Running on Bravado
Chapter One - Ef. Em. El.
Unconsciousness is snatched away from me. I feel the pain in my head. Like my skull is cracking to twice its size. But the lights are different. I am no longer looking up at the night sky veiled by amber street lamps. I've been moved from outside.
"Alex he's awake," a soft voice permeates the silence. "Feck, you had me worried there, Teddy Bear." Hazel whispers mostly to herself, as if struggling to admit it.
"You with me Teddy?"
I don't really want to answer if it means I get to drift off to sleep. I'm emotionally exhausted. It hurts more than being physically exhausted.
"Come on Teddy. You're all fixed up," Alex coaxes, after mumbling something to himself. Probably swearing. "You can sleep in a moment. What happened?"
What's there to know? I got into a fight with my supposed beloved. If I don't dwell on the images, there is no verifying it. I don't want to tell them this story. I don't want to make it solid, real, tangible. I can make up the reason for the pain in my head. I fell over rather than Victoire hitting me over the head with a frying pan. But only if it stays my little secret.
"There's nothing to know," I hiss back.
"Why was all your stuff out in the streets?"
"Piece it together Alex," I reply.
"Do you want us to let the department know there was a case of domestic abuse?" Alex persists.
"Fuck no. Let me forget about it. It was brutal as it was, I don't want to make this fight any uglier. I just want to bury it," I say wearily. "Did you pick my stuff up?"
"Yeah, it's all here," Hazel replies. "In me spare room. It's all yours for tonight."
I want to say that it wouldn't be appropriate staying at Hazel's given that I am newly single. And she is wonderful. And she's a colleague. But Alex has no room for me. I don't want to stay with grandma. Going back to staying with Harry in close proximity to the Weasley clan might be a bit tense so-
Might as well stay.
"I can sort it now Alex, darling. Get to bed," Hazel says, in her soothing lilt.
"Alright. Call me if any problems arise. He should be OK. Patched him up and all," Alex mumbles, sulkily. "See you in the morning."
"Ta love," she replies.
Looking around, I notice I'm in the living room. On Hazel's sofa. Her gaming chair sits a little way away with the Xbox controller snaking around the base. She sits on the arm of the sofa, looking over her shoulder as Alex closes the door behind him. I sit up cautiously, feeling a little nauseous from exhaustion.
"How'd you find me?" I ask, rubbing my head.
"You still had the charms monitoring your vitals from an earlier mission. It alerted Alex. He was round here on me games so I came with when he realised and set off," she says. Now that there's space, she sits beside me on the sofa. Dressed in pyjamas. Trust her not to care. Her golden brown hair is brushed aside in messy ponytail. She looks at me steadily. "You gonna tell me what happened?"
"No."
"Don't make me beat it out of you, gobshite. It'll do you much better than getting shitfaced," she says, without frills. She means business. I look up, trying to appear resentful. She can't hold this seriousness. I know it hurts her features. It doesn't look natural- her mouth can't hold that curt line. There! A quirk to the side. A half smile. "'Sides, ain't gonna work. I have some pretty heavy charms on me liquor cabinet."
"We just had a fight," I sigh.
"Looked like a bit of biggie. I thought she were trying to paint the wall with your brains."
"She's been promoted in the diplomatic mission. She's leaving. She wanted me to quit being an Auror to come with her and I said no."
"You're simplifying. Obviously," she says.
"She doesn't think I'm good enough for her."
"Stop making out to be the martyr."
"Fine, I didn't want to be with her anymore either. She's stifling. And I was starting to resent her."
"Better."
"But I'm still upset."
Maybe it was the inconvenience. Maybe it was genuine anger. I just feel too mixed up. I hope things clear up, separate like oil and water.
"Hey, it were your first serious relationship. It's OK to be choked up. But-" she pauses, brings her knees to her chest, "you want me take on all this?"
"Not really."
"It's 'cause you failed at being normal that you're upset."
Better. Oil and water. But it's still not what I want to hear. Hazel's piercing like that. I'm afraid I cannot keep anything from her. She's too brilliant. Too perceptive. Damn scientist types.
"You should tell me 'bout it some time. It'll make you feel better," she says, a lot mort softly than before. Easier. After interrogation, it's usual to display a little bit of kindness to lull someone's guard. Clever.
"I will," I sigh. "Tell me, do you enjoy being a confessional?"
"I try me best to help is all. Now, do you want to play some games to get you settled or shall I let you get some sleep?"
"I'm done for the night."
"A'ight. See you in the morning for work. I'm guessing you're going?"
"Of course."
"Sorted then. Spare room's just that way when you feel up to it. Give us a yell if something's up. Night Lupin."
"Night O'Driscoll."
I watch her move away and feel lonelier than ever. I suppose I should expect it. She's left me without any armour, from just a brief emotional intrusion. I should tell her, before she figures it for herself, that she was part of the fight.
