AN/So this is some basic silliness that I wrote for my English class. I hope it makes you laugh. It made me laugh. Please don't take it seriously.

I am late to your class because, as I exited my third period class, I tripped and fell. As I fell, I put my right foot forward to try to catch my fall. Instead, it turned me so that I landed on my side. If I hadn't fallen onto my side, I wouldn't have been late. However, this isn't why I was late, simply the event which led to the cause of my tardiness.

You see, when I fell, landing on my side had me facing a tree. In that tree was what appeared to be a kitten and, being the kind person that I am, I then proceeded to attempt to recue the kitten. It was just above my head, well within reach. I was surprised that it didn't simply jump down. I might have just left it, except for the fact that the poor thing was clearly scared out of its wits. Who was I to deny a cute kitten help?

I reached up to lift the kitten down from the tree when something shocked my right hand. Well…I'm not sure that 'shocked' is the right word. It felt more like a cross between a shock and a bite. I looked at the kitten suspiciously, but it didn't seem to have moved and was still yowling, so I reached up once again to try to help it to the ground. This time it felt like a cross between a shock and being clawed, right in my eye. I clutched my left hand to my eye as my right hand started to burn where it had been bitten/shocked. I glared at the cat, fully convinced that though it had not appeared to attack me, it was the one responsible for my pain.

I ran to the nurse's office where I was told there was nothing wrong with my hand or my eye. When I told her my entire head and arm felt like they were on fire, she calmly felt my hand and told me that I was imagining things and that, as a matter of fact, my hand felt like I'd just pulled it off a block of ice. Growing angrier by the second (and not wanting to be around her when my anger exploded), I raced out of the office and back to that fateful tree. I was ready to yell that cat down if that's what it took to get some answers.

I'm not sure that I was completely sane by that point in time.

However, the cat was nowhere to be seen. Instead, a man stood at the base of the tree. I stormed up to him and demanded he tell me if he'd seen a cat. By this time, the burning had spread to my other arm and was also halfway down my torso. It seemed like he either hadn't heard me or was ignoring me because he simply sighed and glanced over his shoulder. He then began to explain that he was a vampire and so was his cat. He had created the cat in an attempt to make the transformation to vampirehood easier on those who wished to become vampires. He then told me that, if I so desired, I could simply allow the transformation to finish or, if I preferred, he could use the ability all vampires had to return me to my original state.

I told him I didn't have the time to become a vampire right then, because I was late for English, but that I would probably try to find him again because I was interested and wanted to find out more about the possibility of becoming a vampire when I had time for it.

He nodded, then placed his had in front of my head so that all I could see was the palm of his hand and the green flames shooting from it. I could feel the flames drench me as the burning started to recede. Soon, the only things that burned were my hand and eye. I could see and feel his cool green flames attack my burning eye and hand until something dripped down my face and I saw a red liquid dropping from hand. As soon as the red liquid hit the ground, it bounced, apparently solid. I bent to pick up one of the small red beads from the ground. As I bent over, a shower of red drops fell from my face and scattered across the ground. I grabbed one of the crimson pebbles and straightened, noticing as I did so my once again perfect hand. My mind was clear from pain now as I looked at the man and realized he probably wasn't much older than me.

"Who are you?" I asked.

He smiled. "My name is Edward Cullen. You can contact me if you want to learn more about becoming a vampire." He handed me a business card, glanced at my hand and added, "Don't let that melt on you. I won't be able to stop the transformation again, even if I am there."

I nodded solemnly. "What should I do with it?"

"I can hang on to it for you," he offered, "You'll need it of you decide to join us anyways."

I silently handed it over, and then comprehended the rest of the sentence. "Us?" I asked, "There are more of you?"

He smiled wryly and reminded me of my English class. I quickly scribbled down this note, and you now know every detail of why I was late.

AN/Before you complain, yes, I know that is nothing like Edward. Second, I have hereby made up an excuse for the green flames thing. It's something all vampires can do with that cat. Usually he can keep the cat contained (otherwise the Voultori would be shaking their heads) but it got out and he had a failsafe green flames. Unfortunately it only works once, and it's only for the cat's venom. The cat's venom is slightly different, but very similar (remember all of the comparisons S.M. made between the vampire and cats? Well, maybe there weren't that many...but at the very least, Edward moved like a cat!). Also, the reason she wasn't sreaming in agony/out of it for three days is because the cat's venom is less painful and more eficient; it doesn't take anywhere NEAR as long (obviously). So anyways, PLEASE don't take this seriously, it's a joke and supposed to be funny! Also, PLEASE review!!