I can't say that I understand Mello, I trust him, respect him, maybe even adore him but understand no. I don't know what made me so different why whenever he's in a rage he never takes it out on me or my things. But for some reason when Mello is in one of those moods where he would even hit a girl he never lays a finger on me.
"Are you done destroying the apartment?" I only looked up from my game long enough to see if he had heard me but went back to it before he could tell I was looking.
"Not quite." Mello fumed throwing a nearby glass at the wall. I winced as it shattered and made a mental note to clean it up later, a mental note which I would probably forget.
"Try not to put any more holes in the walls." In a way I was trying to provoke him I did this often testing where his limits with me were but as usual he just stormed off in search of something new to destroy.
My game wasn't going to well I couldn't concentrate for wondering what I'd find broken later. When I didn't hear any destructive bangs or crashes after fifteen minutes I decided it was best to go investigate. I found Mello lounging on a chair in his bedroom eating a bar of chocolate and judging by the wrappers in his lap I'd be willing to bet it wasn't his first.
"You calm Mel?" Most people would be risking their sanity asking him that question but I knew I wasn't in any danger although why, was still a mystery to me.
"Yeah Matt…you actually put your DS down I'm amazed." His characteristic tone was back in his voice which made me smile that was the way I liked Mello best.
"Are you going to tell me now what pissed you off?" I leaned against the wall and pulled out a cigarette figuring I'd need the pick me up for the fallowing discussion.
"Near." He hissed the name spitefully glaring at his half eaten chocolate bar like it had murdered his family, it looked as though his pick me up wasn't doing a very good job.
"Why am I not surprised, what did he do this time?" I didn't know how much of what he'd tell me was true but I'd listen , I'll always listen to him.
"How is it possible to do everything right all the time I don't understand how he does it." Mello's hatred became obvious in his voice and I started to give the question a second thought.
"It isn't possible to do everything right, he's made his mistakes to." It was an attempt at being comforting but attempts never got anywhere with Mello.
"How would you know Matt have you ever seen these mistakes?" I put my cigarette out on the wall it would need replacing anyway after todays little episode. I walked over to him and sat on the arm of his chair though he'd never admit it sometimes being close to someone who cares about him was good for his disposition. Not that I was altogether sure he knew I cared.
"Near has one major flaw…" I started pulling my goggles off my eyes to see him better.
"He will never be close to anyone, he's to cold nothing means much to him except his intelligence." On a whim I flicked a lock of stray hair out of Mello's face, not knowing why but having the strange desire to touch him.
"It's not like I get close to anyone, even the people I want to get close to." He tossed his empty candy wrappers in the general direction of the wastebasket, shrugging leather clad shoulders when they fell a couple inches short of their destination.
"That's not entirely true, we've been close for almost as long as I can remember." In my own way I was trying to leech information from him. I realized I wanted to know exactly what he thought of me. Maybe if I found that out I'd get the courage to tell him exactly how I feel about him. I hoped he would have nothing bad to say.
"Not as close as I would've hoped." Mello spoke in an unusually quiet voice almost like he was embaressed, I had never seen him embaressed before.
"Um…elaborate please." I couldn't think of anything else to say, somewhat anxiously I lit another cigarette forcing my mind to calm down by wondering what I was in for in the next level of my game.
"Well if you really want to know pay attention I', only gonna say it once." Mello knew how to get my attention but my nerves were getting the best of me so I watched him out of the corner of my eye rather than looking directly at him.
"Your right we've been together for a long time but I want more." It was spoken bluntly and at a speed slightly faster than his usual tone. I dropped my cigarette stepping on it roughly and shaking my head to cover my shock.
"More…Mello are you saying your into me?" it sounded dumb even to my own ears but I was to stunned to come up with anything better. I watched him form his reply my eyes were drawn to his lips and I was surprised by the urge to feel those lips.
"That's one way to put it." I was snapped back to reality by a hand resting itself on top of my own although for once reality felt more like a dream.
"Mello your blushing." I smiled at him turning my hand over so that our fingers slid together, it was a plesant feeling and only succeeded in making me want to kiss him more.
"Shut up Mail." There was no edge in is voice to support his words rather a kind of fondness as he said my name. It had been a while since anyone had called me by my real name even I thought of myself as Matt now but I liked the way Mello said that name.
"Can I do something?" I figured I'd throw him off balance by asking, being confused tended to make his guard slip.
"Go ahead." He was holding my hand incredibly tightly I hoped he didn't break anything I would need all of my fingers to beat the next level of the game I was working on. I don't think Mello expected my next move but I've never been skilled with words, expressing myself with actions just came easier. He didn't pull away when I pressed my lips against his in fact after recovering from the initial shock I felt him kiss back. It was a good feeling but I'd never imagined that my first kiss would be with Mello, not that I had a problem with the fact that it turned out that way. I decided to experiment a little letting the hand that was not currently occupied by Mello's death grip rest on his cheek for a second before pushing it back into his hair which was surprisingly soft. Mello took that as an invitation to do a little experimenting of his own which was perfectly ok with me but as his hand started to caress my neck I found myself cursing my goggles for the first time. Much to my disappointment breathing became necessary and I was forced to remove my mouth from Mello's.
"That was different, you actually did something unpredictable." As he shifted positions in the chair his pants creaked and I wondered how he could possibly find leather comfortable. I wasn't complaining he looked good in those pants!
"What now?" I asked not firmilar with what to do after nearly making out with your best friend.
"We could do that again." He suggested reaching up and pulling the goggles from around my neck. Normally I would worry that I'd never see them again once they came in contact with this floor but today circumstances where a little different and the thought didn't even occur to me.
"I take it we've come to an agreement then." I didn't want to let myself get used to kissing him if it was only going to be for one night.
"Don't worry so much." I wasn't expecting him to pull me onto his lap but one moment I was sitting on the chair arm and the next I was seated on Mello his arms twisted around my waist pinning me to him.
My lips found his easily my hands once again entangling themselves in his hair. He kissed back eagerly one of his hands sliding to perch on my hip while his tounge pushed it's way into my mouth. That probably should have been weird, this was openly admitting to being gay this was kissing a man I had known practically all my life but it felt normal actually quite wonderful straight down to the butterflies warring with each other in my stomach.
"Matt…" Mello started breathlessly disengaging himself from the kiss, "I think I've fallen in love with you." Those words coming from that person had the same effect as seeing a ghost I was having trouble convincing myself they were real.
"So that's why…" As quietly as I said it the fact that I was literally on top of Mello made it easy for him to hear.
"What?" His hand had found mine again his other arm winding more tightly around me holding me firmly in place.
"You've never hit me or threatened me or even yelled at me I didn't know why, I'm guessing that this would be the reason." I knew the answer before I had even asked the question but the more I talked about how he felt the more I realized that I to was falling in love with him.
"Yeah that would be it." He seemed content just sitting there holding me I knew it made me happy I just hoped that he truly was as content as he seemed.
"So from now on your mine right?" Today seemed to be overflowing with really corny somewhat lame lines but it sounded right and I really wanted to know.
"No matter what." His lips met mine for the third time however this time they lingered there for only a couple seconds. I rested my head against his chest feeling better than I had in a long time and wanting nothing more than to stay that way.
"Mello…I love you to." I managed to say it without stuttering however I did feel the colour creep up into my cheeks and buried my face in his chest to disguise that fact.
"I know Matt, I wouldn't have it any other way." He rested his chin on top of my head, I couldn't see his smile but I knew it was there and I was glad to find that he was happy to.