I don't want her stumbling upon the truth. It's too dangerous. I want her to stay as she is. Though she gives all the impression of strength, I can't help but view Hazel as delicate. She's mercurial, prone to change. I can't have that happen. I'm too delicate at the moment for change.
Groaning, I move towards the spare room. I stumble into the en suite, finally taking in my appearance. Electric blue hair is stained purple with blood and I admire Alex's handiwork which has left no scratches. I need to apologies to Alex tomorrow, for being curt. I just can't tell him these things easily even though we've been friends since the beginning of the Auror Academy.
It's 'cause you failed at being normal that you're upset.
Was there any hope of being normal for me?
Ugh. No sense in being more miserable than necessary. I flump onto the bed and try to sleep. I'll need it for tomorrow at work.
"We have been squandering the gift of magic. Magical ability is getting weaker with each generation. We must be more careful and preserve what little magic we have by taking care when reproducing. We are not at all like the Death Eaters of the times of terror, but we must acknowledge the relevance and importance of genetics in these matters-"
At breakfast, Hazel unceremoniously cuts out the preaching on the radio and puts on a CD. She has systematically encased every piece of vital electrical equipment in her flat in a sort of Anti-Magic bubble. I'm not sure how she figures out how these things work. She was tipped to work in the Department of Mysteries before deciding that being an Auror would be 'more fun'. She hasn't quite gotten rid of her mad scientist streak either.
"Can't stand that bullshit. We're gonna start hearing about the master race soon enough."
I stand by the hob, keeping an eye on the eggs while Hazel ghosts about in her pyjamas like she's lost. Indie rock fills her London apartment. I plate up while she summons the carton of orange juice out of the fridge and sits at the table.
"Smells good Teddy Boy."
"Enjoy," I say as I send the plates spinning her way with my wand. She catches hers deftly with a huff.
"What's on your agenda for work today?" she asks as she reaches for the ketchup.
"Apologise to Alex. Dodge Uncle Harry. Work on busting the drug barons in northeast Knocturn. Finish paperwork. Try and find somewhere to live."
"Well you can live here if you don't mind dealing with London prices. I mean, your pay will get bumped up next month from seniority right? What's your budget?"
I try and crunch the maths. "£400 for the rent."
"You'll be doing me a favour now. Rent's normally £650. £325 then sound good? And Old Street station is only around a mile away. What do you say?"
"It'd save me a lot of trouble. Thanks," I smile. It's a bad idea, but I can't say no. I kid myself that it's temporary, half-heartedly lie that I have every intention of leaving. I don't think I have the courage to do that just yet. Nor do I really want to find the courage to either.
"Good. We'll celebrate tonight. Bar crawl?"
"You bet."
"Lets get the office in on it. Invite that girl Alex is always following around like a fecking lost puppy. Sammi Ng isn't it? Not that I can blame him- she's got a pair of fun bags on her. You could use one of her bras as a hammock."
"Be nice, Hazel," I raise an eyebrow.
"I am. Just saying that he ought to find his tongue around the ladies is all-"
"Haaaaazel-"
"Merlin's fecking beard, I just meant he should speak up not that! Mind you, learning how to use his tongue in its other capacity won't do him no harm. Anyway, I reckon he'll be in more of a mind to forgive you if you offer to be his wingman."
"If you say so."
"Well that's grand isn't it? Operation trouser spelunking is a go."
Her smile is infectious and I feel the shadow of one begin to materialise. A little giggle bursts out from her as a snort. Her eyes drift from my face to above my head. She stares at the clock for a few seconds despondently.
"Ah shite. That the time? Hope we're not late."
"You OK, Teddy?" Alex asks as I plonk myself into my seat. His head hovers above the cubicle wall.
"Yeah, thanks. I'm sorry."
"That's fine. You were distressed."
I wrinkle my nose. "I think distressed was a bit strong."
"Upset then," Alex smiles.
"I was going to apologise earlier but you disappeared. I was starting to worry you were sulking in the break room or something-" Alex cuffs me over the top of the head amidst my laughter. "Where did you get to?"
"Looking after the big dogs. Specifically the golden cock of the department," Alex sighs.
"Hampton?"
"Yeah. What a dick! He ran out into the open without even asking for covering fire and then yells at the rest of us for not following. Then I had to patch up an arterial tear from a Slashing Curse of some kind. Merlin I'll need a drink tonight."
"Well, Hazel and I are going out on the town. I'm moving in with her. I think she's inviting more people. Including Sammi."
"What?"
"All her idea I swear," I hold up my hands to show my obvious innocence in the matter.
"Am I that transparent?"
"Well you could try tucking your tongue in- fuck!"
He drops a folder on my head. He usually reacts like this. I reason it's because he can't use the customary response of 'your mum' on account of it being harsh in my case.
"And what have you done today? Sat on your arse?" he adds the snipe in.
"Matter of fact yes. I'm still trying to push through the paperwork from last week's raid in Portsmouth," I lift a hand, exasperated.
