped while coughing blood upon my cheek, but though my lips were gone from his Saix continued to struggle for air now that he couldn't avoid choking on his own bitter blood as it trickled down his throat and into his lungs.
"In another life perhaps."
My lips descended upon him once more but without the intent to suffocate him this time. Perhaps I am a hypocrite after all, at first determined to end Saix's being on my own terms but now content to savor my lover's blood in delicate kisses to his lips and cheek while my hand held his chin rigidly upright to force the blood into his lungs instead of being wasted on his increasingly transparent flesh.
Part of me remains the ever-vigilant scientist and I found that the lurid anticipation of Saix's last labored breath nearly stilled my own for not wishing to miss a single nuance when seeing emotion for the first time upon my lover's face as he neared his final moments. What would Saix feel, what emotions would he experience? Fear, hate, regret or perhaps…even love? What would fading reveal to him that we as Nobodies, trapped in a world of non-existence, did not possess the ability to ascertain ourselves?
But there was nothing bordering emotion in those golden eyes that bored into mine until the very end and no more words passed his lips as Saix silently drowned in his own blood. It was anticlimactic in a way but I remained poised over my lover's lean body watching it fade once more into the nothingness which had born it nearly two years earlier. What a shame. He was always the most competent and trusted of my subordinates.
Idly licking the last traces of Saix's blood from my fingers, I rose and left my fallen lover's room for the last time in search of answers lurking in the eternal darkness that would serve as the final battleground between existence and emptiness: my Kingdom Hearts.