Title: The Baby Hunt
Author: Annievh
Word Count: 100x5
Fandom: HIMYM
Characters/Pairings: Barney/Robin, ensemble
Rating/Warnings: spoilers up to RIGHT PLACE, RIGHT TIME
Author's Notes: english is my second lenguage, so forgive the grammar. Unbeta'd, sorry, I was in a hurry.
One more note: I forgot to say, this was inspired by a review I've read on TELEVISION WITHOUT PITY.
And just one more: wirtten for the HIMTBBT100 challenge: scavenger hunt.
1. SHOCK
Robin says "I'm pregnant", and Barney takes off. Robin isn't really sure why - maybe he really hates babies, maybe his math sucks and he thinks he's the father. All she knows is that it was pretty damn funny, and she wishes she had had her camera for a little "youtube vengeance".
She throws up in the boll some more and gasps. At least Ted had the cortesy of propposing. Of course, if her pregnancy were true, the proposal would probably freak her out, but it's nice to see a gentleman now and then.
And Barney is just not that guy.
2. FIRSTH, BABY THINGS
He calls his brother and begs him not to tell mom. James does so but crosses his fingers and grins.
Barney sighes and says: "I need baby things, because a friend is having a baby."
James chuckles: "Oh, Barney, what did you do?"
He says, very offended, that it's not his (yet), and he swears he has nothing to do with it (yet), and would he please not tell mom (ye- no, never mind).
James asks why he can't tell mom if he has nothing to do with- that's pretty much when Barney yells: "You gonna help me or not??"
3. AND A LOTTA STUFF TO GO
After James promises to send him everything James Jr. does not need anymore, he heads up to his appartment. He needs to hunt some things down and throw them away. The guest-room-turned-into-sex-room will fit for better purposes. Maybe not so funny purposes, but it's for a good cause. There goes the sling, the cameras, the watter mattres, the cuffs, the porn, the lesbian porn, the transsexual porn he bought thinking it was big lesbian women porn, and the stock of condoms. From now on, he's pretty sure he'll only need one pack at the time.
4. AND NOW, A BEST MAN
So he calls Marshall for an emergency meeting and they get to the roof, but no beers there. He tells Marshal everything and, before he can burst into tears because he is so happy for Robin, Barney tells his plan and says he'll need a best man. And he can't call Ted because he's Robin's ex, so he wants Marshall to convince Lily.
Marshall's hurt, but he dials anyway and says: "Robin is pregnant and Barney is gonna propose."
He gives Barney the phone and Barney can feel Lily is trying to bite down her anger: "What - did - you - do?"
5. OH, WAIT, A RING!!
So he gets to Ted's and asks for his help, because he's probably got a whole stock of engagement rings in his closet, probably organized by size and cut. Did Stella ever gave hers back? No? Oh, Teddy, Teddy, you poor little romantic dork.
At that point, Ted is more than thrilled to say Robin was kidding. Hahaha. Who's the dork now?
And Barney rushes out the door again. He's gotta call a Marshall and Lily and bribe them for secrecy. He's gotta call James before he tells mom. And he's gotta dive in the dump after some quality porn.