"You're still processing arrests?" he asks in disbelief.
"No ... it's for er ... collateral damage."
"You dick."
"It was Hampton actually."
"Suuuure."
"Well that's what I'm saying anyway. Hard to believe?"
"Not at all."
"So ... you're coming out for a drink then?" I ask, moving swiftly on. Alex purses his lips in mock indecision. I roll my eyes.
"Sure, but Teddy ..."
"Yes?"
"You really think moving in with Hazel is a good idea? I mean, you have just broken up."
"Well I-"
"Sure you're not on the rebound?"
"I- wait. I never told you I liked her- ah shit!" I run a hand over my face. "Am I that transparent?"
Alex smirks. "Try tucking your tongue in."
"Alex Law to Briefing Room," a voice announced over the office. Alex sighs and disappears behind the cubicle wall.
"You know, because I haven't done fucking enough today," he mumbles.
"It's nearly the end of the day. It must be a short one. Maybe they just want someone to go fetch the milk for the Heads. You know, so you can make their tea," I reason.
"Fuck off. Fuck right off," he huffs and wanders off, passing my cubicle in a grand pantomime of despair.
There's only an hour left. I finish the last form for the day and decide to relax. There's nothing I am willing to start. I hope a field mission comes up soon-
"Teddy Lupin, Hazel O'Driscoll and Sammi Ng to Briefing Room."
Well shit, something tells me this isn't a very small operation. Alex is going to pissed. Bet he was asked for three helpers and picks me for revenge, Hazel because she's actually pretty good at her job and Sammi for the view. Devious little fucker.
Hazel's head pops up on the other side of the office. Sammi's too short to see over the cubicle walls, but when we head into the corridor we all walk along. My eyes slide sideways to Hazel. Typical. Wearing a Quidditch shirt and an old pair of what I swear are my jeans-
"Fuck!"
"You're a royal eejit. Watch where you're going," Hazel laughs.
I apologise to the girl I walked into and nurse the coffee stains out of my shirt with my wand. "Your assistance is much appreciated. Hey Sammi, you joining us tonight?"
"I'd love to," she smiled timidly. "I just hope this doesn't take too long."
I open the door to the Briefing Room and usher the girls in. Sammi says, "Thanks." Like a normal person. Hazel settles on, "Cad."
Sitting at a round table are Alex and Harry, faces solemn. Ours are quickly set on that template. I was hoping not to see Harry today. It's hard when we work together but-
"We have a bit of an emergency."
- at least he'll be concentrating at the matter at hand.
"We have a hostage situation in Knockturn. The hostage is James McManus, the heir of the prestigious family. Assailants descended on the family's Hertfordshire estate and kidnapped James. The father tried to apprehend them and landed one hit before being knocked unconscious," Harry says. I feel like he isn't looking at me in an attempt not to make me feel nervous. It doesn't work.
"Unfortunately the hit on one of the kidnappers has made it a little more complicated," Alex adds. "With one of them sustaining broken ribs and a suspected ruptured lung they've demanded, on top of other demands of prison release, that a Healer attends to him or else they're going to kill James. And I've been nominated."
"Congratulations," Hazel couldn't help but smile.
"Obviously we don't want to lose Alex," Harry jumps in. I snort unintentionally. Not even sure why. Harry unrolls a map and taps it with his wand. We are treated with a ghostly street view of Knockturn. "So, we need a plan. Since Alex picked you, I'm guessing he has a purpose so let's kick it off."
"The safety of the hostage is paramount so ... I'll agree to attend to the wounded assailant. In the meantime, Hazel I need you to enchant something like a coin- something small, with a shielding mechanism. As strong as you can. Teddy, Harry said you can borrow an invisibility cloak to sneak in and activate the shield around yourself and the hostage. Sammi, you can access the window through your animagus form and once inside, help me fight them off until reinforcements can break through the door. Oh, and Hazel, can you set up communications for us as well?"
"Sure, but ... how many men are in that room?" Hazel asks.
"Eight," Harry says.
"If I'm going to ward off a potential eight spells simultaneously plus continuous battering thereafter it will take me about two hours to build up the strength of the shield," Hazel says. "I'll need help from a strong Wizard then I can do it in half an hour," she hints unsubtly.
Harry raises an eyebrow. "You could just say."
"Sorry. I have delicate manners like that, sir," she winks. "Let's get to work then."
"Apparition point at 16:52," Alex says. "Do your thing till then."
Sammi, Harry and Hazel left the room. I stand, sharing the space with Alex uncomfortably. I can hear his nervous energy. He taps his feet when he's anxious. I feel like I should comfort him. Taking a step, I place a hand on his shoulder calmly.
"Alex, I need you to know that no matter what happens I have always loved you. Without you, my life would be incomplete."
He gives me a sardonic look so acidic I'm scared it'll burn my face off. "If that's how you feel, go have a wank. As long as it gets you to fuck right off."
"Love you too, Alex."
"And I fucking hate you."